by Kate Lattey
I sucked in a breath. “Today it hasn’t been,” I admitted. “Today has actually been the best day I’ve ever had at a show. But it’s not really about that. There’s…” I bit the sentence off before I could get myself into serious trouble. “It’s complicated. Family stuff.”
They looked at each other, then back at me. To their credit, they both looked genuinely shocked by my news.
“So your whole family’s moving?” AJ asked.
Of all the questions to ask, she had to pick that one. I shrugged. “I don’t know. Mum and I are. Pete’s already over living there. Dad’s…thinking about it. I guess. I don’t know.” I really didn’t want to cry, but I could feel the tears starting to leak out of the corners of my eyes. “I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
AJ moved around until she was sitting next to me, and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Why didn’t you say anything before?”
I tried to shrug, but AJ was stronger than she looked, and my shoulders were locked in place. “I didn’t want to ruin it. I had fun today.”
“We can have lots more fun if you stay,” AJ said.
“I’m starting to wish that I could,” I replied. I brushed at the tears in my eyes as Katy sat up sharply, looking at something over my head. “What?”
“Shh!” AJ and I ducked down as Katy craned her neck towards the ponies. I shimmied around and peered over the hay bales. Skip was dozing in his yard, but Buck was alert and looking down the aisle.
I heard Katy crack her knuckles, then she got to her feet. “Who’s there?”
Skip startled awake and stared at Katy in surprise as she climbed over the hay and walked up to him.
“Can you see anything?” AJ hissed.
“No. I think they’ve gone.”
AJ gave Katy a high-five as I got out of my sleeping bag and went to check on the ponies, although Katy swore that whoever she’d seen had been several metres away and couldn’t have come any closer without her seeing them. I checked their haynets and water buckets, and the buckles and clips on their rugs. Buck blew sleepy breath over me, and Skip drooled on my neck as I gave him the once-over.
“Who was it?” I asked her, and she shrugged. “But you said you thought you knew who was doing this.”
AJ looked startled, and I realised this was a new revelation to her. “Really? Who?”
“It was just a hunch, that’s all.”
“Hayley.” AJ said it before I could, but I was still surprised when Katy nodded.
“Why? I mean, I know she doesn’t like me. But…why? And why wait until now?”
“Because you made friends with us.”
“Why would that matter to her?” AJ asked, sounding genuinely confused.
“She doesn’t want me to have friends,” I said quietly, and Katy nodded again.
“And she’s been acting weird lately. I mean, she’s always been a bit of a cow. You’ve seen how she treats her sister. Always screaming at her and telling her she’s useless.”
I cringed. “She makes my parents look good. At least they do that stuff behind closed doors.” I needed to stop speaking without thinking. AJ’s eyes widened and Katy looked sad.
“I didn’t know your parents were that bad. But yeah, pretty much. I think because she can’t compete against you anymore herself, and she was hoping that Tess would go out and thrash you on her behalf. But now you’re winning and Tess keeps falling off Misty. It’s driving Hayley crazy to have to watch him go so badly. And then AJ made friends with you despite…” She hesitated, then cleared her throat and continued. “Despite me and Hayley telling her not to. Because AJ’s a better person than we are, it would seem. I think that’s what set Hayley off, but I have no proof.”
“But why not just take it out on me? That’s what she did last season. Why would she want to sabotage my ponies?” I asked, my head reeling.
“I don’t know. She didn’t actually hurt them,” Katy reminded me. “The glass could have been there by accident, you don’t know for sure. And we don’t know that it was her that did the other things either. But from the way she was talking last weekend after you’d gone, about how you deserved it and wasn’t I glad I got Molly back because imagine what might’ve happened to her if she had gone to you? Let’s just say it raised my suspicions.”
“You could’ve just told me,” I said. “It’s not like I would’ve been shocked.”
Katy shrugged again, driving her toe into the dirt. “I could’ve, but honestly? I was worried you’d tell your parents, and they’d call the cops or something. It was only a hunch, and if I’d been wrong, Hayley and everyone would hate me.”
