by Rita Hestand
"Do you deny you enjoyed the kiss?"
He exhaled a breath. "Most kisses I do enjoy, Naomi, but once I found her unfaithful, I wanted no more to do with her. I did not choose to be rude to her, I simply wanted her gone. I have not touched her in five months. This is the truth. I admit I have felt sorry for her… shall we say. But I finally realized it is her problem and she must make the changes, I cannot do that for her. She is like a drunk she must cure herself. This child she is carrying may help her see."
"You've kissed her twice, once when she asked permission to marry and last when she was leaving."
"I suppose from your point of view, you are correct. I suppose it created a doubt. I am sorry for that. Very sorry. I did not see it from the right way, I was wrong. Big Hand helped point that out to me. I never meant to embarrass or hurt you, Naomi."
"Thank you for that admission. Still, she had no reason to be faithful, she wasn't married to you."
"That is true, but when you take someone to your bed, you expect them to come to you and at least tell you they want another. Had she, I would have said yes, and understood. But I still would not have bedded her again."
"I've never been in that position to know, but it sounds reasonable."
He smiled.
"I never loved Painted Dove, Naomi. Never! I knew what she was before I took her, she wasn't very secretive about it. But selfishly I sought a child from her. My reason for having her, was no better than hers for letting me take her." Seeing she was skeptical he sighed heavily. "A man does not love every woman he takes to his bed. Especially if all she wants is sex. And believe me, it's all Painted Dove ever wanted. It is a disease with her that she should fight. She seeks her own fulfillment and no one else's. She is in some ways like your white husband, she seeks to please herself."
"Then why did you take her in the first place?"
"A man has needs, she enjoys having sex. But she has no idea what making love to a man is. There is a difference. This I know first-hand. She is full of lust. When a man and a woman love each other, it is so much more pleasurable than getting on and off, as you say John did."
"Yes, I'm well aware of how John did it, and I do not seek that kind of relationship with any man again." She declared.
"I'm glad."
"You are?" she looked struck.
"Not for the reason you think. Now, let's talk about why I did not push you away."
"Because I'm your wife and you are a man of needs…. "
"No," he raised her chin with the crook of his finger, so she would look at him now. It was a gentle raising, and his looked devoured her. She trembled. His eyes softened on her, and she didn't know what to say or do. "I did not push you away because I did not want to push you away. We've shared nothing of our bodies but a few kisses, and I've enjoyed every one of them. I treasure them. Your kisses are different Naomi than any woman I have ever known."
"I don't understand that? Do I do it wrong?"
"You would if you knew more about making love, your lips melt beneath mine, I feel it. That does not happen often to people who kiss."
Her mouth fell open, in a soft gasp. "They do? I'm sorry. I didn't realize. You should have told me I wasn't doing it right. But in all fairness, I haven't had much practice in kissing."
"Oh, believe me, you were doing it very right Naomi. And don't be sorry. I loved every kiss. And every time we kissed, I wanted more, much more, but I didn't know if you did. And I am not a man to push a person. I want a willing woman."
She again looked struck. "I guess I have confused you as much as you confuse me."
"Naomi," he said her name like a prayer. "I have longed to share much more with you. I thought if I took you right away, you'd resent me and want to leave. I thought you'd think me a savage. I did not want you to look upon me that way. John did not treat you right, Naomi, and I so want to. I'll admit I long to run my hands through your beautiful hair, to let my kisses linger, to take you and make you mine. I want that very much Naomi, but I want you to want that too. Now, I must ask, as I do not know the answer. What do you want of me?"
She bowed her head, blushed and hesitated to say what she needed to say so badly.
