That moment of triumph is soon followed by writer's anxiety as I turn it into a PDF and send it off to my beta readers.
What if it is garbage?
What if the chemistry is off?
Was Caden sexy or alpha enough?
Will they think Bridget is a bitch?
Shaking it off, I post it and step away from my computer. If I hover, I'll keep refreshing the page, searching for feedback as if they can read like Spencer Reid.
I need a Spencer Reid…
I'm going to ignore that I'd just wished for a fictional character and pull myself back into reality. Maybe, a trip to the gym will help with my anxiety.
"Yeah, right."
I laugh at myself on my way to the kitchen. I’d accepted my curves a long time ago. No exercise or diet's gonna keep my hips and butt from being the biggest thing on my body. It's true, I could shrink them, and my stomach could be flatter, but...ice cream.
"It's more like Henny and telly time."
I'm talking to no one since I live alone, but that's neither here nor there. As a bestselling author, I've earned the right to be quirky. Stretching my body to my tippy toes, I grab the Hennessy, being careful not to drop it and hit myself in the head. My face remains scrunched in a frown the entire time because I'm convinced my sister does this shit to fuck with me. She knows I'm five-two. Imma trip her tall ass the next time I see her.
Yes!
Bottle and glass of ice in hand, I drop down in the center of the couch and prepare to get tipsy and veg out for the rest of the day. But first, I must update and check my social media.
After bragging about finishing my latest book, and sharing it to all platforms, I move to my messages and notifications. I smile at the three messages from my author friend. I've been sending her parts of the book, a scene at a time. She'd be one of the first people who would be capable of supplying instant feedback. Her responses make me giggle.
AuthorFrenchie: Girrrrllllll!
AuthorFrenchie: *woman fanning herself gif*
AuthorFrenchie: That damn Caden! I fucking love him. I'm having his babies tomorrow!
I laugh out loud as I send her laughing emojis. Her responses are comical for two major reasons. The obvious one: Caden is fictional, and since I have a penchant for slightly broken anti-heroes, he'd drive her nuts if he were real. And two, she's married and has already had her husband's child.
Ella: I take it you liked the ending?
AuthorFrenchie: I'd marry that ending! I'm claiming him, and I'm fighting with your readers for him. IDC. IDC. Lol
Ella: Claim him then! Lmao.
AuthorFrenchie: Have and will! Are you gonna take a break or jump right into the next?
Ella: A little of both. I have a million WIPs, but I'll ignore those characters until next week.
AuthorFrenchie: I'm ignoring my book right now. I feel like it's boring as hell.
Ella: Being that your books are romantic comedies, I doubt it's boring.
AuthorFrenchie: Tuh. I'll send it to you. I'm on strike.
I chuckle because she's extra.
Ella: Okay, I'll read it after I zone out for a bit.
AuthorFrenchie: No rush. Imma go find the man and the boy, then pretend I'd chosen a different career path.
Ella: You do that in the middle of every book.
AuthorFrenchie: Well, I'm serious this time. I'm legit gonna go dust off one of my degrees.
Ella: Girl, go take a nap.
AuthorFrenchie: That sounds good too.
I'm still smiling at her nonsense while I accept friend requests. I'd stopped trying to investigate each person. I just accept them and block them if they get out of line.
The moment I'm done, I get a notification from one of my new ‘friends.’ It's a wall post.
LucaGirelli: Thank you for the add, Bella!
I snort. "Here we go."
As an author, I try to accept all requests, but it's hard to tell a reader from a social media spammer. I'll keep an open mind until they make their intentions known. The wall post just placed Luca on my watchlist. Either way, I like his post and move on to the next platform.
I have seventeen new followers and a dozen post likes. Usually, I'll check out some profiles but won't follow back until they prove they're following me for the right reasons.
Pursing my lips, I squint at my likes noticing that eleven of the twelve are from Luca Girelli. The same Luca who posted on my page earlier.
What time is it in Italy anyway?
"He's five hours ahead, so it's just before midnight. What are you up to, Mister?" I mumble to my phone like he can answer me. "Oh, lookie a post comment from Luca. Shocker."
