by Kara Louise
He shook his head dolefully. “No. She is someone to whom I was introduced in Hertfordshire. Our acquaintance was furthered when I was last in Kent.”
Suddenly making the connection between what he just told her and his despondency of late, a look of concern swept over her. “Oh, Brother, what happened?”
“She did not return my regard. I made her an offer, but she refused me.”
My master stood up and walked to the other side of the room and then abruptly turned around. “I do believe you would have enjoyed her company, Georgiana.” His measured tone could not hide the quaver in his voice.
The pain which held her brother in its grasp radiated from him, filling the room. She walked over to his side and slipped her hand in his arm. “I am so sorry, Fitzwilliam. What can be done?”
My master looked into the pleading eyes of his sister and I knew he wished to tell her about Miss Elizabeth. He sat quietly upon the settee relating to Georgiana all about Miss Elizabeth and why he found her to be so charming. He told of her deep love for her elder sister, so openly displayed as she cared for her while she was ill; that she was kind and good, with a disarming wit and vivacity that drew him in.
When he had finished, Georgiana wrapped her arms tightly about his arm and rested her head against his shoulder. “I do believe I would have enjoyed making her acquaintance. I am so sorry, Fitzwilliam, but do you not believe that in time she could come to love you?”
Although he had maintained his regulation when giving voice to all Miss Elizabeth’s qualities, here my master looked down. “I will not be seeing her again.” He buried his head into Georgiana’s hair and I suspected that his eyes had grown moist. Without lifting his head, he confessed to her, “She believed me to be proud.”
She pulled away sharply, looking at him with wonder. “Proud?” Georgiana vehemently shook her head. “Oh, no! Not you!”
“Oh, yes! She accused me of pride and arrogance.” He leaned forward, clasping his hands and resting his elbows on his knees. “It is only now, after months of reflection, that I can reasonably look back at my time in Netherfield and understand her accusation.”
“Why, you are the most admirable person of my acquaintance. Of what did she accuse you? Whatever could you have done?”
“It is what I did not do. I did not think it necessary for me to acquaint myself with the neighbourhood. I considered them beneath my notice. I even considered her own family beneath me.”
“Truly?”
“Yes, and yet to my surprise, despite her connections, despite her familial lack of standing in society, I found myself with such a strength of attachment towards her that I found it impossible to conquer.” Very softly, he added, “And I did not wish to conquer it.”
Both my master and Georgiana dropped their heads in silence. She obviously did not know what to say to comfort her brother and he was visibly shaken. Suddenly, Georgiana’s head lifted as she cried out, “Even with her lack of fortune and all of yours, she refused you?”
“Yes.”
Georgiana lowered her head. “I am so sorry, Fitzwilliam.”
My master clasped his hands together. “Come, Georgiana. Let us talk of other things. Shall we take some tea?”
“Yes! That sounds delightful!”
Georgiana took his arm tightly again, as if to bolster him up with all the strength she could bestow.
They took the flight of stairs arm in arm and when they reached the bottom, my master suddenly stopped.
“Georgiana, do you find me proud?”
Georgiana’s eyes widened and she pondered a moment before returning with an answer. “I do not believe that you possess the type of pride that boasts about your fortune and standing in society and seeks to promote your good qualities in others’ eyes. On the contrary, you prefer your wealth not be of general knowledge and you accept your standing in society but do not necessarily put it on display.”
My master tilted his head. “But that is not the pride of which I was accused.”
“No, I think not.” Georgiana took a few steps away from my master and then turned back to him.
“Perhaps she mistook your reserve in new situations for an arrogant disdain towards them.”
For some reason, my master started at these words. He abruptly walked away from her and stood in front of a window. Looking out, he answered, “I have done much deliberating about my character in these past months and I find myself wanting.” He took in a deep breath and let it out all at once. Running his fingers through his hair, his voice grew soft and pensive. “I have realized that I do look down on those I perceive of inferior stations, not necessarily by acts of cruelty or displaying my superiority, but in neglect. I choose to avoid them -- have as little to do with them as I deem prudent. My associations with them… well, she was correct.”
They exchanged little else on the subject, but I gathered that allowing himself to confide in Georgiana and receiving her words of comfort to him had put his thoughts in a different perspective and that lifted the heavy burden he bore.
*~*~*
Both my master and Georgiana determined they would return together to London. As his plan was to stay in town for a good length of time, he deemed it prudent that I remain at Pemberley. The stifling heat and choking air in town would not be healthy for me and I could not but agree. So, although regretful that I was eschewing my duties as companion, I stayed behind.
Once they departed, I spent the majority of my time with Sadie, and whilst I could not match her liveliness, I enjoyed her society immensely. She came of age early that summer and I surprised even myself to discover I could engage in rather pleasing duties as aptly as any dog half my age. The groundskeepers spoke among themselves that I gave them hope for their old age.
When I was lonely and missed my master and Georgiana, I would wander through the house, sleeping in my master’s chambers, enjoying the scent of him, or I would place myself in front of his portrait in the portrait gallery. I was very fond of that picture, as I had been painted faithfully at his side and he had a smile upon his face. As I gazed upon it, I wondered how long it had been since I had seen that smile. It was a smile of contentment and peace. But it had been painted before Ramsgate. Before Bingley and Miss Bennet at Netherfield. And before Miss Elizabeth at Rosings. I also wondered how long it would be before I would see that smile again.
