Jack Kornfield (2011). Guided Meditations for Self-Healing: Essential Practices to Relieve Physical and Emotional Suffering and Enhance Recovery.
Jack Kornfield (2014). The Healing Power of Love.
Jon Kabat-Zinn (2006). Mindfulness for Beginners: Explore the Infinite Potential that Lies Within This Very Moment.
Joseph Goldstein (2013). Mindfulness: Six Guided Practices for Awakening. Essential mindfulness meditations complement the teachings in the book of the same title.
Kristin Neff (2013). Self-Compassion Step by Step: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.
Pema Chödrön (2012). Awakening Love: Teachings and Practices to Cultivate a Limitless Heart. Pema Chödrön shows us how to shed our emotional armor and open ourselves to limitless love.
Rick Hanson (2012). The Compassionate Brain: Activating the Neural Circuits of Kindness, Caring, and Love.
Sharon Salzberg (2004). Lovingkindness Meditation: Learning to Love Through Insight Meditation.
Sharon Salzberg (2009). Guided Meditations for Love and Wisdom.
Sharon Salzberg and Joseph Goldstein (2011). Insight Meditation: An In-Depth Course on How to Meditate.
Talks from insight meditation retreats (free downloads): www.dharmaseed.org
Guided mindfulness meditation CDs by Jon Kabat-Zinn: www.mindfulnesscds.com
Guided meditation and teaching by Pema Chödrön: www.pemachodrontapes.org
MEDITATION TRAINING
Depending on the teacher, self-compassion is integrated into meditation training to varying degrees. Before you take instruction or go on a retreat, please research your teacher very carefully to determine whether his or her teaching style is compatible with your needs.
To start your search for meditation centers and communities in your area, go to dharma.org/ims/mr_links.html.
For a broad listing of Buddhist meditation centers around the world, go to www.buddhanet.info/wbd/.
The following meditation centers are likely to have teaching and meditation programs that are compatible with the material presented in this book:
United States
Non-Buddhist
Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health, and Society
55 Lake Avenue North
Worcester, MA 01655
www.umassmed.edu/cfm
Insight Meditation Tradition
Barre Center for Buddhist Studies
149 Lockwood Road
Barre, MA 01005
www.dharma.org/bcbs
Bhavana Society
97 Meditation Trail
High View, WV 26808
www.bhavanasociety.org
Cambridge Insight Meditation Center
331 Broadway
Cambridge, MA 02139
www.cimc.info
InsightLA
2633 Lincoln Blvd, #206
Santa Monica, CA 90405-2005
www.insightla.org
Insight Meditation Community of Washington, D.C.
P.O. Box 212
Garrett Park, MD 20896
www.imcw.org
Insight Meditation Society
1230 Pleasant Street
Barre, MA 01005
www.dharma.org/ims
Metta Forest Monastery
13560 Muutama Ln
Valley Center, CA 92082
www.watmetta.org
Mid-America Dharma
455 East 80th Terrace
Kansas City, MO 64131
www.midamericadharma.org
New York Insight Meditation Center
28 West 27th Street, 10th floor
New York, NY 10001
www.nyimc.org
Spirit Rock Meditation Center
P.O. Box 909
Woodacre, CA 94973
www.spiritrock.org
Zen Tradition
Blue Cliff Monastery
3 Mindfulness Road
Pine Bush, NY 12566
www.bluecliffmonastery.org
Boundless Way Zen
Greater Boston Zen Center
288 Norfolk St.
Cambridge, MA 02139
www.boundlesswayzen.org
Deer Park Monastery
2499 Melru Lane
Escondido, CA 92026
www.deerparkmonastery.org
Upaya Zen Center
1404 Cerro Gordo Road
Santa Fe, NM 87501
www.upaya.org
Village Zendo
588 Broadway, Suite 1108
New York, NY 10012–5238
villagezendo.org
Zen Center of San Diego
2047 Feldspar Street
San Diego, CA 92109–3551
www.zencentersandiego.org
Tibetan Buddhist Tradition
Dzogchen Foundation
For teaching and retreat schedule, go to www.dzogchen.org.
