My level of anxiety grows as we enter the palace. I pay our fee, our hands get stamped, and I quickly usher Lucy over to a locker where we can store our stuff.
“Travis would love it here,” she says as she takes off her winter wear. I look around and agree. Deep down he’s a big kid, at least where Lucy is concerned.
“I’m sure he would.”
“Maybe next time he can come.” She looks up at me with her blue eyes, eyes that are the same color as Travis’s. That thought alone gives me pause. I don’t see him as a family man, but I see pride in his eyes when he looks at Lucy. I push her brunette locks out of the way and give her a kiss on the nose.
“Come here. Let me fix your hair.” Her hair is full of static from her stocking cap.
Lucy does as I ask, turning around and tipping her head back so I can redo her ponytail. When I was young, I used to dream of having a daughter so I could do her hair, and now that I do, I realize how much of a pain it is. Everything gets in your hair when you’re little.
“All set,” I tell her, and move us along until we’re in the play area. “I’ll be right here.” I point to the table where I’m going to sit and read while she plays. I like the security of the play palace, knowing that Lucy can’t leave unless the stamp on her hand matches mine. This allows her to get out the energy she has from being cooped up during the winter, and I can catch up on some reading.
I try not to watch the door, wondering if Elijah is going to show. I don’t want to believe that he’s changed, that he’s willing to make Lucy a priority. I want him to forget about her, pretend she doesn’t exist, but I know he won’t do that.
I’m lost in the pages of my book when I hear his voice. A quick glance tells me he’s not thrilled to be in a place like this. It’s noisy, dirty, and there’s a mob of children running around freely. I’m laughing on the inside because this is perfect. This is Lucy. If you’re not playing dress-up and willing to be a kid, then you won’t end up being her best friend.
“Do you plan to stay here all day?” he asks, standing next to me.
“You can sit down, ya know,” I say, pointing to the seat in front of me. He hesitates and brushes the chair off with his hand. I can’t help but laugh at how out of place he looks in his suit. It’s the weekend. He needs to lighten up. When we were together, he used to wear jeans and loafers. Never sneakers. Now that I think about it, it drove me crazy back then.
“This place is filthy.”
“She loves it.”
“I had rather hoped you meant a sophisticated learning facility, not a jungle full of—”
“Children, Elijah. You have two of them at home.”
“Renee and I don’t allow for this type of debauchery.”
I close my book and slip it into my bag. “You don’t allow your children to play?” I ask, taking mental notes of his demeanor. How in good conscience would I ever agree to let him take my daughter for a week, let alone months, if she’s not allowed to play?
“In a controlled, sterile environment.”
Shaking my head, I scan the crowd for her. She’s at the top of the jungle gym, about to jump into a pit of foam balls. On the inside I’m encouraging her and tempted to make Elijah watch. Maybe it’ll give him a heart attack, and he’ll bail on her. “So boring and stuffy, like you.”
He glares at me, and I shrug. I don’t care if Lucy rolls in dirt, kisses frogs, or jumps in rain puddles. It’s a part of growing up and being a kid. It’s hard for me to fathom that this is the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, the man that I wanted to have a house full of children with. We’re nothing alike, and our views on parenting vastly differ.
“Where is the child? I would like to meet her.”
It’s in this moment that I decide I’m going to give him a run for his money. Had he referred to her by name, I probably would’ve called her over and introduced them to each other. Not as her father, of course, but as Elijah.
“She’s playing over there,” I say, nodding toward the massive jungle gym. He turns and sighs.
“Stop the bullshit, Saylor. I don’t have time for this.”
“Well, if you want to see her, make the time. Go on; go find your daughter.”
I owe him nothing, yet everything. He’s missed every court-appointed holiday and visitation. Birthdays have come and gone without a card, but the monthly support payment is made without hesitation. His money is the only thing I can count on from him. I have no doubt he could destroy me in court, with the people he knows, but I would do everything I could to make it a long, drawn-out battle so that when it was over, Lucy would be of age to tell the judge what she wants to do.
