by Aidèe Jaimes
My limbs begin to shake as everything becomes muted, the world fading into the background, sounds drowned out by the loud beating of my heart in my ears. Dear lord, I’m going to have a heart attack! And vomit. One of the two for sure.
“Where are you goin’, love? You look stunning!” Mrs. Jensen drawls, and she thankfully takes me into an embrace, braking me free of Bo’s gaze.
“Thank you, Mrs. Jensen. Jess and I are headed out on a girl’s night.”
“My goodness, well you are just a tremblin’, sugar. You must be freezing! Put that sweater on!” she suggests, grabbing the thing and attempting to drape it over my shoulders.
Freezing? No, I wasn’t freezing. If anything, I felt like I was burning up from the inside out.
Completely unaware of Bo’s and mine inner battles, his mother kept on. “Is Owen at home with my baby girl?”
“No, I have a sitter. He’s in Raleigh for the night,” I say. At the mention of Owen, I glance wearily at Bo, and regret it almost instantly.
He looks pissed. “Can I talk with you? In private,” he tells me.
“Why, Boey, what can you possib…” Lydia isn’t allowed to finish.
Not caring about appearances, Bo grabs me by the hand and pulls me into the house.
“Bo! What are you doing? Do you know what people are going to say!” I screech all the way to the downstairs guestroom.
“Bo!” Mrs. Jensen calls, following us into the house, but he closes and locks the door before she can come into the room.
Ignoring the banging on the door, he turns to me, fuming. “You can’t wear that, I... It’s too much.”
“What?” I ask confused, holding the fabric of the décolletage up higher. “No, this is just a dress.”
Then just as suddenly as his anger sparked, he looks confused, wiping at his face and pacing in front of me. “Please don’t wear it.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I feel sexy. Don’t you think I look pretty?” Yes, that last one I asked to tease him. I recognize it for what it is. Though this wasn’t meant for him, now that he’s in front of me, I want him to like it.
He answers too honestly perhaps, and certainly too close as he stands so near his breath fans my hair and his heat burns me. “Cris, you look more than pretty in that. You look so sexy I can feel my blood run white hot. And your skin,” he whispers, running the tips of his fingers over my back, up my shoulder and neck, and down between my breasts. My nipples harden to such hard points that my sticky bra pads lose their suction and I can feel the thing drop to my waist with a pop-pop, first one side, then the other.
When he places his hand on my chest, I know he can feel my wildly beating heart, my panting.
“Bo.” It’s a plea for him to stop, or to start. I don’t know.
He kisses me then, his mouth hard on mine, taking everything from me, completely obliterating the wall I’d built to keep my feelings for him suppressed. It all explodes free, and I lose any sense of control I may have had.
I open myself to him, letting him do what he will. We fall onto the bed, with me writhing beneath him, biting, clawing at him.
The banging on the door has stopped, not that it would have mattered. There is no stopping this now.
Bo’s hand reaches behind my neck and I hear the chain give a second before the halter falls away from me, exposing my breasts to him. He takes them into his mouth and bites at the crests. My legs tighten around him even as my fingers pull at his hair and keep him there, suckling.
“Fuck, Cris, I need you.”
I need him, too. Desperately, I bring his mouth to mine and help him undo his belt and yank his shorts off. His hands push my dress up and then the little scrap of cloth that covers my entrance is pulled aside, and he’s inside me in one stroke.
His intake of breath matches my own as he begins to thrust, and I’m lost in him again.
He fills me so deeply that every cell in my body feels the impact, and in this moment, I know there is nothing better than him.
Like an animal he fucks me, nothing tame or gentle. And when he feels me come, it pushes him into his own orgasm and he pours himself into me.
When it’s done, we both lay in a sweaty mess. I look up into his beautiful blue green eyes, and he bears his soul to me. He’s missed me as much as I have him, only he hasn’t been afraid to say it.
“Please, Cris we need to talk,” he says.
