by Megan Sparks
They had both apologized and patched things up but Annie still felt a bit awkward as she watched her mum packing up her things at the hotel. If only Mum didn’t live so far away.
“When will I see you again?” Annie asked.
“Whenever you like, sweetheart.” Mum stopped folding a pair of trousers to stare at Annie. “Seriously. You say the word and your ticket is booked. Even if it’s just for a long weekend. Deal?”
“Yes, thanks.” Annie shifted from one foot to the other. “You know I miss you a lot when you’re not here, don’t you?”
Mum stopped packing to walk around the bed and give Annie a hug. “And I miss you. Everything in the flat reminds me of you. It’s hard sometimes.”
They held each other until Annie pulled away. She could have stayed like that forever, but Mum would be upset if she missed her flight.
“How are you doing for time?” Annie asked.
Mum didn’t even look at the clock on the bedside table. “I’m fine. Here, look through this pile of clothes.” Mum set a large plastic carrier bag on the bed. “I brought a few bits and pieces from London. No pressure. Whatever doesn’t fit or you don’t like, I’ll return.”
“Ta.” Annie looked through the things. They had gone shopping at the mall yesterday, especially for bras and pyjamas, but these were things Mum had brought with her from London. On top were socks and underwear. Of course Mum would remember the essentials. Good thing. Annie could do with some new underwear and the knickers Mum picked out were cute boy shorts. There were also a few jumpers, three tops, a swishy skirt, skinny jeans, a few pairs of tights, and wool-lined slippers. They all fitted and Annie loved everything. Mum had always had great taste in clothes. “I’ll take the lot, if that’s OK.”
“Perfect, I’m glad you like them.” Mum smiled. “Even with you so far away, I like picking things out for you. Makes me feel like I’m still a part of your life.”
Annie looked at her trainers. It wasn’t fair. She shouldn’t have spent half the visit fighting with Mum. “I’m sorry.”
“I know. And I am too. I would have stayed longer, but because it’s not a holiday at home I have to get back to work.”
Annie wanted to ask if Mum would take the train straight to the office when she got in, even though it would be a Sunday, but she didn’t. The last thing she wanted was another argument. “Will you get some sleep on the plane?”
“Unlikely, but that’s just how things go.” Mum zipped up her bag. She squinted at the clock and turned to Annie. “Well that’s me sorted. The airport van won’t pick me up for another hour and a half. How about a run? It’s nice and sunny outside and I fancy a bit of exercise before being cooped up in the plane.”
A workout session with Mum? Why not – Annie was already wearing trainers and a tracksuit. “Yeah, that would be brilliant!”
Mum unzipped her suitcase and pulled out some workout clothes and trainers. Annie wouldn’t be surprised if Mum had picked the hotel just for its twenty-four-hour gym to fit around her itinerary. Mum was ready in a couple of minutes and when they left, her phone stayed on the bedside table.
“Where are we going?” Mum asked as they started jogging. Annie looked around quickly to get herself orientated. The hotel was near the business park, between Rosie Lee’s in the downtown and the roller rink on the outskirts.
“There’s a nice park not too far away. We can run around it and head back?”
“Will it take less than an hour?”
“Fifty minutes tops.”
“Let’s do it.”
Mum set the pace which Annie easily matched. She couldn’t remember the last time they had run together. Usually Mum went to the gym where she could work and run at the same time.
“It’s great being outside instead of multitasking on a treadmill.” Mum must have read Annie’s mind. “Trust me, it’s not easy to send emails while you’re on a machine.”
Annie reached out and gave her mum’s hand a squeeze. “This was a great idea. I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish with all the food I’ve eaten over the past few days.”
Mum let out a sigh; it was a couple of minutes before she spoke again. “I want to apologize again for Thanksgiving.”
“It’s OK—” Annie started but Mum cut her off.
“No, it’s not OK. I acted poorly. I guess I was feeling left out. You and your father obviously have your own lives here and seem to be doing fine without me. I felt like you didn’t need me any more.”
