by Kara Louise
I lay my head down on the bed that night and for the first time in my life, not so cordial feelings towards my master swelled up within me.
*~*~*
Miss Bennet was invited to dine at Netherfield later that week. I held on to the hope that the invitation would extend to Miss Elizabeth, but she was not to come. Bingley was most attentive to his guest and whilst his sisters politely discoursed with her, I could see that they were both in agreement that indeed Miss Bennet was very sweet, but that their brother should not raise her hopes by bestowing too much attention on her.
On those occasions when Miss Bennet joined Bingley and his sisters, my master accompanied them in eating the meal, but then left them to the company of themselves and opportunely occupied himself with reading or writing letters. It appeared as though he was willing to extend to her only a negligible amount of civilities that he was obliged to do.
I sensed more and more that my master’s discontent here was increasing; that he saw little that prompted him to step out from his reserve and engage himself with others in this country neighbourhood. And that saddened me.
*~*~*
On the evening of the gathering at Lucas Lodge, I again watched as my master’s valet gathered the clothes for him to wear. I was sure my master was not looking forward to having to endure the “inferior society,” as Miss Bingley was wont to call it in front of him. My only conjecture on what constituted an inferior society was based upon my own experience. I recollected that years ago, when I was still in the care of my mother with my siblings, we often heard the gentleman who oversaw our care refer to our litter as being somewhat inferior to one of the others.
I gathered that it meant that we were considered less preferable in our parentage as the other litter of pups. But in observing those other pups’ appearance and behaviour, I never noticed any particulars that would explain it satisfactorily to me. In the same light, even though it was hinted that Sadie was not of the finest breeding, she was, indeed, perfect in my eyes. I was of the same mind toward Miss Elizabeth, as well.
I now observed my master as he watched his friend, who was most gregarious and unassuming, cheerfully accept every invitation and wholeheartedly welcome these villagers into his home. Bingley found them all to be charming people and treated them all equally and graciously. My master, as well as Bingley’s sisters, did not seem to hold them in the same high regard and there was much to decry about having to attend that evening, which left me in quite solemn spirits, if for no other reason than I hated to see my master be in accord with Bingley’s supercilious sisters.
I looked forward, however, to spending the evening with Sadie again, and this time did not need to sneak out, as the stablehand had informed my master of my earlier rendezvous with her, and it was settled that I could spend the evening in the same way. As my master stepped up into the carriage, he waved me on toward the stables and I eagerly obliged.
Sadie was already tethered in the stables and the stablehand warmly greeted me. Sadie had been playing with one of her toys, but quickly dropped it when she noticed me and pulled at the tether, prancing about, and greeting me in her engaging way. I walked up and I acknowledged her by coming up and touching noses.
I settled down for an enjoyable evening watching Sadie continue to play with an exuberance of energy. Occasionally she would prance over to me, trying to engage me in her play. I would oblige her with a more subdued and brief version of her sport and then content myself with merely observing.
Reminiscent of the evening of the assembly, the evening passed quickly, due greatly in part to Sadie keeping me entertained, and again I gave no thought to my master and how he was faring.
When we heard the carriage entering the park, the stablehand sent me to await its arrival and I made my way back to the house. I was anxious to see my master and paid particular attention to his demeanour. I wondered whether he would be as plagued with distress as he had been after the evening spent at the assembly. His quick strides up the stairs gave me little inclination as to his mood, but there was something rather odd that caught my attention: my master was whistling! But it was not the familiar whistling to which I was accustomed when he called me, but rather it was melodic, rather like the music I would hear Georgiana faithfully practicing on the pianoforte at Pemberley. I was not aware of any particular tune, rather just little sounds that flowed in lively variance.
Just as we reached the top, Miss Bingley called up from downstairs, “Mr. Darcy, I do hope you can sleep well tonight and not be kept awake with thoughts of those fine eyes!”