“And then you’d know how it feels.” I bit back my words. “Sorry. That came out harsher than I meant it.”
“No, it’s fair. Because yeah, that’s pretty much it. I didn’t want to be ostracised like you have been. But AJ kept saying that you weren’t so bad, and she convinced me to give you a chance, and see for myself.”
“And I was right,” AJ said firmly. “Wasn’t I?”
I wouldn’t have been brave enough to put Katy on the spot like that, but I was relieved when she nodded. “Yeah, turns out you’re not as awful as everyone said you were.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” I told her, then shivered. “I think the ponies are okay. Let’s see if we can get some sleep.”
As I snuggled back down into my sleeping bag, I started to wonder if things might have been different. Only a few days ago, leaving had seemed inevitable. I hadn’t fought the decision, because apart from my ponies, there was nothing much here to leave behind. And I knew that Dad would follow us if we left. I was sure of it. It might take him a while, but he’d do it. He wouldn’t let Mum leave him behind.
But I was feeling even less sure that I wanted to go. Maybe there was something left worth staying for, after all.
The rest of the night was uneventful, and Mum arrived the following morning to watch the Pony Grand Prix. She didn’t turn up until the last minute, and I thought she’d forgotten until I saw her walk up to where Dad was holding Skip while I worked Buck in. She stopped on the other side of Skip, putting him between herself and my father, and I wondered when they’d fallen so out of love with each other. Dad had his faults, but so did Mum. Nobody was perfect, and I didn’t want my family to break apart.
They were all I had.
Buck jumped a tidy clear round, and I gave him a big pat as we trotted back towards the gate. Katy was just coming in on Molly, and she put her reins in one hand and held out the other to me, bunched into a fist with her knuckles pointing forward. Grinning, I bumped fists with her as we passed, and Katy made a fake explosion noise, splaying her fingers out as she pulled her hand back. The bell rang and she squeezed Molly into a canter, heading down to the start as I rode out of the ring, feeling as happy as I’d ever been.
For years, how well my ponies performed had been the most important thing at any show. My parents had discouraged me from socialising too much with the other riders, because they thought it would distract me from focusing on winning. And when I’d tried anyway and been rejected, they’d persuaded me that it was because the other riders were just jealous of my success, and resented me for being a better rider than them. I’d believed them, because what child doesn’t believe their parents?
They were standing at the gate, ready to congratulate me when I came out of the ring, but suddenly looking at them made me angry. Why had they made it so hard for me? Why hadn’t they let me make friends? Why did it have to matter so much to them whether or not I won? I’d been to hundreds of shows, won thousands of ribbons, jumped countless clear rounds. But I’d never come out of the ring on as much of a high as I had just now, because today, for the first time, it hadn’t felt as though it was me against the world anymore. And if I didn’t win, I knew that it wouldn’t really matter to me. It might still matter to my parents, but that was their problem.
Not mine.
I rode Buck reluctantly towards th
em, only listening with half an ear to the gushing approval that always greeted me after a clear round. At least they were consistent in that way. I swapped onto Skip as AJ appeared to take Buck for a walk to cool him out, leaving my parents standing awkwardly side-by-side next to the ring. Deb was at the gate, looking nervous as she watched her daughter ride, and I followed Katy’s progress around the course as I swung my leg forward and tightened Skip’s girth.
Our conversation last night had changed something between us, and today Katy and I were getting along better than I’d ever have believed possible. We’d tacked up together, walked the course together, discussed strategies and warmed-up together. And when she rode through the flags with a wide smile, I was glad to know that we were going to be in the jump-off together.
Skip went into the ring with his usual quiet confidence, and I gave him a good ride until we got to the double. It was entirely my fault. I’d ridden too quietly out of the corner, and despite Skip’s best efforts, he’d taken the back rail of the out. I apologised to him immediately, and he jumped very carefully over the remaining fences to finish with only the four faults. Skip took his job seriously, but once he was out of the ring, he wasn’t bothered by what had happened. He put it in the past, and thought only about being untacked and having a feed and going home.
