by Suzie Carr
She walked up the long walkway with the pretty statues, flowers and bushes, past the black shiny vehicle with no markings, thankfully, and knocked confidently on the front door.
Kate opened it. “I’ve been expecting you for some time now,” she said. “Sophie told Ashley you found some text messages, and Ashley asked me for the truth.”
“Text messages and pictures, yes.”
She groaned. “I’m sorry.”
Jacky hated to ask the next question, but she needed to know. “Did you love her?”
Despair hung on her face. “I didn’t mean to.”
Jacky believed her. Just as surely as she didn’t want to say those hurtful words about Sophie, Kate truly never set out to maliciously fall in love with her wife. Love was not malicious, even though the biting end of it could cut deep.
“When did you first know?”
“The moment she asked me how to do a roundhouse kick.”
First moments could never be forgotten. “She had my heart at what’s your dog’s name.”
A funny thing started to happen as they gripped their memories. Jacky could feel Drew with them, and the anger that took up company in Jacky’s heart since finding out thinned into vapor and began to float away. Their regrets disappeared and opened up a new path to the future, one that hinted of new beginnings and an earnest desire to learn from the mistakes of yesterday to help balance out the mistakes that would undoubtedly come into the swing of the future.
“So we both loved her,” Jacky said, accepting the truth of the matter with as open a mind as possible. She and Sophie needed closure, and Jacky relied on the faith that facing and accepting the truth would give it to them.
“We did,” she agreed. “But, she loved you more.”
Jacky whimpered.
“You were her home and life. I was more of a joyride that got old fast.” Pain etched in her eyes. Standing in her doorway, Kate wrapped her arms around herself, losing her battle against the tears.
Together they shed them, sobbing over their losses, losses equally as painful and everlasting.
“Can I ask you a question?” Jacky asked, wanting to understand the hollowness in Drew the night before she died.
“Of course.”
“Did you have a fight the night before she died?”
Kate looked to the ground. “She told me she couldn’t do it anymore. She wanted to end it. The morning she died, she was on her way to my house.”
A new blow struck Jacky. “She said you had a dojo full of kids.”
“She was coming to explain to me why she had to end it.”
“You never got to find out?”
“She didn’t have to say it. I already knew. She loved you more.”
Chapter Eighteen
Brooke took out a honeycomb tray and stared at the capped honey-filled cells. The process would always mesmerize her. The bees born in the autumn would likely live four to five months through winter, surviving on the stored honey. They would have plenty of it to see them through to springtime. Soon, it would be time to cover their hives and ride out the winter without them.
She dreaded the lonely months ahead of her, trying her best to get past the bitterness. Would Jacky and Sophie have been better off had they not learned about Drew’s secret? No. They would have lived under the shadow of a lie. The truth hurt, but at least a person could do something constructive with the truth. They could rebuild and grow. Without growth, there would be no momentum, no exhilaration, and no joy for what the open field had to offer.
The truth always outshone a lie.
To hide in the shadows of ignorance and deception only undermined the future. It extinguished the very flame that brought magic to the banality of routine and rigid definitions for what life was supposed to be instead of embracing what life could be.
Someone like Drew never learned the value of intentional rest, to be in that place of harmony when life breathed in sync with her. She preoccupied herself so much with trying to get somewhere else that she forgot to look around and enjoy the present.
Brooke put the tray back and sealed the lid on the hive. “I need to take my own advice and be patient with life.” She patted the lid and warmed at the love and harmony of her bees, trusting in the process of life. “All in good time.”
~ ~
Around dinner time, Jacky returned home and found Sophie cooking chicken and rice.
Jacky sat down on the stool. “I paid Ashley’s mom a visit.”
She paused in her stirring of the rice. “How did it go?”
“Better than I expected.”
“So you didn’t smash any windows or punch her in the face?”
Jacky smirked. “I wanted to. But, then she opened the door and I saw a look on her face that caught me off guard.”
Sophie wrinkled her nose. “What do you mean?”
“She loved your mom.”
She continued to stir. “You’re okay with that?”
“I’m sad that your mom loved her too. It’s sadness, not anger. I felt sorry for her.”
“Ashley’s still embarrassed.” Sophie poured Adobe seasoning into the rice. “She’s afraid this is going to ruin our friendship.”
Enough destruction had already been done. “Don’t let it destroy you both.”
“I won’t.” She stirred, angling toward Jacky. “Do you love Brooke?”
“Of course. She’s awesome. Who doesn’t love her?”
She put down the spoon. “No. I mean really love her.”
