by L. A. Casey
The line went dead so I hung up the phone and rushed down to room two, the room that the red light was flashing above. I instantly felt sick and scared. In my four years at the hospital, I’d been on shift for seven code reds, and it never got easier. A code red on the delivery ward in my hospital meant a baby or mother flat lined—there was no trace of a heartbeat. The mother gets hooked up to a machine that tracks her and her baby’s heartbeat, a code red meant the machine triggered the alarm attached to the machine.
When either mother or baby flat line we had only a matter of minutes to perform a C-section to get the baby out before we could work on either of them. I knew it was the baby who flat lined as I neared the room because I could hear the mother’s screams and pleas for help. I entered the room and found who I guessed to be the father with his hands on the sides of his head and tears in his eyes, while Ash and another midwife, Jada, were holding down the mother-to-be.
I muscled my way into her view and grabbed hold of her cheeks. I had memorised her personal information from when I read her file at the nurses’ station and roughly said, “Samantha, listen to me right now!”
She could barely contain herself, but her eyes locked on mine and I knew I had her attention for a just a few moments before she went off the hinges again.
“We’re movin’ you down to the OR for an emergency caesarean section. We’re goin’ to get your son out and into the world within the next few minutes to try and save ‘im, and we can’t do that without you, okay? We need you to be strong for us. Can you do that for me, honey?”
“Okay,” she cried. “Just please save ‘im. Promise me you will. Please.”
I nodded, because I couldn’t say the words aloud in case they turned out to be a devastating lie.
Everything passed by in a blur as myself, Ash and the father of the baby rushed Samantha down to floor two of the hospital and checked her into the OR where Doctor Harris and his team were ready and waiting.
“Ninety-one seconds since code red was activated. Well done, Branna,” Doctor Harris said and patted my shoulder. “Good time from you and your team.”
I nodded and released Samantha into their care. I stood like a statue and watched as the double doors to the OR swung shut. I heard Doctor Harris bark orders for a catheter and IV lines to be placed on Samantha, and for her abdomen to be cleaned with disinfectant. I held my breath seconds later as he announced he was administrating anaesthesia. As it was an emergency, Samantha would be out under general anaesthesia in a matter of seconds and would not be awake to witness the birth of her son.
I jumped when an arm hooked around my neck and pulled me into a firm chest. I knew it was Ash without having to look up. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed. He kissed the crown of my head and said, “We got her down here fast and Doc Harris is already making the incisions for the section. If anyone can save the baby, it’s him and his team.”
I knew that, but it didn’t take away the fear I felt.
“I always get so invested,” I whispered. “How can I help patients when I let me emotions take over?”
Ash held me out at arms length so I opened my eyes and looked up at him. “Listen to me,” he said firmly. “When Sally isn’t on shift with us, you are the mother of the ward. You’re in charge, and that responsibility doesn’t fall on your shoulders because you’re sweet and kind, it’s because you’re a damn good midwife. You heard Doc Harris, we got her down here in ninety-one seconds and that is thanks to you.”
I felt my lower lip wobble. “Thanks, Ash.”
He winked. “No thanks necessary, kid.”
Kid.
I managed a snort. “I’m four years older than you.”
“Age is just a number, baby.”
I chuckled, but closed my mouth when I heard commotion in the OR. I gripped onto Ash’s arm when I heard a cheer. The doors opened slightly, and the beautiful sound of a newborn’s cry filled the hallway.
“Yes!” I squealed and jumped onto Ash who was laughing as he caught me mid-air.
He swung me around then set me on the ground and gave me a tight squeeze. We waited ten minutes for Samantha’s incision to be stitched closed and for the baby to be checked over. We both turned to a smiling Doctor Harris who rid himself of his surgical scrubs when he exited the OR. He gave me a hug and bumped fists with Ash, which caused me to smile wide. Doctor Harris was fifty-five, and watching him bump fists with someone never failed to amuse me.
