“I trust you as much as I need to.”
“That’s bullshit, Paige and you know it,” he retaliates.
“Never trust anybody.”
“Except for me,” he says, his arms going out either side of him. “Don’t act like you don’t, it’s insulting.”
His words, they ring true.
But I can’t voice the words that I need to.
I’ve always told myself that I will only trust as much as I need to, and as much as I kid myself, I know, deep down, that I have trusted Donovan more than anyone, since Joey.
But no matter how much I have to admit to myself that Donovan does have my trust, I can’t let him think that his threats are going to make me talk.
There are some things I need to keep to myself, and Joey being part of my past is one of them.
“If you’re doubting me, then you better turn around and walk out that door right now,” I say, not backing down.
Time ticks by, the tension growing thicker by the second.
When a couple of minutes have ticked by, I smirk. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” I say as I brush past him and leave the room. Donovan won’t go anywhere. He’s always had my back.
If that’s the case, then why are you worrying?
I storm out of the house, grabbing my car keys as I slam the front door shut behind me. I need to unleash some of my frustration. I need an outlet, and there is only one place in the world that I can do that right now.
It’s time for me to start facing up to my feelings.
Ignoring them is only fucking my shit up.
I had it all figured out, until Joey played his hand and put his fucking cards on the table.
Joey Valentine, my goddamn downfall, and the only one that has the power to break everything that I have so carefully crafted.
And I don’t even want him to give up that power. It’s not about that anymore. It’s not about winning, losing or seeking revenge.
He’s made it clear that we’re equals, neither one of us better than the other.
The question is, do I keep playing by my rules? Or do I change the game and allow myself to go after the very thing that I have denied myself since the moment that I laid my eyes back on Joey?
Play by the rules or change the game?
Fuck.
No one ever said that love was easy.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Joey
Another day, another asshole taught a valuable lesson.
I just spent the last hour schooling some prick about respect.
Nobody fucks with me, and some don’t believe it until they learn the hard way.
I don’t relish the idea of kicking someone’s ass, but when it’s called for, I will fucking bring it. And bring it I did. Whether it was more enforced because of my frustration over Paige lately, I’m not sure, but I can guarantee that motherfucker won’t be bothering me again.
Lewis Knox, stupid man. Twenty-three years old, thinks he’s running at the top of his game, thinks he can come into my playground and take shit from me without paying the price. He’s been trying to sidestep me for weeks, but I can safely say that he has gotten the message that he can’t do that without severe consequences. His face is going to take a while to heal. As for his mind, I can’t say that he will ever fully recover, but they don’t call me the motherfucking King of this world for nothing.
This is why I wanted out. I wanted to get away from all the shadiness, the mind games, the crucifixions. I wanted a normal life, where no one knew me, where I would be free to do what I liked, see who I liked and live a peaceful existence.
I was nearly there, getting ready to hand over the reins to Raymond. And then Paige came back into my life.
Her words come back to me. “Prove it.”
Prove it.
Prove it.
Prove it.
I’ve been racking my brains for a way to show her that I am in this for the long haul, and that if I have to live in this corrupt underworld forever with her, then so be it. But I fear that she will always doubt me.
I could lay all my fucking cards on the table, and she could tear them up, claim that it was a false deal.
With a sigh, I walk over to the small bar area in my office, picking up a bottle of scotch and pouring it into a tumbler, watching the liquid slide over the ice cubes that were already in there when I walked in here. My guys know me well, and I have no doubt that Raymond put the ice cubes in the tumbler, knowing that the first thing I would need after a beat down was a glass of scotch on the rocks.
I raise the glass to my lips, ready to take a sip, savour the taste, feel the burn, when my office door flies open. My eyes flick up, and I’m ready to tear whoever is bursting in here a new asshole, until I see the shoes. Stilettos. Red ones. My eyes roam up, and I see the tight jeans hugging her curves. Moving up a little more, I see her red, lace top, clinging to her like a second skin. Her hair tumbling around her in waves, her lips red and full, her stormy grey eyes blazing.
Paige. My fucking Paige.
She kicks the door shut, her breathing heavy, her fists clenched.
I slowly put the tumbler down.
I wait.
She came to me, this is her show, not mine.
The ball is in her court. She’s the one running things. I’m just hoping to be taken along for the ride.
She takes a few steps forward, her heels clicking on the wooden floorboards.
“Did you mean it, Joey?” she asks, her voice small, almost as if she is unsure of herself.
I remain quiet, waiting for her to give me more.
Another click of her heel.
“Are you really going to prove it to me?” Another question, still I give no response.
Click, click, click.
Her feet stop when she gets to the other side of the bar, her hands going out either side of her as she leans on the bar top, palms down, shoulders raised slightly.
I remain like a fucking statue.
“Am I really yours?” she purrs, and fuck if her words don’t make my inner animal want to come out. I could devour her, right here, right now, and I don’t think for one minute that she would stop me. Not in this moment. Not at this time.
My hands are resting just in front of hers. All I would have to do is move them forward an inch to touch her.
