by Kara Louise
I told myself that had I been allowed to join them downstairs, I would have behaved impeccably. No one would have even taken notice of me. Perhaps some of the kitchen staff would have taken pity on me and slipped me a little of the excess food, as they occasionally did at Pemberley. I know that I let out an audible sigh as I contemplated this.
I was laying there for some time when I heard the door knob rattle. I perked my head up instantly, anxious to see my master and hear how he had fared. The door opened slightly but to my surprise, no one entered.
I watched intently, waiting for someone to make themselves known. I soon came to know who it was because of the soft sound of feet scampering away and the discernable scent of the person. The door had been opened by little Anne!
I watched and listened curiously, before deciding upon what I should do. I did not see Anne nor did I hear anything apart from the commotion downstairs. I could not ascertain what she was about. Perhaps she was bored, having been confined to her room, and was now simply walking the hallway as a diversion. Perhaps she did not know I was in the room. Perhaps she wished to deepen her acquaintance with me.
I got up slowly and walked toward the door. It was open just wide enough for me to poke my nose through. I pushed open the door and it swung open wide enough for me to peer out. Looking to the right and then to the left, I finally saw her. She was lying in a prone position, peering through the railing at the people below.
She casually looked at me and then back to the goings-on below. I was unsure whether she was actually inviting me to join her or if she was terrified of me. I hoped it was not the latter and got down on my belly and edged slowly toward her. Whilst still a safe distance from her, I stopped and looked down through the railing at the vast array of elegantly dressed people beneath us. Occasionally, the young Miss de Bourgh let a soft sigh escape.
As I watched the spectacle below, I heard Anne say something. I perked up my head and looked over at her. She had reached out her hand towards me, but I was too far away for her to reach me. As I slowly came toward her, she timidly drew her hand away and I stopped again. She soon changed her mind and stretched her hand out again. This time I came close enough for her to reach me and she very softly touched my fur.
“Soft,” was all she said.
My thoughts quickly reverted back to Lady Cat’s words that Anne was terrified of dogs. I would have to strongly disagree. She was no more terrified of me than I was of her. I believed her to have simply not had contact with many dogs before and regarded me with curiosity.
She seemed content to lightly brush my fur with her hands. She would occasionally point to something below and giggle. I believe she was telling me the names of the guests attending the dinner party.
My attention was drawn back downstairs and I kept an eye out for my master. When I espied him, I involuntarily snapped to attention, just as Anne did. We both saw him at just about same time. I sneaked a peek at her and beheld her eyes momentarily brighten and her lips form the slightest smile. But again, the brightness in her eyes and her smile slowly diminished, a look of concern replacing them.
Turning my attention back to my master, I watched him walk out of the large ballroom and over to the fireplace in the great hall below, placing his arm upon the mantel. I could almost feel his discomfort as strongly as I saw it on his face. We sat silently, watching as his cousin approached him, making a futile attempt to nudge him back into the other room and back to the guests.
I could not help but study my master and ponder his conduct. When he had so much in his favour and so many advantages, what, I wondered, prompted such reticence in these types of situations?
As Anne and I watched the two young men converse, Anne scooted a little closer to me. Her hand continued to stroke down my back and I almost forgot about my master below until she spoke, again softly, “He does not like being there. All the attention he is getting makes him ill at ease. He does not enjoy being the centre of attention.”
I lifted my head and looked at her, quite stunned. She had spoken hardly a word earlier when we were downstairs. I finally collected myself and turned back to the dinner party down below. I rested my head upon my paws, but was just barely able to see what was going on downstairs. I contemplated this young girl who was indeed small, frail, ordinary in looks, and restrained in conversation. But there was one thing I knew as a certainty. This little Anne probably knew more about what was going on in this house than anyone else!
Chapter 4
I must have fallen asleep because the next thing of which I became aware was the sound of people taking their leave from Rosings. I was surprised to feel something pressing down upon my belly. I groggily lifted my head and strained to turn it, only to see that Anne had fallen asleep as well, with one arm stretched out across me.
I moved as gently as possible so as not to waken her and turned my attention back downstairs. I saw that the last of the guests had departed and the house was empty now save my master, his cousin, his aunt, and the servants who were now busily cleaning up.
The two young men wished their aunt a good night and began making their way up the stairs, engaged in animated conversation whilst Lady Cat’s callous demands to her servants on how to clean up more effectively echoed from below.
“Fitzwilliam, what do you plan to do with that stash of food! That is absolutely abominable of you!” My master spoke with more fervour than I had seen him display the whole of the evening. And although he tried to appear disgusted with his cousin, a small, teasing smile crept across his lips.
Fitzwilliam took a bite and mumbled, “I plan to eat throughout the night. I simply cannot bear to let all this epicurean delight go to waste!”
Fitzwilliam laughed and I observed my master give his cousin a censuring look, such as a father would, for speaking with his mouth full of food.