I tap to view with my attitude in place but am surprised when I read it.
LucaGirelli: I'm glad you finished Caden's Obsession. I can't wait to see what's in store for him and Bridget.
I have a male fan? I'm not saying men can't be fans of romance, it's just they usually aren't.
Okay, I'll bite.
EllaRoyal: Thank you! You'd have to read Drax's Redemption first.
LucaGirelli: Already have! Just finished it; which means, I’ve read all of your books. Caden appeared to help him save Alia. He was an interesting addition. I'm glad he got his own story.
Well, color me impressed. I sit there for a second looking like a surprised GIF before responding.
EllaRoyal: Very interesting, indeed. Do you want me to add you to the reader's group? It'll be nice to have a male perspective.
LucaGirelli: Yes, please!
I switch social media accounts and add him to my readers’ group, where he immediately starts loving posts and answering questions from previous discussions.
Okay, time to stalk his page. Maybe he shares one with his woman. Even so, I have Italian fans!
I’m fifty-two weeks deep into his Instagram, scrolling very carefully to avoid accidental likes, when I realize he’s either a quite impressive catfisher or someone who looks like him, is actually a fan of mine! He is very much the brown-haired, hazel-eyed attractive Italian playboy with abs for days and a seductive smile. My brain is having trouble accepting he’s finding the time to read my books between all the beach holidays and other exciting ventures I don’t have time to do.
I’ve partially convinced myself that this has to be some sort of joke until I click through his saved stories and stumble upon a video someone had taken of him sleeping with my book resting open on his abs.
Holy shit! He really is a fan, and he buys the paperbacks.
Chapter 2
Luca
"What are you doing, Luc?" I mumble to myself as I type away on my phone to post a counterargument in the group discussion about why I felt it was necessary for Drax to leave Alia when he did.
I can't fucking believe I'm posting a counterargument in a reader's discussion—an American interracial romance group to be specific.
How did I get here?
Alicia.
It is my ex-girlfriend's fault. Before her couple's book club, I was a normal espresso and wine drinking, ready to talk about sports and debate about politics, red-blooded Italian male. Now, I'm stalking romance forums looking for the next ‘dark’ read.
Part of me still thinks the club was started by Alicia's friend to shame their real-life boyfriends and husbands into acting like a ‘book boyfriend.’ I expected to scoff and bitch about how unrealistic and laughable the scenarios were. I didn't expect to blow past two chapters a day and finish it in less than two days. I certainly didn't know I'd feel compelled to go to her fansite and order the limited edition pre-signed paperback. I also didn't realize that I'd feel the need to add the rest of her catalog to my cart. If that's not bad enough, me being too impatient to wait, and going back online to buy her digital catalog is embarrassing.
Correction: It would've been embarrassing had my nose not been in my tablet or her in books, not coming up for air until I'd devoured every word.
I love her anti-hero concept. Flawed peop
le finding perfection in each other and creating a beautiful and unbreakable bond is the kind of love I want to experience.
Too often love stories highlight unstable women with crazy expectations who blow up over nothing, and the guy somehow becomes the one who needs to apologize. If the movies were like that, I wanted nothing to do with a book that would take me hours to read.
I loved discovering that the ‘alphas’ called their women out on their bullshit but still loved them with every molecule of their existence. The sex scenes were a bonus. I'd grabbed Alicia a few times after reading something particularly hot, but she never liked it. Ella Royal's books have me hooked. I was sad to ‘catch up’ because now, I have to wait.
I scroll up to find she's posted a snippet of her new book. She's such a tease. I'm confused that my thought makes my dick stir.
I need to get laid.
"In the meantime…" I whisper to myself as I switch to Instagram.
Her page is mostly promotional posts as expected. Every random picture of her feels like a treat. I stare at her selfie for a moment. She's pretty, her skin is smooth and brown...flawless, really. My fingers itch to touch her cheek. I bet it's velvet soft.
The next picture I find of her is the full body.
Hello, curves.
