by Kara Louise
At length, Miss Elizabeth entered the drawing room with her sister.
“Why, Miss Bennet,” exclaimed Miss Bingley, clasping her hands together, “How good it is that you are feeling well enough to join us tonight! You are certainly looking much improved!”
Miss Bennet, in a soft voice, answered, “Thank you, Miss Bingley. I am feeling much better and I wish to thank you and your sister for your gracious hospitality.”
“My dear, it is the least we could do, is it not, Louisa?” She looked over at her sister, who nodded. “You may be assured that we would have done anything to help speed up your recovery!”
I was quite certain they would have, solely to remove the Bennet ladies from Netherfield!
I sat and listened to the ladies as they talked and Bingley’s sisters continued to be most gracious in expressing their pleasure at seeing her improved and attended to her every need. I knew that their anticipation of the Bennet sisters leaving soon made their pleasant conversation and attentiveness much more effortless.
When finally the men returned, they each expressed congratulations to Miss Bennet for her recuperation and their satisfaction to see her downstairs. My master then claimed a rather large chair and picked up the book he had brought to read. Mr. Bingley took the open space on the small sofa next to Miss Bennet and his attentions were forthwith attentive only to her. Mr. Hurst sat at the empty table, petitioning someone to join him in a game of cards, but when no one answered favourably, he removed to a sofa in the corner and, stretching out upon it, promptly fell fast asleep.
My master soon found himself the regrettable focus of Miss Bingley’s attentions. It appeared to me that Miss Bingley was no longer interested in Miss Bennet and her improvement. She placed herself in front of him and to my surprise, loudly proclaimed the book in her hand as the finest she had ever read. As this declaration was directed primarily at my master, I can only assume it was one upon which she had solicited his recommendation. Oddly, she did not seem to be as devoted to the book as her words would indicate, for her eyes appeared far more often employed at stealing coquettish glances at my master than in taking in the text.
For his part, my master directed all his attention to his book and seemed intent to devour the pages. I believe he did this as much to dissuade Miss Bingley from pursuing any further conversation as he did to avoid being distracted by Miss Elizabeth, who had seated herself in a nearby chair and had picked up her needlework again.
I watched as Miss Elizabeth occasionally glanced over to her sister and Mr. Bingley. It was quite apparent that Miss Bennet was grateful to finally be well enough to be out of her room; although she still appeared somewhat weak. She and Mr. Bingley sat close to the fire so she would not catch a chill and his face lit up as he conversed with her. Miss Elizabeth bore a well-pleased smile of her own each time she beheld the symptoms of peculiar regard Mr. Bingley was demonstrating.
In a room overflowing with so much bliss, I felt that my master and Miss Elizabeth could have no choice but to behave most amiably toward one another.
I looked over at my master who was bearing up admirably under Miss Bingley’s focused attention. But his rigid and focused demeanour eventually accomplished its purpose, for Miss Bingley most reluctantly turned her attention to the book she had brought into the drawing room. I surmised that her book must not have given her much pleasure, or perhaps she was not given to much understanding of it, for she was once more drawing to his side, asking him questions about his book, which was apparently the third volume of the set, hers being the second.
When all attempts at securing my master’s attention failed, she gave up entirely on her book and paced the room restlessly. I was becoming quite agitated myself as Miss Bingley made every attempt to garner my master’s favour whilst Miss Elizabeth did not seem inclined to engage in conversation at all. How I wished to be able to persuade them to converse rather than idle at their separate pursuits!
At first, things began to look more positive when Miss Bingley began addressing her brother about the inadvisability of his giving a ball. Warming to her subject, she insinuated how there were some present that would not enjoy such society, obviously trying to show her consideration for my master. Given how much Miss Elizabeth enjoyed dancing with me this afternoon, I was convinced that this was a subject of which much lively debate could occur, which would only increase her allure in his eyes. However, Bingley simply refused to consider her complaints and considered it a settled thing. A careless remark about my master preferring to go to bed instead of the ball if he chose to do so brought a glance up from my master’s book as well as Miss Elizabeth’s employment.
My master gave a slight scowl as a smirk danced upon Miss Elizabeth’s lips. The hoped-for tête-à-tête between them was thwarted by my master’s friend. I feared disappointment would be mine this evening.
Miss Bingley glanced at my master, who had resumed reading his book with his jaw clenched, and then returned to walking about the room. She held herself tall as she walked with graceful strides, slowing down ever so slightly as she passed close by my master. He resolutely adhered to his book and I watched as a sense of desperation passed over her. It was pathetic to me how much she coveted his attention. Clearly, she knew not the futility of her actions. Indeed, if she had been attentive at all to my master’s deportment, she would have noticed a slight sense of exasperation on his part!
In one final astonishing move, she walked over to Miss Elizabeth and asked her to join her in a turn about the room.
I believed Miss Elizabeth to be just as surprised as I. If she had only a small portion of the insight that Miss Bingley did into my master’s propensity, however, she would have understood that her invitation was a sure way to secure his attention. Not fully comprehending Miss Bingley’s motive, Miss Elizabeth immediately agreed.
