by A. C. Bextor
Shit.
“You bet I will, she’s my girl. Take care and I will see you soon!” I wink and blow him a kiss, just to see his face turn red. Damn, how is it I fall for the most moody, pouty, possessive, egotistical fool of them all when this place is crawling with hot bikers with big hearts? Gah!
My phone is blinking, I have another message. Great, hope its Sadey telling me she has dinner for me cause after this day I’m stressed and hungry and I refuse to eat another sleeve of Oreos!
Oh wait nope, not Sadey, no such luck.
*SHAME: If you aren’t at the club when I get back I will go find you, do not doubt that. Your mouth is starting to piss me off.
Unbelievable. Oreos are definitely off the menu now. On the way home, I’m stopping for wine. I’m going to text Sadey and tell her I’m stopping for wine and will bring something in the form of carbs home for dinner.
*ME: Hey. I’m stopping for a tall, sexy, something to drink on the way home. If you’re lucky I will also bring you home something then we can share, yum! ;) XXOO M.
I’m cracking up outside the clubhouse and out loud all the way to my car. Phone dings again, she’s fast!
*SHAME: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU PLAYING AT? SERIOUSLY? IF YOU WANT TO GO ACT LIKE A WHORE THEN DO IT, BUT DO NOT TEXT ME ABOUT IT. WE CLEAR?
Ummm, what the hell is wrong with him? Gees. I flip through the phone to see that I accidently sent Shame that message and in re-reading it, oh my God! That’s just funny! Whoops. I swear that was not meant to happen, not saying I’m glad it didn’t because I am still cracking up. Guess I won’t be seeing him tomorrow after all. Not that I had intentions of it anyway, but if there was any question about it, there is no more!
Trying this again, slower this time.
*ME: Sadey, stopping for wine and dinner on way home. Will be there in 30. Xxoo M.
There. That’s what I meant to happen. Still laughing, I pull into the store and grab the wine, pizza, and junk food then head home to Sadey. Finally, I hear back from her.
*SADEY: Trying on dresses for tomorrow night, I’m stoked!
Going out tomorrow night with Peyton and Sadey both, I’m drinking early, fast and a L-O-T because they apparently are both “stoked”. Oye!
Chapter Thirteen:
“I didn't want to kiss you goodbye — that was the trouble — I wanted to kiss you good night — and there's a lot of difference.”
--Ernest Hemingway
Shell Horns is packed. I’m glad for that. I aim to blend in, but it has to be impossible. All I have been today is become Sadey Lyons’ real life dress up doll. She has mothered me to death. She has put in me in makeup, a dress, and curled my hair. She actually looked offended when I explained to her why I was not going to let her shave me. This woman was born to have a little sister. When she grows up and has a daughter of her own, I’m going to have to impede and butt in often. The woman is seriously girly girl crazed. I throw up a silent prayer, please give Sadey Lyons little boys to love.
Finally we are here and we have a table, well I should say we have half of a table. This damn place is so busy already that the patrons share space as if privacy never existed. Unfortunately for me I had forgotten that Peyton was small, adorable, sweet, and oblivious. I’ve already gone into Mama Bear mode three times tonight because some of these men mistake her size and assume they can touch her however they feel is appropriate. Hell no.
“I think I’ve gone and died to club heaven.” Says the older pervert we are sharing this table with as he looks at Sadey, then at me, then his eyes penetrate and I mean that in the sickest sense available for the word, he penetrates to Peyton. Bastard licks his lips at her! Now when I say old, I only mean that he’s probably only about 40, but she’s only 19 for cripes sake! Granted yes, she’s in a bar with a fake ID but even if she were 21, C’MON!
“Does that line get you a lot of girls? Cause it sounds like something my grandpa would say, he’s in a nursing home right now but I am pretty sure Gramma and Grandpa can still rock the boat if you know what I mean.” Peyton nudges his arm while lifting her eyebrows up and down rapidly for effect.