“This is on you, and your team,” he told us both. “You did great. The baby is breathin’ on his own, and the mother’s vitals are steady, too. We’ll admit him into ICU for observation, but he looks good. Well done.”
A fresh surge of relief hit me.
“Thank God,” I breathed.
Ash and I left the OR and headed back up to the delivery ward with an extra spring to our step. After we informed our colleagues that both Samantha and her baby were okay, we settled back behind the nurses station.
“It’s hard to believe it’s not even nine am yet,” Ash said with a shake of his head.
I nodded in agreement. “It’s goin’ to be a long day.”
“Thank God for tea,” Ash mused making me laugh.
Thank God for him. I wholeheartedly knew I wouldn’t be able to do this job without him. He was my partner in crime and we fed off each other in our field of work. I was lucky to have him in my life. Having good friends made even the darkest of times seem bright.
“Was it scary?” Dominic asked, his eyes wide.
I had just finished telling him about the code red on the ward that morning while Bronagh was upstairs in the bathroom.
I nodded and said, “It’s always scary. I hate code reds.”
Dominic nodded in understanding then glanced towards the kitchen door when we heard Bronagh descend the stairs. I reached over and touched his arm. “Don’t mention it to ‘er. I never tell ‘er about them because it upsets ‘er, but now that she is pregnant I don’t want ‘er to be scared that somethin’ like that might happen to her.”
Dominic nodded once, then turned his attention to Bronagh when she entered the room. She placed her hands on her hips and sighed, deeply. “I’m so fat.” She frowned. “It took me a whole sixty seconds to get meself off the toilet.”
I snickered while Dominic tilted his head to the side.
“Fat?” he questioned. “And here I thought you were pregnant. Man, you had me fooled.”
Bronagh gave him the finger. “Bite me, Fuckface. You did this to me.”
“You bet your phat ass I did,” he grinned, unfazed by the insult.
To be fair, Fuckface had made the transition from an insult to a term of endearment years ago, and I figured that was why Dominic never minded it.
I smiled while Bronagh moved to the end of the kitchen counter. She—stupidly—tried to jump up and sit on the counter like she had always done in the past, but now that she was pregnant it was dangerous, and hilarious, because she could never get up onto the counter without help.
“Dominic,” I mused. “Give her a hand.”
He got up, moved to Bronagh and carefully lifted her up on the counter. My sister watched him and smiled which caused him to smile too.
“Why’re you looking at me like that?” he asked, amused.
“You didn’t struggle liftin’ me, that means I’m not that fat yet.”
Dominic snorted. “I can bench press my own weight without breaking a sweat, and even halfway through pregnancy you’re still fifty pounds or so lighter than me.”
Bronagh clapped her hands together. “I hope it stays that way.”
“It won’t,” I evilly grinned. “You’ll put on another twenty pounds by the time you have ‘er with the way you eat. Dominic has been orderin’ pizza for you at least five times a week he said.”
Bronagh scowled at me while Dominic laughed.
“You know,” he began as I stirred the spoon in my cup of tea. “It bugs me that you haven’t come
around to calling me Nico like the other girls.”
I grinned. “I knew you as Dominic long before you were the Nico who was hasslin’ Bee in school.”
His lip twitched. “Hassling? Please, she loved every second of my focus on her.”
“Yeah,” Bronagh said with a playful roll of her eyes. “Interaction with your annoyin’ self was what I lived for back then.”
Dominic gestured to his body. “You can’t blame yourself. You have incredible taste, sweetheart.”
Bronagh lazily swung for him, and he easily ducked out of the way, laughing softly. He got in her face before she could jump down from the kitchen counter and start a mess fight with him.
“And now,” he murmured, resting his hands on her swollen abdomen. “We’re having a baby together.”
Bronagh leaned her head forward, and nuzzled her nose against his. I smiled at the pair of them, adoring the love they had for one another. They were still opposites in so many ways, but one thing no one could deny was how hard they loved each other. It was dangerous, the dependency they had on one another, but I understood it.