I don’t reply. I’m still struggling to breathe and I can feel my eyes glisten. This is too much. He’s too much. He takes too much from me and still I want to give him more. It terrifies me.
So, I shut him out and push against him until he rolls off. As fast as I can, I pick up my little pasty bra and pull my dress up to cover myself. Before he has a chance to say anything else, I run out the door like the devil is at my heels.
26
I run as fast as my high heels will carry me, not looking back once. My heart is pounding hard in my chest as I fly through the front door and shut it hard behind me.
“Mrs. Roberts, are you all right?” Katie asks when I pass her and Mia sitting on the living room floor.
“Yeah, I… uh, spilled something on my dress.” Like semen. Shit!
“Momma!” Mia calls out to me.
“I’ll be back down in a sec, baby!” I yell as I fly up the stairs.
All the way to my room I stumble, pulling at the straps, yanking off that red thing that burns me now. I throw it in the hamper and cover it quickly with a towel, then stand at the far end of the room and stare at it as though it would come alive any moment and give all of my dirty secrets away.
He’s all over me, his scent, his sweat, his heat. Even as I shower in a rush, I feel like I can’t get him off me. Images of what we just did slam into me, one after the other. His kiss, passionate and angry, his tongue demanding. His hands in my hair, pulling at the neck of the dress to expose my breasts to him, his mouth all over them.
My panties shoved to the side as he slides his thickness into me. I couldn’t breathe then from the feeling of him inside, and it’s almost impossible to breathe now thinking of it.
I scrub at my skin harder, knowing that even if I bleed I can’t undo this sin. I can’t get him off me, because he’s not on me. He’s inside, in every part of my being.
As hard as I may have tried to forget, he’s never left. My feelings for him never left, they were always there, waiting for the right moment to take me over.
What. Have. I. Done.
My phone starts to buzz out of control. I hurry out and check my messages. Jess. She’s sent me about a hundred texts, and left just as many voicemails.
-Where the heck are you? You were supposed to be here 30 minutes ago.
-Are we still going?
-Hello?
-I’m coming to your house.
-I’m at your house.
-I’m watching you read my message.
That last one startles me and I drop the phone.
“Creep,” I say, even though I’m alone in the bathroom.
-Gotcha! But really, I’m outside your bathroom door.
“Sorry, Jess. I’ll be right out!” I yell through the door.
“All right, but you’d better have a good explanation!” she yells back. “Like you died in a car crash or something.”
I grab the first thing I see, a gray satin short sleeve and black slacks, then throw on my usual black wedges. After quickly finger combing my wet hair, I put on some mascara, completely foregoing everything else. No more red lipstick for this girl!
Jess nearly falls in when I open the bathroom door, and her big cheesy smile slowly fades as she takes me in. “Where’s my dress?”
“I changed my mind,” I say pushing past her. “This is going to have to do.”
“No, yeah, you look great. Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” She follows after me, but I stop and groan when I really look at her. She looks amazing, her blonde, freshly bobbed hair straightened. With her eyes smoky, her lips perfe
ctly glossed, and that tight black mini dress that shows off her feminine, yet athletic physique, she’s stunning. And me? Not so much.
She’d wanted to go “killer hot,” as she put it. It wasn’t a lie when I said I had nothing of my own that matched her requirements, thus my sad attire now.
Damn it, I shouldn’t have borrowed that dress. Something told me not to wear it, but I didn’t listen to my gut. Never in a million years would I have imagined what happened. Damn those red dresses! Maybe I really should stay away from the color. Damn, damn, damn!
“It’s a long story, Jess. I’ll tell you over dinner.”
“Ok, well, the Uber has been out there for like twenty minutes.”
“It’s HUber,” I say. “He’s always there.”
Hubert, which we nicknamed HUber, is a young man who moved in down the street. He goes to school during the day and does Uber in the evenings. Mostly I think he sticks to giving the neighbors rides.
