If only he could have figured out a way to make himself magically invisible all the time. He could temporarily mask what he was like he had when he’d lured the unicorns, but it wasn’t a permanent solution. And in a room like this where so many physical sensations of pleasure and pain pressed in on him, he couldn’t focus on more than shielding himself from it all.
The desire to be unremarkable and invisible only grew as he noticed the way guests whispered and stared at him as he passed. He thought he caught a glimpse of Gertrude Periwinkle through the crowd, but he kept walking, not knowing what he would say to her. It would be awkward enough talking to a woman he had a history of intimacy with, but he especially didn’t want Abigail or Hattie to suspect their previous relationship.
It was a relief when Madison Jennings, one of Clarissa’s former students, waved at him and made her way closer. She wore her blond hair in a short bob that suited her. He remembered her from the times she had stayed at Abigail’s house in the Morty Realm with Imani and Hailey during vacations. It was wonderful to see a familiar face. He picked her up in a bear hug. He’d only met her once since being a cat. He was surprised she recognized him.
Three young ladies giggled behind her. All wore pastel dresses, as seemed to be the custom of the youngest ranks of women. Maddy introduced the girls behind her, and Lucifer introduced Hattie as a friend of Abigail’s. Maddy didn’t use his proper title, but she used his full name, which made the young ladies giggle more.
Lucifer had never realized he disliked the sound of giggling before this moment. Abigail was the only one he liked to hear laugh. He forced himself not to turn to look for her.
One of the girls with doe ears and the start of antlers protruding from her hair placed a gloved hand on his. “Now that we’ve been introduced properly, formalities won’t keep you from asking us to dance.”
“Um. . . .” It wasn’t formalities that kept Lucifer from asking. He had no intention of filling his dance card.
“You’ll ask to sign my card, won’t you?” the youngest girl asked. She couldn’t have been more than fourteen.
Lucifer gave Maddy a pleading look. He couldn’t imagine why she’d played such a horrible trick on him. He’d never scratched her once as a cat. Now she was tormenting him in a game of matchmaking.
The tallest girl in the group lifted her nose up. “My father says it’s unbecoming for a girl to ask a boy to dance, but he’s so terribly old-fashioned. This is the modern era. Women should be allowed equal opportunity asking men to dance. Don’t you think?”
Lucifer didn’t like the way they leaned in closer. Too much perfume mingled with the scent of magic. He felt the pinch of pointed shoes and constricting corsets as the young ladies pressed in. He was finding it harder to block out so many sensations at once, let alone from those who were so close. Their minor discomforts contrasted sharply with the thrum of excitement in their chests. The youngest licked her lips as she gazed at him.
He leaned away, horrified at the idea that a girl hardly old enough to be a teenager wanted to seduce him. He could handle adult women throwing themselves at him in the forest. The Fae he encountered only looked young, but most were hundreds of years old. The wood nymphs, vilas, and sirens weren’t innocent maidens like these with no idea of what he was.
“I, um. . . .” His voice rose an octave.
“I’m not feeling well,” Hattie announced loudly. “It’s the heat. I need to find a bench.” This was the least timid she’d appeared all night.
He bowed to the women. “I beg your pardon.” He couldn’t tell whether Hattie was being possessive and wanting to keep him all to herself or truly was ill.
He found a bench against a wall and helped Hattie sit.
“I hope that wasn’t too impertinent,” she whispered. “I’m used to hearing the sound of panic in a young man’s voice when he wishes to be rid of a young lady trying his patience. Or a group of ladies.”
“Was I that transparent? I hope you aren’t on the receiving end of panicking young men often.” He felt guilty he’d been irritable with her earlier when Abigail had ditched him for Godric. He glanced at Godric dancing with her again.
Lucifer wanted to be content with enjoying his time while he could, no matter what he was doing and whom he was with. But he had looked forward to this evening specifically because he wanted to be with Abigail.