Sadey and I look to each other and suppress a giggle as the man stands up, throws a twenty dollar bill on the table and mumbles something about how women talk too much. After he leaves Peyton calmly looks at us while sucking the olive from her martini in a sexy way and says, “And that my friends, is how you get yourself a table at Shell Horns.” Oh My God. She did not just say that.
We all bust up laughing and the waitress delivers our second round. Then as if it were her own, she hands the waitress the twenty he had left on table, “Here ya go ma’am. This is for you, from one sista to another. That appalling jackass that was here before us got up and left without paying his tab, I’m sorry for that so you take this and don’t let him ruin your night, okay?” Holy Hell. If Peyton seriously keeps this shit up I’m going to need a change of pants.
“Peyton, how are you still single? Seriously little mama, you’re like the whole package. You’re cute, smart, funny as hell and fearless. I find it hard to believe that no man has snatched you up and has taken you back to his cavern. Also, when you find your caveman honey, I need to meet him because I’m guessing you could try the patience of a Saint, am I right?” Sadey is clearly impressed with our girl. I’m glad, I like Peyton too. She brings a new shade to Sadey and I’s tight circle. The way my life has been going, I could certainly use another friend like her.
Peyton looks a bit taken back at Sadey’s comment. She looks sad almost. I haven’t seen this emotion from her since we met and it’s upsetting.
“Peyton honey, are you okay?” I grab her hand as she sits beside me, head angled down lost in thought as she’s watching the table. Sadey comes around the other side of her and sits next to her so now we are three girls on one side of a booth, among all the partying and chaos.
“I never had that, growing up.” She says so quiet I hardly hear her.
“Never had what? You lost me, sweetie. Tell me.” I talk softly so I don’t scare her with my direct intent.
“My parents never really cared for me much. Dad was so busy working and trying to make money to keep mom happy and mom was so busy out with other men while spending daddy's money. Dad resented me because he said I would just take after mom, because I looked so much like her. I do look like her, but I didn’t ever understand how a person could withhold love just for resembling someone they were supposed to. She was my mom.”
I rub my hand over hers hoping she continues. Looking at her, I can tell she needs to get this out. “When I was 14 my mom had brought home a man while dad was out of town on contract. He kept looking at me, making me feel uncomfortable. I remember going to my room, not telling him or my mom goodnight. I was in my bed a while later and I heard him and my mom fighting. I didn’t have a clue what about, I was 14 and had never been around any other man and woman other than my mom and dad and Gramma and Grandpa.” She pauses in thought now, looking as though she is composing herself for this before she says it. Sadey and I change a quick look at each other over Peyton’s bowed head.
“He opened my bedroom door with my mom’s hair in his hands, dragging her to my bed where I was at. She was crying so hard and loud that I had to plug my ears and shut my eyes. He yelled at me to apologize to him for being rude. I couldn’t understand what I had done to make him so mad at me. When mom tried to explain it to me he put his foot into her back and she hit the floor, on her knees. I told him I was sorry for being rude and I wouldn’t do it again and asked if he would let my mom go and telling him he was hurting her. He told me that wasn’t how I was going to apologize and he picked my mom up and threw her across the room, she hit the wall and fell to the ground.”
Shit, I know where this is going. Hem may have shielded Sade and me but we weren’t ignorant to the world’s evil.
“I swear I thought she was sleeping or dead because she was just that still. I wasn’t sure how long he stood over me, he was just
breathing soooo heavy and I remember his chest moving up and down while he glared at me. He began to touch himself. Then he told me to move down to the edge of the bed towards him so I could say I was sorry and mean it this time. I froze in place for a second and apparently I didn’t move fast enough so he grabbed my ankle and jerked me towards him, hard.” She has stopped in mid thought, she looks unsure she wants to continue. I make eye contact with Sadey again, silently asking her to help soothe this. This is definitely a Sadey area. Before Sadey can interject though she continues, agonizingly.
