by Sarah Price
Catherine frowned. “Locked the adjoining door? Does that mean that you don’t ever use that part of the house?”
Shaking her head, Ellie sighed. “Nee, and it’s a shame. It would be much nicer to host worship service in the large gathering room. The windows open more and there’s always a fresh breeze because of it being situated near the woods. But Daed refuses, and when it’s our turn to host worship, we hold it in the oldest section of the house.”
Once again, Catherine found herself pondering the conflicting stories she was learning about Gid. “He must have loved her very much to feel such heartache that he cannot return to the place where she cared for all of you.”
This time, it was Ellie who frowned. She glanced over at Catherine and asked, “Is that what you think? That he chased us away from our home so that he wasn’t tearful over her memory?” Then, softening her tone, Ellie said, “That must be your romantic heart speaking, Catherine. To certain people there are some things more important than love. My daed falls into that category, I suppose.”
Catherine knew enough to ask no more questions. Despite wanting to know more about Ellie and Henry’s maem, she knew that it was not proper to pry into other people’s business, especially when their discomfort was increasingly clear. But she could not deny that her curiosity over this woman, the woman who had borne Henry Tilman, only increased with the air of secrecy that seemed to surround her short life.
“I don’t suppose you would be able to show me that house,” Catherine asked. “I would so like to see it.”
Ellie stopped walking, her arms falling limp to her sides as she seemed to contemplate Catherine’s request. For a long moment, Catherine feared that she had offended her friend and almost wished that she could take back her question. But when Ellie turned to look at her, her eyes bright and full of hope, Catherine knew that no offense had been taken.
“Ja, Catherine,” she said in a soft, even voice. “There is no reason why I should not. I know that Daed has kept everything as Maem left it, but he has never expressly forbid us from entering. Why, you are so right! I would like to see the haus. He has kept it the way Maem did. I just never thought to go there after he locked the door!”
Catherine felt her heart pounding as Ellie took her arm and turned her around, their feet headed back toward the massive farmhouse at the entrance to the path.
“Ja, this is right gut,” Ellie continued as if she were speaking to Catherine, but in reality, she appeared to be reassuring herself. “It has been ten years since Maem passed.”
Catherine’s heart broke for her friend.
“I still miss her every day,” Ellie continued.
“Were you here when she passed away then?” Catherine asked.
“Nee, I was not. Daed had sent me to Banthe to visit relatives. She had been ill for some time, but her death was very sudden. Unexpected.”
Catching herself from gasping, Catherine wondered how her friend had dealt with such a blow at her young age. “I’m so sorry, Ellie,” she whispered. “That’s an empty space that cannot be filled.”
Nodding her head, Ellie met her gaze. “My daed acts as though she never existed. But I miss my muder. I have no memento of her, nothing to hold onto. Although she taught me how to cook and bake and sew from a young age, I’ve had no one to teach me how to be a young woman.” She glanced at the locked door. “And it’s all in there,” she mumbled. “Only ten steps from the very kitchen where I have been cooking and cleaning and serving her sons and husband!” Suddenly, something changed in her eyes. “Why shouldn’t I be allowed to go there?”
With a slight hesitation, Catherine slowed her steps. The last thing she wanted was to get her friend in trouble with her father, especially on her very first day staying at Newbury Acres. “Ellie,” she said. “If your daed is that upset about people seeing the newer section of the house …”
But Ellie cut her off. “Nee, Catherine,” she said in a sharp tone that Catherine took no personal offense to hearing. “It’s not about people seeing the newer section of the haus. It is more that he does not want anyone to remember us living in that section of the haus. My daed has all but banished any memory of our maem. For what reason? There is no way to truly answer that.”
“Oh, help,” Catherine muttered to herself.