I wished my life were that simple.
My parents came towards me as I rode out, and I turned away from them. I knew what I’d done wrong, and I didn’t need to hear about it. Instead, I wheeled Skip around and went to find AJ. She was on the other side of the warm-up area, leaning back against Buck’s saddle and chatting to Katy, who was still on Molly’s back, her feet dangling from the stirrups. They both looked relaxed and happy, and they both smiled at me as I approached.
Then Katy nodded at something over my head, and I turned to see Hayley’s sister Tess cantering down to the practice fence. We could all tell that Tess didn’t want to be there, and as Misty threw in a buck three strides out from the jump, Tess pulled him off to the side. I cringed, and looked away as Hayley started yelling. But Katy’s attention was rapt, and everyone else’s heads started to swivel as Tess flung herself out of Misty’s saddle and threw his reins at her sister. Hayley was still shouting as she reached for Misty’s reins, but she was too slow. The grey pony spun on his hocks and took off, heading out of the practice area and bolting towards the yards. Hayley ran after him as Tess walked off in the other direction, her head bowed.
“Good for her,” AJ said. “I’ve been waiting for her to have the guts to do that.”
“Haven’t we all.”
I could see my parents approaching, so I turned to Katy. “Are you going to go inside or outside the double in the jump off?”
She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. “To get to the wall? Inside. I think. I’ll see how we land off the planks.”
I nodded, breaking into another smile. “Same.”
We both attempted it, and we both failed. Buck had the rail off the vertical because I cut the corner too much into it, while Molly nailed that fence but got deep at the planks and had the top one down. Katy finished fourth, and I was fifth.
Fifth place. Not normally considered anything to write home about, but when we cantered our lap of honour right behind Katy, with the orange ribbon glowing against Buck’s dark neck and AJ cheering us on from the sidelines, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.
I was stowing the last of our gear into the side locker of our truck when I heard someone say my name, and turned around to come face-to-face with Tessa Maxwell.
“Can I talk to you?” She looked nervous, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as she spoke.
“What about?”
Katy came around the side of her truck and stopped when she saw Tess, then walked closer to me. I felt immeasurably better to know that I had someone else on my side.
“I’m sorry.”
Katy and I frowned at each other, then moved in closer to Tess. She took a step back, then stood her ground.
“Sorry for what?” I asked, wondering if we’d been wrong. Had it been Tess all along? But what possible reason would she have for sabotaging me?
“For…” She didn’t want to say it out loud, so Katy said it for her.
“For what Hayley did.” She, at least, was convinced that it was the older sister at fault, and when Tess nodded, I felt strangely relieved. I already knew that Hayley hated me. That wasn’t a surprise. Neither was the admission of her guilt.
“So it was her.”
Tess shrugged. “I think so. I don’t know for sure.” But we could see in her eyes that she did. “Please don’t tell anyone.”
“Um, you’re dreaming,” Katy scoffed. “We’re not letting her get away with that!”
“She was just trying to scare you. She would never have done anything to really hurt your ponies.”
I thought about pointing out the broken glass, but decided not to mention it. Maybe that part, at least, had been an accident. We would probably never know.
“Was it you that we saw last night?” I asked, and Tess flushed red.
“Yes. I was just making sure. I woke up and she wasn’t in the truck, and I didn’t know where she’d gone. I just wanted to check, that’s all.”
Katy and I looked at each other, then I turned back to Tess. “Do you think she’s got it out of her system?”
Tess shrugged again. “I don’t know. But I won’t be riding Misty again, so she shouldn’t have any reason to. But I’ll keep an eye on her. And I’ve told my parents, even though they don’t believe me.”
“Of course they don’t.” I looked at Tess’ anxious eyes as they flickered between me and Katy. She seemed lonely, another outsider on the fringe of a show scene that she didn’t really want any part of. I wondered what her life was like, and whether Hayley was as awful at home as she was at shows. I felt a bit sorry for Tess, despite her attempt to cover up for her sister’s misdemeanours.