Elijah walks to the center of the room before going over to a random girl. She looks to be about eight or so and wants nothing to do with him. He does this to two or three more girls before I decide to intervene. As fun as it would be to see him get tossed out of here, the last thing I need is for him to take me to court. Truth is, I wouldn’t be able to afford to fight him, and he knows that.
“Lucy,” I yell as I stand next to him. He glares at me once again, and I shrug. “All you have to do is ask for a picture every now and again, and you wouldn’t look like a creepy pedophile.”
Lucy comes running and grabs my hand, leading us toward the back of the room where the food stand is. She probably thinks it’s lunchtime, and a quick look at the clock tells me it is. That is something Elijah can take care of while he’s here.
He follows us, standing behind me while we wait to order our food. “What are you hungry for today?” I ask.
“Um…” she says, tapping her index finger against her cheek. “I think a corn dog and fries.”
“Hi, can we have a corn dog and cheeseburger, both with fries and two bottles of water?” I step aside and motion for Elijah to go. He looks at me like I have two heads, while shaking his. “Suit yourself, but you’re paying.” I smirk, daring him to tell me no.
Elijah steps up and places a mumbled order that I’m unable to hear and brings a table number back to where we’ve been sitting.
“Who are you?” Lucy asks as she scoots closer to me. Her legs swing back and forth, and I know exactly when she pops him in the knee. I can’t help but laugh, because she’s doing everything that I want her to.
“I’m Elijah Henry.”
“I go to school with a boy named Henry, but sometimes he goes by Hank.”
“Is he your friend?” Elijah asks.
Lucy shrugs. “Sure, everyone is. It’s a rule. But he picks his nose, and that’s gross.”
“It’s disgusting. You shouldn’t hang out with boys like that,” he says, causing me to frown.
She stops talking as our food arrives. While Lucy and I went for what I call “fair food,” Elijah has opted for a salad. A few other moms walk by and give him a look that has me chuckling under my breath. He has to be that guy all the time.
“Why are you here?” Lucy asks.
“I came to see you,” he says, setting his fork down.
“Oh. But why are you dressed for work? Today is Saturday. It’s a play day.”
He looks down at his clothes and back at me. I cock my eyebrow, letting him know that I agree with her.
“This is how I always dress.”
Lucy seems to accept this answer and goes about eating her lunch, never asking him another question.
His phone rings halfway through, and he answers. By the responses he’s giving, I’m assuming he’s talking to his wife, and I don’t like what I hear, such as “dirty environment,” “out of control,” and “processed foods.”
“Sorry about that,” he says, hanging up.
“Sure you are.” I gather my and Lucy’s empty baskets and leave Elijah at the table while I take Lucy to the bathroom to clean up.
“Who is that man?”
“A friend, I guess.” I don’t know how to answer her, because I’m not going to be the one who tells her that he’s her father. Those words need to come fr
om him, and when she asks where he’s been all her life, he can tell her. I’m going to end up taking the brunt of the emotions that will come after the fact. I shouldn’t have to be the one to deliver the news, too.
“I don’t like him,” she says as she washes her hands.
I don’t either, but I can’t tell her that. As much as I don’t want to, I have to be an adult in this situation, when I really want to stick my tongue out at him and tell him to fuck off.
“Sometimes people hang around even when you don’t like them,” I tell her, hoping my five-year-old can understand the gist of what I’m saying.
“I like Travis. Can we go see him?”
She holds her hands out for me to dry, all while her eyes plead with me. He invited us to hockey, but I didn’t exactly give him an answer. It would be nice to see Branch and maybe talk some business with him. We’ve been trying to land him as a client for a few years, especially after he signed his recent deal with the Renegades, far under his market value.
“I don’t know, Lucy. We’ll see, okay?”
