I opened the doors. I walked carefully on the marble in the heels that I’d worn to please the twins. I thought about taking off the shoes, but I wanted outside first. The dogs’ nails clicked on the floor. The Red Caps stood when I entered.
They went down on one knee, even Jonty. “My queen,” he said. “Not queen yet, Jonty,” I said.
He grinned up at me, and it was strangely unfinished without his pointy teeth and more frightening face. It didn’t quite look like him until I saw his eyes. Jonty was still in there in those eyes.
“Once all rulers were chosen by the gods. It is the old way. The way such things are meant to be done.”
I shook my head. I had never wanted less to be ruler of faerie. The cost, as I’d feared, was so terribly high. Too high.
“Your words are well meant, but my heart is heavy.”
“The Killing Frost is not gone.”
“He will not help me raise his child. That is gone, Jonty.” I started across the vast floor toward the far doors. The windows were a line of brightness. I realized with a start that it had been night when we began this, and was still night outside the main house, but through the windows it was bright day. The sunlight had moved, shadows changing across the floor in the hour since it had appeared, but it ran on a different time than the outside world. It was as if the doors led into the heart of this new sithen. Was this our garden? Our heart of faerie?
Mungo bumped my hand. I stroked his solid head and looked into those eyes. Those eyes that were just a little too wise for a dog. Minnie rubbed against my other leg. They were telling me in the only way they could that I was right.
Rhys and Doyle said that the night we had conceived the babies inside me had been a night of wild magic, but this was wild magic, too. This was creation magic, and that was ancient magic. The most ancient magic imaginable.
The doors opened without my hand reaching out. The breeze was cool and warm at the same time. There was a scent of roses.
I stepped through the doors. They closed behind me and vanished. It didn’t frighten me. I had wanted to be outside, and the hallways had changed for me. Inside the Unseelie sithen I could call doors. I didn’t want a door right now. I wanted to be alone. The dogs were about as much company as I could stand. I wanted to grieve, and those closest to me were too torn between happiness and sorrow. Sorrow for Frost, but happiness at being kings. I could not bear the mingling of joy and sadness in them anymore. I would be joyful later. But for now, I needed to give myself over to other things. I stood in the center of a sun-drenched clearing with the dogs on either side of me. I raised my face to the heat of that sun and let go of my control. I gave myself over to my grief, with no hands to hold me and be happy. I held the grass-covered earth, the warmth of the dogs’ fur, and finally wept.
CHAPTER 25
HANDS SLID OVER MY SHOULDERS. I STARTED, THEN TURNED to find Amatheon. His copper hair was haloed in the bright sunlight so that for an instant his face was lost to the brilliance. He seemed made for this new faerie of sunshine and warmth.
I let him hold me, tired from my weeping, exhausted in mind and body. I had had the greatest news of my life today, and some of the saddest. It was like being granted your favorite wish and then being told that the price would be your dearest love. It wasn’t fair, and the moment I thought it, I knew that was a child’s thought. I was not a child. Life was not fair, and that was just truth.
Amatheon raised my face to his with a gentle hand on my chin. He kissed me. The kiss was gentle, and I gave him gentle back. Then his hands on my back pressed me more tightly against him. His mouth became insistent on mine, asking me with tongue and lips to open for him.
I pushed against his chest so that I could see his face. “Amatheon, please, I have just lost Frost. I…”
He pressed his mouth to mine hard enough that I had a choice of opening my mouth for him or cutting my lips on his teeth. I pushed at him, harder.
The dogs gave a soft growl like music in unison.
I felt something around his mouth that shouldn’t have been there, almost like a mustache and beard. The sunlight dazzled my eyes, and the sensation was gone.
He pressed me to the ground. I pushed at him again, and yelled, “Amatheon, no!”
Mungo rushed in and bit his arm. Amatheon cursed at him, but it wasn’t the right voice.
I stared at the man above me. Sorrow was gone in a wash of fear. Whoever this was, it wasn’t Amatheon.
He leaned over to force a kiss on me again. I raised my hands and tried to keep his face from mine. The moment the queen’s ring touched his bare skin, the illusion vanished. The sunlight seemed to dim for a moment, then I was staring up at the face of Taranis, King of Light and Illusion.
I didn’t waste time on surprise. I accepted what my eyes told me and acted. I said, “Door, bring me Doyle.”
A door appeared beside us. Taranis looked shocked. “You want me. All women want me.”
“No, I don’t.”
The door started to open. He raised a hand and sunlight hit the door like a bar of steel. I heard Doyle’s voice, and others, yelling my name.
The dogs rushed him, and he rose to his knees, spilling golden light from his hands. It raised the hair on my body and forced another scream from me.
My eyes were dazzled by the light. I had a ruined glimpse of my hounds lying burned. Mungo was staggering to his feet to try again.
Taranis was on his feet, with my wrist in his hand. I fought to stay on the ground, to not go with him. Doyle and the others were just on the other side of the door. They would come. They would save me.
Taranis’s fist came out of the light, and the world went dark.
