by Kara Louise
Unwittingly, I let a whine escape, and Bingley pulled her back to release her hold on me. “She still has a little puppy in her, as you can see. I had my stablehand fence this area in for her so she can come outside, or in inclement weather, she can slip inside the stable. Reggie, of course, is free to stay with you inside, Darcy, as he is accustomed.”
“I thank you, Bingley. And I am sure, if Reggie could talk, he would thank you, as well.”
Bingley placed Sadie back in the fenced in area and we set off to do some more touring of the grounds. Just as we were about to follow the path behind some trees, I turned back to steal one last glance at Sadie, who was watching our movement intently.
My heart felt a small leap when I looked back at her, but my mind was ill at ease. I could not dismiss the question my master asked his friend of her breeding. I thought again back to the day he came and selected me over all the others, even those of a more superior lineage. His father seemed more concerned that I was not from the finest bred litters. I was very grateful then that my master did not seem so inclined and had defended his choice as being the finest for him. Now, I wondered whether he regretted his choice. Did he now, as Master of Pemberley, see things differently? Did he now view that as highly important? I could not help but wonder.
*~*~*
Almost immediately upon our arrival, neighbours began making calls and leaving their cards. Bingley was in such good humour to receive everyone and felt inclined to approve of them all. My master did not seem to have a similar leaning. He did not join his friend in making the acquaintances when they called at Netherfield nor did he join his friend’s visits when he repaid the call. Instead, he chose to sequester himself in the small, sparsely laden library, I suspect in part to stay out of the way of the sisters, whereas Bingley enjoyed the esteem and society of his new neighbours.
It was somewhat disheartening to me to see this young man enter into this new neighbourhood with such eager anticipation and joy, whilst his sisters, Mr. Hurst, and my master all bore it with such indifference. There were certainly no complaints about the house itself, but they found much to decry about the inferiority of the surrounding neighbourhood. To her credit, Miss Bingley did her best to exude hospitality and graciousness in her role as Mistress of Netherfield; however behind the backs of her new neighbours she was critical and displeased.
They were vigilant to keep their harshest remarks amongst themselves, although I do not believe it would have swayed Bingley’s jubilance. He lived in a grand home and looked forward to everything that being its master would signify.
Bingley’s enthusiasm became almost unbearable -- even to me -- when he and his whole party were invited to an assembly that was to be held in Meryton. Nothing could dampen Bingley’s fervour, even as his sisters bemoaned having to endure such a tedious affair and my master grew exceptionally quiet. I immediately recognized the uneasiness in his demeanour steadily growing as Bingley grew increasingly animated in his anticipation.
*~*~*
As my master’s valet was helping him dress for the assembly, I watched from my vantage point on the bed. As usual, he allowed his man to pick out his wardrobe that best suited the occasion, and was therefore dressed, on his part, with very little apparent interest or concern. He completely trusted his valet with the styles and colours and ultimate outcome of his dress, and worried not of it himself.
It appeared to me that the less thought he put into this evening, the easier it would be on him and the sooner the evening would be over. I could feel his anxiety building as his man added his final touches whilst he expertly tied his neck cloth.
“Anything else, Sir?” he asked.
“No, thank you. You may go.”
“Have a good evening, Sir.”
My master ran his fingers inside the neck of his shirt and neckcloth as he seemed to struggle swallowing. “Thank you.”
The valet exited the room and there was silence. My master did not move for several moments. He looked over at me and I noticed a small smile briefly appear and then vanish.
“I know what you are thinking, Reggie. You are wondering why I endure all this for the sake of a friend!” He let out a laugh that was accompanied by a tight smile and took in another deep breath. “But this should be considered a small courtesy for such a friend. It has always given me much satisfaction how he has continually esteemed me and savoured the counsel I have given him.”
I could certainly agree with him that his friend highly regarded his prodigious guidance.
My master turned toward the mirror and continued to nervously play with his neck cloth, loosening its strangling hold.
“Yet, to own the truth, Bingley and I are of such very different temperaments. I always wished that some of his ease of manner and light-hearted demeanour would find its way through to me.” He slowly shook his head. “Tonight he will effortlessly make new acquaintances and strike up conversations with people he scarcely knows. He will dance with every young lady in attendance, admiring her and, I might add, giving her false hopes.” He reached down and picked up a goblet that had been brought in for him earlier, downing its contents. Shaking his head once, he added, “I cannot do that, Reggie. It is not within me.”
Giving his coat a sharp tug, he continued, “As a result, I will be most assuredly ill at ease the whole of the evening and will have the most dreadful time.”
I let out a sympathetic moan and he walked toward the door. “Come, Reggie. I do not suppose I can delay this any longer.”
We joined the others downstairs and I looked over everyone dressed up in their finest. Whilst I own that I know nothing of fashion, I believed they would all be admired and welcomed by the neighbourhood. I kept my distance from Miss Bingley, however, who had some horrendously strong scent splashed over her that was assaulting my nose.
My master bade me a good evening and I watched as a stone-like visage implanted itself on his face. Bingley’s cheerful farewell was quite a contrast to the four other members of his party who, one would think, were on their way to their own funeral.