Her hair was straightened with soft waves. She's wearing light makeup—I like that—and the red, body-contouring dress makes me wish I was one of the fans posing with her in the picture.
The caption read: Tuscan Holiday Author Retreat.
Knowing she was in my country a few months before, I discovered it annoys me on a level I can't fully understand. Maybe I should pay attention to author events.
Would I really go out of my way to meet her?
I scroll to another picture of her hugging some woman. I don't give a fuck who and don't read the caption because it's a side view.
Oh, that ass.
I can tell by her height, in relation to the things around her, she isn't the tallest person in the room by a long shot—petite yet curvy. I like it too much obviously. Why else would I be up late on social media?
I have to release my thoughts, so they don't follow me around all day.
I open my Instagram messenger and send her a DM.
LucaGirelli: You're beautiful and an amazing writer. I wish I'd known of you before your Tuscan event. Maybe next time.
Chapter 3
Elissa
I’m shook—no, I’m shooketh. For two days I’ve reread and then ignored his statement.
“I’m beautiful?” I mumble to myself. I don’t doubt my beauty. I doubt his need to tell me. He hasn’t sent me a DM since, but he still interacts with my group. In fact, he posted a screenshot of a particularly hot scene between Drax and Alia with a caption: ‘Did this make anyone else hot?’
I choked on my coffee when I saw it. I didn’t post a reaction. He has me lurking on my own shit. I ignore the bustle of the coffee shop and squint at my screen. I’m coming out of hiding. I need to network.
But first…
EllaRoyal: Come exorcise this demon from my inbox.
I attach the screenshot of his DM with the link for his page.
AuthorFrenchie: That’s a sexy ass demon. Send him my address.
My bark of laughter has the other customers looking at me sideways.
EllaRoyal: First, you’re gonna get me kicked out of here. Second, I’m telling your husband.
AuthorFrenchie: He’ll be alright. He’s out flying kites with the boy while I sit in a den of darkness, surrounded by nothing but my thoughts.
EllaRoyal: And technology since you’re responding to me.
AuthorFrenchie: That too.
EllaRoyal: And, I’m guessing you’re supposed to be working on your book, which is amazing by the way.
I zone out and start people-watching; the couple diagonal from me is having one of those whisper-shouting arguments.
Ohhh! Plot bunny. Maybe if I do a storyline where...
The ping on my computer pulls me back.
AuthorFrenchie:*Shouting Emoji* YOU DON’T KNOW MY LIFE.
AuthorFrenchie: But you’re right. I’m supposed to be writing.
AuthorFrenchie: Is it? You like it?
EllaRoyal: Yes! There’s nothing wrong with that book. Get to writing.
AuthorFrenchie: Wait. I’m researching ticket prices from Toronto to Italy.
EllaRoyal: LMAO. No need. I have a whole stalker.
AuthorFrenchie: A sexy one, too. What a way to go. Why didn’t you respond?
EllaRoyal: I’m not going to feed his obsession.
AuthorFrenchie: Gurl, he’s already in your backyard. At least make it work for you. I see cover model material. Time for an Italian Alpha.
I stare at her statement for awhile. I do like me some free and low-cost cover models. My readers will love his looks to boot. The real question is if he’ll play along. The chances that he’ll say ‘yes’ should be higher since he’s a fan. Right?
AuthorFrenchie: I feel you thinking about it. DO IT.
EllaRoyal: If I get kidnapped, I’m blaming you.
AuthorFrenchie: Be careful because I don’t have ‘a certain set of skills.’ Lol.
Checking my watch, I realize it’s almost nine o’clock at night for him.
“No better time than the present." I hype myself up as I start a new message.
EllaRoyal: I don't know what to say…Thank you?
LucaGirelli: I thought you ignored me.
I DID! HARD!
EllaRoyal: Just busy. Speaking of looks, have you considered being a cover model? I just so happen to be working on a book with an Italian lead.
LucaGirelli: A cover model! Umm...I must admit, I've never thought about it.
EllaRoyal: And now?
LucaGirelli: What would I need to do?
EllaRoyal: What pics do you have the rights to? Do you have others you didn't share on Instagram?
