by A. C. Bextor
“No more tears, okay? These aren’t meant to make you upset.”
“I’m not upset, I’m not.” I shake my head back and forth so he sees I’m alright, “Just missing Mom, that’s all.”
I start to open the box, I already know it is some type of jewelry. I’m a woman, we just know by the shape of the box and its weight alone. I pull the box free from paper and open it, removing the cotton and inside sits a silver bracelet, the only charm is a small treehouse. Pulling out I move it around my wrist and give it to Shame so he can clasp it shut for me.
“Shame, I don’t deser….” Cutoff.
“Shut up. Never say that me again, ever. I love you and I’m the one in this that isn’t worthy, Mace. I’ve done things in my life, most of it filled with some form of regret. You give me your good, and it makes me good. There isn’t anything you don’t deserve.” He leans in grabs my head, pulling it to him and kissing my cheek, lingering there for a few seconds. I’m still sitting on the bed cross legged and now leaving towards him. I’m looking at my wrist, twisting the treehouse and thinking how it is that I’m still not sure.
“Shame, are you sure I’m enough?” I say this weakly, I heard myself and now I sound childlike but hearing him sigh I know I’ve probably pissed him off. “Things are too good. Everywhere, things are right and I’ve never had that. I’ve never felt the peace I feel and I am scared to just not wait for this to blow up and then be gone. Like this is the calm before the storm and soon our time is up, and it is just over.”
“Mace, look at me.” I can’t though. I’m in study with the charm, flipping it front to back in repeat motion. “Mace, fucking look at me.” He’s getting angry and tears are coming down my face. My insecurities are going to ruin this if I let them.
Finally I turn to look up at him, his body is intense and stiff but when my eyes reach his I find only gentle and soft. His eyes are brimmed and he is refusing to blink. I lunge for him again and wrap my arms around his neck and just whisper again and again that I love him.
“Mace you don’t remember what I came from, you were so damn young. You don’t know what is was like for me as a kid, my parents weren’t nice or even decent people. I was something for them to hurt and use, they were evil. I was a kid and that was the only love I knew so I never expected anything more. Until I met Hem and I had to learn from him how to love people and what was even harder, to trust them. The years I spent in your house, it was what brought life into me. No way can you ever understand how I felt those years at home before knowing your family. If I spend my life loving you it still would never come close to repayment, Mace. You’re more than enough because you are everything. Do you understand? You’re not even just enough. You.Are.Everything.”
I stop sobbing long enough to point humor at what he’s done in making me an emotional mess. “When we have kids, you gonna make them cry on their birthday too? If you are, can we make sure to invite Sadey so they can watch her kick your ass?”
He smiles wide understanding the conversation is over. He’s upset and I’m not going to witness him relive those childhood scars, not now. Another time perhaps, when he is willing to really share with me then I will listen. I know he loves me and that I’m his everything but I’m unsure he trusts me enough to look at him the same once the stories are told, in detail.
“Baby, my boys won’t cry and we aren’t having any damn girls. Fuckin girls will kill me and it won’t be quick. Jesus, they turn out like you then I may as well drown myself. Nope. Its boy’s baby, we are going to have all boys.”
“All? Shame, how many boys you think we are going to have? I’m not a big fan of having a litter. I know at times you act like a mountain man living in the wild but I’m drawing the line at one maybe two.” Shit, all boys? Hell no. It would be out of control, utter chaos.
He sighs, heavy, “My woman, my old lady, we will have at the very least three. You can’t just have one, and if you have two you may as well have three.” Holy shit. Looking at him I realize now that he is dead friggin serious.
“They aren’t puppies, Shame. Can you remember one thing before you go and try to keep me all fluffy, fat, and reproducing?” I know I shouldn’t even go here but after how serious my insecurities made things tonight, I feel it is my duty now to break this tension… my bait like reflexes are back – just for this cause.
“This shit should be good, what? What do you need me to remember before I start to fill you with little versions of me?” Oh god, and that’s what they would be! I pause to collect myself from a mild and miniature panic attack.