Naropa University
2130 Arapahoe Avenue
Boulder, CO 80302
www.naropa.edu
Shambhala Mountain Center
151 Shambala Way
Red Feather Lakes, CO 80545
www.shambhala.org
Tenzin Gyatso Institute for Wisdom and Compassion
P.O. Box 239
Berne, NY 12023
www.tenzingyatsoinstitute.org
Canada
Gampo Abbey
Pleasant Bay
Cape Breton, NS BOE 2PO
Canada
www.gampoabbey.org
For other Canadian meditation centers, go to www.gosit.org.
Europe
Non-Buddhist
Centre for Mindfulness Research and Practice
School of Psychology
Dean Street Building
Bangor University
Bangor LL57 1UT
UK
www.bangorac.uk/mindfulness
Insight Meditation Tradition
Gaia House
West Ogwell, Newton Abbot
Devon TQ12 6EN
UK
www.gaiahouse.co.uk
Kalyana Centre
Eva Bruha
40 John Street Dingle
County Kerry
Ireland
www.kalyanacentre.com/contact.html
Meditationszentrum Beatenberg
Waldegg
Beatenberg CH-3803
Switzerland
www.karuna.ch
Seminarhaus Engl
Engl 1
Unterdietfurt 84339
Bavaria
Germany
www.seminarhaus-engl.de
For other European centers, go to www.mahasi.eu/mahasi/index.jsp.
Zen Tradition
Plum Village Practice Center
13 Martineau
Dieulivol 33580
France
www.plumvillage.org
Tibetan Buddhist Tradition
Shambhala Europe
Kartäuserwall 20
Köln 50678
Germany
shambhala-europe.org
For Shambhala centers worldwide, go to www.shambhala.org/centers.
Sanctuary of Enlightened Action
Lerab Ling
L’Engayresque
34650 Roquerdonde
France
www.rigpa.org/Lerab_Ling.html
Australia/New Zealand
Insight Meditation Tradition
Bodhinyanarama Monastery
17 Rakau Grove, Stokes Valley
Lower Hutt 5019
New Zealand
www.bodhinyanarama.net.nz/
Santi Forest Monastery
100 Coalmines Road
Bundanoon
New South Wales 2578
Australia
santifm1.0.googlepages.com
For other Australian insight meditation centers, go to www.dharma.org.au.
For other New Zealand insight meditation centers, go to www.insightmeditation.org.nz/wiki.
Zen Tradition
For Zen centers in Australia, go to iriz.hanazono.ac.jp/zen_centers/centers_data/australi.htm.
For Zen centers in New Zealand, go to iriz.hanazono.ac.jp/zen_centers/centers_data/newzeal.htm.
Tibetan Buddhist Tradition
Shambhala Meditation Centre Auckland
Greg Lynn Community Centre
510 Richmond Road
Grey Lynn Auckland
New Zealand
www.aucklandshambhala.org.nz
notes
INTRODUCTION
40% of marriages end in divorce: Hurley, D. (2005, April 19). Divorce rate: It’s not as high as you think. New York Times, Retrieved December 14, 2008, from www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html. Kreider, R., & Fields, J. (2002, February). Number, timing, and duration of marriages and divorces: 1996, February. U.S. Census Bureau Current Population Reports.
[Compassion] is the state of wishing: Davidson, R., & Harrington, A. (2002). Visions of compassion: Western scientists and Tibetan Buddhists examine human nature (p. 98). Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press.
cultivate a new relationship to ourselves: Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2, 85–102.
most thoroughly researched of all psychotherapy methods: Walsh, R., & Shapiro, S. (2006). The meeting of meditative disciplines and Western psychology: A mutually enriching dialogue. American Psychologist, 61(3), 227–239.
awareness of present experience, with acceptance: Germer, C. (2005). Mindfulness: What is it? What does it matter? In C. Germer, R. Siegel, & P. Fulton (Eds.), Mindfulness and psychotherapy (pp. 3–27). New York: Guilford Press.
my father met a mountaineer: Harrer, H. (1953/1997). Seven years in Tibet. New York: Penguin Group (USA)/Tarcher.
introduced the Buddhist practice of mindfulness and compassion: Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York: Dell.
