by Sarah Price
Fighting the urge to cry, Catherine nodded. She couldn’t speak for fear of losing her self-control. She understood that Gid would be so upset with her for having disobeyed his insistence that no one visit the newer section of the house. However, to throw her out in the middle of the night? He had invited her to stay at the house, and she had never once questioned that he would take care of her as a proper guest. Now, she was to pack in the dark and leave as if she were the worst of sinners? The penalty did not fit the crime, and without another moment of control, she felt a tear slide down her cheek.
“Please tell Henry I’m so very sorry,” she whispered.
“It’s not your fault, Catherine.”
She shook her head, another tear spilling from her eye. “Nee, it is. I … I should have been more forthcoming instead of being discovered in such a manner. Please, Ellie, tell that to Henry and …” She raised her head and, through tear-stained eyes, met her friend’s gaze. “… Please do not hate me, Ellie. You are the very best of friends. Perhaps one day we can move past this and be friends once more?”
Ellie gave her a soft, understanding smile. “Of course, Catherine. But for now, it is best that you start packing. May I help you with something?”
While Catherine changed out of her nightgown, Ellie folded her other clothes and placed them in her suitcase. The silence in the room was deafening, and it was all that Catherine could do to keep to keep her hands from shaking as she finished pinning her dress. After such a wonderful trip to Banthe with the Andersons and to Newbury Acres with Ellie and Henry, she would return home disgraced for disobeying Gid Tilman. How would she explain this to her mother?
“Let me carry this downstairs,” Ellie said in a soft voice. She lifted the suitcase off the bed and started to walk to the door. Before she opened it, she paused. Without looking at Catherine, Ellie stared at the doorknob. “I cannot express how sorry I am that your visit has ended in such a rude, ungracious way,” she said. Then, she reached out and opened the door, quietly passing through the doorway and hurrying to the stairs with the suitcase.
Downstairs, a small kerosene lantern burned in the kitchen, the flame casting a soft glow around the counter where it sat. Catherine glanced at it and was startled to see Gid standing in the shadows, his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl planted upon his face. She paused for a long moment and stared at him. She wished she had the courage to say something to him, to apologize for having gone into the other side of the house. But she couldn’t muster the nerve to open her mouth.
If only she could take back that one day …
“Kum, Catherine,” Ellie said, reaching out to touch her arm. Catherine thought she saw Ellie glance in her father’s direction, a furtive look as if pleading with him to change his mind. “The driver is waiting for you. I will walk you out.”
But Catherine shook her head. “Nee, Ellie. I will go on my own.” She reached down and took the suitcase from her friend. “Danke for everything.”
To her surprise, Ellie leaned over and embraced her. It was a warm gesture that lingered far too long for Gid’s pleasure. He cleared his throat in a gruff manner that indicated it was time for Ellie to step away from Catherine.
“Here’s some money to pay the driver,” Ellie said, slipping some bills into Catherine’s hand.
Catherine pushed the money back at Ellie. “Nee, I have my own money.” She had barely touched any of the money that her parents had given her. But even if she was completely broke, she wasn’t going to accept any charity from Ellie or any other Tilman. Not when she was being sent away like a shunned member of the church.
“Then I guess this is good-bye,” Ellie said. It looked as if she might cry when she whispered, “Good-bye, Catherine.”
“Good-bye, Ellie,” Catherine whispered, averting her eyes once again from where Gid stood, glaring at her. She felt a fresh surge of anger. What type of man threw a young woman out of the house in the middle of the night? And for what reason? Just because she had dared to explore the other side of the house? She shook her head, amazed at this turn of events. When she had been so happy for so long, she now only felt misery tinged with anger at the man who was punishing her with banishment.
Finally, she lifted the suitcase off the ground and turned around, her back toward both Ellie and Gid. She walked to the door, which was already open, and stepped outside. She let her eyes adjust to the darkness before she climbed down the porch steps and headed across the yard toward the awaiting car. Its headlights lit up the lane, and Catherine could see that the driver had dozed off while waiting for her.