CHAPTER 26
I CAME TO SLOWLY, PAINFULLY. THE SIDE OF MY FACE ACHED, and my head felt like someone was trying to beat their way out of my skull. The light was too bright. I had to close my eyes, shield them with my hand. I drew the silk sheet across my breasts. Silk?
The bed moved, and I knew someone was with me. “I have dimmed the lights for you, Meredith.”
That voice, oh Goddess. I blinked my eyes open and wished I could believe it was a dream. Taranis was propped up on one elbow beside me. The white silk sheet rode low at his waist. The hair that traced his chest was a more solid red than the sunset color of his hair. A line of hair trailed lower, and I truly did not want him to prove that he was a natural redhead.
I held the sheets to my breasts like a virgin startled on her wedding night. I thought of a dozen things to say, but finally said, “Uncle Taranis, where are we?” There, I’d reminded him that I was his niece. I wasn’t panicking out loud. He’d already proven he was crazy in the lawyer’s office. He’d proved it again by knocking me unconscious and bringing me here. I was going to be calm, for as long as I could.
“Now, Meredith, don’t call me ‘Uncle.’ It makes me feel old.”
I stared up into that handsome face, trying to see some sanity that I could reason with. He smiled down at me, looking charming, and unworldly handsome, but there was no hint that what was happening was wrong, or strange. He acted as if nothing was wrong. That was more frightening than almost anything he could have done.
“All right, Taranis. Where are we?”
“My bedroom.” He made a gesture, and I followed the line of his hand.
It was a room, but it was edged with flowering vines and trees espaliered to the wall, heavy with fruit. Jewels winked and glittered among the verdant plant life. It was almost too perfect to be real. The moment I thought it, I knew I was right. It was illusion. I did not try to break it. It did not matter that he used magic to make his room look lovely. He could keep his decorating tricks to himself. Though part of me wondered how I had been so sure so soon that it wasn’t real?
“Why am I in your bedroom?”
He frowned then, just a little. “I want you to be my queen.”
I licked my lips, but they stayed dry. Should I try reason? “I am heir to the Unseelie throne. I cannot be both
your queen and queen of the Unseelie Court.”
“You never have to go back to that awful place. You can stay here with us. You were always meant to be Seelie.” He leaned in, as if to kiss me again.
I couldn’t help it. I recoiled from him.
He stopped, frowning again. He looked like he was thinking and it hurt. He wasn’t a stupid man. I think it was just another symptom of his madness. He knew, in some part of him, that he was in the wrong, but his madness wouldn’t let him see it.
“Don’t you find me handsome?”
I told the truth. “You are always handsome, Uncle.”
“I told you Meredith, not Uncle.”
“As you like. I find you handsome, Taranis.”
“But you react as if I am ugly.”
“Just because a man is handsome doesn’t mean I want to kiss him.”
“In the mirror, if your guards had not been with you, you would have come to me then.”
“I remember.”
“Then why do you recoil from me now?”
“I do not know.” And that was the truth. Here, in the flesh, was the man who had nearly overwhelmed me numerous times from a distance with his compulsion magic. Now I was here alone, and he did nothing but frighten me.
“I am offering you everything your mother always wanted from me. I will make you queen of the Seelie Court. You will be in my bed and in my heart.”
“I am not my mother. Her dreams are not mine.”
“We will have a beautiful child.” Again he tried to kiss me.
I sat up, and the world ran in streamers of color. Nausea made me gag. Gagging made the headache worse. I leaned off the side of the bed and was sick. Throwing up made my head feel as if it would explode. I cried with the pain of it.
Taranis came to the side of the bed. Through the ruin of my sight, I saw him hesitate. I saw the revulsion on his handsome face. It was too messy for him, too real. There would be no help from him.
I had all the symptoms of a concussion. I had to get to a human hospital, or a true healer. I needed help. I lay on the edge of the bed, my uninjured cheek resting on the silk sheet. I lay there waiting for my head to stop throbbing in time to my pulse, praying that the nausea would pass. Lying very still made it better, but I was hurt. I was hurt and I was mortal, and I wasn’t sure Taranis would understand that.
He didn’t touch me. He reached for a bell rope. He called servants. Fine with me. They might be sane.
I heard voices. He said, “Bring the healer.”
A woman’s voice. “What is wrong with the princess?”
There was the sound of a hand hitting flesh. He roared at her, “Do as you are told, wench!”
There were no more questions, but I doubted that any of the servants would ask again what had happened to me. They would know all too well.
I think I passed out again, because the next thing I knew was a cool hand on my face. I looked carefully, moving only my eyes into the woman’s face. I should have known her name, but I could not think of it. She was golden of hair with eyes that were rings of blue and gray. There was a gentle air to her, as if by simply being closer to her I felt a little better.
“Do you know your name?”
I had to swallow past the bitterness of bile, but finally whispered, “I am Princess Meredith NicEssus, wielder of the hands of flesh and blood.”
She smiled. “Yes, you are.”
Taranis’s voice came from behind her. “Heal her!”
“I must first ascertain how badly injured she is.”
“The Unseelie guard went mad. He tried to kill her rather than see her go with me. They would rather have her dead than lose her.”
