“It wasn’t bad. Just. . . .Well, I do have an incubus for a lover.” Disappointment tinged her tone.
The breeze rustled through the trees, sounding like they were laughing at them.
“I’ve gone from stud to dud in five minutes.” He leaned his face against her belly. Even through the fabric of her layers, she radiated warmth. “I did warn you this was for gathering magic, not to satisfy you.”
“That’s true.” She sounded doubtful. “Did you get any magic from that?”
“Indeed.” He hugged her more tightly. “I think you assumed sex with an incubus would be constant mind-blowing orgasms. You expected a god, but you got a man.”
He kept his hands under her dress as he massaged her legs. “How about we try again?”
She hesitated. “I’m happy to help you.”
She didn’t sound happy. She’d already learned being lovers with an incubus wasn’t perfect.
“This time won’t be for fathering magic or giving me pleasure. It will be for you,” he promised. “Does that sound more fair?”
Excitement returned to her smile. “Yes, very fair.”
He ducked under her skirt. He slid his hand behind the small of her back, pressing her closer to him as he buried his face between her legs again. This time, they were both better at not allowing their affinities to spin out of control. She didn’t produce so much fertility magic that she turned into a plant. He didn’t take too much. She lost herself in the bliss of carnal passion.
Sex didn’t make everything better between them, but it helped.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Tough Love
Lucifer rose early for chores despite his late night. As he fetched water, he stopped for a moment next to an old tree so twisted and bent it reminded him of Baba. Termites had eaten patches of the bark, leaving wounds like those that had been in Baba’s soul.
Lucifer stood staring at the tree remembering his time spent as her apprentice, the good times and the bad. She had imparted many lessons while being a kindly grandmother at times and living up to her title the Witch of Nightmares at other times.
Now that he was free of her service, he felt more lost than ever. He didn’t know what to do with himself. He didn’t know what to do about Abigail. It was her decision whether to accept her old soul or regrow her current one. Yet she was so stubborn she wouldn’t let him help her.
Something Baba once said came to mind: “Sometimes you must give up what you love to make room for what comes next.”
He’d always hated her cryptic advice and sage snippets of wisdom. Especially when she’d been right.
Even from beyond the grave, she was still right.
* * *
Lucifer returned to the cottage and set the water to boiling in the hearth. The raven tapping on the windowpane at dawn alerted Lucifer it was time to wake the rest of the household.
That raven meant they would soon have company. Kelsie woke of her own accord, grumbling and rising without him telling her.
Lucifer chopped wood and started breakfast.
Abigail and Hattie groaned and buried themselves under the quilt.
“I don’t want to get up,” Abigail said like a child.
Lucifer flicked cold water on her and Hattie’s faces. “It’s time to get up. You need to be presentable to royalty in five minutes.” He didn’t know if that was true, but he imagined Clarissa would be arriving soon.
“No!” Abigail said. “I don’t want to go back. I want to stay here.”
“Right.” Lucifer flicked water at her again. “Because whining is going to convince anyone how mature and responsible you are.”
She flung back the blankets and rose, glaring at him.
As it turned out, they had thirty minutes before the carriage arrived. By that point, Abigail still hadn’t brushed her hair, but he wasn’t her keeper. If she didn’t want to make herself presentable, that was her decision. Hattie joined Lucifer outside as the carriage came to a stop. Kelsie pushed Abigail outside with the broom and bolted the door closed so she couldn’t get back in.
Kelsie flashed a fake smile at him through the window as she slammed it closed. It appeared she agreed that Abigail needed some tough love.
Clarissa and Godric emerged from the carriage.
Godric threw himself at Lucifer, slapping him on the back and embracing him. “You found my sister!”
Lucifer was surprised Godric had embraced him before greeting his sister. Hopefully it wasn’t that incubus magic turning Godric’s hormones to putty in his hands. Godric lifted his sister and twirled her into the air.
Godric slapped him on the back again. “I knew you’d outsmart these troublemakers.”
Hattie smiled and blushed. “Lucy saved me. And he healed me.”
“Oh.” Godric nodded, his expression turning somber. “That was a kindness you hardly deserved after running away.” Godric stared into Lucifer’s face. “I owe you a debt.”
“Not at all. We’re friends, remember?” Lucifer clasped Godric’s hand.
Hattie continued, her enthusiasm spilling over. “He said my scars are less prominent. Can’t you tell? And I can see shadows now. Lucy said he can try again sometime, but he needs more practice first. Isn’t that exciting?” She smiled dreamily at Lucifer.
He hoped she didn’t have a crush on him. It was the last thing he needed at the moment.
Lucifer turned to take in Abigail, still standing outside the door.
Clarissa hugged and kissed her. “I was so worried about you. Are you all right?”
Abigail nodded.
“Good,” Clarissa said, her voice becoming firm. “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, you are in so much trouble, young lady.”
Lucifer leaned against the bone fence. “Right. Because you never snuck out and lied to your parents about where you were going or put yourself in danger with Witchkin and Fae.” Lucifer quite enjoyed Clarissa getting to feel what it was like to have a foster child sneaking around making poor choices like she had as a teenager.