“Yeah.” Jacky rested on that admission. “Yeah, I do.”
“Then don’t let their affair destroy you both, either.”
Jacky took in her earnest plea. “I don’t intend to. I just need a little time to process it all.”
“Good thing she’s patient,” Sophie said picking her spoon back up. “But, she’s not a honeybee. Her patience will eventually run out if you wait too long.”
“Spoken like a true beekeeper.”
Sophie winked and took out two plates from the cabinet. “Hungry?”
“Starved.”
~ ~
Jacky took Sophie’s advice and didn’t take too long. The heart knew what it knew.
She drove the long way around town, past the busy streets and onto the quieter, country roads where the colorful foliage met the bright blue fall sky. She rolled the window down and let the fresh air filter in, filling her with new vitality.
As she closed in on Brooke’s neighborhood, she spotted the crazy, fun-loving beast, pulling Brooke along behind her like a twig.
There was such beauty in imperfection.
Within the noise and chaos lived a rawness that created action and surprise, jolting the predictability of the mundane off its axis and freeing one to explore what lay beyond the ordinary. The truth in chaos frees the soul. Yes, it frees it and helps it see past the grooves and dents and into the heart of its flame. Jacky blinked back joyful tears. Into that part deep within. The part that craves to be swept up in its rapture. Where real passion ignites. Where the real dance of the soul comes alive.
She watched Brooke struggle for control as Bee lunged toward the adventure of life, one passionate bark at a time. When she neared Brooke’s driveway, she pulled in and waited for them to return.
She waited for them under the mighty oak tree in the side yard, looking up at its thick and knotty branches. She inhaled and took in the earthy aroma of the fallen leaves at her ankles, enjoying the rustle of them as she kicked them with her feet.
She listened to the squirrels play in the branches above. She connected to the simple and grand undertows of the moment. For the first time in a long time, silence comforted her. Her heart reflected back a wishful, thankful beat.
When she opened her eyes, Bee bolted toward her. She bent down to pet her, then looked up and noticed Brooke standing with her hands tucked into the front pockets of her jeans. Everything in her pose told her to move forward, to embrace that small pocket of time where nothing el
se mattered but the silence of her mind and the openness that silence created in her heart.
Jacky had lived so long under the blanket of her mourning and guilt that when she finally looked up and took it all in, every detail she had missed, she wanted to embrace and enjoy the life and love dancing around her.
Life happened whether orchestrated or not. No matter what life tossed at her, she knew now that she’d be okay.
The love on Brooke’s face told her that she didn’t have to go through any of that alone.
If a bee could live up to forty something days and thrive in its richness without care of its demise, she could surely change her life and trust in its new direction.
She walked toward Brooke one slow step at a time, taking in her loving eyes. Meanwhile, Bee jumped and pranced around her. “I hear you might be in need of a dog trainer?”
A gleam rested in Brooke’s eye. “She’s a beast.”
“A beast?”
“A total beast.”
They stood within arm’s distance, smiling and taking each other in. “I hope I’m not too late,” Jacky said.
Brooke cradled Jacky’s hand. “Better late than never.”
Embracing the energy flowing between them, Jacky stepped in closer and planted a soft kiss on her forehead. “I see someone has been a very bad student.”
Brooke giggled at Bee as she frolicked around their feet, whining for attention. “She has been.”
Jacky planted another soft kiss on her forehead. “You and I both know I’m not talking about Bee.”
Brooke warmed under her touch, folding into Jacky’s arms. “I guess we should get started then?”
Jacky cradled Brooke, enjoying the beat of her heart against her own. “I’m not in any rush.”
They cuddled under the tall oak tree for a long while, wrapped up in the earthy aroma of the fresh fall day. Jacky trusted in that moment, the moment when grace swept in and offered her the gift to dance with life again.
The Following Spring
On a beautiful April morning, the whole gang met up at the park along with a hundred other people. At the helm of their crowd stood Sophie and her best friend, Ashley.
Many were there to take part in their first ever community Save-a-Bee project, including Marie and Hazel with their matching bright yellow bee sweatshirts, Tom and Elise, and of course Brooke.
Sophie and Ashley called for the crowd’s attention with megaphones. They stopped and giggled, likely at the sound of their voices as they echoed off the trees.
“What on this God’s green Earth did you feed those girls for breakfast?” Marie asked. “They’re going to wake the bears from hibernation with those cackles.”
“Oh shush.” Hazel elbowed her. “Marie’s just grouchy because she’s drinking decaf again.” Hazel rolled her eyes.