For the most part, I usually began each morning feeling in relative good spirits, but as the day wore on, sleep beckoned me more and more insistently and I would once again slumber. There was very little that could awaken me no matter where I lay or what time of day it was.
Several weeks into my solitary schedule, something quite astonishing caused me to awaken with a start!
The day had begun as usual. There was talk among the staff that my master would be returning the following day and preparations for his return had begun. I made every attempt to keep out of everyone’s way as they scoured and scrubbed to make things spotless, while feeling a sense of anticipation of his return. Finally, I found myself a little corner of a room off the kitchen and settled down for my afternoon nap.
I remember barely apprehending the bell announcing visitors. In my younger years I would have made my way to the door if only to satisfy my curiosity and greet whoever had come. But this afternoon, I barely woke up at the sound.
Vague voices could be heard coming through the house. It was then that I began to stir, stretching out my legs and arching my back. Oh, how good it felt to stretch out those aching muscles!
But suddenly my nose was in the air. A scent permeated throughout the house that was very familiar! Still groggy, I turned my head around, sniffing deeply to ascertain its source. No, I knew it was not my master or Georgiana. It was not Fitzwilliam. But it was someone special… someone… At once, I knew! It was Miss Elizabeth!
I could not scramble to my feet fast enough! With my nose to the ground, I followed the scent trail before me. I scurried through the house, kicking up the carpets
as I rounded corners and frightening a servant or two along the way at my sudden burst of energy.
As I came upon them in the gallery, I espied Miss Elizabeth standing in front of a portrait -- our portrait -- staring intently at it. Mrs. Reynolds was giving a description of some of the paintings to a couple who were evidently accompanying Miss Elizabeth. I quickly scurried past them and came right up to my friend from Hertfordshire.
Mrs. Reynolds let out a cry of surprise, no doubt at my uncharacteristic exuberance. However, hers was not the reaction that left me quite bewildered. Miss Elizabeth looked most apprehensive upon seeing me.
In a quivering voice she said, “Reggie, I did not expect to find you here.” She nervously looked in one direction and then another.
“Oh, you know our Reggie, do you?” Mrs. Reynolds asked of her.
“Yes, I do. We became acquainted last year when Mr. Darcy was visiting Netherfield at Michelmas and then we were able to enjoy each other’s society this past spring in Kent.”
“As fine a dog as one will find. Just like his master; most polite and loyal.” She looked down and smiled at the attention I was bestowing on Miss Elizabeth. “And I can see that he esteems you, as well. I have not seen him this lively outside of the company of his master.”
“He… he is not with his master?” Miss Elizabeth asked.
“No, he does not fare well in town anymore. Our master could not say how long he might be in London on this trip, so Reggie remained back.”
At Mrs. Reynolds’ answer, a look of relief swept across Miss Elizabeth’s face. She reached over and patted my head. “It is good to see you, Reggie. I regret I was unable to bid you farewell at Kent.”
I watched her take another long look at the portrait of my master, with me sitting faithfully at his side. She looked down at me and smiled. “A very good likeness of you, Reggie.” Very softly, she added, “And of Mr. Darcy.”
The party continued to walk down the hall, but just before leaving it, I watched as Miss Elizabeth turned back. She went and stood once more in front of the picture and I saw a look in her eyes that was tinged with regret but also appeared to be seeing something for the first time.
I stayed with the party as they were shown a few more rooms. I could not ascertain the reason they were here, but I was quite certain they had not come anticipating my master’s presence. I felt all the anxiety of knowing that they would leave this place and the likelihood that he would never know they -- that she -- had come.
I did not want to leave Miss Elizabeth’s side, and Mrs. Reynolds commented several times on how I seemed to take a real liking to her. The faithful housekeeper escorted the party to the hall door, where the head gardener was waiting and suggested that if they wanted to see the grounds, he would be more than happy to give them a tour.
Unwilling to lose one moment in Miss Elizabeth’s company, I cheerfully trotted ahead of the party, wagging my tail in invitation for her to join me. This turn of events clearly had Mrs. Reynolds surprised and she did not fail to let it pass unmentioned. “Miss, you must be a special friend, indeed, for Reggie to wish to join you outdoors. The heat does not suit him well.”
I looked at Miss Elizabeth, who seemed a trifle embarrassed. But she did meet my glance and smiled wryly at me.
Once outside, Miss Elizabeth and the couple began to walk around. Not attending to the gardener’s responses to the couple’s queries, Miss Elizabeth walked off by herself across the lawn toward the stream. I enjoyed my amble across the grounds with her; it put me very much in mind of our walks in Hertfordshire and Kent. She seemed to have a great appreciation for the beauty before her and commented several times to me how perfectly situated was the house and how well groomed yet natural were the grounds.