“Of course we need you. Or I do at least.” Annie glanced at Mum as they kept running. Mum had always been the strong, independent one. Annie never imagined her as vulnerable, but that was how she was coming across now.
Mum shook her head as if trying to rid herself of those weak emotions, only to replace them with bitter ones. “Only until your father gets together with that Ritter woman.”
Annie pressed her lips together. Dad didn’t talk about Coach Ritter to her, but she had definitely noticed sparks between them for a while. She didn’t really want to think of anyone else with Dad besides Mum, but he could do much worse than Coach Ritter. Even if she had benched Annie.
“There’s only one Mum, and that’s you.”
“Thanks, sweetheart. It’s just hard for me to accept he’s moving on. One of my girlfriends is trying to convince me to put a dating profile up online, but I can’t. I really can’t. I’m not there yet.” Mum shook her head, sending her short ponytail swinging. “Your dad and I have only just agreed to formally file for divorce while I’ve been here.”
Annie grabbed Mum’s hand again and this time didn’t let go straight away. “When did you stop loving Dad?”
“Oh, Annie. That’s complicated. The short answer is that we’re too different to make things work any more.”
They looked both ways before crossing a busy street and then they were at the park.
“But weren’t you always different?” Annie asked.
“Yes, but I guess it didn’t matter so much at first. Or we chose not to let it matter.”
“Tell me again how you two met.” Annie knew the story, but it had been a long time since she’d heard Mum’s version of it.
Mum was panting a bit now but a small smile crossed her face as she reminisced.
“You know Davy was at uni in London, right? He came over to study for a year. One night, I went to a friend’s party, and there was this long-haired man playing his guitar softly in the corner.”
Annie grinned. “I still can’t believe you fell for a headbanger.”
Mum smiled back, although her smile was a bit sadder. “Trust me, he wasn’t my type, and it was years before he agreed to cut his hair. That night, I went into the room where he was playing and he started singing that he’d like to cook me dinner. I told him to sod off, assuming he was sloshed, which he was, and that he’d forget about me in the morning. But he didn’t. The next day, he rang and asked if I liked duck à l’Orange – in a horrid French accent I might add. I couldn’t say no. It was the best meal I’d ever eaten and by the end of the evening I was completely smitten. Won over by music and food. I’m such a cliché, eh?”
It was pretty much the story Annie knew, but when Dad told it, he’d say he’d fallen in love with the beautiful, long-haired English girl at first sight, and he’d always break into a cringey rendition of the song he sang that night. “And now you hate him.”
Mum stopped running and pushed her glasses up her nose to stare at Annie. “Sweetheart, I could never hate your father. He was the best husband and friend. But eventually music and food wasn’t enough. We changed and we’re better apart now. Surely you must see that.”
“I guess. But it makes me feel split up too that I can’t be with both of you.”
Mum started jogging again. “I know. When I said I wanted a separation, it didn’t even occur to me that he would move back here, and take you with him. I sometimes wonder if I would have suggested it if I had known what would happen.”
Annie didn
’t challenge that. She knew Mum loved her, but she also finally admitted to herself that their divorce was for the best. It was just hard to let go of the past.
“I’m afraid Tyler and I are going to break up. We had a row the other day. We’re cool now, but he said some things that hurt.” Annie kept her eyes on the path but could feel Mum’s stare.
“He’s not pressuring you to do more than you’re ready for, is he?”
Annie shook her head. “Not like that, but he doesn’t like me playing roller derby. He thinks it takes up too much of my time. He says it’s unfeminine and that girls who play are freaks.”
Mum’s stare shifted between Annie, the running path, and back at Annie. It took her a few moments to reply. “You know I’m not a fan of the whole roller derby scene. I’m afraid you’re going to get hurt. But I can see how good it’s been for you. It’s made you more assertive, and I know how much you love it. I wouldn’t take away something that means that much to you.”