She opened the door and pushed her suitcase on the seat before climbing in beside it.
“You all set then?” the man said.
She nodded, and then realizing that he couldn’t see her, she managed to say, “Ja, all set.”
The driver pulled the gear shift down, and the car began to move forward. “Fullerton, right?”
“Ja, Fullerton.”
“Haven’t been that way in a long while,” the driver said as he navigated the car down the lane and toward the main road. “And certainly not at this hour. I hope everything is all right with your family.”
Catherine blinked and stared into the rearview mirror to catch the man watching her. “My family?” she asked.
“Isn’t that why you had to leave so late at night?”
Catherine turned her head so that he couldn’t see her expression. With a heavy sigh, she merely said, “My family’s fine.”
The driver sensed that she didn’t feel like talking and asked no more questions of her. For the next hour, the car moved down the dark roads, away from Newbury Acres and toward Fullerton. Catherine stared out the window, watching nothing as she tried to imagine how she would explain her unexpected return to her parents.
Chapter 26
“What is the meaning of this?” Ruth asked when Catherine showed up at the breakfast table.
She stood at the foot of the stairs in bare feet and her brown work dress, looking forlorn. Her hand rested on the banister as she tried to gain enough fortitude to take that final step and tell her mother that she had been sent away from Newbury Acres in disgrace.
“I’ve come home, Maem,” she said in a soft voice. Reluctant to disturb the sleeping household, she’d told the driver to drop her at the end of the road so that she could quietly creep into the house without alerting anyone. She hadn’t wanted to answer any questions. Not yet. She was tired and embarrassed as well as upset. She couldn’t fathom what had made Gid so angry that he would throw her, a young woman, out of the house in the middle of the night.
But now, with her mother standing before her, Catherine knew that she couldn’t hide from explaining what, exactly, had happened.
Ruth put her hand on her hip. “God gave me two eyes, Catherine. I can see that you’ve returned home.” Ruth’s brows creased as she frowned. “The question, however, is why? You weren’t scheduled to come back till Saturday!”
Catherine looked down at the floor.
“Oh, dear,” Ruth mumbled to herself and hurried across the floor toward her daughter. “What happened, Catherine? Kum.” She reached for her hand and gently tugged so that Catherine had no choice but to follow her mother toward the sitting area. “You best talk now before the kinner awaken and descend upon you. Then you’ll never get a word in edgewise! And they’ll be certain to have lots of questions.”
Sitting in the chair next to her mother, Catherine folded her hands on her lap and stared at them, her shoulders slouched forward and her heart heavy. “They asked me to leave,” she said in a soft voice. “It was all my fault, Maem. But their father turned me out in the middle of the night.”
Her mother’s back stiffened. “What could you have possibly done that could warrant such abuse?”
Once again, Catherine felt conflicted. She didn’t agree with Gid Tilman’s rash decision to expel her from the house in the middle of the night. Yet, in her heart, she knew that she had broken his
rule, no matter how silly a rule she thought it was.
“I … I disobeyed Gid Tilman’s wishes,” she admitted at last.
“It must have been a very big wish to send you home so unexpected.” Ruth reached out her hand and gently caressed Catherine’s back.
She tried to find the words to explain to her mother. “I went into a part of the house that he had closed off and forbidden to me. But I was curious about what was so important to him that needed to be kept secret. Oh, I shouldn’t have done it!” She wrung her hands on her lap. “I realize that now.” She covered her face with her hands. “I shall never see them again. I’m so ashamed.”
Her mother sat beside her while she wept, consoling her as best she could.
“Maem, I love them, Ellie and Henry, I mean,” Catherine whispered at last. “And I have ruined any chance of retaining their friendship.”
“Just friendship?” her mother prodded gently.
