by Bold, Diana
“I will,” Christian promised, feeling so torn. It would destroy this little man if he put his trust in him and then he never returned.
He stood and met Theo’s troubled gaze, then turned and left the room.
AN HOUR LATER, CHRISTIAN stood at the front of the ancient Avebury Chapel with the reverend as the appointed time came and went. She was ten minutes late, and in his heart, Christian knew that the charade was over. Perhaps his uncle had been right. He should leave, ride hard back to Trowbridge Manor, and hope he made it before the constables arrived.
The reverend gave him a pitying glance. “Perhaps she’s just taking extra time with her appearance,” the old man said kindly.
“Perhaps,” he agreed, though he knew Rebecca was not the sort to leave him standing at the altar for the sake of adding a few extra curls to her hair.
A few more minutes ticked by, and Christian stared out the arched windows at the spot where he and Rebecca had picnicked. That day still shone so brightly in his mind, and he knew that was the day he’d started to fall in love with her.
He had just come to terms with the fact that she was not coming and made his mind up to leave, when he heard the sound of a carriage arriving in front of the church.
The reverend grinned at him. “There we are, my lord. Told you everything would be all right. Brides do have a habit of arriving late.”
Christian stared toward the door, his heart thundering in his chest, unsure exactly what was waiting for him on the other side. Was it Rebecca, here to marry him, or the constables, here to arrest him? He glanced toward the back of the church, wondering if there was another way out. Before he could make a move, the Earl of Marlborough entered the building, looking very put out.
“Sorry we’re late,” he told Christian grudgingly. “The girl seems to be having a bit of cold feet. I told her she must come, but she insists upon having a word with you in the carriage before she comes in.”
Sabrina entered the church behind her uncle, looking pale and uncertain, but she tried to give Christian a bolstering smile. “She’ll be all right. She just has a few things she wants to say to you.”
Christian cleared his throat, knowing that he must go and speak to her but terrified of what she was going to say. At least she’d come, though. That had to mean something, didn’t it? If there was no chance he could change her mind, she’d have stayed home.
“I’ll go speak to her,” he said, ducking his head and starting down the aisle, unable to meet the earl’s gaze. The fact that her father was acting annoyed and embarrassed meant that she’d not yet told him of her suspicions, though he wondered if Rebecca had shared her doubts with her cousin.
He stepped out into the cold but sunny day and took a few deep breaths, watching his breath plume upward, then strode to the waiting carriage. He nodded at the coachman, who still sat on the box, then opened the door and climbed inside.
Rebecca sat on the forward-facing seat, dressed in a breathtaking white satin gown, her gorgeous red hair piled in intricate coils and curls, her face flushed with emotion. She was heartbreakingly beautiful and looked every inch a bride. He sank into the seat opposite her, holding her gaze. “You look lovely,” he murmured, not knowing what else to say.
She twisted her gloved hands nervously. “I barely slept at all last night. I had to see you.”
He reached out and covered her hands with his own, forcing himself to remain calm. “I didn’t sleep well either. I fear that I did the wrong thing by keeping Sammy.” Until he said the words, he hadn’t even realized they were true. “What do I know about being a father? I never had...” He stopped himself, once again realizing he’d been about to speak to her as himself and not Andrew. “I mean, of course, I had a father... But we didn’t get along, and...”
“Unbelievable!” She jerked her hands away and glared at him. “How far are you prepared to take this? How long do you expect me to play along?”
He held her gaze for a long moment, then looked away. “How long have you known?”
“I don’t even know exactly what it is that I know!” she cried, letting her confusion and anguish show. “But from the moment I saw you, I knew something wasn’t right! You are better looking than he ever was. You’re nicer. You treat me as though my thoughts and opinions matter!”
“Your thoughts and opinions do matter!” he told her, imploring her with his eyes to believe him.
“Then don’t expect me to make a decision that affects my entire life without telling me everything I need to know!”
