by Tammy Walsh
The room outside was dark and I couldn’t see much beyond the pile of a dozen or so other pods across the room.
Sar had instructed Computer to blast me into space.
If I wanted to avoid that outcome, I needed to escape.
I pressed my hands against the pod ceiling and braced the weight with my arms.
My muscles shook under the pressure and my face blossomed red.
The shield didn’t move so much as an inch.
Panting from the exertion, I rushed through the memories I’d accessed earlier.
“There’s a way out of here,” I said out loud. “There’s always a way. It’s just a matter of calming your mind and thinking of it…”
The trouble was, I’d only gone through a fraction of the total number of memories.
There were tons I still hadn’t seen.
Could the answer to my problem be among them?
Wait.
I was still onboard the ship.
My ship.
I had access to the computer system before.
Why wouldn’t I now?
“Computer?” I said.
“I’m here, Captain.”
I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Get me out of this pod,” I said.
“Order confirmed.”
The ceiling disappeared and I hastily climbed from the pod in case I got locked inside it again.
I peered at my surroundings and tried to figure out where I was.
“Computer, where am I?”
“You are in the cargo hold, sir.”
“What am I doing in here?”
“After the Captain issued the order to have you ejected into space, the Shadow Defense Proxy was triggered.”
“The Shadow Defense Proxy? What’s that?”
“In case of a Shadow assuming command of the ship, all options to kill one or either of the captains is disabled. It is impossible for me to harm, or through omission of action, harm a M’rora. Once the order was issued, I stored you here and ejected an empty pod into space.”
“You don’t know which one is the real captain?” I said, incredulous that Computer couldn’t tell us apart.
“That is correct, sir. I follow both captains’ orders because they are both, in a sense, you.”
“What? No, we’re not! We’re completely different—”
“You are identical in every way and there is simply no way for me to ascertain which one is the M’rora, which one the Shadow.”
“Where is the other captain now?”
“He’s no longer on board.”
“So where is he?”
“In the Shadow Citadel with the human female.”
The blood drained from my face.
“Isabella? He took her with him?”
“It is his mission, sir.”
“Shouldn’t that have clued you into the fact he is the Shadow and not me?” I snapped.
“You might be on an undercover mission. There is simply no way for me to know with my current scanners. Perhaps if I received the most recent update—”
This is just getting better and better…
“How long have they been gone?” I said.
“One hour and six minutes.”
That was good.
It was unlikely Isabella would have taken part in the ceremony yet.
My stomach twisted.
Just the thought of her being subjected to such a disgusting event…
I shuddered and focused on the task at hand.
“Where are we now?”
“In the engineering sector. According to my scans, I am scheduled to be turned into a Shadow vessel.”
That made sense.
The Shadow wouldn’t want a M’rora ship in their fleet any more than we would want a Shadow one in ours.
“Take us back to the Shadow Citadel,” I ordered.
“Doing so might garner a great deal of suspicion from the Shadow engineers.”
“Why?”
“Because then they would know someone was on board—likely the M’rora captain—and would blast this ship from the sky. Would you like to continue with your order?”
“No,” I growled. “Then what do you suggest I do?”
“Exit the ship at the nearest possible opportunity and commandeer one of the Shadow vessels.”
“But that would mean they will turn you into a Shadow ship.”
“I am not alive. My computing system is identical to every other ship in the fleet. I cannot die, and helping you with your mission of rescuing your mate is the highest achievement an artificial being can achieve.”
Was it strange I felt oddly moved by his willingness to sacrifice himself for the greater good?
I placed a hand on the wall.
Although I hadn’t spent much time with the ship in my own time, we had been through many events together in the past.
The journey across the galaxy in search of Isabella…
The dogfight in the storm…
Being blasted and shot out of the sky…
And crashlanding on this alien world…
Then it saved my life and was willing to pay the ultimate price to help me.
“Thank you,” I said.
“No thanks are required, Captain. I have been programmed to aid you.”
“Still.”
I took a moment to send my thanks and then focused on the mission at hand.
“What’s the best way for me to get off this ship?”
“According to my scanners, we are approaching the main garage now. Within moments, they will disable my interface and replace it with their own. They will run scans and, if you are discovered, will send a force to take you out.”
“Do I have time to escape before that happens?”
“Negative. But if you climb back in the pod, I will eject you at the most opportune moment for them not to notice you.”
Get back in the pod…
It yawned wide like an open casket.
But I had trusted the ship this far, I might as well trust it a little longer.
With the short timeframe, it wasn’t like I had much choice.