Catherine broke into fresh sobs. “And more. With Henry, I disappointed him too. I saw his face and sensed his withdrawal, and we had been so happy! If only I hadn’t let my curiosity get the best of me! I just needed to know whether or not their daed loved their mother, or did he mistreat her like he does so many others. He is so forbidding, Maem, so stern, you can’t imagine. But oh! Why did I go into those forbidden rooms?” A sob escaped her throat and she let her tears fall. “I will never read another romance novel again.”
Her mother cleared her throat. “I’m sure that God’s purpose will be seen soon enough.” She paused for a few seconds as if thinking about something. “Still, I wonder whether we should have learned more about the Tilman family before accepting their invitation. Clearly, they are strange people. Although Wilma spoke highly of them …”
Catherine shook her head. “Nee, Maem. It wasn’t their fault, but mine. I should have listened to their daed’s rules and not been so nosey.”
“Well, except for the ending, the rest of your trip sounded like you enjoyed yourself,” Ruth said. “Wilma told us all about Banthe, and of course, we heard about that woman …” She made a sour face. “Poor James, he was rather distraught over his girl’s change of heart. I don’t understand why young people are so quick to announce their engagement! In our day, we kept things much more secret so that people’s reputations could be protected should one of the parties back out.”
Catherine bit her lower lip to keep from blurting out the truth, how Ida Mae had chased Freddie Tilman. She didn’t know how much information James had shared with his parents, and she knew better than to speak out of turn about anyone else.
The sound of footsteps filtered down the staircase. The younger children were awake. Within minutes, their bare feet thumped on the steps as they ran downstairs to the kitchen.
“Wie gehts?” her brother David cried out as he jumped the last three stairs and landed on the floor. “Catherine’s home! Catherine’s home!” he shouted and ran over to give her a big hug. He was followed by the youngest, George, and the youngest two sisters, Elizabeth and Harriet. The four of them hugged her, wrapping their arms around her waist and shoulders as they fought for her attention.
“My goodness!” she said, forcing her voice to sound much more cheerful than she felt. “Such a greeting! I shall have to go away more often if this is how I’m received when I return!” She looked up at the sound of another set of feet walking down the stairs: her sister Sarah. “Why, hello, Sarah!”
Sarah grumbled at her and walked straight to the coffee pot.
Catherine caught her mother’s eyes and smiled when her mother made a face.
“Well then, Catherine,” her mother said. “Best get started with breakfast, ja?”
But Catherine could hardly move. The younger children hung on her, clinging to her arms and waist as if they would never let her go. She laughed as she tried to extract herself from their grip.
“What was it like, Catherine?” nine-year-old Elizabeth asked. “The lake! Was it everything you thought it would be?”
Catherine gave her one last hug before extracting herself. “Oh, ja, it was beautiful. We went walking almost every day, and the little town was close enough to walk to, too. One day we went berry picking and I made lots of pies and jam with Wilma.”
“Did you go fishing, too?” David asked as he leaned against the back of her chair.
“Not at the lake,” she said slowly.
“Then where?”
She glanced at her mother, but she was already busy preparing breakfast. To Catherine’s relief, her sister Sarah was helping her. “At Newbury Acres,” she stated, returning her attention to the children. “I went fishing at Newbury Acres.”
“Did you catch anything?”
Catherine laughed at her brother. His eyes were almost larger than his head, he was so excited. “Ja, I sure did. I caught a largemouth bass and a crappie.”
Young George’s eyes grew large. “You just said a bad word,” he whispered.
“It’s a type of fish, silly,” Catherine said and hugged him. Oh, it felt good to be at home. Even though she missed Henry and Ellie, she hadn’t realized how much she had missed her own family.
“Who’d’ya go fishing with?” David asked.
Catherine glanced at him and wondered how to respond. “I … well … I went fishing with Henry Tilman. I stayed at their farm at Newbury Acres.”
“Was it a nice farm?” Elizabeth asked.
“It was, ja.” Catherine smoothed down George’s hair, which had ruffled after she had hugged him. “They have a great big haus that is actually three large houses together. But they only live in one part, just the four of them.”