She sighs but places her hand in mine. When we get back to our table, every sign of Elijah is gone. I tell Lucy to run and play as I reach in my pocket for my phone. I have one missed call and a text from him.
I will be reevaluating my stance.
“Fucker.” I slip my phone back into my pocket and return to my book. Only, the words are a blur, and I can’t concentrate. It’s a damn good thing he pulled this shit before he told her who he was. I can’t imagine what she’d think if she knew and then he bailed on her.
Seventeen
Travis
Shaun Singleton is the spitting image of his father, and for two people who haven’t spent a lot of time together, they sure act like each other. Seeing Branch interact with his son shows me another side of him. I’m used to the baseball player, the most feared designated hitter in the American League. He’s usually stone-faced and lacking emotion, unless he’s brought in the winning run in the bottom of the ninth.
Tonight, the Branch Singleton sitting in the suite is different. He’s relaxed, joyful. Dude looks happier than a pig in shit.
I feel bad for Ainsley Bailey, though. I had thought Saylor would want to come and had hoped she’d be around to hang out with Ainsley. Saylor is used to sports and understands them. Ainsley is somewhat new, even though she went to a lot of our games after the All-Star break. Instead, she’s watching the Bruins warm up while her husband prattles on with his teammates.
“Hey, Kidd, why don’t you go pick up some chick and bring her here so Ainsley has someone to talk to?” Cooper asks, patting me on the back.
I shake my head and sip on my water. “As much as I’d like to help you out, cleat-chasers are way too risky for me right now.”
He hangs his head in shame. “Sorry, man. I forgot.”
“It’s cool.” But seriously, how can you forget that shit? It’s the reason he’s even here right now and not living the life in Florida where it’s warm and the sun shines every day.
“I thought you were bringing someone,” Branch says, digging the knife that Cooper already stabbed me with even deeper.
“She couldn’t make it.”
I decide that talking about who I was going to bring isn’t the conversation for me right now and walk to the front of the suite, taking a seat next to Ainsley.
“Hey, Travis,” she says, giving me a hug.
“How are my niece and nephew?” After Cooper made me go to Lamaze class with him, I took an interest in the twins. They’re cute as hell, but Uncle Travis isn’t taking on any duties until they’re fully potty trained and the projectile vomiting has stopped. I swear that Cal was born from the exorcist or something equally evil. Janie, on the other hand, loves me and makes eyes at me whenever I see her.
“They’re good. They’re with Wes tonight.”
“Yeah, why is that?” I ask. “They’re super-tiny humans, and he doesn’t strike me as the type to babysit.”
She shrugs and looks behind her, I’m assuming for Cooper. “Um…he and Coop have spent a lot of time together, and he asked. I mean, it’s only for a few hours, and they’ll probably sleep through most of it, and…well, maybe I should leave and go get them, right?” Ainsley starts to stand, but my hand comes down on her arm, keeping her in her seat.
“It was only a question. I’m sure Wilson is capable of being a great babysitter. Besides, I’m sure you need a few hours without them.”
“I do. I really do,” she says, nodding. I think I probably scared the shit out of her, but that wasn’t my intention. I just find it odd that Wilson, of all guys, would want to babysit.
General manager Ryan Stone and his wife, country music superstar Hadley Carter, walk into the suite. A few people who can see inside notice her right off and start chanting her name. As much as I don’t want to, I stand and go over to greet him. The last time I saw him, I was storming out of the conference room in a heated fit.
“Mr. Stone,” I say to a man who is younger than me. We shake hands, and he reintroduces his wife. She and Ainsley had babies on the same day. “How’s your boy?” I ask, giving her a kiss on the cheek. Stone is a lucky bastard being married to one of the hottest chicks around.
“He’s really good. Thanks for asking.” Hadley sees Ainsley and waves before kissing Ryan and leaving the suite with a few security guards. The second Ryan focuses his attention elsewhere, I turn to Cooper.
“I didn’t know Stone was going to be here,” I say to Cooper, who nods.