Chapter 1. BEING KIND TO YOURSELF
it’s the resentment against suffering that is the real pain: Ginsberg, A. (1997). In Smith, J. (Ed.), Everyday mind (p. 96). New York: Riverhead Books.
there’s “no negation” in the unconscious mind: Freud, S. (1915/1971). The unconscious. In The standard edition of the complete psychological works of Sigmund Freud (Vol. 14, p. 186). London: Hogarth Press.
we typically return to our former level of happiness: Diener, E., Lucas, R., & Scollon, C. (2006). Beyond the hedonic treadmill: Revising the adaptation theory of well-being. American Psychologist, 61(4), 304–314.
The Hedonic Treadmill: Brickman, P., & Campbell, D. T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In M. H. Appley (Ed.), Adaptation level theory: A symposium (pp. 287–302). New York: Academic Press.
How many hippos worry: Sapolsky, R. (2004). Why zebras don’t get ulcers: An updated guide to stress, stress related diseases, and coping (p. 5). New York: Holt.
telomeres: Epel, E., Blackburn, E., Lin, J., Dhabhar, F., Adler, N., Morrow, J., & Cawthon, R. (2004). Accelerated telomere shortening in response to life stress. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 101(49), 17312–17315. Sapolsky, R. (2004). Organismal stress and telomeric aging: An unexpected connection. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 101 (50), 17323–17324.
Embracing Misery in Marriage: Gehart, D., & McCollum, E. (2007). Engaging suffering: Towards a mindful re-visioning of family therapy practice. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 33(2), 214–226.
tracked 650 couples to discover what made marriages successful: Gottman, J. (1999). The marriage clinic: A scientifically-based marital therapy. New York: Norton. Gottman, J., Coan, J., Carrere, S., & Swanson, C. (1998). Predicting marital happiness and stability from newly wed interactions. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 60, 5–22. Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work. New York: Three Rivers Press.
acceptance-based couple therapy: Christensen, A., Atkins, D., Yi, J., Baucom, D., & George, W. (2006). Couple and individual adjustment for 2 years following a randomized clinical trial comparing traditional versus integrative behavioral couple therapy. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74 (6), 1180–1191. Christensen, A., & Jacobson, N. (2000). Reconcilable differences. New York: Guilford Press. Jacobson, N., & Christensen, A. (1996). Acceptance and change in couple therapy: A therapist’s guide to transforming relationships. New York: Norton.
The Benefit of Worry: Borkovec, T., & Hu, S. (1990). The effect of worry on cardiovascular response to phobic imagery. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 28 (1), 69–73.
affecting at least five million people: Agency for Health Care Policy and Research. (1994). Acute low back problems in adults: Clinical practice guideline No. 14 (AHCPR Publication No. 95–0642). Rockville, MD: Public Health Service, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
60–70% of Americans get lower back pain: Hart, L., Deyo, R., & Cherkin, D. (1995). Physician office visits for low back pain: Frequency, clinical evaluation, and treatment patterns from a U.S. national survey. Spine, 20(1), 11–19. Van Tulder, M., Koes, B., & Bombardier, C. (2002). Low back pain. Best Practice and Research in Clinical Rheumatology 16, 761–775.
people without chronic back pain have the same structural back problems: Jensen, M., Brant-Zawadzki, M., Obucowski, N., Modic, M., Malkasian, D., & Ross, J. (1994). Magnetic resonance imaging of the lumbar spine in people without back pain. New England Journal of Medicine, 331(2), 69–73.
