Holding On

by A. C. Bextor

  Walking to him I drop myself into his seated lap. Sitting here so close to him, he grabs the tops of my thighs and I start to tingle, down there. Oh shit this is new. It’s warm and I feel a bit flushed. Damn, was this a good idea? I’m already a live wire when I’m around Shame, and now I’ve just amped up the electricity by 1,000 volts. He hasn’t even moved his hands, they are just sitting in one place now, resting on either side of me. I must take a breath. I attempt to get off him so I can calm down a bit before I end up in orgasm while fully dressed in his arms and having to explain myself because he literally hasn’t even touched me. Is there a friggin fan in here?

  “Where the fuck you going?” He grabs me and doesn’t give me room to move. “You are not seriously upset about what I said, are you? I was just kidding Mace, lighten the fuck up.” He doesn’t understand my intent and he doesn’t like it. Looking at him here sitting on his bed without his shirt or shoes on has me feeling like now I’m the panther I want my prey.

  I break from his hold and stand right in front of him but far enough away he won’t be able to touch me unless he gets up and off the bed. I turn around so that my back is to him and I can see him behind me in his dresser mirror.

  I hastily take off my shirt and can see his expression change from concerned to questioning. Keeping him on his toes, I remove my bra and let my breasts fall, thinking now I should have just gotten the same piercings that Sadey did. Mental note taken and stored. This would definitely be a shocking moment had I been brave enough today, but I have one more secret I’m about to expose and I want to see his face when he catches sight of it, or better yet the feel of it.

  He’s still looking at me in question, but his eyes are a bit more hooded now. I can see him in the mirror, we are looking at each other closely, sizing each other up. I break from his stare and unbutton my jeans, pulling down both my panties and jeans in one pull. When I stand back up I can see that he’s in motion. Not towards me, but in the motion of touching himself. He’s unzipped his leathers and he is now holding and stroking his cock while he watches my reflection in the mirror. Oh my god, this is hot. The piercing throbs against my clit, I’m excited and I can feel the wet between my legs.

  It’s only early evening so the room is still bright with late afternoon sun and I can see everything he’s doing and I can also hear his ragged breathing over my own. I stand straight up and just continue to watch him in the mirror. If he’s not coming after me then I’m going to watch him get himself worked up.

  “Are you finished with your little striptease now, baby? What are you waiting for? Is there anything else maybe that you’re looking for?” His voice is raspy and low.

  I turn around to face him, I’m completely exposed and he’s looking at me with such adoration I’m not even self-conscious because I know this is Shame, the man has already seen all of me. I start to make my way towards him and his head lifts from my body to my face to keep eye contact with me and since he’s still sitting down on the edge of his bed, this makes me taller than him. I move his legs with my knee to open him so that I can get closer and now that I stand between them I let my body drop. I’m on my knees nearly eye level with his hands and cock. He’s still stroking it aggressively and he is massive in size. His cock ring is shining in the light of the sun. God, the man looks amazing.

  “Give it to me.” I say in a soft voice but he heard me because his stroking stops and he grabs my hand and is now stroking his cock with me, his hand covering mine.

  He’s showing me how he likes it. Jesus, this is so sexy. I feel him twitching in my grip so I wave his hand away, confident I can continue my assault on him without help. He leans back on his forearms, closing his eyes and looking up to the ceiling. I see his neck muscles moving and his pulse quicken. The tattoo on his left bicep is tense with wait. Before he can react I wrap my mouth around the head of his cock and suck, hard.

  “Fucking hell, Mace. God dammit.”

  His barbell grazes my teeth and makes a clicking sound in my mouth that apparently turns him on even more. He tenses and one hand comes out from behind him to grab my head and he starts to gently push it up and down, setting the rhythm that he wants. Again, he’s showing me how he likes it and I’m a very willing pupil so I let him guide me. Now he’s going in and out of me at the speed he has fixed.

  “You are so damn good with your mouth. Suck it hard baby, take it deeper. All of it. Do not fucking stop. Fuck me; your mouth is so damn hot.”