“Oh, help, indeed!” Ellie replied sharply. “A child has the right to remember her maem. To push the children out of the haus and lock the door is a terrible thing. And I thank you for encouraging me to challenge him. I have the right to see her kitchen and her quilts. To understand how she organized the kitchen and her pantry! It isn’t as if I’ve had any other maternal leadership since she passed away! How on earth can I pass on her recipes, Catherine, if I don’t have access to what she had written down? My daed has done a grave disservice to me and my own future family by hindering me from learning all of these things.”
By this time, they were approaching the house. Catherine felt grave remorse for having mentioned anything about their deceased mother at all. The last thing she wanted was to upset anyone in the Tilman family, although she wasn’t certain who frightened her more: Henry or his father! Reluctantly, she followed Ellie into the front door of the middle house, knowing that she alone had caused this invasion of Gid Tilman’s house.
“Kum, Catherine,” Ellie beckoned as she went to the forbidden door. “I cannot thank you enough for having given me the courage to do what I have wanted to do for the past ten years!” She gave Catherine a nervous smile. “That is exactly why I wanted you to come here, you know. To give me courage where I normally lack it!”
Catherine finally found her voice. “Please, Ellie,” she pleaded. “Don’t do anything that could jeopardize either of our standings in the family. I’m so looking forward to being here.”
“Hush now,” Ellie said in a light tone. “You were curious about my maem, ja? Well then, it is high time to have your and everyone else’s questions answered! Let no whispers of scandal stop us from doing what should have been done long ago!”
Scandal. It was the exact word that Catherine had been thinking. She recalled John Troyer’s comments that one day about saving her from the Tilmans. And while she had grown to adore Ellie and thought more than highly of Henry, she was, indeed, beginning to feel that a scandal lurked under their roof. Clearly, Gid Tilman had not cared for his wife as much as Catherine would have assumed. From what she could gather, he had married her merely to expand his enormous estate, wanting her property since it adjoined his. Catherine could only wonder if he had courted his wife with false kindness.
Ellie hurried to the kitchen cabinet farthest away from the mysterious door. When she opened it, she began looking through several keys hanging from hooks on the inside. Finding what she was looking for, she took it down and pressed it into her palm. “Here! I have the key!” she said and walked back to the door. “There’s a room in between this kitchen and the one from the other section. We used it for large gatherings and worship services.” Ellie exchanged a look with Catherine as she unlocked the door and, after taking a deep breath, opened it.
The room was dark, the shades having been pulled down so that barely any light filtered through the windows.
“Oh, help,” Ellie muttered. “I best get a flashlight.”
She left Catherine standing there by the open door so that she could rummage under the kitchen sink for a small flashlight. “This should do.”
But no sooner had she flicked it on and taken one step into the room when a deep voice called out from behind them.
“What are you doing, Ellie Tilman?”
Both young women froze. Catherine felt Ellie clutch her hand, squeezing it before turning to face her father. “I … I was showing Catherine the other section of the haus,” she stammered. “I wanted to show her Maem’s quilts and fetch her recipes so we could …”
“Enough!” His voice boomed in the large room. “You know we do not go into that side of the house. And I will not have your maem’s
things brought over.”
Catherine lowered her eyes as she stepped back into the kitchen. She couldn’t believe that Gid’s feelings for his wife were so bitter that he couldn’t bear to see her things. To deny even something as simple as recipes to her only daughter? Something terrible must have happened to her indeed.
Chapter 18
Nothing further was said about Ellie’s maem or Ellie’s attempt to show Catherine her mother’s things. However, Catherine noticed that Gid seemed to look at her in a new, different way. Often, she caught him studying her when he was in the room. Whether or not it was her imagination, she couldn’t decide. But she tried to be on her best behavior and give him no reason to fault her further.
The following day, which happened to be a worship Sunday in Newbury Acres, Catherine stood next to Ellie as they greeted the other women. While Catherine found most everyone to be pleasant and interested in learning more about her, Catherine couldn’t help feeling shy under their inquisitive attention. She clung to Ellie’s side so that she could be properly introduced to the different women who wanted to learn more about her.