Hattie stroked his arm, drawing his attention. “No. I’m used to rescuing Godric from maidens,” Hattie said. “He’s far too shy for his own good, and he can never say no. It must be such a burden to be a handsome young man.”
“It is.” His tone came out more glumly than he intended.
She laughed.
“Apparently there’s a fine art to rescuing young men from young ladies. I can see you’ve exercised that skill for your brother.” He unhooked her arm from his. “If you’ll forgive me for asking this of you, I need a moment of quiet to focus my magic. This much touching makes it difficult for my system to adjust. Especially when there are so many people around me. I’m not used to crowds like this.”
“That’s right. You’re a healer. Sometimes our court healer is the same.” She folded her hands onto her lap. “I’ll be quiet. I won’t say another word unless you speak to me.”
He felt bad ignoring her, but he did need to reestablish his focus. This much shielding of himself was taxing, more so than using his magic to fuel a spell. He was erecting a wall between himself and others, keeping himself from doing what his affinity wanted to naturally do.
Lucifer closed his eyes and constructed wards around himself. Without even realizing what he was doing, he wove thin lines of electricity in the same way he had created Abigail’s soul blanket. Perhaps Elric was correct that he was an artist, and weaving was his medium. Only instead of weaving textiles, he wove energy.
After several minutes of focusing, he could breathe easier again. He was aware of the people filling up the room, but he wasn’t drowning in their sensations. He opened his eyes to scan the ballroom for Abigail. She was on the far side of the room with Godric. They were no longer dancing. Godric pressed her hand to his heart, his eyes pleading.
Abigail looked to Clarissa and back to Godric. The royal family still sat on the throne greeting guests. Clarissa seemed oblivious that Abigail had taken up with Godric, and he was the one wooing her instead of Lucifer. Or perhaps she had noticed, but she simply didn’t mind because she preferred Godric.
Godric scanned the crowd, his eyes settling for a moment on a middle-aged couple that were probably his parents. He leaned in toward Abigail, his body language furtive.
“Godric has been gone too long with Abigail,” Lucifer said.
“Probably he found our table. He must be waiting for us there.” Hattie smiled pleasantly.
They weren’t at a table. Godric tucked Abigail’s hand into the crook of his arm as he guided her toward an exit.
Lucifer’s spine went rigid. “He’s leaving with her. Where are they going?”
“What do you mean?” Hattie asked.
Lucifer rose. “They’re leaving the ball.”
Hattie stood too. She fumbled for his arm. “Please go after them. Don’t allow Godric to do something foolish and create a scandal. He’s like that, impulsive and following his heart rather than listening to common sense. I don’t want Father to grow vexed with him, and I don’t want Abby to get in trouble.”
Lucifer didn’t want Abigail to get into trouble either. He knew enough about Godric’s sordid past to understand the kind of trouble he’d already gotten himself into. Abigail might have fancied him, but that didn’t mean she understood what a skirt chaser he was.
Lucifer dashed off after them but was soon swallowed by the swarming crowd. He remembered then what Peter had told him about whistling to call him, but he doubted the valet could hear him with the orchestra starting to play louder and the sudden surge of fashionably late guests. All the same, he whistled, but his m
outh was dry. Desperate, he waved to the dais of royalty, otherwise occupied with greeting guests, hoping one of them might aid him.
When that didn’t work, Lucifer wet his mouth and whistled again, though it was so loud in the room, he didn’t hold much hope that Peter would hear.
A tingle of magic pulled at Lucifer’s awareness.
“You called, Your Highness?” Peter asked in a stuffy voice behind him.
Lucifer whirled. “Thank goodness! It’s Abby. She’s snuck off with Godric. His sister is afraid they might bring a scandal down on themselves.”
Peter shook his head and lifted his eyes to the heavens. “That does sound like something the two of them might do.”
“Where could they have gone?” Lucifer pointed to the nearest door. “I saw them exit this way.”