His whistling stopped and he turned abruptly, looking down at her, eyes narrowing and a noticeable flush permeating his face. Making no response, he turned toward his room as Miss Bingley and her sister twittered with laughter.
When his valet offered his help to remove his evening clothes, again he dismissed him. This time, however, he neatly removed his neckcloth, folding it carefully and laying it on his dresser. Removing waistcoat and shirt, he hung them up carefully, alongside his discarded breeches. Putting on his nightshirt, he glanced in the mirror. A very contented smile found its way to my master’s countenance.
“She does have fine eyes… very fine eyes! I see no harm in admiring a lady’s fine eyes, do you, Reggie?” He took in a deep breath and then let it out slowly. “Perhaps the harm done was confessing the object of my admiration to Miss Bingley. She will most likely not show mercy with her teasing. At the time, I confess my mind was too agreeably engaged to consider how imprudent it was of me to make mention of it to her.”
He turned and looked at me. “She does have beautiful eyes, Reggie. Dark… intelligent… beautiful eyes.”
I greatly wished him to tell me more!
Did someone new attend this assembly that he finally found to be worthy of his admiration? I wondered. Was it some superbly accomplished young lady? My tail wagged in eager expectation of finding out more about this lady he admired!
He extinguished the candles, but instead of coming over to the bed, he walked over to the window. He crossed his arms in front of him and looked out. I knew that if I exercised some patience, he might be willing to confide in me. Therefore, I sat in anticipation upon the bed, my tail wagging as a sign of my trustworthiness.
His eyes remained steadfastly gazing out the window as he began to talk. “I regret to inform you, Reggie, that the fault is yours that this has happened.”
My tail immediately ceased wagging and I put my head down in remorse as I began to wonder to what his censure of me was due.
He turned around to face me, but instead of a reprimanding glare, he smiled. “The day she paid a call, I walked in looking for you and observed her attentions to you. She had such an expression of warmth and beauty on her face that quite enchanted me!” He smiled in recollection, but it quickly left his countenance. “That is, of course, until she glanced up and noticed me standing there!”
My tail began uncontrollably wagging now, as I began to understand that it was Miss Elizabeth who had him so captivated! I was delighted that he had allowed himself to appreciate a certain quality of character over breeding, much as he had done when he selected me.
He walked back over to the bed and sat down, propping himself up on one elbow and reaching over to scratch me behind my ears. “You might recall me stating emphatically that I found nothing fashionable in her form and carriage.” He shook his head. “But, tonight, I could only find her figure as light and pleasing. Moreover, her manners have an easy playfulness to them that I found most appealing.” He pulled his hand away and brought it up to capture his jaw, rubbing it in thought. “Nay, her eyes are only one of the many attractive features on her face.”
He lay down on the bed, putting his hands behind his head and staring up into the darkness. “I must confess, Reggie, that again my behaviour towards her tonight was not exactly that of a gentleman.”
I felt my heart sink as I pondered what it was that he might have done this evening that would put him f
urther into Miss Elizabeth’s disapprobation.
He brought one hand out from under his head and raked his fingers through his hair. His voice took on a soft, meditative tone and he appeared preoccupied and thoughtful, as if recollecting something from earlier that evening. “I could not take my eyes off of her the whole of the evening. I unabashedly stared at her as if I was some besotted youth! In addition, I was hard pressed not to eavesdrop on a conversation of hers, which did not escape her notice, I fear.”
He turned towards me then and brushed his hand down along my back. “I had no wish to refrain from looking at her and cared little what anyone thought. You will be astonished to know I did not even take offence when she refused to accept my invitation to dance.”
I chuffed in sympathy, and he patted the top of my head to show his appreciation for my concern. “She was only repaying me for the insult I paid to her at the assembly. But I only cared that I was able to gaze into her eyes.”
He rolled onto his back, taking the same pensive position as before. “I am of the opinion that the moment she refused me was when I found her most beautiful!” He turned his head towards me, “Do you think that odd, Reggie?”