I understood what it was like to love someone so deeply that you invested your soul in theirs. I had that with Ryder, and it’s why I was so broken now that it was fading away. I was slowly dying without his unconditional love, and I only had myself to blame.
You should have guarded your heart better, my mind sneered.
I looked away from Dominic and my sister and looked down to my phone when it pinged. It was a text message from Ash. I read it and snickered. I thumbed out a reply, hit send then pocketed my phone. I looked up to find the two love birds staring at me.
“Who was that?” Dominic asked, his eyebrow raised.
Nosey git.
“A co-worker,” I responded then flicked my eyes to Bronagh. “He is pickin’ me up to head back to work, are you still collectin’ me at four?”
“Four?” she questioned. “Why not eight?”
I shrugged. “It’s trainin’ day for fourth year midwives from the university, I opted out of being part of it so I get to come home earlier. I’m exhausted and need to get some mental rest. I’m gettin’ old, it appears.”
That was a bullshit lie if I ever told one. What I wasn’t saying was that I needed some me time to figure out how I was going to break up with Ryder. I was going to do it sooner rather than later. I wanted to do it like ripping off a plaster, quick and painless. Or just quick.
Dominic waved my concerns off. “You’re still the hottest thirty-something year old I know.”
No one was allowed say my real age, thirty-something was as close as they could get.
My lip quirked. “Thanks, that makes me feel so much better.”
“He’s right,” Bronagh grinned. “You have a bangin’ body, and your boobs are still perky.”
Dominic’s eye flicked down to my chest and it made me laugh.
“He is so predictable,” I said to Bronagh.
My sister looked at him and gave him a nudge, regaining his attention.
“I’m sittin’ right here,” she scowled.
Dominic scratched his neck. “You were the one who was talking about her tits, not me.”
Bronagh shook her head, grinning. “How dare I.”
I smiled then stood up when I heard a horn beep outside. “That’s for me,” I said as I picked up my bag, and hooked the strap over my shoulder before pointing at my sister. “Four o’clock. Don’t forget, I don’t want to have to get the bus.”
Bronagh saluted me. “I’ll be there.”
I gave her a hug and poked Dominic in the sides before I left their house. I smiled when Ash came into view as I approached his car. I carefully opened the passenger door and slid into the passenger seat. When I was buckled up I turned my attention to Ash and smiled, “Hello, loser.”
He feigned hurt and his facial expression caused me to laugh, loudly.
“How was your break?” he asked as he pulled away from the kerb.
I yawned. “Not long enough, I could sleep for a year.”
“Me too,” Ash agreed, looking as tired as I felt. “I’m probably just going to hit the deli in the hospital for lunch in the future, being at home is too tempting because my bed is there.”
I chuckled. “I agree, next time we can stay on site and shoot the shit in the café.”
“Sounds like a plan, buddy.”
We got to talking, and before I knew it we arrived at the hospital and were back on the delivery ward within half an hour.
“What are you doing?”
I looked up at Ash when he spoke. He placed his elbows on the desk of the nurse’s station I was sitting behind, his blond hair falling into his sky blue eyes.
I pointed to the stack of paperwork next to me. “Signin’ off on discharges, admittance forms and fillin’ out the supply list that needs to be filed by the end of the day. It’s nearly four and I want this done before I go home.”
Ash gripped onto the counter, then heaved himself up until he was sitting on it and looking down at me. I shook my head at him.
“Sally will wipe the floor with you if she catches you sittin’ up there.” I commented. “She is on shift today, she came in after lunch.”
Ash smirked. “Please, Sally loves me.”
My lips quirked. “It’s ‘cause you flirt with ‘er all the time.”
“I flirt with everyone,” he corrected.
I chuckled. “You’re such a flirt slut.”
Ash didn’t deny the charges, instead, he embraced them. “A man’s gotta do, what a man’s gotta do.”