“I expect they’ll be going upstairs to her room. It isn’t the first time that rake has snuck off with her.” Peter grimaced. “Come along with me. We’ll take a short cut.”
That rake? So Lucifer wasn’t the only one who disapproved of Godric.
Lucifer was grateful for Peter’s assistance. His good deed earlier hadn’t been wasted on the wrong person.
Peter led him down a set of stairs, up another set, and into a dimly lit hallway that was plain and unadorned compared to the public one. The valet walked briskly for a man as small and weathered as he was. Lucifer wouldn’t have believed Peter was recovering from kidney stones except that he felt the occasional twinge radiating from him. Peter slowed when they emerged at a carpeted hallway decorated with mirrors, decadent art, and stands of fancy vases containing peacock feathers.
Peter pulled a pocket watch from his vest and placed himself before a closed door. “They’ll be here momentarily.”
It was quieter up here, with music from the ball drifting through the walls without the din of people’s conversations. Lucifer shifted from foot to foot uneasily. Perhaps Peter was wrong. Godric and Abigail might have gone outside to the garden. That was where Lucifer had suggested earlier before he had realized she would want to spend time alone with Godric, not him.
The murmur of hushed voices came from around the corner.
“I can barely stand it between visits. It’s been so long,” Godric said. “I just wish I didn’t have to sneak around like this.”
“You’re going to get me in trouble again,” Abigail whispered. “If Clarissa finds out I’ve brought you to my room—” Abigail halted in her tracks when she saw Lucifer. “Lucy?”
“Miss Abigail, what do you think you’re doing?” Peter asked.
Her face flushed. She looked from Lucifer to the valet. “I was just showing Godric where my room was. For later. In case . . . never mind.”
“Indeed.” Peter’s lips pressed into a formidable line. “Mr. Godric Tinaalto, your presence is not needed on this floor. Go back to the party.”
Godric slunk back, his cheeks turning red. Abigail attempted to sneak away.
“Not so fast, Miss Abigail.” Peter beckoned her closer. “You do realize every indiscretion you commit reflects upon your benefactors, do you not?”
She didn’t meet his eyes. “We weren’t going to do anything bad.”
“This incident will be reported to Queen Clarissa. You can inform her about your good intentions upon the morrow.” Peter skewered her with an arch of his eyebrow.
She swallowed. Lucifer didn’t like Abigail getting in trouble, but she had brought this upon herself. Someone had to inform her about the deeds of unscrupulous gentlemen who wanted to take advantage of her.
It looked like Clarissa got that job.
Peter inclined his head at Lucifer. “I’m certain you will see our resident troublemaker back to the party without further incident.” His lips twitched into an indulgent smile. “You know how to get ahold of me if you should have further need of my assistance.”
A twinge of pain prickled Peter’s urinary tract. He strolled off unhurried despite the call of nature Lucifer was quite sure he was rushing off to take care of.
“Did Peter just smile at you? Did you somehow get on his good side?” Abigail whispered.
Lucifer crossed his arms. “You just tried to ditch me for Godric. I came to this party specifically to see you, and you left me to babysit his sister so you could sneak off with him. Do you have any idea how—” He was so vexed, he didn’t know what to say about that.
“I’m sorry. I told him I didn’t want to leave the party right then, but he said he just wanted to see my room really quick. We weren’t going to stay.” She tried to take his hand. “I was going to spend the rest of the evening with you.”
Lucifer stepped out of her reach. “Is that what he told you? He just wanted to know where you sleep so he could sneak in later and have his way with you.”
She flinched at that. “No. Godric isn’t like that.”
“What is he like?”
“He’s my friend. That’s all. We’re just friends.”
In the vision Lucifer had seen of the past, Godric hadn’t touched her like a friend would. “Is he a friend? Or is he a sexual deviant who wants to use you and doesn’t care if he hurts you in the process?”