I let out a whimper to assure him that I did not. For in that moment, I realized part of Miss Elizabeth’s charm was that unlike Miss Bingley, she did not hold him in reverence due to his wealth and status. She had no wish to use her arts to draw him in; in fact, she was doing quite the opposite… but with the same results!
My master continued, “Unfortunately, it was at that moment that Miss Bingley accosted me. I was meditating on Miss Elizabeth’s fine eyes and pretty face. If I had more sense about me, I would never have confessed those thoughts to her.” He groaned and scathingly spit out, “For the remainder of the evening, Miss Bingley was relentless in her wishes of marital felicity and comments on what a fine mother-in-law I would have! Now I must endure her teasing, when… when in truth,” he suddenly turned wistful. “It is really nothing, nothing at all.”
He lifted his head and took both his pillow in both hands, plumping it up before crashing his head down upon it again.
“Marriage to Miss Elizabeth! I barely know her!” His voice took a rather sullen turn, “I do comprehend that she is completely unsuitable for me. Her relative family situation is insupportable. Her connections…” He paused for a few moments, his deep breathing the only sound I could hear and I wondered whether instead of merely informing me of her inferior traits, he was trying instead to convince himself.
In an even lower voice, filled with something like regret, he continued, “But I cannot dismiss what a joy it was tonight to observe a lady who not only is pleasing in appearance, but is intelligent as well. She is well informed on almost every subject, able to articulate her opinions, of which she holds no small amount, quite admirably.”
I noticed his eyes close and I closed mine with a great sense of satisfaction and anticipation of a good night’s sleep.
But then he added very softly, almost as an afterthought, “And she is delightfully lively…”
*~*~*
My master, quite surprisingly to me, allowed himself the liberty to dwell on this young lady at great length. For the next few days, I knew at once when his thoughts meandered to her. Unbeknownst to himself and apparently, the others, there was a particular look that came across his face coupled with a marked increase in his breathing. I could barely resist acknowledging these observations with an enthusiastic wagging of my tail.
A few days later, Bingley received and accepted an invitation to dine with some officers in Meryton. To my surprise, this was somewhat acceptable to my master, who seemed quite disposed to accompany his friend, commenting that he hoped to find intelligent conversation amongst them.
When it was settled that all three gentlemen would go, Bingley subtly suggested that his sisters invite Miss Bennet to tea so they could spend some time with her alone and deepen their acquaintance. Whilst this was met with polite acquiescence, I sensed that they were truly not as delighted as they led him to believe.
On the day the men were to go out and Miss Bennet was to arrive, a cold darkness invaded the county. Throughout the morning, the sun fought the clouds for dominance in the sky, but it was finally quenched as a blanket of dark, thick clouds filled the sky. I could feel in my bones that a storm was imminent.
I watched my master don his heavy overcoat before setting out. Of course I was to remain at Netherfield and was grateful for the warm comforts afforded me indoors. I wished for Sadie to be given the same consideration, but I was somewhat reassured that at least she would be able to escape the harshest cold and wind by seeking refuge in the stable.
I curled up in front of the fireplace in the kitchen, eager for a relaxing afternoon and hoping for a sampling of the repast that was being prepared for Miss Bennet. Miss Bingley frequently made an appearance, ensuring that everything was proceeding as planned. Whilst she did not seem particularly eager for her guest to arrive, she did take delight in making sure all the preparations were being proficiently carried out.
At the sound of the bell, I stretched my whole body in anticipation of getting up and joining the ladies. As I slowly walked out toward the front door, I heard Miss Bingley gasp loudly.
“My dear Miss Bennet! Whatever has happened? You are positively drenched from head to toe!”