When the party stepped outdoors and walked toward the waiting carriages, I followed. As the servants were tending them, I caught Sadie’s faint scent and decided to pay her a visit. She had frequently been in my thoughts of late and I had not had the opportunity to see her, so I quietly and imperceptibly slipped behind the carriages and then ambled down toward the stables. Because I had learned to be most proficient at keeping myself out from under the staff’s feet, I was quite certain that I would not be missed by them.
As I came upon the stables, Sadie eagerly welcomed me. Her excited bark heralded my arrival to the stablehand. Coming out, he looked surprised to see me.
“Well, Reggie. What are you doing here? Did everyone leave you this evening?”
I let out a quick bark and looked over at Sadie.
“Ahh! You wish to spend the evening with your new friend, do you?” He brought his hand up and rubbed his chin contemplating this. I wondered if he would send me directly back to the house.
“Now I know, Reggie, that Mr. Darcy would not think kindly of you being out in the pen with Sadie with all that dirt, so...” He walked over and picked up a long leather lead. “I will allow you and Sadie to come into the stable, but she must remain on the lead. I must get some things done and cannot keep my eye on her. Will that do, boy?”
I barked again in agreement and he walked out, opening the gate and slipping the lead over Sadie’s head. He brought her in and I could see that this was something he must have done often, as she seemed to know exactly what was expected of her.
He walked back out and retrieved a few of her toys. “Here are your toys, Sadie. Share them with Reggie.” Then he looked directly at me. “Reggie, as soon as the carriages return, Sadie goes back in her pen and you go back to the house. I am not sure your master would be pleased knowing you spent your evening out here.” Then he winked at me. “Just behave yourself.”
Sadie tried to engage me in
a sort of tug-o-war with what appeared to be an old stocking, with which I obliged her until I was too worn out. She looked at me curiously with her big brown eyes and I am quite certain she wondered why I did not scamper about with her. Most likely she did not comprehend that I did not have even half of the energy and playfulness that she had.
But I enjoyed myself. I found a comfortable corner and settled myself into it, watching as she ferociously and vigorously shook an old stuffed doll as if it had been some hunted creature, and rolled a ball around, occasionally tossing it into the air and making every attempt to catch it or rolling it towards me in the hopes that I would retrieve it. It was apparent to me that she had often been allowed to come in here tethered, as she very aptly manoeuvred around the lead, even quickly unravelling herself if she found her legs entangled. How I wished to join her. But I contented myself to simply watch.
The time passed all too quickly. When we heard the carriages approaching, I found myself not a little disappointed. The stablehand came out and ordered me on my way as he returned Sadie to her pen and began making preparations to receive the horses. I found myself quite eager to join my master, however saddened I was to leave my friend. But I had to admit that I had not even once, in the course of the evening, given any thought to my master and how he was faring.
The front doors were opened to the great house just as my master stepped down from the carriage. He looked down and saw me, a question in his eyes, but he warmly greeted me. I followed everyone in, curious as to the state in which I would find my master. Everyone walked in quietly, excepting Bingley, who was giving everyone a lively account of their evening at the assembly.
Then, with an eagerness to be to his room, my master bade everyone a good night. As we approached his chambers, he waved off his man when he offered to help him into his nightclothes.
I could see that he wished to be alone. That most likely meant that the evening had passed exactly as he had expected and he had behaved exactly as I had anticipated he would.
He quickly untied his neck cloth, letting it drop to the floor. He took off his coat and merely placed it over a chair. Unbuttoning his shirt, he stopped and took in a deep breath. Looking over at me, he said, “It was just as intolerable as I suspected it would be, Reggie! The neighbourhood here is an objectionable hodgepodge of inferior connections, ill breeding, and even a total want of propriety! There was not one admirable…” He paused here, as if probing his mind to the truth of what he was about to say.
However, that was all he said and I looked at him curiously, tilting my head, expecting to hear him elaborate on his last remark. But instead, he proceeded to divest himself of his clothes and impatiently put on the nightshirt that his man had set out for him. He climbed into bed and I eagerly joined him. I wished for him to tell me more of this evening, and yet, how I wished I could tell him of mine. But that was not to be.
When we were both settled in, I anticipated a good night’s sleep, but instead, I laid there with my eyes wide open. I could not close them! My heart beat wildly as I thought back to my whole evening spent with Sadie. She was a pretty thing and very well tempered, I might add. She had a gentle spirit, albeit occasionally she would get a little too lively in her playfulness for my disposition. How grateful I was for this new friend. My only concern was that she might consider me too dull or too old for her liking.
I unwittingly let out a moan and turned my head. Fearful that I had awakened my master, I looked guiltily towards him. To my surprise, I saw something that quite arrested my attention. He was lying flat on his back with his hands folded up under his head and his eyes were wide open as well, staring off into the darkness! Now, I know why I had been thus engaged, but I wondered what it was that was causing this wakefulness in him.
Was he unsettled about something or was there some other basis for his behaviour? I knew he had not enjoyed himself at the assembly, but that was not enough to make him lose sleep. Typically, when he was troubled, he would talk about it. He would toss and turn, as if thrashing his body around would ease things. But tonight, he was lying perfectly still, yet wide awake for some unexplainable reason.