As Miss Elizabeth drew alongside Miss Bingley out of politeness more so than pleasure, Miss Bingley finally succeeded in the real object of her civility. My master looked up to attend their movement. I believe I was as pleased as Miss Bingley, although not for the same reason.
The two of them walked together only briefly before Miss Bingley turned to my master and invited him to join them. He had no doubt been surprised when Miss Bingley invited Miss Elizabeth in a turn about the room. When she extended the invitation to include himself, he was more than startled. I hoped that he would at least oblige her. Even though it meant taking Miss Bingley’s arm, he could just as easily take Miss Elizabeth’s as well.
I watched him as a gleam unexpectedly appeared in his eye. I sat and observed this unfolding before me in awe as he began a most... how can I put this… uncharacteristic teasing -- dare I say flirtatious -- dialogue I had ever witnessed.
When he admitted to the ladies that he could observe their figures from where he was sitting much more readily than if he joined them, I do believe Miss Bingley was thrilled even though she chided him; Miss Elizabeth, for her part, looked slightly shocked and blushed! From my vantage point on the floor, I waited for Miss Elizabeth to notice the admiration in his eyes directed towards her.
Her manner, however, was devoid of any hint of admiration toward him. A look of censure and challenge overspread her face as she retorted with a determination to tease and laugh at him.
The two of them stared unflinchingly at each other whilst Miss Bingley proclaimed that he was impossible to tease, as he had such calmness of temper and presence of mind. Not to contradict our hostess, but I believe I was the only one with a presence of mind, as my master’s complete attention was on admiring Miss Elizabeth whilst she appeared solely to be calculating what my master’s faults might be.
I had the unnerving sense that this conversation would not proceed as I wished, either. It was true that a sense of spirit had suddenly taken hold of my master, but he was so far in Miss Elizabeth’s disapprobation, I held grave doubts that whatever transpired next would not raise him in her esteem.
I was startled out of my musings by
Miss Elizabeth declaring, “Mr. Darcy is not to be laughed at! That is an uncommon advantage, and uncommon I hope it will continue, for it would be a great loss to me to have many such acquaintance. I dearly love a laugh.”
She spoke with such a sparkle in her eyes and conviction in her words that a distressed whimper escaped me. Here I had hoped that they might find a way to converse amiably and bridge the distance between them, and instead, the chasm seemed to grow larger with every word.
I noticed the flicker of distress in my master’s eyes as he considered thoughtfully his response before answering.
He owned that Miss Bingley had given him more credit than she ought and Miss Elizabeth supposed that follies and nonsense and the like were precisely what he was without. Did I dare hope that they would carry on a conversation that shed a good light on my master?
“Perhaps that is not possible for anyone.” No, I thought. It seemed at the moment to be impossible. He continued, “But it has been the study of my life to avoid those weaknesses which often expose a strong understanding to ridicule.”
“Such as vanity and pride.” Miss Elizabeth answered back.
“Yes, vanity is a weakness indeed. But pride -- where there is a real superiority of mind, pride will always be under good regulation.”
Why must my master insist on being under such good regulation? Elizabeth must have likewise wondered as she turned and tilted her head down toward me, suppressing a smile from him. Miss Bingley took advantage of the silence to step in. She had been watching each of them intently at their verbal sparring, wondering, I am quite certain, why it was that a simple country lady appeared to have such a hold on my master.
“Your examination of Mr. Darcy is over, I presume,” said Miss Bingley; “and pray what is the result?”
Elizabeth turned her attention back to my master as she studied him. I waited expectantly for her answer.
“I am perfectly convinced by it that Mr. Darcy has no defect. He owns it himself without disguise.”
I believed that she was not being serious or, if she was, she was not paying my master a compliment.
“No,” my master remarked. “I have made no such pretension. I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding…”
As he continued, I comprehended something profound. My master was exposing certain deficiencies of his character to Miss Elizabeth in a most atypical and vulnerable manner. He had always tenaciously clung to his guarded mien as a way of protecting himself and his sister. He was not one who readily shared his thoughts and feelings to anyone, let alone his faults.
Yet here he was, openly declaring his defects to Miss Elizabeth! If only she realized what a compliment he was paying to her. If only she could see beyond his actual words and realize the import of his openness and honesty.
I caught the end of his declaration. “My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost is lost forever.”
“That is a failing indeed!” Miss Elizabeth cried. “Implacable resentment is a shade in a character. But you have chosen your fault well. I really cannot laugh at it. You are safe from me.”
“There is…” my master began, and I sensed that whilst he was struggling to defend himself to her, he was enjoying the banter. “…I believe, in every disposition a tendency to some particular evil -- a natural defect, which not even the best education can overcome.”
“And your defect is a propensity to hate everybody.”
“And yours,” he replied, with a smile, “is wilfully to misunderstand them.”
The silence seemed to hang heavy in the air, as did my head. Miss Elizabeth stood defiantly before my master, taking umbrage at his accusation. Miss Bingley wished for any sort of diversion to disrupt the solicitous attention my master was bestowing upon Miss Elizabeth. Whilst the essence of their words may have outwardly appeared insolent, she knew, as well as I, that my master savoured every moment of it.