“He isn’t a sexual deviant! You’re just biased against him because you had to go fetch his antibiotics. That venereal disease could have happened to anyone.” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “He has lain with three girls in his entire life. Three. Does that make him a sexual deviant? Do you have to hold that against him forever? How many have you been with?”
“It isn’t polite to repeat such things.” Lucifer ground his teeth. He wouldn’t have put it past Godric to try to poison her against him. How easy it would have been to do so with Lucifer away from the castle and stuck at Baba’s cottage.
Abigail lifted her chin. “I know what your affinity is, and I know you’re an incubus. Clarissa told me. She gave me a sex-education lesson.”
“Great. Clarissa Explains It All,” Lucifer huffed, his weak attempt at a joke.
“She said you need touch magic and pleasure. That means you need to have lots of sex all the time with lots of women. It’s just the way it is because you’re a Red affinity. But even unicorns won’t talk to me anymore and call me a whore, and I haven’t ever been untrue to you.” Tears filled her eyes.
Her tears tugged at his heartstrings. That was almost a greater weakness than the chasm of pain opening inside her, raw and vulnerable, an onslaught of feelings attacking his shield. He turned away and trudged down the hall, needing to put space between them. “I don’t care about that. I mean, I do care about the unicorns being rude, but I don’t care about whether you’ve had a sexual relationship with someone else. So long as Godric didn’t hurt you.” He tried to muddle through his feelings and find the right words, but he didn’t know which was worse, that he needed sex and therefore that made him a hypocrite, or that their relationship was retracing the same footsteps they’d walked before. He couldn’t change the past or the future.
She hastened after him. Her voice was far louder than it should have been for the quiet hallway. “I didn’t lose my virginity with Godric. Not that it’s any of your business.” She swiped at her tears.
He examined the ornate tapestry on the wall of a unicorn goring a hunter. He could identify with that feeling on the man’s face. “True. It’s none of my business. But if you’re in love with someone else, the least you could do is tell me.”
She shook her head, ready to deny the accusation.
“Abigail, I’ve already lived through this situation once before.” Twice before. First with Coinneach, her Fae lover, and then in the Morty Realm with Adam, her Morty husband. “I’ve been your best friend and been helpless to stop you from falling in love with another boy while I waited for you to tire of him and realize you were in love with me. I thought things would be different this time.” He barreled down the hall, uncertain of where he was going, but he was probably going in the right direction. The musi
c was getting louder.
“I’m not the old Abigail. I don’t want to be like her. I wouldn’t do that to you, what she did.” She lifted the hem of her skirts to keep up. “I love you. More than she did.”
Did she remember? She had seemed to remember her brother when MacCoinneach had told her the story about how they’d died. She had said she didn’t want to hear the rest of the story of her past, but she had already known.
He touched the amulet at his throat, his constant reminder of the old Abigail he yearned for. Only, that Abigail hadn’t chosen him either. Not really. She’d kept him as a familiar, but she might have simply felt obligated to care for him.
His throat tightened as he spoke. “It’s time I gave you up and gave up this quest to start things over with you.” He needed to help restore her soul, but he shouldn’t expect that would magically erase all the mistakes between them. All his mistakes. “I can’t compete with dukes or your decadent lifestyle here.”
“I don’t expect you to compete with Godric or anyone else.” She grabbed hold of his arm. “There is no competition between you and Godric.”
He shook her off. “Right. I’ll remember that the next time you sneak off with him.”
A man and woman with arms linked walked down the hall toward them.
Abigail didn’t seem to notice them as she shouted. “You truly are impossible. You know that, don’t you?”
“The impossible incubus.”
If Lucifer could have left the ball at that moment, he would have. The only thing keeping him besides Baba’s promise was that he knew it was the right thing to do to stay. He needed to figure out what to do about Abigail’s soul, and Baba was relying on him to steal the Raven Queen’s Ruby of Divine Wisdom.
The clock struck eight. The evening was still young. He could still accomplish everything he needed to. Yet dread raked his insides, telling him otherwise.
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