“After he pulled me to him, he started to undo his belt then unbutton his suit pants. After that he ripped off my underwear and slid his hands up my gown, holding it up so I was completely exposed to him.” This time Sadey feels her shaking so she leans over and puts Peyton’s head on her shoulder in a side hug and kisses her hair.
These two wonderful women just met an hour ago but they act like long lost sisters. This is what Sadey’s love does to people, even strangers.
“Honey, if you don’t want to talk about it we don’t have to, okay? There is no judgment from us, ever.” I say this so only she and Sadey can hear. We are in a crowded club, but Sadey and I have Peyton in our protective bubble, surrounding her in our strength.
“No, I’m fine, really. It helps to talk about, I haven’t told very many people. Anyway, once he had me pinned down by my hands he got in my face as he hung himself over me. I started to kick and scream, and I mean really S-C-R-E-A-M and all of a sudden I heard his loud growl and hiss of pain. I felt so small, I actually thought maybe I had busted his eardrum from my screaming and that was what he was shouting about. When he fell to the floor I saw my mom. She had literally started to rip his balls from his body. Her fingernails were so deep you couldn’t even see the tips of them anymore. There was blood, a lot of it. It was like she woke up and nothing was going to stop her from protecting me. She’s never looked like that, she looked like an entirely different person to me. So once the police came and took him away, reality hit my mom so she called my Gramma right after and told her what happened. My Gramma called my dad while he was on the road. He was so upset and ashamed about how my life was turning out that when he got home he asked his mom and dad to take me until he and my mom could work things out. One year after another passed and they just never bothered to come back for me.”
She looks directly at me almost looking remorseful.
“Mace, I’m sorry I lied to you when we met. I was ashamed and terrified you wouldn’t want to be friends with me if you knew where and what I came from. I really liked you from the moment you walked into the library and didn’t want to jeopardize having even a chance at a new older, more mature friend. You just seemed so together and wise beyond your age and when you talked about Shame, you were just so confident.” I nod at her in understanding but after hearing all that she endured due to her neglectful parents I don’t really even know what to say.
“You are a very special girl, you know that? Not many woman can survive such a scary situation, move away from the only life they have ever known and still come out as beautiful, sweet, and caring as you are. It is an honor to meet you, Peyton. To call you my friend is just that much more of a gift.” Well dammit Sade, I’m going to cry.
“Thank you for coming out with me. I don’t have friends, I really don’t. I just would rather not get close to anyone, they find this out and then they don’t want to be friends with the broken girl. No one has ever asked why I was single and then told me I was cute, smart, funny as hell and fearless. So when you said that, I thought you should know why I don’t believe you.” She puts her head down as if she’s self-conscious.
“Oh no honey, eyes up. We don’t look down at ourselves, okay?” I’m probably being a little sterner than I need to be with her current state of mind, but this is a lesson she’s going to get from me right now. “You’re worth it. Remember that. You do not settle in life for friends, jobs, and especially a man. You are worth it.” She smiles at me slightly and I’m seeing the Peyton I know again. I sigh in relief.
Sadey stands now, “Is this a club to dance in or are we here for reading books? Cause right now, you people are boring the fuck outta me, I want to dance!” Peyton catches my eye and we start laughing, wildly.
“Shots first, then dance. I need some shots! You go get them Sadey, order three shots of tequila for me and then whatever you girls are having!” Hell, I’m even in rare form tonight. It has been long time since I cut loose and tonight I feel like doing just that!
“You go girl! Let’s get the party started!” Peyton smiles wide now, back in the moment with us where she should be.
Two hours later, as promised by Peyton the crowd starts rolling in and we are well on our way to forgetting everything that may have been weighing heavily on our minds.
We are sweating, laughing, and completely wrapped up in girl time. Peyton is back to the girl I recognize, her past demons have disappeared from the surface and maybe just talking about them served as a form of therapy for her.