  I continue to suck and I suck him so hard that my jaw starts to tighten. He must sense that because his hands are at my face, running along my jawline with his thumb.

  I feel the salty taste of what’s to come and I let go of him with a pop and look up to see he’s been watching me, intently. I don’t know if he wanted me to finish that job or not, but I don’t want to lose what he’s got for me, wasting down my throat. I think I will reserve that for another time. Right now though, I want to feel him inside, and yes I want to test the new toy!

  Whoa, I’m tingling again, time to share my surprise.

  “Shame, I bought something else while I was out. Something for us to share actually.”

  Being that we are currently in the position that we are in, he looks a bit scared. What in the world does he think I brought in here?

  “Touch me, Shame. Put your mouth on me. Tit for tat, baby.” Such a setup and he’s falling for it.

  His eyes look up and down my body for a split second then lifts me off the floor by my arm and then like a sack of potatoes, he tosses me on the bed. Not that I resist by any means, I’m so close to showing him what I bought that I am smiling without control. Dammit he is going to ruin this for me if I can’t hold in the giggle!

  He comes down and is lying on top of me, my legs are spread and he’s nestled himself in between them. Propped up on his arms his face is angled into mine, he’s looking down at me.

  “Never knew you had that talent in you, Sexy. I love that. You amaze me, again and again I always think I know what to expect from you but I don’t, do I? I love your face, beautiful.” My heart melts and I almost forget where I want this to go. God his words are so damn distracting.

  “I love you.” He doesn’t wince when I say it this time. He just lets himself absorb the words, closing his eyes. I’m thankful for that, it’s a small feat but it carries a lot of meaning for us both. He’s starting to accept me saying this to him, he’s always assumed it because we’ve always been in each other’s lives but now he’s actually hearing the words and what it means for me to say them.

  Back to business though, “Now, ummm, I believe we had a tit for tat situation, and I’ve had my taste of you so big boy, it is your turn to taste me. Unless you’d rather not, I mean I can just get dressed and come back when you’re less busy. You kind of appear distracted anyway, can you even...? I mean you’re older than me, like a lot a lot older... are you still... ya know, ready.. down there?” I am pulling at him now. I know he’s going to beat my ass for this one but I can’t help it. I love getting at him.

  He leans down into me and bites my bottom lip hard, trying to get me to shut up. He holds my lip in his mouth until I reach up and flick his nipple with my finger. It’s pebbled from arousal and I know this will get him going faster to where I want him. Instantly he releases my lip and I suck it to relieve the pain.

  “You done? Acting like a sex starved little brat, are you done? I’ve obviously been spoiling you because you are now delaying my gratification and woman this is not okay. I say this because you know I have better places to be than” He’s reaching for my clit, in quick motions. “...son of a bitch...what the fuck....Mace, what have you done…?”

  He stops mid-sentence as he puts his hand down a little firmer on my clit and finds the hood piercing. His body freezes and he says nothing. Not one damn word. His stare is blank; my boy’s eyes are now vacant. I need to give him a minute but it is hard because I don’t know what he’s feeling. I know what I’m feeling and his touch is settin
g me on fire. Oh hell, is he pissed?

  “Baby, you alright?” All I can manage to say. He has his hand on my new jewel and he’s remaining still. “Honey, say something.”

  Without delay he spreads my legs wide using both his knees and he jolts up, looks down and spreads me wide using his fingers and sees the barbell that I had Steph put in over my clit. He takes a breath now closes his eyes, then from nowhere he bends down and he kisses it gently, once then twice, then again.

  I know it isn’t supposed to be a romantic gesture but oh hell if it isn’t to me. That was Shame’s sweet dripping from him. He lets go and climbs back up me bracing his arms again beside my head and moving himself in between my legs, his cock at my entrance.

  “You beguile me; you woo me and seduce me, Mace. Just so much good in you. I love your face, so damn much. Not because of a new piercing either, you know this right? You believe that?”