Before I start this though, I make myself comfortable on the bed. I uncross my legs because once I say it, he won’t care if I need time to unfold. Suddenly as though he’s thinking about what I’m going to say he rears his head back and braces his hands on the bed, palms down. I swear if this man is already onto me and knows I’m about to torment him and that means all my cards are played and I’m screwed!
“Well, I was just going to ask you to remember one thing about all these babies you think we are going to be having. Simple really honey, it’s all about the math. If you’re considering and actually set on having three children, well boys…”
“Mace.” Low growl, not too heavy.
“And here you are my man, already 34...”
“Shut up, Mace.” Clipped and short now.
“And I have to carry them for nine months each.”
“Shut your mouth woman, that’s a warning, you’re only gettin’ one.” He’s tense now, his jaws his ticking as he grinds his teeth.
“Then recovery time between these baby boys, and including you being even more tired helping me around the house and you are still aging as this time goes by.”
“Wench you’re about to pis…” I cut him off, bringing my hand to his mouth and my eyes to his.
“Honey, are you even going to be able to….”
AND it’s done, I’m on my back just as I knew I would be. He has me pinned immediately and as far as he knows he will win this by delivering me my ‘punishment’, but I accomplished what I knew I would. He is not thinking of childhood anymore or my tears or my insecurities. He’s thinking he’s going to teach me a lesson and oh hell if I’m not looking forward to the education. My man is hot.
Chapter Nineteen:
“Later he had seen the things that he could never think of and later still he had seen much worse.”
--Ernest Hemingway
It’s been a month since my birthday, everything is perfect. Sadey and Hem are happily married with baby on the way in just 5 months. Shame and I are doing great as well. Everything with the Club is progressing for Hem and this has Shame and he both relaxed. I’m still working at the library. Shame has it in his head that he wants me to take more time and spend working at the Club. I don’t mind working there to help out or fill in, but it’s not my life. I refuse to make it my life like Sadey does. Hem, as I thought, won’t allow his little woman to work anywhere but near him. Although she is happy there I am concerned that she’s allowing Hem to just consume her completely. She’s well into her second trimester now so she’s starting to tire. Apparently my friend has a metabolism that never stops because she is all baby bump. In her dramatic fashion, she’s already putting herself in maternity clothes. God, she’s cute too.
She and Hem have decided that until the house is finished she’s staying with me. Shame and I have spent more time at the Club because of this. Pregnancy has made her even more sexually hungry and Hem being Hem thinks that her carrying his baby makes her downright irresistible.
No one has heard from Ace, at all. He’s long gone and doesn’t look to be coming back. I tried last week to track him down but he’s so far off radar that his parents had no idea he had left Ohio. I will admit I miss him. I know how he feels about loving Sadey and how crushed he was when she said yes to marry Hem, I hope he’s happy wherever he is.
Hood is also gone. We had expected him to come back to Angels but no one has heard
anything from him either. The silence from both the Angels and Hood have us all on edge. Even though he gave Hem the information about Cherry doesn’t mean the man is worthy of our trust.
Today is my last day before my vacation starts tomorrow. Shame and I are going to Colorado for a getaway that is overdue. We’ve never had quality alone time so when I was complaining about this to Gramma she suggested that I book a cabin there, using her timeshare. I was elated at this and so thankful to her for offering it to us. Shame has no idea about it either. I cornered both Gunner and Honor to help me out with this and although Gunner was leery about working with me, Honor is making him help me out. We are leaving first thing in the morning and Shame’s bags are already packed and ready at my house.
“Are you really leaving me here with Gramma for a week, Mace?” Peyton hasn’t hidden her distaste for Shame and I going on vacation, alone.
“Yes, I am. We need to get away and you will be fine. I’m sure Derek will keep you busy.”
“Shut up, Mace. I know I have told you like a thousand times that there is only so many games of bridge I can play with Gramma, her friends, and Derek. She’s like seriously causing me to have a dry spell. He loves her and I’m glad for that but if this doesn’t stop soon I’m going to need a getaway with my cowboy and Gramma won’t be offering me her timeshare!”