Annie released the tension she hadn’t realized she had been holding in since Thanksgiving. “Good, because I would have put up a big fight.”
Mum chuckled, then grew serious again. “What bothers me is Tyler’s attitude. It’s not his place to tell you what to do, especially when it’s something you enjoy and do so well.”
“You think I’m good?”
“Of course. When you like something, you’ve always given it your all. You’re my daughter, after all.”
“Thanks. And you’re right,” Annie said. “I’m not quitting, and Tyler did say he’d go to my next bout.”
“Good. That sounds a bit more like it.”
They turned a corner and Annie caught sight of a familiar shape huddled on a park bench with a sketchbook perched against her knees.
“Hey!” Annie called out, heading over to the bench. “You’re back from Indiana.”
Lexie’s head jerked up. She slammed the book shut and ran off in the other direction. Pretty fast for someone who always said she wasn’t athletic. Within seconds, Lexie had disappeared.
Annie slowed down and stopped in front of the bench where Lexie had been sitting. Three coloured pencils lay on the ground under the bench. Annie picked them up and held them in her hand. One of them, the brown one, had snapped in half.
“Who was that?” Mum asked.
“Lexie.”
“Your best friend? Is she shy?”
Annie shook her head. Lexie was anything but shy. “We, uh, had a bit of a falling out.”
“Oh?”
“She and Tyler don’t get on.” Annie wasn’t sure how much she wanted to tell Mum, but it slipped out anyway. “And I may have chosen to hang out with him a bit more than her.”
Mum shook her head. Her disappointment was clear. “You know, Annie, romance is great, but real friendships last forever. It hasn’t been easy over the last few months with you being gone. I don’t know where I’d be without my friends’ support.”
Annie glanced at Mum, feeling like she was discovering parts of her she had never known. Could the constant criticism be Mum’s way of hiding her vulnerability?
“I’m sorry, Mum. I didn’t know.”
Mum glanced at her watch and they picked up the pace. “Of course you didn’t. I didn’t want you to. And I certainly don’t want you to worry about me now. Like I said, I have my friends.”
“I’ve been trying to talk to Lexie, but you see what happens when I try,” Annie grumbled, clutching the coloured pencils as her feet pounded the path.
“Sometimes talking isn’t enough.”
“I really miss her.”
“I’m sure she misses you too. Why don’t you try showing her how you feel?”
They left the park and started heading back to the hotel. Mum took a deep breath and seemed to hesitate before asking, “Sweetheart, do any of your friends like Tyler?”
Annie remembered Lauren’s scolding look when Annie missed practice to help Tyler study. Lauren obviously wasn’t a fan. But most of the other girls on the team agreed he was hot. That meant they liked him, right? Liked to look at him, Annie argued with herself. That wasn’t the same as liking – or disliking – him as a person. And if they knew he called them freaks... No, they wouldn’t be friends.
“My friends don’t hang out in the same crowd as him, so they don’t really know him.”
But Annie had said enough for Mum to draw her own conclusions.
“There are always going to be some people who don’t like each other, that’s normal. But if none of your friends get along with Tyler, maybe you should wonder why.”
Annie wanted to tell her mum that she was wrong, that Annie’s friends and Tyler were different. That was it. Roller girls didn’t really mix with jocks and cheerleaders. But it wasn’t just her friends, another voice in her head argued. Other than Javier, none of Tyler’s friends seemed to like her. No, more like they didn’t notice her. None of that felt right.
They got back to the hotel with just enough time for Mum to shower and change back into her business suit. Just as Mum finished paying her bill, the van arrived to take her to the airport.
Annie set down the carrier bag of new clothes and flung her arms around Mum in a tight hug. Oh, she was really going to miss her. Dad was good fun to be around and was her number one fan, but he wasn’t much good for girl talk.
They held each other until the driver cleared his throat. Mum turned away quickly, but Annie still caught the tears behind her glasses.
“Call me when you land,” Annie said, not caring that she sounded like the mum instead of the daughter.
“It’ll be two o’clock in the morning.”