“But speaking of abominable… your behaviour tonight, Darcy…” Fitzwilliam swallowed and then continued. “What were you thinking? I have seen your dog exhibit better manners than you did in front of all those guests this evening!”
My master lost all sense of merriment and I was at a loss to know whether to take his cousin’s words as a compliment or a censure.
“I did not feel at ease with anyone here,” my master dolefully responded.
“Come, Darcy! You must learn to apply yourself in situations such as these! I know you to be a bit more lively and definitely more civil than you were this evening. You planted yourself against the mantel of the fireplace or stood at the window, disengaged from everyone far too often. There is no excuse for it! I found most of the people here tonight at least tolerable!”
“You were not the object of strained necks, stares with mouths agape, and whispers and murmurings to one another. I heard their comments about my 10,000 pounds, my estate… And the way our aunt paraded me before everyone! I felt as though I was being auctioned off… as if I were some prize horse to be bought or a piece of property to be surveyed,” my master scowled.
“You are!” Fitzwilliam laughed softly. “I suggest you accustom yourself to it, Darcy. Just look at you! Handsome, wealthy, set to inherit one of the finest estates in the country! How else do you expect people to behave around you?”
“They could at least attempt to become truly acquainted with me. Everyone was so polite and agreed with everything I said. It became quite tedious! Their honey-drenched flattery dripped from their mouths at every opportunity, as if that was all that was required to secure my esteem.”
“But certainly you see the benefit of being well-liked and admired by everyone. Just think of all the pretty young ladies who will do anything to secure your notice! Heavens, Darcy! If I did not like you as much as I do, if I did not hold you in the highest esteem, if you were not so completely faultless, I would positively loathe you!”
“But why?”
“Because, good cousin, if you did not notice all the eyes of the beautiful young ladies back there upon you, I did! You will be able to have an
ything you want in life. As for myself, I stand in the shadow of my elder brother and my cousin, with only tolerable looks, and no one takes an immediate interest in me as they do you. You have no idea how envious I am of you!”
“There is no reason for you to be.” My master let out a breath of frustrated air. “How am I to determine whether it is me that they esteem and admire and not my estate or position in society?”
Fitzwilliam laughed again, but was prevented from answering when the two men reached the top of the stairs and stopped short. Both pair of eyes widened in surprise as they settled upon little Anne and me.
“Well, look at that, Darce! It appears as though your young wife has taken a liking to your dog!”
“She is not and will never be my wife!” my master said in a harsh whisper that I could only barely hear and I hoped little Anne did not.
I looked at my master with worry etched across my face. I narrowed my eyebrows, wondering if he would be angry with me for being out of the room and let out a trifling whine to assure him that I knew that I was not quite where he expected me to be. Hopefully he would understand that it was not all my fault.
“Anne must have opened your door, Darcy. It appears to me that our wise and infallible aunt was incorrect about Anne’s fear of dogs. Just look at her, lying there fast asleep with her arm about him!”
“What are we to do?”
“We?” Fitzwilliam looked in helpless pretence at my master as he held out his hands. “My hands are full. I suggest you carry her back to her chamber.”
With that suggestion, Fitzwilliam nonchalantly turned and continued on to his quarters.
“Cousin, wait!” Darcy’s words hit deaf ears. Or perhaps ears that were not inclined to respond.
He let out a huff. “Very well, Reggie. Let me untangle her from you and return her to her room.”
I watched as he easily scooped her up off the floor. As she was lifted, she turned her head into his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. She never opened her eyes, but I had the feeling little Anne was not asleep and that this would be the closest she would ever come to having her promised one hold her. I watched and waited as he carried her the short distance down the hall into her bedchamber and almost as quickly as he entered, he stepped out, looking somewhat relieved. He took unusually brisk steps back towards me and we returned to our room.
*~*~*
For the remainder of our stay at Rosings, there were no more surprise dinner engagements at Rosings and therefore no more furtive spying trysts with little Anne, but the effects of that first night lingered with my master. Unfortunately for him, they did have invitations to several engagements in response to that first evening’s dinner that they were required to attend. Although I could not observe as I had at that night at Rosings, I eagerly listened to my master when he returned and it was always the same.
As Anne had so discerningly put it, “He does not enjoy being the centre of attention.”
He came in late one evening and had barely ridded himself of his formal attire when he threw himself upon the bed. He restlessly tossed and turned and I waited patiently, knowing he would want to eventually relate to me the events of the evening.
He finally rolled toward me and reached out to scratch my head. In the darkness of the room I could see his eyes drifting aimlessly about.
“Reggie,” he began, “I am not quite sure I can handle one more of these affairs. Richard told me they are good for me. He says that in a few years I shall eagerly embrace every invitation extended to me and will accept and attend in good spirits. Or at least I had better.”
Letting out a deep sigh, he continued. “I know these people are the very same people I will encounter in London and who will frequent the same circles of society as I. I just do not enjoy the fact that Aunt Catherine insists on making such a grand spectacle of me in front of all her acquaintances.”