Clarissa ignored the comment.
Abigail rushed to his side and hugged him around the waist. “Lucy will just have to come home with us, and I’ll never run away again. He can live with us now that he isn’t Baba’s apprentice.”
He patted her head. “No. I am not living in my brother’s castle.”
His refusal was more than it being Felix’s home and that he would be beholden to their rules. He didn’t want to be around crowds or attend balls. He didn’t want to have to put up with court politics and games.
He wanted to be honest with her, to treat her like an adult since that was how she saw herself. “This is my home. I like being independent. I’m going to stay here.”
Abigail stared at him incredulously, pulling away from him. “But you have to come back now. Baba’s gone.”
The sudden absence of her warmth was torment, but he didn’t try to make her embrace him. He was going to have to get used to her absence soon enough.
“My learning isn’t done.” He had one more year as her apprentice. He would continue to learn for that year. Or more. He’d found his calling as a healer.
Abigail clenched her fists. “If you love me, you’ll come back with me.”
Godric turned from the conversation with his sister. He guided Hattie away from the cottage.
“Don’t try to manipulate Lucifer like that. You’re acting like a spoiled brat.” Clarissa took Abigail by the arm, attempting to haul her toward the carriage.
Abigail shrugged her off like a teenager would. “I’m not going with you. You’re strict and mean. You don’t understand me like Lucy does.”
“We are going back to the castle,” Clarissa said. “Then we will discuss how long you will be grounded and your consequences for sneaking out.”
“I’m your mother. You can’t ground me.” Abigail crossed her arms, sulking. “I’m staying here. With Lucy.”
The sentiment was flattering.
This was what he had once wanted, to be with her. For her to be whole so that they could be together and for her to be safe.
But her soul wasn’t mature enough. Stretched thin in this body, it wasn’t whole, and it made her act in selfish ways. He loved her, but he wouldn’t tolerate her bad behavior, whether she used him as an excuse for making poor decisions or blamed something else. He couldn’t study and be a healer and attend to her childish behavior.
“No,” he said. “You can’t stay here. I’m sorry, but you aren’t ready.”
“What?” Abigail sucked in a breath. “Why? Is this because I didn’t bring you the right baby?”
“No.” He took her hands in his, speaking as gently to her as he knew how. “It’s because you’re impulsive, immature, and selfish. All very natural, normal qualities for someone growing into her soul.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I thought you loved me.”
“I do. I love you very much, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy with your behavior.” He kissed her fingers, trying to infuse love into the gesture. “You need a complete soul. You have a choice.”
He untied the cord from around his throat. “You can have Clarissa and Felix help you regrow the one you have more quickly, or you can complete yourself with your old one.”
Abigail stomped her foot. “I don’t have to take either of those paths. I can just let the soul inside me grow on its own at my own pace.”
“Indeed. Assuming you don’t turn into an egocentric little sociopath in the process, you can let your soul regrow slowly. It will be years before you’re ready to be with me—if that’s what you decide you want. But I suspect you might damage the soul inside you if you do that. Your soul will stretch too thin and develop holes like Baba’s did. It will affect your health—and morality.” Baba had fueled herself by eating children. He didn’t want Abigail to go down that path as well.
“In any case, it’s your soul to do with as you please.” He tied the cord around her throat so that her soul rested over her heart. “If you want to free these pieces of the other version of yourself, that’s up to you. If you want someone to help you place them inside, I can help you. If you don’t trust me to only put part of it inside you, I suspect Clarissa and Felix can.”
She clenched the bottle so hard her fingers turned white. “And what if I say no and follow my own path? Are you going to cast me aside? Like your muileateach women?”
The insult burned, but he suspected that was why she’d said it. She was hurting, and she wanted to hurt him.
Clarissa edged toward the carriage. “Should I wait over there? This sounds like a private conversation.”
“Yes, go away, Clarissa,” Abigail said in a snotty tone that reinforced everything Lucifer had been saying moments before.
Lucifer couldn’t help feeling the anguish in Clarissa at Abigail’s words. The sharp edge of her tone lanced through Clarissa’s heart despite the way she tried to guard her emotions against it.
“Please don’t talk to Clarissa that way.” Lucifer placed a consoling hand on Clarissa’s shoulder. “And please don’t leave. I would like you to hear what I have to say. That way you can remind Abby later if her judgment is too clouded by emotions to remember without bias.” He turned to Abigail, who had crossed her arms and turned away. “I will be here for you any time you need me. You can visit any time you like. You can stay on vacations and weekends when you aren’t in school—so long as your keepers know where you are. After you’re done being grounded.” He inclined his head at Clarissa. He understood the need for a consequence.
Lucifer studied the back of Abigail’s hunched shoulders, tight with anger. “I can be your friend. I can be your lover, but I can’t make any promises to you like you want. I can’t marry you and live happily ever after with you in the castle. I don’t know who you are. You don’t know who you are. You aren’t done growing.” He hated to say it, but it was true. “And neither am I. It took me this long to realize it, but I don’t know who I am. I’ve never been anyone apart from you.”