“They met you in Banthe,” one woman said. “And you’ve come visiting already?”
Ellie gave the woman a gentle look. “Isn’t that wunderbarr, Naomi? How fortunate I am that her family agreed. It’s so pleasant having a friend at the farm.”
Naomi raised an eyebrow and narrowed her gaze as she studied Catherine. “And what, exactly, does your daed do then?”
Catherine wasn’t used to being the center of attention. Oh, how she wished the service would start! “He’s a farmer. In Fullerton.”
Another woman jumped into the conversation. “Fullerton? Why, that’s a good hour drive by a hired van, ja?”
“Which is exactly why Catherine came to stay with us directly from Banthe, Millie,” Ellie answered quickly.
Catherine noticed that Naomi and Millie exchanged a look, one that she couldn’t quite decipher.
When the two women joined a group of other women to chat, Ellie leaned over and whispered, “They’re the Holden sisters, and they live in town behind the quilting store. They own it and are quite up on all of their gossip of the coming and goings of people.”
“So I sensed,” Catherine replied.
“They’re sisters by birth and they married the Holden brothers, who lost their farm fifteen years back.”
Catherine gasped. “Oh, help!”
“Daed bought the land and leased the farms to their sons.”
For a moment, Catherine didn’t quite understand what Ellie had said. That made no sense to her. Why purchase the land only to lease it back?
As if she read Catherine’s mind, she said in a low voice, “Daed gets the rental income as well as a percentage of Paul and Marvin’s crop sales.”
Startled, Catherine pulled back and looked at Ellie, almost as if her friend might laugh and tell her that she spoke in jest. But the seriousness on Ellie’s face told Catherine the truth. If Gid bought bankrupt farms like that, was he any better than a land baron? She knew about those from Jane Austen novels.
Her opinion of Gid, which wasn’t very positive to begin with, suddenly sank a little bit lower.
That afternoon, when they returned to the farm, she was startled that Gid insisted they all sit together in the large kitchen. He read from the Bible while Henry, Ellie, and Catherine played a game of Scrabble, quietly talking amongst themselves and laughing about the different word combinations that they came up with. When Catherine won the first round, Henry quipped in a good-natured way that it must be all of her reading that gave her such an expansive vocabulary.
“I never knew that qanat was actually a word,” Henry teased they removed the tiles from the board in preparation for another round.
Ellie pointed to the dictionary. “It’s in there.”
“Ah! I don’t argue that it’s in here,” Henry said, tapping his finger against the dictionary and smiling mischievously at the two women seated opposite him at the table. “But how did it get in there?” he asked, pointing to Catherine’s head. “A tunnel from Persia? Only an avid reader would know such a word.”
Catherine shrugged as she helped Henry to shuffle the tiles. “Or someone with a great memory of strange but valid words for Scrabble!”
Henry laughed at her and tossed a tile in her direction. She caught it and placed it back in the box lid where the other unused tiles waited to be selected.
From the other side of the room, Gid grumbled under his breath. The noise was irritating him.
“Perhaps we should take a walk?” Henry suggested, glancing at his father and then back at Ellie and Catherine as he motioned toward the door with his head.
It took a moment for Catherine to catch on. “What? Oh! Ja, that’s a fine idea!” She pointed at the score card. “Besides, I clearly was going to win anyway.”
Henry raised an eyebrow. “I take that to mean a rematch is in order, Catherine Miller?” he teased.
“If you’re going for a walk, get on with it then!” Gid growled. He raised his head from the Bible long enough to scowl at the three young adults. “And don’t take too long. We have to milk the cows at four o’clock.”
Once they escaped the kitchen, Catherine felt as if it were easier to breathe. There was something oppressive about being in the same room with Gid Tilman, and she much preferred to enjoy the company of his children out of earshot from him. All day, Henry had been quiet and somber, even before the worship service. And Catherine noticed him sitting with the preachers and bishop during the fellowship meal. It was almost as if he was one of the church leaders, even though he was not.