LucaGirelli: All and yes.
My belly flutters and I don't know why it does. He's in another county, and it's just pictures. I send him my email address.
EllaRoyal: Just in case you decide to be on my cover.
EllaRoyal: You know where to find me.
LucaGirelli: Already sent.
EllaRoyal: Wow. So that's a yes? You want to be on the cover?
LucaGirelli: Yes. If those pictures don't work. Let me know. My cousin is a photographer.
EllaRoyal: Words you never say to an author.
LucaGirelli: Use me.
Taken aback, I stare at his statement for a moment. Luca is so freaking intense, and I’ve hardly spoken to him. I switch chat windows and send Frenchie a screenshot of our conversation.
EllaRoyal: Come and get your friend. I almost passed out when he said ‘use me.’
AuthorFrenchie: Ahhhh! Yes. Use him! Did you look at the pictures, yet? Are they good?
EllaRoyal: He caught me off guard. I need to check.
AuthorFrenchie: Send me some of the good ones.
AuthorFrenchie: For research purposes of course.
EllaRoyal: Uh-huh
Navigating to my email, I open the one from him and download the file.
Hot damn.
A lot of them were most certainly not on his Instagram. These photos are sexier and a hell of a lot more provocative than what he puts out on social media.
Where are his clothes?
He’s not nude but some of these are suggestive. Like a male boudoir shoot.
I take a screenshot of three of my favorites and send them to Frenchie.
AuthorFrenchie: Ohhh! Let’s dust off our passports. It’s time to get international.
EllaRoyal: LMAO! I’m not going. You and the family can send me photos.
AuthorFrenchie: Pick the middle one. It’s something about the way he’s leaning against the window and looking out while practically naked with the sun playing off his face while highlighting his eye color, his waves, and muscles that have me feeling like I’d bu
y the book twice, IJS.
EllaRoyal: I do like that one, too.
I send her another one.
EllaRoyal: What do you think about this one, with the lip biting.
AuthorFrenchie: Gah, let me go divorce my husband, so I can be a hoe.
I send a row of laughing emojis.
EllaRoyal: OMG! He's not going for that. You're locked in.
AuthorFrenchie: I think I'll come join you. I'm getting stir crazy, and my overactive imagination has me feeling like I'm in The Shining or Imma try to leave and the Mr. is gonna Katy Bates me, so I can finish this book.
EllaRoyal: You're so dramatic. I'll be here for hours. I'm feeling inspired.
AuthorFrenchie: I bet…I'm inspired and my H is American.
I name my character and start the first chapter before I'm interrupted again.
LucaGirelli: Are they that bad?
I stare at the screen for a second to allow my memory to catch up. Oh! I never responded about the pictures!
EllaRoyal: No. Sorry, I got lost in a chapter. I wasn't expecting them. They're a different kind of sexy than the pictures you post.
LucaGirelli: Yeah. My team thought it was a good way to sell wine. I opted to stick with the traditional approach. So, you think I'm sexy?
EllaRoyal: Are you fishing for compliments?
LucaGirelli: Not really. Just an honest question. Do you think I'm sexy?
I look around to see if anyone is watching me. I feel like I'm on a hidden camera show. We've gotten here fast. I'm torn between answering him honestly or going back into hiding. He's really pushy to be in another country. I opt to be vague
EllaRoyal: I asked you to be on a cover, so that's something.
LucaGirelli: Why is it so hard for you to answer me? I've already told you you're beautiful. Do you find me desirable?
EllaRoyal: Why is my answer important?
LucaGirelli: Having an understanding is good.
EllaRoyal: What will my answer help you understand?
LucaGirelli: How to talk to you.
EllaRoyal: Meaning?
LucaGirelli: Do you want me to be just a fan of your work, which I am, or can I also be a fan of your body?
A gasp escapes my lips, and I almost drop my coffee. I'm aware that I create insane characters with intense connections, but it's weird being on the receiving end of such forwardness. I'm too wired. Maybe I should switch to a calming tea to make sure I'm not hallucinating.
Cabin Fever Page 53