“Yes, but I feel bad he’s been waiting, so let’s get.”
La Casa is a very upscale Mexican restaurant in downtown Charlotte that had been intended to be casual and relaxed as their menu reflected. But because of the authentic décor, standout recipes, and low lighting, it became more of a formal evening experience.
It is actually kind of strange to see everyone dressed so nice, in suits and ties and sexy dresses, all the while eating finger foods and burritos.
Though we missed our reservation thanks to me, a table is freed after only ten minutes sitting standby. Jess orders all of her favorites as always, and begins shoving them in her face as soon as they come. The way she’s eating one would think she was starved, but the truth is that she has never denied herself a food she craves.
She is fascinating to me. I stare at her sitting there, happily eating away, not a care in the world. At least it seems to me that way.
When she finally catches me looking, she smiles and slurps in a bit of cheese, winking as she does.
“How can you eat so much without gaining weight?” I ask her.
“Meh, genes I guess,” she answers nonchalant.
I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Yeah,” I say and take a tiny sip of my expensive margarita. Dear lord, I never do well with tequila! “Should have ordered piña colada.”
She takes a nacho and starts piling steak and beans onto it. “So, what’s up with you? I thought we were supposed to look smokin’ hot tonight. Not that you don’t, you’re always gorgeous. Was the dress too long?”
“Yeah, it was a little long, but it fit nice otherwise. So, remember the red dress I bought a while back?”
“The one you supposedly never wear cause it’s red, even though you agreed to wear mine? Is that why you’re not wearing it?”
“Not really. What I didn’t tell you was that I did wear it. Once. The night Bo and I slept together the first time.” I had told her almost everything, so she at least knew that I’d been with him more than once. But I had left out some of the details, like the fact that I’d never washed the dress, instead sealed it in a Ziploc bag and put it high in the linen closet where Owen never dares to go.
“Okay. So, what does that have to do with anything?”
“Well, when I started walking to your house I kind of ran into Mrs. Jensen and him. I was wearing your dress. I think maybe it reminded him too much of our first time.” I know it did me. That was part of the problem with wearing it.
“And?” She motions me with her free hand to continue.
“He asked me to take it off.”
“What?” she frowns and puts the entire loaded chip into her mouth. “So vut did ju zoo?” sounds like she says around her food.
I chew on my lip before I say, “I fucked him.”
Small chunks of nacho spray at me, and I jump out of my chair, wiping myself. “What the?”
Jess’ face looks like it’s frozen into an about-to-vomit look. She begins to heave without really making a sound, and I swear she’s turning blue right before my eyes.
For a horrifying moment, she looks like something out of the Exorcist and it scares the shit out of me. Then, when I realize this has nothing to do with a spook, I spring to action. “Jess, what’s wrong?” I practically scream, pounding on her back. “Are you choking!”
Her eyes water and she shuts them tight as she slaps her hands against the table, knocking her nachos onto the floor.
“Someone, help!” I position myself behind her, willing to do the Heimlich maneuver even though I never learned, but I had to do something!
“Move lady,” a young kid tells me, couldn’t be more than fourteen. He radiates so much authority I move aside without any argument. In one quick move, he puts his arms around her and pulls.
Next thing I know Jess is bent over the table, coughing, spit coming down in thick rivulets from her mouth. She takes deep breaths and nods. “Thanks, kid,” she says in a broken gravelly voice.
“No problem. My little sister choked once and my dad made sure we all knew what to do in case it ever happened again. Glad I could be of service,” he said with a slight bow and left us to stare after him.
“Wow, he’s gonna have some lady luck when he grows chest hair,” I say admiringly.
Jess turns to me, and I shrink back from the glare. “I think I’m ready to go home.”
“Yeah, I figured.”
I feel so bad for her. In one split second she went from hot and perky, to looking rough and angry. Black streaks her face from where the tears had run down, and bits of half chewed nacho cover her breasts.