“Not by my choice.” Marie pointed her finger. “She’s on her health kick again, worried I’m going to have a heart attack because some magazine article told her caffeine was bad. Next month, it’ll be good again and she’ll be pouring me ten cups of coffee.”
Elise nudged Jacky. “Do they always do this?”
“Relentlessly.”
Tom curled up around Elise and placed his hands on her shoulders. “They sound just like us.”
“You all bicker too much, if you ask me,” Brooke said. “Sounds like they need a trainer.”
“I stop at dogs.” Jacky said, matter-of-factly.
“Hazel and I are just looking out for their health,” Elise said. “They’re the ones who bicker and make us look like the bad ones.”
Hazel nodded. “You’re damn right about that.”
“Hey, you two,” Sophie called out over the megaphone. “With the matching yellow sweatshirts.”
Marie and Hazel both pointed to themselves.
“Yeah, you.” Sophie’s voice curled up around them. “Stop bickering.”
Hazel and Marie nudged each other, muttering under their breaths like a couple of teenagers caught cheating on a test.
Jacky put her arm around Brooke and took in the view. What a spectacle her new Inner Circle had become. Sure they quarreled and groaned along the way, but one thing remained true – they all cared deeply for the person who stood at the helm of their hive, and would do just about anything to protect her wonderful, trusting, and giving heart.
Since meeting Brooke, she and Sophie both learned the trick to moving on. They had to find something outside themselves, something far more purposeful than their sum.
Jacky listened to her daughter educate the crowd about honeybees. She talked about their value to the world, and simple ways to help save them by doing things like planting wildflowers in window boxes, avoiding the use of pesticides, supporting organic farmers, allowing weeds to grow, and taking action by signing petitions banning the use of chemicals in farming and public landscaping.
“The cool thing about bees,” Sophie said, “is that they work together for the betterment of society. They are the ultimate role model for a collaborative, healthy community. Their communication skills keep them alive and thriving. They’re the perfect exchangers of information, trusting and attentive to each other in a way that enriches their relationships and offers them a deep connection to the environment in which they live. They’re the keystone to our world as we know it, and it’s imperative we protect them as if our life depends on it, because it does.”
Jacky and Brooke held each other tighter, absorbing Sophie’s profound speech. Her words offered Jacky courage and hope that together they could weather anything life tossed at them, as long as they stayed open to honest communication, forgave each other for their mistakes, and danced with an open heart and mind through all of life’s ups and downs.
The End
NOTE FROM SUZIE CARR
As with all of my books, I enjoy giving a portion of proceeds back to the community by donating to the NOH8 Campaign www.noh8campaign.com and Hearts United for Animals www.hua.org. Thank you for being a part of this special contribution.
A SPECIAL REQUEST
If you enjoyed reading this story, I’d be so grateful for your honest review of it. Just a sentence or two will help others discover The Dance and help me to serve you better with future books!
(www.amazon.com/author/suziecarr)
ENDNOTES
Winston, Mark L. (2014-10-06). Bee Time: Lessons from the Hive. Harvard University Press.
Acknowledgements
This book is a result of the combined efforts of many people. With your generous guidance and expertise, I learned a great deal about honeybees, love, friendship, forgiveness, and communication. Steve and Kathy, your generosity has opened up a whole new level of awareness in me. Thank you for welcoming me into your bee apiary and home. Your love for and devotion to honeybees is touching beyond words, and I am so grateful you allowed me to experience that magic for myself. Dr. Marla Spivak, I will forever be in awe of your work, and am grateful you took the time to direct me to Bee-Time: Lessons from the Hive by Mark Winston, the book that set my research into motion. To Amanda Robertson, your artistry is awe-inspiring. Thank you for the gift of the magnificent cover photograph that captures the true essence of The Dance. To Diane Marina and Dorina, as always thank you for being my sounding board during those critical early periods when I have just an idea floating around my head, one that you both help me to sculpt into a story worth telling. To my editor, JoAnne, thank you for always giving my work your keen eye and generous care. To Jennifer, Deborah, Felicia, Angela, and Alak, thank you for the gift of your time, honesty, and insights. You helped me turn this idea into a piece of work I am proud to share. Thanks for that confidence! And to my Sunshine, thank you for teaching me how to love, let go, and trust in the process of this magnificent life.
Also by Suzie Carr:
The Fiche Room
Two Feet off The Ground
Tangerine Twist
Inner Secrets
A New Leash on Life
The Muse
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Staying True
Snowflakes
The Journey Somewhere
Sandcastles
Keep up on Suzie’s latest news and projects:
www.curveswelcome.com
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