He was silent for a moment and I could see his brows furrow as if he was trying to determine something. He gave his head a slight shake and went on. “What I am at a loss to understand is, if she is so insistent on my marrying her daughter, why does she parade me in front of everyone, lavishing me with praise and accolades as if I am an eligible man in want of a wife?”
He continued scratching my head, moving his fingers to the area behind my ears that I find so pleasant and I let out an empathetic moan. At least I tried to make it sound empathetic. It could have been a purely indulgent one. He said no more and at length his fingers ceased their scratching and his breathing grew deeper. He was asleep. I consoled myself with the fact that it was because I was a good listener and he was able to share his deepest thoughts with me.
Whilst I came to expect my master’s discomfiture when he returned from these engagements, even within the small confines of the family at Rosings he was not without consternation, either. Every time his aunt lavished praise on him, which she was moved to do quite often over the course of a conversation, he tensed. Her undivided and piercing attention towards him made him squirm uncomfortably more than once whilst visiting in the sitting room or eating at the dining room table. His aunt made more frequent assertions about the promised marriage, speaking of her expectations of their felicity. My master would turn to his cousin with a pleading look, only to receive a reassuring smile in return. My master knew he was not to counter her, at least not at his young age.
Each day Anne would come down at the prescribed time and join the family. She never spoke, but I began to understand through her eyes that she greatly feared her mother’s disapprobation and therefore, dared not risk saying or doing anything that might irritate her. But as the rest of us sat in the drawing room and talked, I believed her to be listening and observing, storing it all up for her to meditate on over and over; especially every word my master said.
The one pleasant distraction my master and I shared was our walks around Rosings. I eagerly joined him in his early morning or late evening walks and we would venture off along different paths and lanes. I soon found that my master had favourite ones that he preferred over others. It was when he was outside alone with me that I felt he was truly himself and completely happy.
Finally, after enduring four dinner engagements, two dances, and one party at an elegant lodge, my master was more than eager to depart. Our time at Rosings was complete and we prepared to leave.
As we were gathered at the door on the morning of our departure, Lady Catherine belied her usual severe hand on Anne and allowed her to visit with us all in the sitting room and follow the party to the door as we were to leave. I believed Lady Cat had the hope that her nephew would give her daughter some sort of encouraging display that she might hold on to as a promise. But my master hastily bid her a simple farewell and turned to leave. I saw resignation sweep across the young girl’s face. I comprehended that it was not out of hope disappointed, but from expectations met. She knew him too well to believe he would oblige her in any way.
Her attentions were turned to me and she kneeled down, wrapping her small arms around my neck. She hugged me a little too tightly and I felt a quiver shoot through her.
“Anne! Unhand that germ-infested dog!”
I jumped and Anne jumped. My master sharply turned around and came back. “Excuse me, Aunt, but he is not germ infested and in my estimation, Anne would likely benefit from an animal like him for her own.” He looked at me and then to Anne, his eyes widening and turning toward the ground as he realized had contradicted his aunt whilst at the same time standing up for his frail cousin.
I cautiously looked to the great Lady Cat and noticed a fleeting trace of anger take hold of her, but she steeled herself. “Nephew, if that is what you believe is best for your Anne, I shall take it into consideration. I would do anything to secure her comfort and happiness for you.”
My master closed his eyes tightly as a wide smile brightened Anne’s face. But I do not believe her smile was due to the talk and hope of belonging to him. I believe she indulged the hope that she mi
ght soon obtain a companionable dog of her own. And truth be told, that gave me just as much pleasure.
Lady Cat walked out with us, leaving Anne to remain inside, in the dark, smothering world to which she was accustomed. It warmed my heart, however, to know that during our short stay, she was made just a little happier.
As we clambered into the carriage, Lady Cat issued her final words to us. “Now, nephews, I insist we make this a yearly event. I will not brook any disappointment on the matter. I do expect to see you often during the year as you visit with the rest of your family, but we shall plan on just the two of you coming around Easter from now on.”
It was amusing to me that she completely disregarded the fact that Fitzwilliam had been making it an annual event for several years now. In her eyes, however, the addition of my master to the visit lent much distinction and she was quick to ensure he would return on a regular basis. And that we did.
*~*~*
My master and his cousin spent a few days in London. It was an enjoyable time that restored the liveliness back into my master that his cousin knew he was able to exhibit. The two cousins reluctantly parted ways and it was with much eagerness and joyful expectation that my master and I finally set off back to Pemberley.
It was a long day’s journey and I was sleeping comfortably on the floor inside the carriage when the familiar scent of home penetrated my nostrils. I lifted my head to see my master gazing out the window with a serene look of contentment on his face. I jumped up onto the seat next to him and looked out, taking in a deep breath and revelling in that oh, so familiar aroma of the woods that surround our home.
My master looked over at me and could not help but notice the incontrollable wagging of my tail. “Yes, Reggie. We are finally home. It is good, is it not?”
I thought it appropriate to let out an affirming bark.