The healer and I exchanged a look. The look was enough. She put a finger to her lips. I understood, or hoped I did. We wouldn’t argue with the crazy man, not if we wanted to live. And I wanted to live. I carried our children. I would not die now.
Frost was gone, but there was a piece of him inside me, growing, alive. I would keep it that way. Goddess help me, please, help me escape in safety.
A male voice that was not Taranis spoke from behind her, “Do you smell flowers?”
“Yes,” the healer said, and she gave me another look that was too knowing for comfort. She motioned at the male voice and he stepped into view. He was tall and blond and handsome, and the epitome of Seelie sidhe breeding. Except that he didn’t look arrogant; he looked nervous, maybe even a little afraid. Good. I needed him not to be stupid.
I whispered, “Goddess help me.”
The scent of roses was stronger. A breeze played along my bare skin, made the sheets on my legs move with the touch of it.
The guard looked toward where the breeze was coming from. The healer looked at me. She smiled, even as her eyes looked too grave for comfort. She bore a look that you never want to see on a doctor’s face.
“How hurt am I?” I spoke softly and carefully.
“There may be bleeding inside your head.”
“Yes,” I said.
“Your eyes are equal. That is a good sign.”
She meant that if one of my pupils had been fixed, I would be dying. So that was good news.
She began to mix herbs from her leather bag. I didn’t know what everything was, but I knew enough of herbal medicine to caution her.
“I carry twins.”
She leaned close to me and asked, “How long?”
“A month, a little more.”
“There are many things I cannot give you then.”
“Can you not lay hands on me?”
“No healer in this court retains that power. Is it true that some in your court do?” She whispered the last into my ear, so close her breath moved my hair.
I whispered back, “True.”
“Ah,” she said, and leaned back. There was a smile on her face now, and a new sense of contentment that had not been there before. The scent of roses was stronger. I half expected the strong perfume to make the nausea worse, but instead, it eased.
“Thank you, mother,” I whispered.
“Would you feel better if your mother was with you?” the healer asked.
“No, absolutely no.”
She nodded. “I will do my best to see that your wishes are met.”
Which probably translated to my mother being insistent. She had never had much use for me, but if I were suddenly going to be queen of the court she most coveted, then she would love me. She would love me with the same power that she had hated me with for years. She was nothing if not fickle, my mother. One of my names at the Seelie Court was Besaba’s Bane. Because my conception from one night of sex had condemned her to be at the Unseelie Court for years. It had been the marriage that had cemented the treaty between the courts. No one had dreamt that if neither court was breeding, a “mixed” marriage might be fertile.
The hatred and fear of the Seelie for the Unseelie showed in nothing so much as the fact that with my birth, there had not been offers from the Seelie court for more unions. They would rather die out as a people than mix with our unclean blood.
Looking into the healer’s face, I wasn’t certain that all the Seelie agreed with that decision. Or maybe it was the scent of roses growing stronger. All the flowers and vines of Taranis’s room, and there had been no scent. It had looked pretty, but…it wasn’t real. I knew in an instant of clarity that it was like much about the Seelie Court: illusion.
Illusion you could see and touch, but it was not true.
The healer stood and whispered to the guard. He took up a post beside me. Two servants came and began to clean the mess I’d made. Trust the Seelie Court to be more concerned for appearance than truth. They would clean up the mess even before I was healed, or before they were certain that I could be healed.
One of the servants had a fresh cut on her cheek and the beginnings of swelling. Her eyes were brown, and her face, though pretty, looked too human. Was she like me, someone of part-human parentage, or was she one of the mortals lured into faeri
e centuries ago? They got immortality, but if they ever left faerie, all their long years would catch up with them instantly. They were more trapped than any of us, for to leave faerie was true death to them.
She gave me a frightened look as she cleaned. When I did not look away, she held my gaze. There was a moment of great fear in her face. Fear for herself and, maybe, fear for me. Fear of Taranis. Someone had said that the Cu Sith had stopped him from striking a servant. Where was the Cu Sith now?
Something scratched at the door. I did not need to see the door to know that it was something large wanting inside.
Taranis’s voice. “Chase that beast away from my door.”
“King Taranis,” the healer said, “Princess Meredith is beyond my ability to heal.”
“Heal her!”
“Many of the herbs I would use would harm the children she carries.”
“Did you say children?” he asked, and he sounded almost normal, almost sane.
“She carries twins.” She had simply taken my word for it. I appreciated that.
“My twins,” he said, and his voice was back to that arrogant crowing. He came back to the bed, sat on it, made me bounce. The headache and nausea roared back to life. I cried out as he scooped me up in his arms. The movement was agony.
I screamed, and the sound hurt me, too.
Taranis seemed frozen by my scream. He stared down at me, almost childlike in his lack of comprehension.
“Do you want your children to die?” the healer said from beside him.
“No,” he said, still frowning and confused.
“She is mortal, my king. She is fragile. You must let us take her somewhere where they can heal her, or your children will die unborn.”
“But they are my children,” he said, and it was more question than fact.
She looked at me, then said, “Whatever the king says is truth.”
“She bears my children,” he said, and he still sounded a little unsure of himself.
“Whatever the king says is truth,” she repeated.
A Lick of Frost Page 23