Ever so slowly, her eyes met his now, her hands trembled, "Some of what you say, is very right." She gave him her hand. He held it with both hands. "At first, I was afraid of you just taking me, like you say, to make a child. One, I wanted to be wanted, not just to make a baby. It seemed like history repeating itself when you told me you wanted a child. I know it is selfish of me, but I wanted someone to want me…just me, for the first time in my life. Most men look at Painted Dove and want her immediately. It has never happened with me. I married John, and even he did not care to look upon me. I figured there was something wrong with me. I even tried once to seduce him, and he rejected me, making me feel dirty and ugly. So, I decided seducing was better left to other women, as I wasn't doing it right."
"I cannot imagine any man not wanting you!"
Her mouth gaped open. "I'm not a saint, Red Elk. I fought the feelings you brought out in me. Then I began to look at you. And looking at you did things to me. I never looked at a man like I did you. You see, everything I did John said was a sin. Looking at a man, wanting a man, and sharing in the taking, all of it was wrong, and sinful. He had me believing it. But when I would look at you, I had such strange and wonderful feelings. And I'll admit, I felt guilty about looking too. But some of the things you did, like coming after me each time I ran away, and then when you bought this ring for me…" she held it to her lips and kissed it now. She stared at it. "I know this is a material thing, the ring. But it means so much to me. I'm sure you didn't know this when you bought it for me. But I longed to have one. I couldn't believe you… did that for me. And at that moment, when you recited the words… I wanted you to take me then. Right then, I wanted to be yours. It made me feel… like I was special. For the first time in my life, I felt special. I felt happy. And I've never felt that way before. Like I was somebody. But we didn't come together, and I thought it was too soon. I longed to tell you how much it meant to me, how much I appreciated what you did, just to please me. When you said the vow that went with the ring, I couldn't believe you even knew those words…"
"A friend at the fort told me what the rings symbolized. A promise to each other when you wed."
"I cried because that ring was what I wanted so badly. And you killed five bears to get it. I couldn’t believe you'd done that just to give me a ring. I was yours that day…" she looked at him with a tear in the corner of her eye, "and I'm yours now… "
His eyes glistened. "I wish I'd known?"
"I-I want— you to claim me, as your wife. To make me yours. To be one with you." she whispered for his ears alone. "I want to belong and know that in my heart. If I am to stay married to you, then I must feel married in my heart. I am jealous of Painted Dove because I do not feel I can hold you as a woman. John had other women, you have Painted Dove. I only want one man to love me. Is it so wrong to want this for myself? To be selfish, to be jealous?"
She leaned into him, put her soft lips to his and gently pushed him down. "I'm not sure I'm doing anything right, but I want you Red Elk, you and you alone."
The kiss was heated and carried a message from one heart to another. It spoke of coming together.
"I have longed for this time between us…" he whispered as he rolled her over and kissed her sweet lips again.
"I want to know I belong to you," she whispered as her lips moved over his. "Only you! I don't want to have to ask. I want to know in my heart." she whispered between torrid kisses. "I want to be your wife in every way. If I am to be Indian, I want to be Indian in every way. I want this village to be my village, this home to be my home, you to be…. Mine! And know this," She took her hands and kept him at bay. "I do not want to share you with anyone! If I must share you, then I do not wish you to take me. Can you understand that?"
"Yes, my sweet, I can understand. And I promise you
there is no other. You are mine and I am yours." He stared, his eyes going over her now. "If anyone comes in this time, I may have to kill them," he whispered as his lips began to trail over her face and neck. "You do not have to share me, my sweet. I have wanted you since I first laid eyes upon you."
He kissed her for a long time, and they were breathless when he finally came up for air.
"You will be mine from this day forward and I too do not want to share you with anyone." he whispered between soft kisses to the corner of her mouth. "I was simply too stupid to see that you were ready for this."
She chuckled softly. "You are not stupid, you are very smart. In ways I cannot imagine."
These were not the same kind of kisses John gave. These were kisses of love, of coming together as one. Her fingers ran through his hair pulling him closer. Sighing with such satisfaction.
She felt free, released, and so much in love. She wanted these moments with him, had for so long.
His hand ran the length of her, finding the edge of her dress, he began pulling it up, she moved to help him, until she lay naked as he pulled it over her head.