“Could you imagine someone else taking your place?” she whispers, and my jaw clenches. “Could you imagine another man touching what you say is yours?”
Fuck no.
Never going to happen.
“Could you fuck another woman like you fuck me?”
Again, no, and I don’t like where these fucking questions are going. What is she doing? Goading me? Testing me?
I have no fucking clue, but her next question almost shatters me.
“If I let you in, are you going to break my heart again?” Her quiet voice fades off a little more with each word, and I can no longer stand here and do nothing.
My hand moves, my fingers entwining with her hair where my hand stops at the back of her head.
“You gonna make me cry again, Joey?” she whispers, and the tremble of her lip has my other hand covering hers.
This is the first time that she has really let me see the true Paige, the one I fell in love with and never let go. This is the woman that Paige Roderick is hiding. She thinks that Paige Daniels is weak, but what she fails to see is that they are both the same fucking person, and they each have my fucking heart.
Her eyes filling with unshed tears leaves me speechless, so I do the only thing that I can in this moment to convey everything that I am feeling. I kiss her. It’s not quick, it’s not animalistic, it’s not frenzied. It’s slow, passionate and emotional.
Her lips move against mine, her silent tears falling down her cheeks. I cup her face and use my thumbs to wipe them away. Her muffled groan has me wanting to fill her, to let her know that I’m right here with her, beside her.
“Don’t cry, baby,” I sa
y as I brush my lips across hers, not wanting to move away.
“I don’t want to be this person, Joey,” she says, still her voice a whisper. “I can’t do it again.”
“Neither can I,” I tell her truthfully. Letting her go the first time fucking broke me. We may both put on a front, one which looks like it can’t be penetrated, but we both know it’s a lie. We can fool other people, but not each other.
This is her walls breaking down, letting me in, showing me a slither of the fucking pain that I caused her. I thought that pushing her away was right. I thought that I was saving her from a world of pain. But what I actually did was damage her heart, and I’m going to do everything that I can to repair the damage that I caused.
Seeing her hurting, seeing her tears, seeing the fear in her eyes, I don’t want any of that. I want to see her happy, I want to be the one that she trusts above all others in this world, and I won’t stop until I have made her believe in me, in us.
I let her go for a second as I round the bar, so I can hold her flush to my chest.
Her grey eyes look up at me, willing me to be honest with her, and that’s exactly what I’m going to be.
One of my hands lay at the base of her spine, the other gripping her hip.
“Paige, letting you go was the biggest mistake of my life. Learning to live without you was damn near impossible. I’ve already told you that I thought it was for the best, to get you away from this world, to spare you from becoming a target for anyone that wanted to get to me. I made a choice, and I was wrong.
“I know that you doubt me, and I know that it’s going to take time to rebuild the trust that we once had, but make no mistake when I say this, you are mine. You have my heart. You are the woman for me, always have been and always will be.
“I don’t want you to hurt anymore. I don’t want to see you cry because of the hurt that I caused you. And I don’t want to play fucking mind games. I want you, Paige. I want it all. I want the house, the kids, the fucking dog running round the garden, and I want it with you.
“There hasn’t been anyone else, Paige.”
“No one?” she asks, her eyes wide.
“No one,” I confirm. I couldn’t bring myself to touch another woman after her. Sure, I’ve had countless women try, but it never felt right, and I simply wasn’t interested.
“You know, you’re not as much of a hard-ass as people think,” she says injecting a little humour into her voice.
I chuckle. “You’re the only one that will ever get to see this side of me.” No one else deserves to see the soft side of Joey Valentine.
“Have you got work to do?” she asks me, biting that juicy bottom lip of hers.
“Nothing that can’t wait.”
“You wanna get out of here?” she asks.
Do I want to get out of here?
What kind of question is that?
Fuck, yes, I want to get out of here.
“You coming with me?” I ask, needing her to confirm what I’m thinking even after I just poured my heart out to her.
I swear, time fucking stops as I wait for her answer.
“Yes.”
And just like that we’re Joey and Paige again.
Not Valentine and Roderick.
Just plain old girl meets boy. Man loves woman. Lovers reunited.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Paige
I may have lost my damn mind in the last twenty minutes, but I’m surprisingly okay with that.
After Donovan questioned me about Joey, I knew that I was never going to be able to let him go. Joey Valentine has always been my number one. Sure, I may want to challenge him, push him, and make him go a little crazy, but that’s all part of what makes us, us.
I’ve tried to fight what I feel for Joey, but I’m fighting a losing battle. I’ll always want him, always love him and will always want him to want me.
We were a whirlwind once before, so God knows what kind of force we will be now.
I’m meant to be waiting at my house for the boys to bring Meghan fucking Morgan to me, but in this moment, I couldn’t give a toss. All I want is to be near Joey, to feel him touching me, to lose myself in how he makes me feel.
I can still be a strong woman even with Joey on my damn arm. I don’t need to lose sight of who I have become. I don’t know why I ever thought that he would want to take the crown that I have worked so fucking hard for.