Peyton’s grandmother really does love Derek. On Sunday’s you can find Derek and Peyton spending the day at her grandma’s house with all her grandmas’ friends playing Bridge. She swears to me that this is a turn off for her, but honestly I think she finds the way he handles her grandma sexy. Every Sunday morning, before the guests arrive he collects a list from Gramma and does whatever she needs done, from groceries to changing her oil. I knew that man was pure, and the way he loves Peyton makes me even happier. She’s safe from her past with him, he handles her with care.
“Honey, just enjoy your life with your family. She won’t be around forever and she loves you and Derek. Hard to find a man that Gramma approves of. Maybe for your birthday next year she will offer you her timeshare.”
“Won’t happen. She thinks that we don’t have sex, ever. When she asked me about it I panicked. Not a conversation I want to have with my 63 year old Gramma. Then she actually tried to tell me about certain ‘feelings’ I would start to have. Hell, I’m almost 20, Mace. I should have just told her that we are at it like rabbits when she’s visiting Grandpa at night but I lied instead.”
I’m laughing on the inside. I really don’t have any idea how that feels. My parents were too busy to even wonder who I was with and when I had sex.
“Give me my list of things you need done before I leave and quit sulking about it. I need a break with my man. Did I tell you he wants three kids?” Her eyes go wide. She’s thinking he is too old for this and I smirk remembering his reaction when I told him about that. “Yeah, and he says we are having all boys! Can you believe that? Like he’s just going to give me boys and all will be fine. Claims girls will kill him.”
“Oh Mace, I’m sorry but maybe he doesn’t realize that giving you three boys and Shame to deal with that you will just kill him yourself.”
“Yea, I thought about that too.”
After lunch Peyton and I are all caught up with duties. I’m getting distracted because I know in just three hours I’m off to pack and get things done for tomorrow morning. Hem is taking Shame out tonight and keeping him busy for me. Gunner straight refused doing that, says Shame drinking makes him anxious to hurt someone. It does and I can’t blame Gunner for not wanting to be available once Shame remembers that I ‘kissed’ him.
Speaking of... I need to get with Honor and be sure all is good to go.
*ME: Hey Sweetie. All set up for tomorrow? Does Shame have everything he needs for the week?
*HONOR: For the 100th time Mace, he’s good. Calm down and don’t be so worried, yeesh.
Little shit.
For the rest of the afternoon I’m just going to file my miscellaneous paperwork and then get outta here on time.
*****
Relieved the afternoon has flown by I’m closing up my stuff. “Peyton honey, I’m out of here okay? I will see you a week from Monday. Behave yourself and play nice with Derek and Gramma. Text me if you get ready to snap. Maybe if I’m not under Shame I can call you and talk you down.” I smirk as I close up my desk.
Peyton throws her head face first down on the desk. “Oh God, you’re really doing this. I thought for a few days you were just kidding and wouldn’t really leave me. I hate you.”
Smiling I open the door and the sun is still out so I’m enjoying the light on my face. Peyton is standing at the door watching me to my car, she’s really going to miss me. My poor lil Peyton.
I’m about to open my car door and I look back to Peyton, she’s not waiving or smiling at me anymore. Before I can process what is happening a body behind me as slammed me to my car and a cloth is moved over my face. Everything goes black.
--Peyton--
“No no no no no! This isn’t happening. Oh my God, Mace. Oh my God!” I’m driving so fast and the cars around me are looking at me as I yell to no one in my car. I’ve got to get to Hem. Fuck, why do I just not have his number! Oh my god, Mace.
Pulling up to the Clubhouse I don’t see many bikes but I recognize Hem’s silver bike is there. Thank the Lord, maybe he’s around. I slip on my way to the stairs leading me to the house. I don’t feel the pain in my ankle, I’m not injured. I start to open the door and find its lock. “FUCK! HEM HEM HEM! PLEASE COME OUT! PLEASE” I’m banging on it, hard. No response.