She'd never lain naked with a man before. She was afraid she would not be enough for him.
He stared at her body, his eyes gleaming with such pleasure. Then his hands followed his eyes, as he touched and caressed her. He was so gentle, so loving.
His lips burnt a trail down her neck slowly and her shoulders until they reached her breasts where he stared intently at her, "I have never seen a woman such as you before." He told her.
"I'm no different than…. Am I?" She cried her fear of rejection inserting itself.
"Oh yes, you are. Much different. Your breasts are beautiful mountains with the darkest pink of peaks. The color of a rose, and your skin, is milky white. They look totally untouched."
"They are untouched." She whispered.
"Not for long, my sweet, that I can promise you."
She made a sound in her throat. "They are. John never touched or looked at me like this… it feels… strange to have a man look at me." she breathed rapidly as his eyes feasted on her. "I'm very afraid I won't be enough for you."
He stared into her eyes, his concern was only for her now.
"John was a fool, much like Painted Dove. He never touched you, here, did he?"
"No, he never really touched or looked at me. It made me feel so ugly." she admitted her shame.
He looked at her, pushing her hair from her face, and cupping her cheeks. "Tell me something, when he took you, did you feel anything."
"Feel anything, why no. Other than his intrusion, no. Never. Nothing but the getting on and getting off and his often groan. He was usually pretty quick about it. Why, should I have? I mean, I let him enter me, and the first time hurt, but after that, it was nothing but the getting on and the getting off."
Red Elk's eyes glittered into hers, and his smile melted over her with admiration. "I'll admit that having sex for the sake of it, is sinful, but… making love isn't." He whispered softly in her ear. He stared at her breasts now. "From this day forward John and Painted Dove no longer exist between us. Only you and I, and what we create."
She nodded, mesmerized by the look on his face. "Would you… teach me your love?" she asked softly, her eyes sparkling with the memory of his words. "For I have known none."
He smiled tenderly at her. "Before this night is over, you will know…. My love. I want to kiss you there, may I?"
Before she could answer, his lips covered her nipple softly, his hand held one breast, his tongue swirled over the other, creating a tightening in her stomach and a gasp from her lips. "Oh my…"
"Am I hurting you?"
"No-o, it's just… such a feeling…" she cried. "You kiss me there and other parts of me seem to come awake."
"Enjoy it my love… for you have never been made love to, which is a crime for such beauty to go to waste."
He continued to kiss and lave her there, enjoying himself like a hungry man feasting. The sensation that rocked her body had her moving against him, wanting more, wanting to make more contact with him.
Then his hand went to her firm belly and he circled her belly button, kissing every inch of her. She'd never known such sensations before. She craved something, but she didn't know what. She could not put a word to it. She closed her eyes and let him move freely over her, absorbing every touch to memory.
Until now she'd thought kisses were for the lips only.
When his hand went to her lower, she was shocked, but the beautiful creations his kisses made to her body made her moan softly from such exquisite pleasure.
He parted her legs, his hands going up and down the beautiful shape of her legs, his lips going in the same direction. He even kissed her toes. It felt delightfully good. And when he put his mouth to her foot, she swooned. He slowly put each toe in his mouth, moving over them sinuously. Moving up and down them with such simple exploration. She felt some kind of burning need growing in her belly. A yearning, a fire!
His love making was sensual in every way. Her entire body was his now, and she knew it. She gave it willingly. Was a person supposed to enjoy the taking this much? For joy filled her now, joy, and love and such unending pleasure. An unknown happiness poured over her. How could a man such as this know so much about a woman's body? No wonder women sought him.
Still, the ultimate pleasure came when his hands went back to her center core where he spread her legs once more and dipped his head so that his kisses surrounded her there. Her body lifted, her eyes barely open as such feelings assailed her. "Oh…. "
"Relax my sweet, let it sweep over you. Enjoy it. Do not hold back, let yourself feel." He murmured for her ears alone. Lost in a world of sensual pleasure she sighed. She spread her legs wider and raised her hips to his loving mouth. He held her backside, enjoying the way she gave herself to him.