  He pauses and is frantically searching my face before continuing. “I don’t remember what it was like without you. I mean without having you like this. It has just been days, baby. You have been a part of me for so long though and I can’t remember a day I didn’t wake up and think about you in some way. I hope you know that no matter what you do to your body, whether that’s a piercing or a tattoo, or the marks our babies will leave on your skin from being carried protectively inside you, the wrinkles that may form on you as we get older, or the gray in your hair that our children and I most certainly will have caused, I disregard them all. I see your heart Mace, I feel it beat with my own and it’s all consuming. You don’t ever have to change anything for me. Just be who you are and who you have always been, be with me in my life, and share yours with me.”

  He pauses and I wipe the edge of his eye before a tear falls from it down his nose. “Thank you for the gift though, I love it. I love it because you did it even though I know you we probably fuckin’ scared, and I also know you did it for me. My brave brave crazy ass woman.”

  Now I’m speechless and unmoving. His declaration with words has closed my throat and I’m afraid to speak. He just told me in so many words that he has every intention of spending the rest of his life with me. He talks of me carrying his babies and how collectively they will all gray my hair. I remember I gave him all of me the first time we made love, but if there was anything left after that, anything at all, it’s gone. He has it, every single part of me is his now. I hope he handles me with care.

  Chapter Nine:

  “When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.”

  --Ernest Hemingway

  Shame and I have settled into life as a couple. It has only been a little over a month but we are finding that life together is easy and natural. We already know one another and the brothers were all ecstatic when Shame told them we finally made the move to being a permanent item. I won’t allow him to refer to me as an old lady though, I’m not sorry for this because I’m only 22 and when I’m 65 then maybe I will consider that a titled honor, but right now I want to be referred to as Shames woman, or girlfriend, or whatever.. I’m just not old lady material!

  Mom is doing alright, considering her illness. Generally she is doused in pain meds and our visits are quick and quiet because her energy wears quickly. Hem visits during dad’s tee time or when mom calls him to tell him coast is clear. Last visit Hem had with mom he came back concerned that maybe dad isn’t doing all he can. He mentioned mom had some bruising around her temple so he blames dad for not watching her in her weak state since she told Hem she took a small fall in the shower and hit her head on the spigot.

  Sadey has been acting weird. This says a lot since Sadey has that type personality anyway. I’m on my way home now, I have two interviews to prep for and I need alone time from Shame to avoid his wonderful distractions. He and Hem are working Club business and I was dismissed immediately when I started asking more questions. Big brother, yeesh!

  “Sade, I’m home! Where are you?”

  Putting my purse on the table I make my way down the hall to my room. I hear noises from the bathroom and stop outside the door. “Sadey, you in there? You okay?”

  Then I hear the retch sound of vomit. Gagging just a bit, I open the door inviting myself in. I see Sadey with her head on the toilet. She’s completely naked and covered in sweat.

  “Oh Mace. This sucks. I think I have that flu or maybe the shower was too hot and I haven’t eaten. My stomach won’t stop turning and I keep vomiting. Make it stop, you know I hate to vomit. Oh my god, not again.”

  She’s again retching into the toilet. I start to gag a bit again and remind myself to hold it together. When Sadey was seven we had her birthday party at my house. Dad dressed up like a clown and all the kids laughed, but not because he was funny. Dad just isn’t a jesting type of person. The kids laughed because all he did was stand around. He did try though, I have to give him credit.

  Sadey had said earlier that day that she felt sick. Mom thought it was because she ate too much cake. Sadey’s mom wasn’t worried about it either. It wasn’t until my dad came up from behind her and tried to tickle her to make her laugh that we clued the hell in. She turned green and threw up all over his red clown hair. Now that was hilarious, not to dad or Sadey though. She ended up having the flu, looking about like she does now. Sweaty and miserable. My poor girl.

  “Let me make you some ice tea, you like ice tea when you’re sick, I remember. Do you want some now?”

  “I want my mom, Mace. Call my mom!”