Her brow crinkled up in confusion as she turned to face him. “But we’re supposed to be together. You’re supposed to want to be with me.”
“I do want you. But I need you to know what you want in life first. I need to figure out what I want. Then we can decide if we want to get married and have children.” He thought of the path they had gone down in the Morty Realm, the past that he’d worked so hard to prevent. Yet he had to accept it might be what she wanted or needed. “Or you might decide I’m not what you want, and you might fall in love with someone else.”
Her face turned red. Tears swam in her eyes. He didn’t want her to cry.
He opened his arms to her. “Will you hug me goodbye?”
“No.” She stomped off to the carriage.
“That could have been worse.” Clarissa patted his arm. “She didn’t throw anything.”
Abigail flung open the carriage. Two seconds later she threw out Clarissa’s purse. Then a hat followed by a pillow.
Lucifer turned away, suspecting it was best not to give her the attention she was seeking at the moment. “I do love her, you know.”
“I do know. I love her too. She put up with me as a teenager. Now I get to return the favor.”
He chuckled at that. The irony hadn’t escaped her.
“What are you going to do with yourself without Baba?” Clarissa asked.
From the question, Lucifer knew she had gotten both his notes. Either that, or she’d put it together based on what Abigail had said.
“I’m going to continue practicing my affinity and learn more about healing—which would be much easier to do if you could return Baba’s books that Abby stole.” He felt guilty for the way he’d been so quick to assume she was the one who had stolen them.
Clarissa’s mouth opened into a little O of surprise. “I’m so sorry. Yes, I can find those books and send them to you.” She glanced at the cottage where Kelsie stood watching from a window.
“I know you told Abigail you don’t want to live in the castle, and I can’t blame you.” Clarissa stared into his eyes. “But if you ever do need a place, you’re welcome in our home. You and Kelsie can both come to school if you want a proper education.”
He waved to Kelsie, wondering if she was eavesdropping with magic. “I can’t speak for Kelsie and what she wants to do, but learning incubus magic is hardly the proper type of education.”
Clarissa smiled at that. “I suppose not.”
* * *
Kelsie was sitting at the table peeling potatoes when Lucifer came inside.
“That looked difficult,” she said.
His chest tightened as he thought about Abigail’s unwillingness to hug him or say goodbye. “Indeed. It was difficult.”
“I’m glad I stayed inside.” Kelsie nodded to MacCoinneach. “Your patient was asking after you.”
Lucifer crouched down on the floor beside MacCoinneach. “How are you doing?”
“Abby didn’t even say goodbye to me. Only Hattie did. It isn’t fair.” He shifted, his limbs creaking.
“You and me both, little buddy.”
“I took her to a swamp and saved her friend. The least she could have done was say goodbye. It wasn’t like I expected a thank-you.”
“I agree.” He patted the leshi’s head. “Try not to hold it against her. I told you she’s young. Sometimes people make poor choices when they’re young. Baba used to say not to trust the judgment of any young people under the age of fifty.”
“I will endeavor to do my best.” He squirmed again. “Also, I need sunlight and water. And I need to flush waste out of my body, but I still can’t use my arms. I require assistance.”
“Um. By ‘flush waste’ do you mean use the bathroom?” Lucifer asked. “Number one or number two?”
“I don’t know what any of that means.”
Kelsie snickered.
“Of course you don’t,” Lucifer said. “Welcome to day one of being a hedge witch without any textbooks or manuals.”
* * *
Lucifer helped his patient create manure for their garden. He set MacCoinneach on the ground, reclining against a tree stump in the sun afterward. Lucifer felt self-conscious doing so, wondering if MacCoinneach would judge him for chopping down that tree to use as firewood.
The young leshi only closed his eyes and tilted his face up to the sun. This was probably healthier for his healing than keeping him indoors, but he would be weak and vulnerable for a while. He was going to need assistance until he was fully recovered.
“Just call my name if you need me,” Lucifer said.
Lucifer returned to the cottage. Kelsie served him a healthy portion of porridge and then sat down to eat with him. He relayed Clarissa’s earlier offer that they could finish their education at Vega’s school if they wished.
Kelsie listened until he was finished. “I would be happy if I didn’t have to make one more potion for someone’s boils again. Or deliver a baby.”
“Do you want to go to school?” he asked.
“I tried it once.” She shrugged. “It wasn’t my thing.”
“So what do you want to do?”
She glanced out the window at MacCoinneach. “I guess I’m like you. I have to figure it out.”
His brows lifted in surprise. “So you were listening to my conversation with Abby?”
She rolled her eyes. “Duh. Of course. How else am I going to get the juicy gossip?”
* * *
Freedom wasn’t that different from Lucifer and Kelsie’s previous lifestyle with Baba. Only, they both made small adjustments. Some traditions Lucifer and Kelsie kept up, like seeing patients. Other traditions they vowed to refrain from, like chopping off toes and eating children.
Kelsie supplied Lucifer with storms, and he called down lightning. It was a good combination of powers. He did the cooking, potions, and healing. Kelsie chopped firewood, collected water, and gathered edible foods. They took turns collecting and drying herbs and tending the garden and chickens.
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