Miss Bingley and her sister quickly attended to Miss Bennet as she explained how she had ridden over on a horse in the hopes of escaping the upcoming storm but it had begun to rain much earlier than she had anticipated. The sisters ordered dry clothes to be brought forth and had their ladies escort her upstairs to assist her in changing into them. When she left the room, the two sisters could not hold their tongue about the foolishness she had exhibited by riding from Longbourn to Netherfield on horseback instead of taking a carriage.
“Upon my word, Louisa! I can hardly believe it! Such reckless actions!”
“I quite agree, Caroline. What could she have been thinking?”
“It shows an ill-bred thoughtlessness, if you ask me, Sister.”
Mrs. Hurst and her sister both agreed that someone established in good society would never have exhibited such behaviour. It astounded me that they were upset more that her actions were not those of good society than they were concerned for her health and well being.
When Miss Bennet returned, she expressed her gratitude to the sisters and the three ladies proceeded to the breakfast parlour. I settled in a corner, out of their way, and rested my head on my paws. If they observed me, they may have thought I was sleeping, but in truth, I kept a keen ear tuned to their conversation.
Bingley’s sisters evidently viewed this appointment as an opportunity to gather intelligence on their brother’s favourite. They questioned Miss Bennet politely but with no little persistence on her family, her connections, and a variety of other carefully picked subjects. From their pointed glances at each other, I surmised that they were less than impressed by Miss Bennet’s responses.
A deep grumbling escaped me as I realized the growing contempt the two sisters felt for Miss Bennet. I could not find fault with her, however the two sisters seemed inclined to view her connections as inferior. How unmerited their disfavour!
At first, Miss Bennet acquitted herself reasonably well to their interrogation. However, I began to notice that her appearance was ashen and she did not have the usual serene countenance that I had seen upon her. As the rain continued to pour down in torrents throughout the rest of the afternoon, the sisters repeatedly made reference to the hope that the gentlemen would return directly or that the rain would let up. Unfortunately, their hopes were in vain; Miss Bennet continued exhibit an increasing distress, the men were absent the whole of the afternoon, and the rain continued without intermission.
The gentlemen finally returned late in the afternoon. When Bingley discovered Miss Bennet was still there and saw her condition, he insisted that it would be best that she remain. Even my master concurre
d with his friend that the conditions of the roads due to the downpour would make a return to Longbourn hazardous. I was relieved by this decision. A letter was dispatched to Longbourn to acquaint the Bennets with her condition.
By suppertime, Miss Bennet had grown quite ill, and after eating only a small amount, she excused herself and retired for the evening.
The next morning we awakened to the sad news that Miss Bennet had become even more ill over the course of the night and even though the morning dawned clear and fresh, Mr. Bingley deemed it prudent for her that she continue at Netherfield. Mr. Jones, a local physician, was called for.
Bingley’s sisters made Miss Bennet as comfortable as they could and gave reassurances to their brother that she was resting comfortably, however feverishly. They dismissed his heightened concern for her, insisting that it was merely a trifling cold.
Miss Bennet was ailing too much to join us, so we adjourned to the breakfast parlour to enjoy a late morning breakfast whilst she convalesced. I was settled comfortably at my master’s feet, keeping an eye open for any morsel that might inadvertently fall down for my seizing. Do not misunderstand my meaning; my master would never resort to spoiling me in such a way, but I did find that I could usually depend on snatching a crumb or two near Hurst’s place at the table.
The door was unexpectedly opened and at once I caught that familiar scent. With soaring anticipation, I watched from my vantage point on the floor as Bingley’s housekeeper entered. Behind her, I caught the sight of very soiled stockinged feet and the hem of a dress encased in mud.
Even before the housekeeper was able to announce her, I knew the moment my master took notice of her. I heard his coffee cup clatter clumsily into its saucer and then heard a sharp intake of breath. Now I would have thought that breathing was a natural function that one does not have to give much thought. I know I rarely think about having to take a breath. But as I listened intently those first few moments, I could not detect any indication of an exhale. I was quite sure a good amount of time passed before he finally let it out, a bit shaky, at that.