He found her sweet core and he tasted and touched it, her body quaking with sensations she'd never realized were possible. A fire in her belly ached to have him take her. Her hips rose to meet his loving mouth now, unmindful of anything but the simple pleasures of loving each other. He could not get enough of her. Her hands reached for his hair and stroked him as he pleasured her.
"What is this feeling, this need?" she cried.
He smiled against her skin, "This is making love, my sweet Naomi."
All his senses were alerted to her now, her taste, her smell, her eager movements. He embraced her orgasm as she moaned so softly.
"It is heaven, is it not?" she asked as her body moved sinuously against him now.
"It is my love. This is love, this is as it should be. Your taste is mine now, you scent is mine. You belong to me forever. I could find you in a rainstorm."
Her hands began to roam over him as he kissed. She wanted to know every inch of him, to remember it, savor it.
She was lost in an erotic pleasure she never knew existed. When her body flushed with climatic pleasure she moaned with such wonder, seeking his mouth like seeking water for a thirst. His gentle lapping continued until all the pleasure drained from her. Everything stood still for that one moment, when her world exploded, and her body came alive.
"I should have waited for you…" she gasped.
"No, my love, this was for you. For the sweet innocence you offer me now. And I want to make you ready for me, when we become one. There is more to come my sweet, as I have just begun. To take a woman before giving love, is brutal, especially the first time. John hurt you, I will never hurt you. Never!"
She fell against the earth, gasping for air, for she forgot to even breath during the special moment between them.
No wonder Painted Dove wanted him so. For no man she knew, could do this with a woman. He slid his body up, to caress her breasts once more, and she felt little quakes of the orgasm that completed her. Her hand went to his back where she kneaded his flesh softly.
She opened her eyes and looked into his smiling face. "Oh my, it is shocking, breathtaki
ng, beautiful. Am I wicked for enjoying it?"
"No, my sweet. Never wicked. God gives us the power of love." His smile stretched, "It was good?" He asked.
"So very good, but…. Please… I want you. Make me yours. Make us one now. I need to know we are one."
His eyes gleamed, his smile beamed at her, "We have been one many times in my mind. I have wanted you since I saw you over the coals. Yes, Dear One, I will make you mine forever! I will take you, make you mine, and brand you, so you will always be mine. Are you sure you want me?"
She pulled him up to her and kissed him with a fever.
"Yes, I want you, have to be yours. Only yours! You have opened my eyes and my heart, and no man has done that."
He kissed her tenderly, his hands still kneading her breasts. Raising up on him now, she pulled his shirt away and took his breechcloth and threw it to the ground. She stared at him, admiring his manhood, feeling her body's reaction to the look of him. Every part of her that he had touched with his lips became an awakening. He was such a gentle lover. And she gazed upon him now. He was so beautiful to her. She began to explore him, as he had her. She'd never done this, and she so wanted it to be perfect for him. She gazed at his perfect body, longingly. "I have never looked upon a man, like this."
"Do I please you?"
"More than I can say." She kissed him everywhere, her lips pulling gently at his nipples until they puckered. Her hand reaching for his shaft, and softly touching him there. She heard his slight groan and gloried in it. This was a rare pleasure she had never shared with John. She'd never shared with anyone. Without a second thought, she bent down to touch her lips to him there and kissed him softly, her lips going over him with delicious intent.
She took in the scent of him, the taste of him, and smiled as she committed it to memory.
She heard him gasp with pleasure. Giving him pleasure pleased her. She smiled against him there, knowing she was doing something right.
He closed his eyes enjoying what she did for him. But he surprised her by pulling her up and entering her gently. "Dear One, forgive me, but I cannot wait to be one with you now. What you do for me is more than I expected. More than I even dreamed of."