“Hadley is singing the national anthem tonight, so Branch invited them to hang out with us.”
“Gotcha.”
“You nervous?” Coop asks me.
I shrug. “Everything about my life makes me nervous. I hear someone say my name and I’m afraid to turn around, or they ask if I read something online and I’m afraid to look, because I don’t want to see what people are saying about me. The stuff I have read is bullshit. Everyone is concerned with the victim and assumes that I’ve done something wrong.” I down my water, wishing it were something stronger.
“It’ll work out,” Cooper tells me.
“And if it doesn’t?” I say as Cooper and I both turn and look at Stone, who is immersed in conversation with Branch.
“I’m trying to remain optimistic for you. Hell, you helped me with Ainsley. I’m only trying to return the favor.”
I can’t help but laugh. “I didn’t do shit when it came to Ainsley except give you a hard time.”
“You didn’t chase after her, and that says a lot to me about a person.”
Putting my arm around Cooper, I pull him into a headlock and rub my knuckles on his head. “That’s the one thing I’ll never do—touch a teammate’s girl.”
“But others are fair game?” he asks.
“I suppose,” I say, shrugging. “Maybe that’s my problem.”
“Yeah, maybe.”
I follow Cooper down the few steps and take a seat one away from him and Ainsley. I don’t want to intrude on their date night and don’t mind being a loner for the evening. We stand for the national anthem when Hadley’s name is announced. We all scream loudly for her, and Ainsley lets out a whistle that makes us all cower and cover our ears.
As soon as the puck drops, the sound of Saylor’s voice catches my attention. I turn around to find her being greeted by Stone. Lucy is with her, and when she sees me, she comes running.
“Travis,” she says as her tiny arms wrap around me in the fiercest hug I have ever had, and one that I needed desperately.
“What are you guys doing here?”
“Dunno. Mom said we were coming to hockey, and you are here.”
“Well, I’m happy you’re here,” I tell her as I pull her into my lap. I start talking to her about the game, explaining how hockey works.
“But you don’t play this one?”
“Nope, only baseball.”
“But why?” she asks, putting her hands up.
“Well
, because when I was your age, hockey wasn’t an option for me. And I don’t know how to skate.”
“I do,” she says, turning in my lap. “I will teach you.”
“I would like that, Lucy. Hey, do you want to meet my friends?”
“Okay, sure.”
I turn her on my lap to face Cooper and Ainsley and introduce them to her. I also add that Ainsley has two babies at home, and Lucy asks if she can go see them. Of course I tell her yes, because I’m going to do whatever I can to spend time with her and her mother.
Halfway through the first period, Saylor joins us down in front. I know that I have to remain professional, but man if I don’t want to reach for her hand or place a kiss on her sweet lips.
“Glad you could make it.”
She smiles and leans toward me. The attempt is subtle, but I notice it. “I wasn’t sure if this was a good idea or not.”
“It’s only a hockey game, Saylor. And my teammates are here. It’s not like I’m going to take advantage of you.”
She blushes at my comment, and I want to reach out and stroke her cheek but keep my hands firmly planted on the armrests. The Garden erupts, and Lucy jumps off my lap and starts cheering right alongside Cooper.
“I think she likes hockey,” I tell Saylor, who shakes her head.
“She likes everything. Ballet, dance, gymnastics. If someone is taking a lesson, she wants to sign up.”
“What does she do now?”
Saylor looks down at her jeans and brushes her hand along her leg. “Nothing.”
“Why not?”
Her eyes close briefly, and I already know the answer before she says it. “Those activities cost money, and right now, I’m not in a position to pay for them.”
The only thing I can do is nod. I know I could offer to pay for Lucy, but Saylor would tell me no. And it’s not the same type of no as when she tells me that we can’t be together or when she tells me that I shouldn’t kiss her. This would be crossing the line and could very well ruin the relationship I’m trying to build with her.
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