She asked for the pianoforte to be opened directly and for her sister to play music.
For the remainder of the evening, my master had difficulty keeping a smile from creeping up the corners of his mouth. His eyes travelled repeatedly in admiration to Miss Elizabeth, who had returned to her stitchery. Since both her hands were employed with her work, I knew sitting at her side would be to no avail in receiving her attentions. I was only concerned, however, that whilst my master’s affections towards her appeared to be steadily growing, hers toward my master were waning.
As we retired to his chambers for the night, it was with a great sense of hope that I looked forward to the next day. With Miss Bennet much improved and able to join the others, Miss Elizabeth would no doubt grace us with her presence throughout the day. In due course, I was certain she would begin to see the good in my master as much as he had begun to take delight in her; provided that my scheme to show him in the best possible light was successful.
I pounced upon the bed, awaiting my master to join me, but instead, he settled in a hard backed chair. Leaning over, he rested his elbows on his knees and spreading out his fingers, he lowered his head so that they cradled his face. He began massaging his temples quite brusquely, as if he was attempting to expel demons that were residing within.
“How is it that a man of my upbringing and education, with connections to the elite of society, cannot resist the charms of a country lady?” His eyes glanced up and met mine. “Why is it, Reggie, that I find her so arresting?”
I gave him a sympathetic whine and he closed his eyes as he continued to rub his forehead.
“One would think,” he continued, “that being the rational man that I am, I could put aside these… these…” He shook his head as if it would assist him in finding the exact word he wanted.
He stood up with a fierce determination. “I have allowed this unseemly infatuation toward her to go unchecked far too long!” He looked down at me, shaking his head slowly. “I know you are displeased, Reggie, but I cannot allow my attentions toward her to mislead her. I cannot raise her hopes that I am singling her out.” He paced a few steps in one direction and then the other.
“From this moment on, until she departs this house, I shall avoid her like the plague. I shall refuse to engage her in a discussion or debate, even to discuss the weather with her!”
He threw the coverlet back and came into the bed with such force I thought I would bounce off. “By the time she is back at Longbourn...” he swallowed deeply, “I will have completely forgotten that she was here, what effect she had on me, and I… I shall own peace in my soul once again!”
*~*~*
The following morning Miss Bennet came down with Miss Elizabeth and joined us for breakfast. The discussion around the table that caused me alarm was that the Bennet ladies desired to return home. Miss Bennet felt herself well enough and Miss Elizabeth concurred. When Miss Elizabeth affirmed that she wished to write home to request the carriage be sent for them that very day, Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst readily obliged. A missive was sent off to Longbourn directly.
I sat in the corner of the room downcast, wishing for Miss Elizabeth to engage my master in any sort of discourse. He had not forgotten his resolve from the previous night and remained steadfastly silent throughout the meal and I had little hope left within me. With Miss Bennet joining our party for breakfast for the first time it was of little surprise that Miss Elizabeth was engaged in conversation with her and Mr. Bingley. My master listened, but seemed to have no inclination to join them.
I became increasingly unsettled as we awaited the response to Miss Elizabeth’s letter. I could only hope that the carriage would not suddenly appear and whisk the young ladies away without further opportunity for my master to reconsider his regard for her.
When a letter came back in reply, I was greatly relieved to hear that they could not possibly send the carriage before Tuesday. Miss Elizabeth was distressed and Bingley’s sisters directed insolent smiles towa
rds one another. My master sat silently, his eyes not straying from the page of the book in front of him.
I had an inkling of hope that they would remain a few more days, but it only lasted for a moment, as Miss Elizabeth was resolved to leave as soon as possible. She urged her sister to ask if Bingley’s carriage could be borrowed. It was settled then that they would leave on the morrow and I did not believe that to be enough time to accomplish what had become my sole ambition.
*~*~*
Miss Bennet and Miss Elizabeth adjourned to the drawing room with Mr. Bingley immediately following. He made every attempt to encourage them to stay longer to allow Miss Bennet to improve considerably more, but they would not. He declared he would spend every moment he had remaining by Miss Bennet’s side.
Directly after they left the room, Miss Bingley turned to my master. “So, Mr. Darcy, you shall have the benefit of her fine eyes but for one day more. Do you think you shall miss them when she leaves? Perhaps you have etched them in your memory? Are they truly so fine that they have erased every trace of her objectionable family?”
I let out a growl, which, unfortunately, only my master heard, giving me a censorious glance. For the past few days, her remarks had continued unabated and I knew it was discomfiting my master exceedingly. Today, however, it appeared as though her snide remarks simply slid off him.
I had grave doubts that the delight he took in his repartee with Miss Elizabeth the previous night lingered. The spark of liveliness that I had witnessed in his countenance had completely faded and the façade of being in strict command of his faculties had unfortunately returned.
We removed ourselves to the library and he settled in a small chair in the corner. I lay down at his feet, quite disconsolate. I believe we had come here because he was making every attempt to avoid her presence.