success rate of back surgery for herniated disks: Peul, W., van den Hout, W., Brand, R., Thomeer, R., Koes, B., et al. (2008). Prolonged conservative care versus early surgery in patients with sciatica caused by lumbar disc herniation: Two year results of a randomised controlled trial. British Journal of Medicine, 336, 1355–1358.
the most valuable treatment for a herniated disk: Siegel, R. (2005). In C. Germer, R. Siegel, & P. Fulton (Eds.), Mindfulness and psychotherapy (pp. 173–196). New York: Guilford Press. Siegel, R. D., Urdang, M., & Johnson, D. (2001). Back sense: A revolutionary approach to halting the cycle of back pain. New York: Broadway Books.
prevalence of chronic back pain is lowest in developing countries: Volinn, E. (1997). The epidemiology of low back pain in the rest of the world: A review of surveys in low middle income countries. Spine, 22(15), 1747–1754.
Job Dissatisfaction Predicts Chronic Low Back Pain: Williams, R., Pruitt, S., Doctor, J., Epping-Jordan, J., Wahlgren, D., Grant, I., et al. (1998). The contribution of job satisfaction to the transition from acute to chronic low back pain. Archives of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation, 79 (4), 366–374.
reports having insomnia in any given year: Becker, P. (2006). Insomnia: Prevalence, impact, pathogenesis, differential diagnosis, and evaluation. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 29(4), 855–870.
trying too hard to fall asleep: Lundh, L. (2005). Role of acceptance and mindfulness in the treatment of insomnia. Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy: An International Quarterly, 19 (1), 29–39.
you’re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy: Seinfeld, J. (2008, September 19). Thinkexist: Jerry Seinfeld quotes. thinkexist.com/quotes/Jerry_Seinfeld.
at least a third of us feel that our anxiety is “excessive”: Stein, M., Walker, J., & Forde, D. (1996). Public-speaking fears in a community sample: Prevalence, impact on functioning, and diagnostic classification. Archives of General Psychiatry, 53 (2), 169–174.
Suppress It!: Wegner, D., Schneider, D., Carter, S., & White, T. (1987). Paradoxical effects of thought suppression. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 53(1), 5–13.
on emotional suppression: Gailliot, M., Baumeister, R., DeWall, C., Maner, J., Plant, E., Tice, D., et al. (2007). Self-control relies on glucose as a limited energy source: Willpower is more than a metaphor. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92 (2), 325–336.
Suzanne and Michael were going through “cold hell”: Germer, C. (2006, Spring). Getting along:
Loving the other without losing yourself. Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, pp. 25–27.
able to reduce their medication: Kuyken, W., Byford, S., Taylor, R., Watkins, E., Holden, E., White, K., et al. (2008). Mindfulness-based cognitive therapy to prevent relapse in recurrent depression. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76 (6), 966–978.
if you can’t be fully present with the difficult moments: Moffitt, P. (2008). Dancing with life: Buddhist insights for finding meaning and joy in the face of suffering (p. 41). New York: Rodale Press.
it’s the process of establishing a new relationship with our thoughts: Long-more, R., & Worrell, M. (2007). Do we need to challenge thoughts in cognitive behavior therapy? Clinical Psychology Review, 27(2), 173–187. Hayes, S., Follette, V., & Linehan, M. (Eds.). (2004). Mindfulness and acceptance: Expanding the cognitive—behavioral tradition. New York: Guilford Press. Roemer, L., & Orsillo, S. (2009). Mindfulness- and acceptance-based behavioral therapies in practice. New York: Guilford Press.
the Latin roots com (with) pati (suffer): Online Etymology Dictionary. Retrieved September 20, 2008, from www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=compassion.
Chapter 2. LISTENING TO YOUR BODY
It is just simple attention: Feldman, C., & Kornfield, J. (1991). Stories of the spirit, stories of the heart (p. 83). New York: HarperCollins.
The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion Page 29