“I don’t care. I just want to know you’re OK.”
Mum nodded, brushing away her tears. “Of course. And I meant what I said – whenever you want to come back, just let me know. Hopefully it’ll be for good once this year’s up, but that’s your choice. I love you.”
“Love you too, Mum.” Annie waved as Mum got into the van. She didn’t care if Mum saw the tears rolling down her cheeks.
She’d always thought she made the right choice in living with Dad. Now, watching Mum wave from the van window as it drove away, she wasn’t so sure any more.
Chapter Fifteen
Annie dragged her feet into the roller rink for practice on Monday. She missed Mum more than she had when she and Dad had first moved away, and wanted nothing more than to stay at home with a bowl of Dad’s caramel popcorn and watch Mamma Mia on DVD.
Keep busy, Mum would say. When things are looking down, keep busy and you’ll soon start to feel better.
Besides, even though Annie thought she had a good reason to miss practice, she wasn’t going to do that to her team again. Not when there was the possibility of Coach benching her for the championship bout.
“Annie,” Sharmila called, looking up from the phone everyone was crowded around. “Did I tell you? My whole family loved your mum. One auntie made me promise to get her number so they can have her over for tea.”
Annie gave her a small smile. “She’d love that. Cheers.”
“Come see the wedding photos,” Sharmila said, pointing to her phone.
Annie looked over Sharmila’s shoulder at some of the photos. All the women were in colourful saris. Sharmila’s sister, Priya, looked radiant in her elaborate purple sari, wedding jewellery and make-up – but no nose ring, Annie noticed. There were also photos of the ceremony at a temple and then the reception at a hall.
“Dang, you’re smoking in that sari,” Holly said, prodding Sharmila’s shoulder. “Think you can get me one?”
Annie turned away. Not to be rude, but the pictures of Sharmila’s happy family just made her miss Mum and reminded her of how their family used to be.
“Hey, why so down?” Jesse came up and placed a hand on Annie’s shoulder.
“Mum’s gone back to the UK. And part of me wishes I was with her.”
“For real?” Jesse’s eyes widened under his shaggy hair.
<
br /> Annie sniffed and felt a lump build in the back of her throat. “I don’t know. I miss her a lot.”
“Come ’ere.” Jesse held his arms open wide and Annie fell into them. She couldn’t remember hugging him before and it felt nice to have his support. Under his long-sleeved T-shirt advertising a brand of skateboards, his arms felt surprisingly strong. “Well, I’d miss you if you left. Really.”
Annie rested her head on his shoulder for a second before pulling away. “Thanks. I’d miss you too.”
He grinned and she knew she hadn’t been just saying it to be polite. She really would miss Jesse, and all her roller derby mates, massively.
She got her gear on and joined rest of the team on the rink, although Sharmila was still taking about the wedding throughout their warm-ups.
“All right, peeps.” Coach Ritter clapped her hands. “I know you all have lots to talk about, but we need to get cracking. Next bout is our championship one and we’re most likely competing against the High Rollers.”
Everyone groaned. The High Rollers had been league champions for several years and they were the Liberty Belles’ arch rivals. Annie felt her left ankle, which hadn’t hurt in over a month, twinge. She’d sprained it when Dee Stroyer, a High Roller, had played dirty.
“Don’t let them intimidate you,” Coach Ritter continued. “Remember, you’re better than they are. In all regards. Everyone played great at the last bout and if we keep that up, we have a good shot at becoming league champions.”
The girls cheered. In the background, Annie heard Jesse cheering too. He was the league’s MC, and was sometimes called in to ref as well; he shouldn’t play favourites. But it cheered Annie up a bit to know he was on their side.
“So let’s keep up the hard work with some Gruesome Twosomes.”
“I call Carmen,” Holly said and she and Carmen immediately linked arms.
Some others paired up too. Lauren picked up Annie’s hand and Annie gave it a friendly squeeze. She hadn’t played this game before, but Lauren had never let her down.