I shook my head good-naturedly and looked back down to the form I was filling out, but once again my thoughts shifted to Ryder and it caused me to sigh.
“Hey,” Ash murmured. “You okay?”
I glanced up at him and nodded. “Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m great.”
He deadpanned, “You wanna try telling me the truth this time?”
His awareness of me caused me to smile as I looked back down to the form I was filling out. “You don’t want to hear about me silly drama, Ash,” I assured him.
I looked up just as he raised an eyebrow and said, “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to know.”
I thought about that for a second then said, “I... I just had a fight with Ryder last night.”
He winced. “Another one?”
Ash was the only person in the world who I talked to about Ryder because he was outside of my family circle. He didn’t go and tell the brothers or girls about my worries, he kept them between us, and I really liked that. It was kind of therapeutic to be able to vent to someone and not worry if they would tell Ryder or one of his brothers.
I nodded solemnly. “It was a bad one. He was so insensitive about me feelin’s with Bronagh’s baby. He called me jealous and told me it was me own fault I wasn’t pregnant because we never have sex.”
I left out the crude things Ryder said because Ash didn’t need to know how he spoke to me.
“What a fucking prick,” my friend grumbled, surprising the hell out of me.
I widened my eyes at him and he shrugged his shoulders unapologetically. “I’m not sorry,” he stated. “Your fiancé becomes a bigger dick every time you tell me about him. Does he not realise how good he has it with you?”
I felt my cheeks heat up. “I don’t think I’m anythin’ to fuss over, Ash.”
“You bloody well are,” he countered. “Don’t allow him to make you feel less than perfect, you’re all of that and more. Own it.”
I was mortified.
“Stop, Ash,” I whispered to avoid hearing the tremor in my voice. “You always embarrass me when you talk about me like that.”
He chuckled. “I know, but I’m hoping the more I go on about how fabulous you are, the sooner you’ll realise it’s the truth.”
I waved him off. “Your sugar sweet words will get you nowhere with me, cowboy.”
Ash winked. “I know, because you’re loyal to t
he core. You’re a good woman, and fuck Ryder if he can’t see that.”
He had a very odd way with words.
I smiled, appreciatively. “Thanks, Ash.”
“You got it, Angel,” he replied.
I lost my smile and growled. “If you ‘Angel’ me one more time—”
“I’m going to bring up a patient from Peter’s ward, catch you in a few.” He laughed and jumped off the counter before I could catch him and whack him upside the head.
“I’ll be here when you get back.” I wickedly grinned and wiggled my slapping hand at him. “Waitin’.”
He only smirked at me, the challenge I set clearly amusing him. I shook my head, smiling when he went out of view. He was great and I knew if Ryder wasn’t in my life I would be fawning over him and doing almost anything to be with him because not only was he gorgeous, he was so sweet and caring, but having him as just my friend meant so much to me.
I knew he would help me get through my break up with Ryder when I eventually ended things. I knew he would be there for me. That was just the kind of person he was. He was a sweetheart.
Thinking of how sweet Ash was brought on thoughts of how different he was compared to Ryder. My fiancé wasn’t horrible… he was just different now. For the first several years, he was so sweet and caring and put me at the centre of his world. Everything between us was so incredible. Things had certainly changed between us over the last year and a half.
Every time I saw him I felt just like the first night he entered my life, and that was both comforting and soul shattering because I had to break up with him knowing that he breathed life into me from the darkness.
Five years ago..
“I’m not feelin’ Darkness tonight, Ado,” I sighed into the speaker of my phone as I twisted my waist length brown hair around my fingers. “Bee had a bad day at school today, I think she got into an argument with someone. She won’t tell me what happened, but she is really out of sorts, she hasn’t picked up her Kindle at all today and that isn’t like her.”
Aideen, my life-long best friend, groaned. “She is a big girl, Bran. If she won’t tell you what’s up then maybe she just wants to deal with it herself without her big sister pokin’ her nose in.”