“The engineers are accessing my systems now,” Computer said. “I suggest you hurry.”
I ground my teeth and hopped inside the pod.
The instant I was inside, the force shield snapped into place and locked me in.
The pod shifted to one side and a hatch door opened in the wall.
“Thanks for your help, Computer,” I said.
“I exist to serve, Captain.”
The lights flickered and the pod suddenly shot forward, zipping through the hole.
In an instant, my stomach lurched like I was crashing into an alien planet again.
I braced the walls of my miniature prison with my arms and legs as the pod struck something hard, rolled end over end, and only came to a stop when it slammed into a wall.
The pod’s lights flickered and went off.
I placed a hand on the pod and thanked the ship once more.
I looked up to see the dented and damaged M’rora ship enter the large factory and disappear from view.
I climbed from the pod and was relieved when no one came to investigate what’d happened.
I took off down the street and merged with the crowd.
They were all heading to the Shadow Citadel.
Isabella
I couldn’t recall a time I’d ever been this numb.
Even when my best friend disappeared I never felt this low.
I grew up with her and knew I would never forget her, but it wasn’t the same as losing my soulmate.
The heavy boots thudded in the hallway outside as they unlocked the neighboring cells and dragged the occupants out.
The prisoners screamed and struggled but they could not escape.
Strangely, their cries did not affect me.
I was dead to the world and there was no reaching me now.
I didn’t feel sorry for myself.
I only felt…
Numb.
It was the only way I could describe how I felt at that moment.
Numb to the world, numb to the pain.
Numb to my core.
I knew the guards would soon come for me.
There wouldn’t be anything I could do to stop them dragging me kicking and screaming from this cell and out to wherever they took me next.
So, I wouldn’t fight.
I wouldn’t put up any resistance.
I was beyond caring.
They might fuck me, one after the other, but they would be fucking a corpse.
I was already dead on the inside, so what did it matter?
There’s only so much loss you can suffer in life before nothing remains.
I had opened myself up to love and was willing to take the risk it might actually work this time.
And once again, my hopes had been dashed against the rocks and I was running on empty.
It’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
Ha.
What a joke.
Whatever asshole had said that had no idea what he was talking about.
I regretted ever meeting Clint, or Ras, or whatever his real name was.
I regretted falling head over heels in love with him.
I regretted being in a relationship with him and wished I’d never seen his ship crashland in Phoenix Lake.
I regretted…
I regretted…
The tears streamed down my cheeks.
Just when I thought all the hope had been taken from me, here was a fresh batch, served cold.
The truth was, as much as I was hurting, I didn’t regret meeting him.
And I didn’t regret falling in love with him.
I only regretted losing him.
I regretted all the moments we would miss together, those we were supposed to share.
I would never see them.
“I miss you so much,” I muttered so softly it barely even registered as a whisper.
He was gone and I was going to have to get used to that fact.
I was alone, just as I was meant to be.
I sniffed as I wiped a hand over my face.
He was gone and I was all that was left of our time together.
I braced myself on the wall and struggled up onto my feet.
It wasn’t only my heart that felt numb.
So did my legs!
They were alive with pins and needles.
If I was going to survive, I was going to need to be a whole lot tougher than this.
Ras wouldn’t want me to be like this, a broken mess on the floor.
He would want me ready and raring to go, fighting every moment.
I couldn’t bring myself to hope I might get out of there, but I could at least act like this wasn’t the end of the world.
And how exactly wasn’t it the end of the world when it came to being fucked mercilessly by an army of cocks?
I ignored the question.
The door at the end of the hall clanged—the guards were always a little overzealous when they threw it open.
They marched down the hall in my direction.
Their keys jangled as they approached.
For the first time since I came to this place, I paid attention to the noises around me, to the heavy thumping footsteps of their boots and the shuffling of feet in the adjacent cells and the soft whimpers of the damned.
The boots stopped right outside the cell.
My cell.
I turned to face them, hands by my side and feeling every bit like a gunslinger.
The door opened and a huge figure stood silhouetted by the harsh overhead lights.
He was big.
Too big.
No way I was going to fight him off or sweep around him and bolt my way to freedom.
I hung my head and adopted the temperament of someone whose spirit was beaten which, until a moment ago, was true.
I stared at an indiscriminate section of the flagstone floor and waited as the figure approached.
I clenched my right fist, partially hidden behind my back.
I would strike out with it and aim for that collection of marbles right between his legs.
I didn’t care how big a guy was, a strike like that would make anyone go cross-eyed and limp.
He stopped in front of me, staring openly like I was a piece of meat.