She walks out leaning on our waiter, and I pay our bill, calling HUber as I head to the door. When I step out into the cool night I spot Jess sitting sadly on a bench.
Sitting next to her, I rub her back. “I am so sorry.”
“Yeah, well. What can you do? I just wasn’t expecting that you fucked Bo. In my dress.”
“Believe me, I wasn’t expecting to do it. It just happened.”
“I don’t want that dress back, by the way. It’s tainted!” she shudders overdramatically.
I cover my face with my hands. “I know! I am so sorry, Jess.”
“How does this just happen? And like, five minutes after you tell me you’re on your way?” she asks around a cough. She’s sounding much better, but there’s still a roughness to her voice that makes me want to clear my own throat.
“Well, like I said, I ran into them outside. I don’t know, Jess, it was like something crazy came over him, like an enraged bull when he sees the red cape of the matador.” I pause there, taking in my own perfect analogy. “Anyway, he looked hurt, pissed, desperate, all at the same time. Then he dragged me into the house… Shit what Mrs. Jensen must be thinking. She banged on the door almost the entire time!”
Jess visibly cringes for me. “Man, that makes my choking at a fancy restaurant seem like a standing ovation. She probably thinks you’re a slut.”
“Jess!”
“What! I didn’t say I think that. But you know she’s probably wondering what kind of woman comes into her house and does that. I mean, Kev and I don’t fuck at our parents’ house, and we’re married!”
I shake and nod my head at the same time, because what she’s saying is true, but every bit of me wants to deny it.
“Well, as you can imagine, the dress was ruined. I should never have worn it in the first place. Now look what I’ve done, exactly what I hated Owen for. Again!”
“So…” she gives me a sideways glance and a sassy grin. “How was it?”
She makes me chuckle against my will and I sit back against the wooden planks. “There are no words, sweet Barbie. He touched me so deep I don’t know if I can ever get him out.”
“He’s that big, eh?”
I slap her on the arm. “Stop it! You know what I mean. Although, I won’t lie. He is the biggest I’ve had.”
“Damn good! It better be worth it, because you know this is the beginning of the end,” she says, her words so serious
they scare me. “You are going to tell Owen, aren’t you?”
I frown, because the thought of keeping this to myself had crossed my mind. “Yes. I just don’t know how. What have I done, Jess?”
She shakes her head in sympathy. “I’m here for you. Always, girl.”
“I know.” I lean my head against her shoulder and close my eyes.
The beginning of the end.
27
Even though we’d planned on a late night out, it wasn’t much past eight-thirty before we got home. HUber drops Jess off first, and she gives me a weary smile when she climbs out of the Prius.
“See you tomorrow?” she asks. “Kev’s got to work so we’ll be home all day.”
“Yeah, sure. Maybe we can take the kids to the park or something.”
With that she closes the door, and I’m dropped off only a few seconds later. I thank HUber for the lift and tip him, making my way up the driveway, past Katie’s old blue Beetle.
She’s in the kitchen tiding up when I walk in.
“Mrs. Roberts, I thought you’d be out till much later,” she says. “I just started the dishes.”
“Oh, don’t worry about that. How did Mia do?”
“Awesome as always.”
After walking Katie out, I walk up to check in on Mia. She’s completely out, sleeping sideways with her head pushed up against the rail and her legs up against the wall. Lifting her, I readjust her body. She makes little annoyed smacks, but doesn’t wake.
I cover her sweaty body, only because I know that she’ll wake up freezing if I don’t, and move her ringlets up away from her face. With my fingertip, I trace her sleep warmed cheek and smile. She looks so sweet when she sleeps, just like her father. And just like him, she can be a real handful while awake.
“Sweet dreams, my love,” I whisper and kiss her forehead, before heading out to my room.
Then I get a text.
Owen: Are you still out?
Guilt crawls into my being, clawing at my insides and shredding my soul. It takes me a long while to build the courage to reply.
Me: Yeah, got home a while ago.