But then, I’d honestly been able to say I had no idea what Pete was doing to Marley’s pony. But what if I had? Would I have spoken up, or just tried to cover his tracks? I’d have tried to talk him out of it, I decided, then wondered if Tess had attempted the same thing.
“You can tell Hayley that we’re onto her,” Katy said decisively. “And that she’d better watch her back if she tries anything again.”
Tess nodded, took another step backwards and half-tripped on a discarded saddle blanket lying next to Katy’s truck. She recovered her footing, blushing violently, then turned and scurried away like a scared rabbit.
Katy looked at me triumphantly. “Well, now we know.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t feel much better, although it hardly mattered. I was leaving anyway. I had to keep reminding myself of that.
For her part, Katy seemed to have forgotten that detail entirely. “And it sounds like Misty’s going on the market, so if you change your mind about wanting another Grand Prix pony, you should totally buy him,” she said with a wicked smile. “Can’t say he wouldn’t be enough of a challenge, and imagine the look on Hayley’s face!”
CHAPTER TEN
The night before our trip to South Africa was a full moon. It stared through the window at me as I sat at my desk and flicked through Facebook. I had homework to do, but there wasn’t any point. I scrolled through my news feed, then clicked on a picture that Katy had just posted. Deb had taken it right after the Grand Prix last weekend, of me and Katy on our ponies with our ribbons. AJ was standing between us, and we were all smiling. There were several comments posted below it, but I didn’t click on those. I didn’t need to see them.
Instead I clicked on Katy’s name, and started looking through her photo albums. There were ponies I recognised, and ones that I didn’t, that she’d owned before I knew her. I clicked into Forbes’ album, and looked at the pictures of him competing, and schooling at home, and being ridden on the beach, and up through the hills. Pictures of Katy riding him bareback, and jumping homemade cros
s country fences. He looked happy, and I was glad for him.
I went back, scrolled down, clicked on another album of Katy’s younger days. There were photos of her in Pony Club uniform, competing in mounted games and eventing, at Pony Club camp with her face painted, taking part in fancy dress competitions. Riding double and triple, being bucked off, jumping without a saddle or bridle, standing up on her pony’s back, swimming at the beach. Always with a wide grin on her face.
I’d missed out on all that. I started out in the show ring, first on the lead rein and progressing through the levels before I started jumping. I’d enjoyed it, I think. I’d liked the big sashes we won, the garlands and rugs and trophies. But it was always about winning. I’d never done Pony Club, or mounted games, or any of those things. I’d never ridden just for fun.
I still hadn’t.
I stood up and shut my laptop, then went outside. The boys were in their paddock, grazing quietly. I grabbed a halter from the barn and went over to Buck, calling softly to him. He looked up and watched me approach, and I rubbed his forehead when I got to his side. Slipped the halter on. Unbuckled his cover. Knotted the lead rope around to the other side of the halter, and attempted to vault onto his broad back. But I had no spring in my legs, and I didn’t get anywhere close. Buck shifted sideways, turning his head to look at me as though wondering if I’d gone mad. I tried again, failed, and led him out of the gate and over to the mounting block.
Once on his back, I smoothed my hand down his neck. His round sides were warm and soft against my bare legs, and I clicked my tongue and directed him up the hill away from the house.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d ridden bareback. And I’d never ridden in the moonlight before, or in just a halter. But I trusted Buck. And if I had to go, and leave all this behind, I wanted to make some memories first. Better memories. I rode through the gate and into the hill paddock, then wrapped my legs around Buck’s sides and nudged him forward. He trotted a few strides, and I bumped ungracefully, feeling like a beginner again. I grabbed at his mane – the reason I’d chosen him instead of Skip – and he shifted into a smooth canter. I relaxed into his movement, gripping with my legs as he cantered on up the gradual slope, then let go of the rope reins and held my arms out to the side. The gentle night breeze pushed my hair back and it flew out behind me as I urged Buck on, faster, faster and faster still. He sped up, ears pricked, enjoying this night ride as much as I was.