“Aw, man! I bet they don’t have to share rooms!” George said and kicked at the floor with his bare toes.
“No, that they do not.”
“And this Henry?” Elizabeth asked. “Was he a …?”
When her sister didn’t finish the question, Catherine lowered her eyes, but she couldn’t stop the color from flooding to her cheeks. “He was the kindest of men, a truly righteous Christian and all that he should be.”
Harriet leaned against her leg and stared up at her face. “Are you in love with him?”
Quickly Catherine hurried to her feet and forced herself to disentangle herself from her siblings. “Don’t be silly,” she scolded them. “Of course not.” But when she felt her pulse quicken and her palms become sweaty, she knew that she had not spoken the truth.
A wave of panic washed over her as she realized that she would never see Henry Tilman again. He had been upset at her intrusion into their private lives, and as a result, informed his father, who had immediately returned to Newbury Acres to send her away. Whatever love she felt for Henry was certainly in vain, for he would never return her sentiments.
“Leave your schwester be now,” their mother said sharply as she carried a mug of hot coffee over to Catherine. “She’s just gotten home and will have plenty of time to answer your questions about her trip. For now, perhaps you four could go see if Daed, James, and Richard need any help in the dairy.”
Taking the coffee, Catherine gave her mother a look of gratitude as the younger four children scurried outside, David leading Elizabeth and Harriet while poor little George trailed behind trying to keep up.
“Danke, Maem,” she whispered so that Sarah could not hear.
“You sit a while, or busy yourself with unpacking. Sarah will help me this morning.” She turned toward her other daughter. “She’s become quite useful in the kitchen since you left, if I do say so myself.”
Sarah made a face and rolled her eyes, but there was a look of accomplishment about her. Catherine took another seat, cradling the mug of coffee between her hands, and watched as her sister moved about the kitchen with a confidence that had never existed before. Has so much changed in such a short period of time? she wondered. Have I, too, changed? The thought lingered in her mind long after her coffee cooled and the children returned from the barn in time to enjoy their breakfast.<
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Chapter 27
“I’m so sorry about what happened,” Catherine said to her brother James. She was working in the garden and James had come out to keep her company. He sat in the grass while Catherine weeded between the rows of tomato plants. With the children still asking her questions and bothering her about Henry, Catherine had breathed a sigh of relief when her mother sent her to work outside.
James held a stick in his hand and was peeling away the bark with his thumb nail. He looked thinner than when she had last seen him in Banthe and certainly less happy. “I don’t understand what happened,” he said as he broke the stick in half and tossed part of it into the grass. “I thought she loved me.” He looked up at Catherine. “Truly I did.”
She tugged at a weed that was growing up one of the plants. “I did, too, James.” She tossed the weed into the plastic bucket by her side.
“But she apparently loved herself more.”
Catherine gave him a serious look. “Herself? Or money?”
James frowned. “Is that what you think this was about? Money?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “She told me about your letter, the one you had a driver send to her. She seemed rather disappointed that you weren’t going to inherit the farm and that she’d be living in a grossdawdihaus until you could afford your own farm.”
He winced at her words. “For that reason, she left me for another man?”
“A man with more property and money than we could ever imagine.” She leaned back on her heels and stared around her. Her eyes took in the barn and the pastures, the house and the silo. While it wasn’t anything like the Tilmans’ farm, it was home to her. “I don’t see why people feel that they need so much. What we have is just perfect. Sometimes even having just enough is too much. It still leaves people wanting more.”
She thought of Gid Tilman with his five hundred acres and still wanting more. Yet, for all of his desire to accumulate more, he was not a happy man. He might have the best of intentions in creating the farming co-op, but he was not well-respected by his children nor his community. Even his bishop refused to stand up to him, afraid to reprimand Gid about his pride and his focus on his possessions. No matter how much he had, Gid Tilman was a man for whom enough was never enough. He spent his life figuring out ways to keep on building and little to no time on living. What kind of a life is that? she wondered.