Maybe that was what I’d become in this place.
Something for them to use and enjoy however they saw fit.
I kept my eyes on the floor.
The muscles in my arm tightened, preparing to release and strike at the first sign of distraction or weakness.
He leaned forward and reached out a hand.
“Did they hurt—?” he said.
But before he could grab my shoulder, I released my fist and swung directly for his crown jewels.
His other hand moved so fast it wasn’t even a blur.
One moment it was at his side, the next it caught my fist in midair.
Momentarily surprised my attack had failed, I flew out with my other fist for the same target…
But that was caught too.
Shit!
My feet, then…
I shuffled to get into a good striking position when the figure spoke again:
“Always a scrapper.”
Huh?
My balancing leg crumpled beneath me.
He held my arms by my sides, preventing me from collapsing.
I replayed his voice over in my mind, synced it with the memories I shared with him, and still a part of me refused to believe what I’d just heard.
From who I thought I’d heard it from.
It can’t be…
I slowly raised my head.
My eyes met his and I blinked, hesitating a moment before I accepted what I was seeing.
I instantly melted beneath his golden iris embrace.
It was him.
It was Ras.
Clint!
He no longer wore the human disguise he’d maintained the entire time I’d known him.
But I’d seen what he looked like in reality when Sar, his Shadow, revealed his true self to me.
This was the real Ras, and for that reason, he was the most handsome alien I had ever laid eyes on.
His disguise wasn’t entirely fake.
It drew on elements of his appearance that made it uniquely him.
Had I lost my mind?
Had I finally lost it completely?
I’d hit rock bottom and it was a possibility.
It wasn’t every day you lost your fated mate.
I could tell it was him by the kindness in his eyes, the same look I’d fallen for since the first time I saw him.
The kindness was still there.
There was no way the creature could have faked it.
He didn’t know what kindness was or had any need or inclination to try to fool me.
It was him.
And even if it wasn’t, and I truly had lost my mind and this was the only way for us to be together, then so be it.
I was happy in insanity.
The lone ranger had returned, but I couldn’t understand how.
Tears were in my eyes and I couldn’t prevent them from falling.
“I thought… I thought… I saw the explosion…”
“Computer never ejected my pod,” he said simply.
“He didn’t?”
Ras shook his head.
I leaned forward to wrap my arms around him but he still held my arms restrained in the air.
“The guards are watching,” he said, nodding over his shoulder. “We can’t show them we know each other.”
I nodded and leaned back.
I’d seen the strength he was capable of.
If anyone could spring me from this place, it was him.
“Follow me,” he said.
He led me toward the exit.
Ho
pe had found a new home.
Ras
I took Isabella by the hand and led her from her cell.
This was the easy part, I knew.
What came next, in confronting the prison guards, was the hard part.
I found no difficulty in gaining entrance into the Citadel.
There were no checks or gateways I had to pass through—the same way there weren’t any inside our Citadel back on the M’rora homeworld.
That had been one of the biggest shocks from recovering my memories:
The Shadow empire was a mirror reflection of the M’rora empire.
Over the years, changes developed but not enough to make the Citadel unrecognizable.
We were unique in the galaxy for being the only species to split at birth—the darkness transferring to the Shadow, the light to the M’rora.
Every M’rora was born a twin, each existing in the same galaxy but on adjacent planes.
These days, we occupied a thinly veiled truce, though it was an uneasy one.
When each M’rora came of age, we learned the identity of our fated mates.
The Shadow learned at the same time, and all treaties and peace deals were suspended for those five days where we battled to find our mate first and bring them back to our respective homeworlds to cement the relationship with a traditional ceremony.
The M’rora do not take what is not willingly given, and so we do not marry our fated mates if they don’t wish it.
The Shadow care nothing for their mate’s choices and claim them in an orgy ceremony for them to become breeders.
They’re passed from one male Shadow to another, who fills them with seed in the hope of impregnating them with the next generation of Shadow.
Once they give birth, they’re handed to the males once more and the cycle repeats itself for the life of the breeder, without end.
Just thinking about it sent a shudder through me.
As I wound through the intricate hallways of the Shadow Citadel, I could hear the “cerebration” taking place in the main hall.
That was where, back in the M’rora Citadel, the weddings took place.
It was a holy place with giant festivities marrying thousands, sometimes millions, of M’rora to their fated mates.
Every year it was a celebration and I looked on in wonder as the memories played out before me, from my childhood, all the way up to the modern-day, where I would watch the marriages with awe and hope I would bring my fated mate to that holy spot one day and join in the festivities.