Sure, we’ve had our moments of goading one another, trying to force the other one to show their hand early on in the game, but I’m done with it. I’m ready to give him another chance, to explore what we once could have been.
Giving up is no longer an option.
Taking him down is not even in my agenda. I no longer have an agenda when it comes to him.
I just want to be Paige. A woman who wants a man, and there ain’t no one more manly than Joey Valentine.
We’ve just arrived at his house. He’s unlocking the front door, and even his fucking back is sexy. Dear God, it’s like I’ve opened up all of my girlie fucking thoughts and there is no way to shut them down right now. The girl in love that I once was has been shut down for so long that I fear I may maul him to death taking my fill of him. I don’t think Joey would complain though, not if the way he is looking at me is any indication.
His eyes are trained on me as I walk past, swinging my hips from side to side a little more than is necessary.
I own every moment, and I sure as fuck am going to own this one.
He shuts the door, turns to me, and smiles.
I almost kick myself for my knees going momentarily weak at that damn smile, but I remind myself that I am allowed moments like this.
I may be a fucking force, but I’m also a bloody human. I have feelings. I have needs. I have wants. And Joey is every fucking thing that I crave. Powerful, exquisite, dangerous, handsome, charming, he’s the whole package. And I want to unwrap that package, make him mine, and be his fucking equal.
I take a step towards him, and he takes one towards me. I barely take in the décor of the hallway that we are standing in, because none of that is on my radar. Joey is all consuming, filling the space like no one else can.
We may have fucked in his office the other night, and that may have roused things inside of me, but I have a feeling that nothing is going to prepare me for what is about to come.
He holds his hand out to me, and I take it.
The tingles that shoot up my arm quickly make their way through my body and end up between my legs.
He pulls me against his chest. His rock hard chest.
He uses his other hand to tip my chin up, so that I am looking at him.
His eyes blaze with every emotion possible. Want, need, excitement, fear, love. Yeah, I’m right there with you, baby.
The tension surrounding us is off the scale.
This is the two most powerful people in the underworld coming together as one. The leaders solidifying their place in each other’s lives.
His head dips down, his lips hover over mine, his breath feathers across my skin.
And I shudder with delight when he brushes those lips over mine before taking them in a bruising kiss. His hands snake around my waist, my hands hold onto his broad shoulders. His slight stubble grazes against my delicate skin, and I couldn’t love the feel of it more. Joey is going to leave his mark on me, again, and I’m ready for it.
His hands slide to my ass, and he lifts me up, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist. Then he starts to walk, and he could be taking me out to the fucking garden for all I care right now, but it seems that he has chosen to go upstairs. Our lips stay connected, my fingers tug on his hair, his growl has me hungry for more.
He kicks a door open and I hold on tighter as he lowers me, his body over mine, until I land on a soft surface. His bed.
Our lips break apart and he stands back up, towering over me. My legs are still wrapped around him as he takes off his suit jacket, throwing it to the floor. His finge
rs move to his shirt buttons, and he slowly undoes each one. In fact, it seems to take a fucking age for him to reveal his rock hard abs, and I struggle not to take over and hurry him the fuck up.
When his shirt joins his jacket in a heap on the floor, I allow my eyes to trail the hard lines of his body. I prop myself up on my elbows so that I can get a good look at the fucking God stood in front of me.
His hands move to his trousers, he undoes the button, and I lick my lips in anticipation of seeing his cock again. The bulge in his pants already tells me that he’s hard. For me. For us. For what we are about to do.
As he pushes his clothes down his legs, I can no longer sit back. I want in on the action, right now. I sit up and move forwards, taking his dick in my mouth before he realises what I’m doing.
“Fuck,” he says, abandoning his removal of clothes, his hand going to the back of my head, caressing it gently.
I slide his dick in and out of my mouth, swirling my tongue, sucking a little harder each time I go up and down. I move slowly, torturously so, marvelling in the moans coming from him.
I move a little faster, wanting to ignite his passion to the max.
And it appears I do just that when he pulls my head back, releasing his cock from my mouth, his eyes blazing into mine. I lick my lips and am pushed onto my back and stripped of my clothes quicker than ever before. Lying fully naked before him, he lifts one of my legs and removes my stiletto before doing the same to the other leg. The act is so fucking sexy, but then it gets even sexier when he places his lips on my ankle and kisses a trail all the way up to the inside of my thigh.
Joey’s face between my legs, fucking beautiful.
He parts my legs wider, leaving me spread eagled and completely at his mercy, and when his tongue darts out, hitting my sweet spot, I feel like I might self-combust.
I forgot how fucking good he was at eating pussy.
His tongue, his lips, his moves, it’s all so fucking good.
My back arches off of the bed and his hands come up, caressing my breasts, tweaking my nipples. I am in pleasure heaven.
My toes curl as I teeter on the edge of release. My breathing quickens, my groans get louder. And just when I am about to let go and fully fucking relish in how amazing it all feels, Joey stops everything. I blink for a few seconds, wondering what the fuck just happened. I lift my head to see where the hell he went to, and there he is, looking at me like I am his fucking world.
Checkmate Page 13