  She’s forgetting that Mr. and Mrs. Lyons are on a cruise for their 25th Wedding anniversary. They left me with their sick daughter this time. How lucky am I?

  “Honey, they are gone remember? I will be right back and we will clean you up and put you to bed, okay?” Please agree, I need a breather, please please agree.

  “Alright but hurry.” She concedes.

  Thank hell!

  Dashing to the kitchen and making my Sadey throw up remedy I send a quick text to both Hem and Shame to let them know of Sadey’s condition.

  *ME: Hope you have been cautious around Sadey and not caught any germs, she’s sick and vomiting. I’m going to stay with her tonight. Sorry Shame, no ass play for you later. xxoo

  Giggle and hitting send quickly I dash to the bathroom with tea in hand to find Sadey fast asleep on the bathroom floor. Well crap. How am I going to get this woman up and into bed by myself? Thinking through a plan, I head back to the kitchen and hear the chime of my phone.

  *HEM: Dammit sister, do not be copying me on fuck texts you are sending to my best friend and VP. I knew that little fucker Shame would be an ass player though. Give Sadey a big smack on the ass for me and tell her I will be with her once business is done. Love ya sis.

  Whoops! I forgot I had copied Hem on that text. Well c’mon, serves him right. Let him have that visual since I still carry the sight of him and all those Club skanks sucking his cock etched in my memory. Ok, back to plan. Need help getting Sadey cleaned and into bed.

  *ME: Can’t wait Hem, need help getting your girl to bed. She’s naked and passed out on bathroom floor. Suggestions? No disgusting comments back required about her current position either!

  Immediate response, thank heavens!

  *HEM: Call a prospect over, be sure my girl is well fuckin’ covered if he’s got to touch her. Ace is at the MC. He’s not busy. Have him come over right now.

  *ME: Ok brother bossy, will handle.

  Snidely saluting the phone in a mock gesture, I put it down and grab the brothers’ directory. There are sixty of them for Cripes sake so finding Ace will take a minute. He’s definitely not someone I keep in my personal call log. I quickly go back to check on my pukey friend to find she’s not moved since I left her. Small favor there.

  Finding the number I dial, Ace answers first ring. Gees, desperate for a call much? “Hey there Ace, Sadey needs help. She’s sick and I can’t move her and....” I’m cutoff.

  “What’s wrong Mace? What happened? Is she okay?
Where is she and I will get to her?” I pause because he sounds that scared. “ANSWER ME WOMAN!”

  “Well damn Ace, let me think through all your damn questions! She’s at home, Hem said to call you and you could help because you have nothing going on. You know where she and I live, right?”

  “Yes, be there in 10.” Click. Well alright, no goodbyes needed.

  Wow, Ace in a hurry, I like this. Maybe he is changing and wants to be patched in. I’m almost impressed. Or maybe he’s thinking I’m going to leave him alone with my best friend. Not going to happen, buddy.

  Going back into the bathroom, I know I need to check on Sadey one more time before Ace gets here. Brother bossy has requested that I make sure she’s somewhat covered, Sergeant Rude does have his orders. I cover her in a big blanket. She’s soaked. I feel her fever before even touching her. Now I’m getting concerned.

  Waiting for Ace in the living room and eight minutes after we disconnect he comes barreling through the door. He’s breathless and red faced.

  “Did you run here?” He looks like shit so I have to ask just in case he passes out in front of me.

  “Yes, my bike was blocked and everyone was in the church meeting. So, I ran, took the shortcut though, lots of damn dogs at my heels too. Fuckers.” He’s so out of breath.

  “Maybe you should take it easy on those smokes, Ace. You don’t look so good.”

  “Where the fuck is my...fuck... wait...I mean where the fuck is Sadey?” Whoa. I hope he was not about to refer to her as his because lord help him if he thinks or even accidently were to say that out loud in front of one of the brothers!

  “Follow me. She’s a sight for the eyes right now, so don’t you ever tell her I let you or anyone see her at her like this.”