All of a sudden the door swings open and a very pissed off Raider is standing in front of me in just his plaid pajama pants and socks. I don’t have time to process that now. “WHERE IS HEM? I NEED HEM.” I take no time busting in the door while pushing him to the side. Inside I see Kegs sitting at the bar. She looks directly at me and comes running to my side.
“Peyton, Oh my God. Are you okay? What are you doing here?”
“I NEED HEM, PLEASE SOMEONE FUCKING GET HIM HERE! FUCK!”
I hear someone coming from upstairs yelling at me. He doesn’t know it’s me but I know it’s him. “Who the fuck is yelling down here? Trying to enjoy my naked woman and all I hear is this ruckus. I told you Raider, keep shit quiet. What the fuck….” Finally he’s spotted me and I’m a basket case. All of my fear has finally been released just seeing him come down the last step. I’m no longer alone.
“HEM!” He comes running to me grabbing my shoulders. His face is sick in worry, he knows something terrible is happening.
“Hem… hem… oh god… Mace… She was… someone has…” He shakes me so hard I think I feel my teeth move.
“BITCH TELL ME! WHAT ABOUT MACE?” Immediately he turns to Raider giving me just a moment to collect my thoughts. “RAIDER, GET SHAME. NOW.” Raider nods and disappears out the back door.
“She… Hem… GREYSON HAS HER! HE TOOK HER. HE GRABBED HER OUTSIDE THE LIBRARY AND TOOK HER IN HIS CAR.”
The blood in his face has disappeared. He doesn’t blink, just processes what I’ve told him. I’m shaking under his touch, he’s gripping my arms tight.
*****
--Mace--
My head is killing me. This is my first thought as I roll to my side. I’m sick to my stomach and I’m afraid to open my eyes, feels like the room is spinning. Everything is quiet around me as I’m trying to gather my thoughts through the nausea and pain in my head. The smell is unsettling. I reach for my face, I feel something dripping into my eye. When I move my hand, I find I am stuck. Finally opening my eyes, I see where I am. Immediately I start to panic. This isn’t good. Both my hands are restrained over my head, I can’t confirm but I’m fairly certain that blood is dripping over a cut near my left eye. My stomach continues to roll. I’m remembering what happened. I was looking at Peyton… She wasn’t waiving at me anymore. She was scared.
“Well hello there, Mace.” Greyson. I don’t want to turn
my head. I can hear him coming closer to me, hear his steps. “I didn’t think the hit to your head would leave you out so long honey, I wouldn’t have hit you so hard. You just wouldn’t sleep you fuckin’ bitch.”
I turn my head. He looks like shit. He’s dressed in torn and bloody clothes. That’s my blood. Oh my god. “Grey? Is that you? Where am I?”
He laughs. God his laugh is evil. He leans down to me and I feel his hand on my stomach. I’m still staring at him and he’s smirking at me. He moves his hand down my stomach and into the top of my skirt. Oh no, please. No, I can’t do this. He can’t do this. Shame, oh god. “Please no Greyson. Please.”
He shoots his fist to me and I see the stars, he’s never once ever laid a hand on me. My right cheek is screaming in pain. I can’t cry though, I’ve got to stay in control.
“Please no Greyson? Fuck you slut. I’ve been thinking about this since I had that little Cherry whore laying right where you are now.” Roughly he’s pushing his fingers into me. I’m in pain, even there. He’s pushing so hard and deep into me, the tissues are on fire. “Oh honey, so dry. Let’s hope you wet a bit or you’re in for a long night.”
God, I can’t move. I’m shocked, hurting, alone, and scared. Shame, please find me. I love you.
“Where would you like to start tonight? Want to chat about all the shit you owe me for, and I will be collecting every humiliating mark from you by the way. Or would you like to just get down to it.” I flinch in fear but he smiles. “Bitch I’ve been beating off to you for weeks, fucking weeks thinking about being inside you how I want to be inside you. I’m going to fuck you so fucking hard you don’t ever get to fuck your man again without seeing my face. You’re a cunt. Seems you’re a bit dry, challenged extended?”
“Grey please.” He takes his hand out of me and pulls down my skirt and panties. I’m completely exposed from the waist down. I want to throw up, I feel so sick.