always something there to remind me—NAKED EYES, BURNING BRIDGES, EMI, 1983.
listen to your heart, before you tell him good-bye— ROXETTE, LOOK SHARP, EMI, 1989.
since u been gone—KELLY CLARKSON, BREAKAWAY, RCA RECORDS, 2004.
hit me with your best shot—PAT BENATAR, CRIMES OF PASSION, CHRYSALIS RECORDS, 1980.
what a girl wants—CHRISTINA AGUILERA, CHRISTINA AGUILERA, RCA RECORDS, 1999.
let us die young, let us live forever—ALPHAVILLE, FOREVER YOUNG, WEA, 1984.
wake me up inside—EVANESCENCE, FALLEN, WIND-UP RECORDS, 2003.
we belong to the light, we belong to the thunder— PAT BENATAR, TROPICO, CHRYSALIS RECORDS, 1984.
somewhere over the rainbow—JUDY GARLAND, THE WIZARD OF OZ, MGM, 1939.
how to save a life—THE FRAY, HOW TO SAVE A LIFE, EPIC RECORDS, 2005.
all you need is love—THE BEATLES, MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR, CAPITOL RECORDS, 1967.
may you always have love—FROM THE POEM “TO MY MOUSE” BY FRANCIS R. MILLER (a.k.a. PAPA, MY GRANDFATHER), 1998.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
In no particular order, many thanks go out . . .
To Lauri Hornik, for her brilliance, patience, kindness, and utter belief in this story (and in me) from day one; to Natalie Sousa and Linda McCarthy for their gorgeous jacket design; and to everyone at Penguin Young Readers for their enthusiasm and support.
To Hannah Brown Gordon and Stéphanie Abou of Foundry Literary + Media, for their dedication and hard work.
To the students and faculty of the Vermont College of Fine Arts—and especially Cynthia Leitich Smith, Rita Williams-Garcia, Lindsey Stoddard, and the League of Extraordinary Cheese Sandwiches, for their friendship and life-changing encouragement. (If you don’t believe in magic, you haven’t been to Montpelier, VT.)
To all of the Razorbills past and present—and in particular to Lexa Hillyer, Laura Schechter, and Pamela McElroy, for their unwavering loyalty, love, and inspiration; to Hamloaf, who was more golden retriever than goldfish (and to Anne Heltzel, for letting me use his name); and to Ben Schrank, for giving me every opportunity, occasionally challenging my sanity, and reminding me to walk when it was raining.
To all of my brilliant and amazing friends who make me so proud to know them; to Janna Wielgorecki, Jesse Lutz, and Heather Mithoefer, for being the sisters I never had; and to Hannah Spencer and Joyce Tang (a.k.a. The-Best-Roommates-Ever-Even-Though-We-Don’t-Live-Together-Anymore).
To Jane von Mehren for hiring me, and to Stephen Morrison for not firing me; to Jordan Goldman and Colleen Buyers for that first ever editorial internship that led me to Penguin, and to Josh Poole for making me weep with laughter all summer long.
To my family, for their constant love and support—and especially to my parents, Patricia, Ben, John, and Kim, for not taking away the flashlight they knew I was hiding underneath my pillow and for buying me every single Sweet Valley and/or Archie comic book on earth (even though my teachers told them not to).
To Stephen Barbara, an agent so extraordinary he gave me no choice but to marry him; to Papa, for his beautiful words and wisdom; and to Mom, my biggest fan, most dependable reader, and best friend. I couldn’t have done this without you.
Finally, to all the boys—from preschool and beyond—who ever broke my heart: Thanks for everything. Revenge may be sweet, but book deals are definitely sweeter.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jess Rothenberg grew up in Charleston, South Carolina, graduated from Vassar College, and spent most of her twenties editing books for teens and middle grade readers. She lives in Brooklyn, where she writes full-time, dances interpretively, and dreams of one day owning a sheepdog named Leo. The Catastrophic History of You and Me is her first novel.
Table of Contents
PART 1
CHAPTER 1
CHAPTER 2
CHAPTER 3
CHAPTER 4
PART 2
CHAPTER 5
CHAPTER 6
CHAPTER 7
CHAPTER 8
CHAPTER 9
CHAPTER 10
CHAPTER 11
CHAPTER 12
CHAPTER 13
CHAPTER 14
PART 3
CHAPTER 15
CHAPTER 16
CHAPTER 17
CHAPTER 18
CHAPTER 19
CHAPTER 20
CHAPTER 21
CHAPTER 22
CHAPTER 23
CHAPTER 24
CHAPTER 25
CHAPTER 26
CHAPTER 27
CHAPTER 28
CHAPTER 29
PART 4
CHAPTER 30
CHAPTER 31
CHAPTER 32
CHAPTER 33
CHAPTER 34
CHAPTER 35
CHAPTER 36
CHAPTER 37
PART 5
CHAPTER 38
CHAPTER 39
CHAPTER 40
CHAPTER 41
CHAPTER 42
CHAPTER 43
CHAPTER 44
CHAPTER 45
PART 6
CHAPTER 46
THE LYRICS, THE ARTISTS, THE ALBUMS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
The Catastrophic History of You And Me Page 26