She was glad that Henry had suggested that they leave the house for a walk, even if she suspected it was because their father was getting annoyed at their laughter over the Scrabble game.
Slowly, the three of them walked down the lane toward the road. The cows grazed in the paddock behind the barn, and Catherine paused to look at them. Henry stopped walking and turned around to watch her. She could sense his eyes on her. “There’s something about grazing cows,” she said softly. “I missed seeing them while we were at the lake.”
He moved closer to her and followed her gaze. For a moment, he didn’t respond to her comment. Instead, he simply watched the herd as it slowly meandered in the field. They were black and white Holsteins, although there were a few pure black ones here and there. “I’ve always loved working with the cows,” he said at last. “I much prefer farm work to shop work any day of the week. Even though my bruder makes more money and it’s less work for him, I wouldn’t change places with him for anything!”
Catherine turned her face toward him. “There is no price tag for happiness.”
“Quite true.” He continued staring into the field. “If only Daed thought that.”
“What do you mean?”
Henry glanced at her. “My daed does not put happiness before profits. In fact, he insists that all of his children marry into families that will contribute to the growth and expansion of Newbury Acres as an ideal Amish community.”
A gasp escaped her lips. “That’s pride!”
“Indeed it is,” Henry said with a sad sigh.
For a moment, she thought on his words. Was he trying to tell her something? Warn her that a future with him could not be possible? Prepare her for disappointment as far as their friendship went? But then why, she wondered, was I invited here at all? “And what if you find someone,” she asked in a soft voice, “that does not ‘contribute’ to the growth and expansion of Newbury Acres, Henry?”
He gave her a sad smile. “Then, if that were the case, I would be faced with a rather difficult decision, I fear.” He looked away from her gaze. Ellie had continued walking and now stood in a patch of wild daisies, plucking some from the ground to make a bouquet. “Come, Catherine,” Henry said, extending his hand for hers. For the briefest of moments, their hands entwined. “I’ll race you to where Ellie is and we can see which one of us can
collect the most flowers for the kitchen!” He tugged at her hand gently and she followed him, half running down the lane toward where Ellie was.
“Why, look at the two of you!” she laughed when they caught up with her. “Like school children running around in such heat.” Even though she scolded them, she did not look genuinely concerned.
Once each one of them held a large bunch of flowers, they decided to head back to the house.
Gid looked up when they entered, eyeballing the flowers. He nodded his head in approval but returned his attention to his Scripture reading. “‘The flowers appear on the earth; the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land,’” he quoted. “Which reminds me that you should take the buggy to the singing tonight, Henry.” He looked at Catherine as he spoke. “It would be better than walking since it’s being held at the Esh family’s home.”
It was the first time she had heard about a singing that evening. While she wasn’t partial to attending youth gatherings, she knew that she would enjoy a buggy ride with Henry.
Ellie collected their flowers and carried them to the sink. “I’ve a busy day tomorrow. Henry, you wouldn’t mind taking Catherine alone, would you?”
He looked at Catherine and suppressed a smile. “I suppose. If you insist.”
When Catherine’s mouth opened, stunned into silence, he laughed at her.
“You keep teasing me,” she exclaimed in a soft voice so that Gid didn’t hear.
He lowered his voice as well. “And you keep falling for it.”
She blushed.
“Do you enjoy singings?”
His question made her falter. She couldn’t lie, but she didn’t want to miss a buggy ride with him. “I … I do not, Henry, but I would be interested in seeing more of Newbury Acres. Perhaps we could do that instead?”
He nodded his head as he winked at her, lifting his finger to his lips as if indicating that it would be their secret.
By the time Catherine and Ellie prepared supper, it was almost six o’clock. It was late for eating supper but Henry had no help, besides Gid, to milk the cows on Sunday.