I nudged toward him to let him know I was awake and he could let me know what was on his mind, but he only took in a deep breath and let it out in a huff. Rolling over, he took his fist and pounded it into his pillow, fluffing it up only to make a soft landing place for his head, which he plunged into it.
All I heard him say, again, was an emphatic declaration, “No! There was not one!”
*~*~*
The following day, Miss Bingley did everything in her power to recruit my master to join in her disapprobation against the local populace. I could not discern if his distracted agreement was his attempt to be a polite guest or his true assessment of the neighbourhood, but there was something else to his demeanour that I could not place.
I listened with curiosity as Bingley prattled on in endless admiration about his most pleasant evening and Miss Bingley fumed in indignant disapproval. My master took little notice of either in his apparent preoccupation with something pressing more urgently upon him and he appeared miles away. He seemed somewhat reflective; less resolute in his words and actions.
Throughout the day, I was dismayed to find that whenever Miss Bingley had the opportunity, she cornered my master and raised her concerns. It was either about the insipidity of the neighbourhood, the most inappropriate way her brother was going on about one particular lady, or her impatience to return to London and refined society.
It was after the evening meal, when we were all gathered in the sitting room, when I began to get an inkling about something -- or perhaps I should say someone, that was partly responsible for my master’s unusual behaviour.
Bingley had again brought up the subject of the most pleasant time that was had at the assembly the previous night.
“I have rarely enjoyed myself more,” he declared. “And did you not think Miss Bennet the most beautiful creature you have ever seen? I could never conceive an angel more beautiful.” Looking directly at my master, he asked, “What did you think, Darcy?”
“I will concur that Miss Bennet is pretty, however, to my taste, she smiles too much.”
“Oh, but Darcy what a sweet smile she has!” Bingley said with a pronounced sigh.
Caroline interjected at this point, “It is unfortunate, Brother, that she has such a family! I was quite surprised to hear that the locals consider Miss Elizabeth Bennet to be a beauty as well.”
My master stiffly walked over to the fireplace and rested his elbow on the mantel. “Which one was she?” he asked, averting his eyes from everyone in the room.
Bingley stood up from his chair. “She is the one you refused to dance with last night!” He walked over and stood next to his friend. “I cannot believe you meant what you said last night about her being only tolerable, Darcy! Granted, she is not as pretty as Miss Bennet, but you have to admit her pretty, as well!”
Waiting for my master to reply, I looked up at him and saw him pause. A faraway look had infused his eyes, but was quickly replaced with a straightening of his shoulders and a granite look coming to his features. “Miss Elizabeth Bennet pretty? I should as soon call her mother a wit!”
I turned to see Caroline beaming with pleasure whilst I was rather shocked at my master’s callous rudeness.
“Come, Darcy!” argued Bingley. “You cannot believe that!”
His jaw tightened as he went on, “I hold to my assessment. She hardly has a good feature in her face!”
“Well, I say it was your behaviour last night that was barely tolerable. To refuse to dance with her and to speak of her so when she was within hearing! I am quite convinced she overheard you!”
My master cast him a sharp glance and I began to sense there was something about this merely tolerable young lady that was prompting the state in which he found himself. I looked despairingly at him, considering his behaviour. I had rarely witnessed such rudeness, except with the likes
of someone such as Wickham. I was inclined to believe that his rudeness was due to the fact that we had been too long in Caroline’s presence and her behaviour was beginning to have an affect on him. But then, I wondered if perhaps it was something else, instead.
As I pondered this, Bingley continued, “I have never met with more pleasant people nor prettier girls in my whole life! Everyone was most kind and attentive to me!” I looked up and seeing Bingley beaming, could easily picture him last night with his easy manners, enjoying himself immensely.
He smiled as he paused to sip from his glass, reflecting back on the evening. “There was no tedious formality that one finds so often in these affairs, no stiffness. I found it quite refreshing and quite easily and quickly found myself acquainted with the whole room!”
Either ignoring the look that was exchanged between his sisters or oblivious to it, his eyes took on a rather dreamy state as he let another pensive sigh escape.
My master, on the other hand, steeled himself against some unknown force and continued, “On the contrary, Bingley, I saw nothing but a collection of people in whom there was little beauty and no fashion.”
“I heartily agree, Mr. Darcy!” Caroline’s consensus was too swift for my satisfaction.
He continued, “I received neither attention nor pleasure from anyone.” The image of a beaming Bingley gave way in my mind to the image of my master glowering in the corner, miserable and avoiding the society of anyone. I disconsolately put my head down upon my paws. It had been too long since he had truly enjoyed himself. I wondered if he ever would be able to enjoy himself again. I felt the smallest tinge of guilt for the delightful evening I had spent with Sadie. Now it was my turn to let out a long, drawn out sigh.
By the end of the evening, both Bingley’s sisters agreed with my master on the plainness of the neighbourhood on the whole, but allowed that Miss Jane Bennet was indeed a pretty and sweet girl and therefore gave their brother the freedom to think of her as he chose; which he was more than inclined to do.