I understand so much better now on why she is the way she is, choosing to stay single since she has fear always lurking around and holding her back. Now that she is 19 she is choosing to live with her Grandmother, the one person in her life who has loved her without conditions. It’s too bad she self-doubts her whole life because of that one night though, because she’s so much of an untainted person then she sees herself as. She would make someone a great girlfriend. One day when she is ready, she will. I have to admit now too, she will fit right in at the Peril Club though. Seems all of us are damaged in one way or another and we use this to build strength with each other, not deter us from our happily ever after.
Sadey is acting even more free spirited than usual. She’s already slurped her weight in alcohol, rarely does she cut loose like this and once she wakes tomorrow she will remember why she doesn’t do this habitually. It’s fun to watch her though. She attracts attention without even realizing it. She has danced with a few of the guys here, Peyton has been familiar with each and has given her blessings on each. Sadey belongs to Hem though, so to her these dances are meaningless and just a way to pass time until Hem gets home tonight.
I haven’t even checked my phone to see if Shame has texted me again after my gross misuse of texting. Thinking about this again, it probably wasn’t as funny as I had originally thought. I didn’t honestly mean to send it, and his reply exposed how hurt he had been with it. His ego had really taken a thrashing and he doesn’t even realize yet that it was a mistake on my part, he still believes I’m off sluttin’ it up which he knows is so not like me. So looking back I’m starting to feel truly bad about the mistake, whether it was an honest mistake or not. He has been riding all day and he didn’t need the angry distraction. Shit.
Quickly thinking, I run back to the table and scramble through our stuff and start a quick text to him.
*ME: Okay, truce. That text I sent wasn’t what you thought. I wouldn’t do that. Hope you get this message and you are okay. Talk to you tomorrow? M.
Just as I am about to turn off and head back to the dance floor, a beautiful cowboy comes stalking towards me. When I say stalking, I mean more like coming at me looking hungry. He doesn’t look familiar and he is definitely not even my type. I’ve never dated a cowboy. I’ve only really have ever been with Grey, and he was a stuffed shirt as Shame refers to him and then of course my brief fling with Shame, but even still I had loved him all my life. So this cowboy sounds like my next mistake!
With liquid courage filling my pores I’m staring at him as he comes to me and at same time I’m sizing him up. He’s tall, dark, with dark dark brown eyes, almost black. His cowboy hat, buckle and boots are all making it hard for me to look away. He even has on one of those shirts with the little metal click buttons and its dark red just adding to his mysterious look. Gees, it can’t have been that long since a man has really touched me, but my piercing down there really can’t tell time now can it?
“Hi there.” Oh and he has a vibrating deep voice, add two more hot points please. This guy was sitting at a Mace 9 of ten on the scale but he just went up surpassing the perfect 10!
“Care to dance with me?” He asks in front of my friends who are gaping at me in disbelief. I look to Sadey who is giving me a hard line face now. She’s not approving, but Peyton however is nodding her head up and down and if she’s not careful her chin is going to bump the floor. This gorgeous giant wants to dance, with me.
“Sure, I was about to get a drink first. Want to join me at the bar?” I really need some water to help quench this sudden western thirst. Damn.
He just nods and follows me to the bar, buys me a drink, then follows me back to the table. We sit alone and so far the conversation is limited, boring and awkward. We have nothing really to talk about other than the dance club and this the first time here for both of us so conversation isn’t exactly coming easy at this point. I’m now wondering where my dance is. He doesn’t have to do anything but touch me for my alcohol soaked self to be pleased tonight.
Thankfully in the nick of time another couple type slow song comes on, he stands up and grabs my hand and I follow him to the floor. Sadey is still giving me that disapproving look even while she’s dancing with an elderly gentlemen and he is enjoying dancing with her like he probably did in the 50’s with another hot young dish. If I weren’t consumed inside the arms of this cowboy I would probably offer to take her partner, he looks adorable swaying in this club. I would have to guess that he’s a regular because all the kids here treat him like a grandfather or great uncle.
Peyton is just standing near the wall, she looks a little lost but when I catch her eye she gives me her two thumbs up for my cowboy! I want her to stop hiding and find someone to dance with, maybe Sadey’s grandpa has another geriatric friend for her to keep company.