I appreciated how perfectly suited Miss Elizabeth seemed to be here. A look of regret seemed to touch her features as she looked about her in admiration and I wondered if she felt as I did, that this was where she could have been mistress. But mixed with that regret, I also sensed a gentle sensation, and I truly believed her animosity toward my master had dissipated.
I followed her toward the path that would take us through the woods and to the rear of the house when suddenly the very familiar scent of my master began teasing my nose. Was it truly him? I turned my head in the direction of the house, knowing that if he had returned, he would come from behind the stables and head directly into the house from the courtyard, never coming this way at all.
I knew I had to do something!
With a few very excited barks, I set off in his direction, leaving Miss Elizabeth with quite an expression of bewilderment.
As I had discerned, my master had returned. How fortunate! When I found my master, he had just relinquished his horse to a stablehand and was walking toward the house. Miss Elizabeth and the rest of her party were already on the path down by the stream. From there, they would likely return to their carriage, which was on that side of the house as well. I needed to think quickly to get my master to follow me to Miss Elizabeth.
He turned at the sound of my bark, and when he saw me, crouched down and beckoned me to come to him. “Hello, Reggie. What are you doing out here?”
I barked several times and he laughed. “I am glad to see you, too! Come! I am tired, famished, and could definitely use a bath!”
As he proceeded towards the house, I took a few steps in the other direction and barked. He looked at me and waved me to follow him. I stood my ground and barked again.
“Go on, then, Reggie. I do not have time for your games. If you want to play, go seek Sadie, or someone else who is willing. It has been a long ride, I must see my steward, and I am in no mood for all these peculiar habits you have begun exhibiting in your old age!”
He set off walking towards the house again and I became fraught with apprehension that he would never see Miss Elizabeth. Without really thinking, I charged toward him, grabbing the fabric of his breeches with my teeth and tugging mercilessly.
He swooped down with his hand, slicing it right across my nose. I pulled away and let out a yip.
“Reggie! Where did you learn such manners?”
I determined it was most prudent to change my tactics and so I looked at him so pleadingly and whined so pathetically that I knew he would have to follow me. He planted his hands upon his hips and stared at me in clear exasperation.
I turned in the direction of Miss Elizabeth and then stopped and looked back, giving him an encouraging bark.
“So be it! I shall follow you, Reggie, but it had better be important!”
Chapter 21
As you might imagine, once I had secured my master’s consent to follow me, I was eager to return to Miss Elizabeth. Though my master made a valiant attempt to match my pace, I found I had to force myself to stop and wait several times for him to draw nearer. As he lumbered down the lane breathing heavily, he occasionally paused and glared at me. I am quite certain he was either questioning my reasoning for leading him as I was or his good sense in following; but I barked emphatically, urging him on.
The most direct route to Miss Elizabeth took us to the road that came from the stables. From there, we approached the path upon which she had been walking, and when we came to a clearing, I stopped and looked at my master expectantly. There before us was Miss Elizabeth; her hands clasped in front of her as she looked down at the grounds about her.
Though my master at once saw her walking along the path, it was apparent he did not recognize her.
“Is this what I followed you all this way to see, Reggie? Visitors?” He let out a disgusted groan. “I am in no condition to receive anyone! I am covered in several layers of dirt, I am hungry, and I might add, not a little exhausted! You know I prefer to leave the showing of the house and grounds to...”
His voice trailed off as Miss Elizabeth looked up. “It cannot be!” He came to an abrupt halt and I noticed his face overtaken by a deep colouring.
Miss Elizabeth, upon glancing up at us, beheld my master, d
rew back, and instantly dropped her eyes back toward the ground. Her face paled and then blushed much like my master had and she abruptly turned away. Awkwardness exuded from both of them and for a moment I knew not whether I had done a prudent thing. Would either acknowledge the other?
My master recovered more quickly from his surprise and walked toward her, despite his discomposure. “Miss Bennet.” He faltered somewhat as he bowed. “It… it is indeed a pleasure to see you again.”
She stammered out a weak, “Thank you, Sir.”
There followed a rather long pause and I looked from one to the other. Their discomfiture in each other’s presence was so great that even I began to feel it myself. Sensing however, that Miss Elizabeth might now be more receptive to my master, I began to nudge him in the hopes that he might further the conversation.
My master finally seemed to recall how to display the basic civilities and asked, “May I.... may I inquire as to your health and the health of your family, Miss Bennet?” I detected the slightest quaver in his voice.
“They are all well, thank you.” Miss Elizabeth looked everywhere but at him as she answered.
“Good. I am glad to hear it.” He looked about him, as if beseeching the grounds for some sort of inspiration.
“How long has it been since you have been at Longbourn?” he finally asked.
“Several weeks, Sir.”
I groaned in despair during another long pause, wondering why it was proving so difficult for an intelligent human to express the things of his heart! They had engaged in such lively discourse at Netherfield -- why could they not now?
“And you have been travelling about Derbyshire?”
“Yes, Sir.” Her answers were uttered hastily and with marked distress.
“Where are you staying?”
“At the Inn at Lambton.”
My master nodded his head and he shifted from one foot to another as I suspected he was struggling to find some other topic. Clearly his nervousness got the better of him as he inquired again, “Have you been long away from Longbourn?”