CHEST HEAVING, REBECCA stared Andrew down, feeling as though they were going in circles. She’d never felt so confused, so foolish and out of her element. She’d thought long and hard about not coming at all, but she’d known her father would never accept that. He’d been angry enough when she’d told him she needed to speak with Andrew before the ceremony. He’d chided and berated her during the entire ride over, fuming with disgust and embarrassment.
She forced herself to take a few calming breaths, then shook her head. “You can’t expect me to marry you without knowing who it is that I’m marrying.”
He scrubbed his face with his hands, in that telling gesture she’d come to know so well. “You’re right. Of course, you’re right. But there is more at stake here than just me and you. I never knew... how much work this would involve. How much responsibility.”
She sighed. “Let’s start with the most pressing question. Where is Andrew?”
“He’s gone,” he admitted after a long pause. “He died in battle. I watched him fall.”
She blinked. Though she’d suspected as much, it was still shocking to hear. She’d been right about him. She’d been right to doubt him all along. She was also a bit surprised at the sadness in his voice when he spoke of the man whose identity he’d stolen. “Who was he to you?” she asked softly.
“He was my half-brother. I am Jonathan Bradford’s bastard.” He sighed, looking away. “My mother was a sixteen-year-old maid in his house when he raped and impregnated her.”
She reached over and squeezed his hand, unable to help herself. This man. How could she still care so much for him when he’d just admitted he was a fraud? “I’m so sorry.”
“He turned her out when she began to show. For the sin of being pregnant with his own child.” He shook his head. “She ended up in London, and during my childhood, she did whatever she could to survive, to keep us fed with a roof over our head. But when I was fourteen, she started to cough a lot... She worked in a textile factory, and all the cotton bits in the air had gotten into her lungs. Within six months, she was dead. I was sent to the workhouse, and then when I was old enough, I joined the army.”
“Where you met Andrew,” she guessed quietly.
He nodded. “He never actually deigned to speak to me, of course. But everyone commented upon it. How much we looked like each other. He was an officer, and I was a mere corporal. We rarely crossed paths, and at first, I wasn’t certain he knew who I was, but when we did see each other, he’d always give me this look... as though I was to blame for what our father had done.”
“He wasn’t a nice man,” she whispered. “That was your biggest mistake. You never could have been as cruel and shallow as he was.”
“Nor would I want to be.” He looked out the carriage window at the church, obviously uncomfortable with the entire conversation. “I didn’t plan any of this. But when I saw him fall... I was injured also, shot in the leg, a saber wound to my shoulder. I was standing over him, feeling very strange to see him lying there. It was like seeing my own death. I realized that if I changed jackets with him, pretended to be him, I could get better treatment for my wounds.”
“And did you?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yes, it is amazing how differently you’re treated when they think you’re someone important. I liked it. And then I realized that since Andrew was gone, I could sell his commission. The money would give me a shot at a better life.”
“Then you de
cided you could be the viscount,” she guessed slowly. “All you had to do was keep up the charade.”
“It was Theo, the butler, who convinced me that I should try, that I could do a better job than Andrew ever had. He said I had just as much right to it as anyone else did. He’s my uncle, you see. And he’d always been angry about what my father had done to my mother.”
She bit her lip. “You are a better viscount than Andrew ever could have been.”
He leaned forward and cupped her chin with his hand, urging her to look at him. “We didn’t know about you, Rebecca. If we had, I never would have attempted this. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just didn’t see the point in letting someone else inherit, not when I was my father’s oldest son.”
“That first night you came to dinner... you had no idea who I was,” she realized.
He released her, leaning back in his seat. “No. Theo thought you were Andrew’s mistress and that it would raise eyebrows if I were to refuse to come.”
She laughed, seeing the humor in that despite everything. “You must have been surprised to find out that we were to be married.”
“You have no idea.” He managed the shadow of a smile. “I was convinced that you’d seen through me immediately. When I left that night, I expected the constable to arrive at any moment.”
“I wasn’t sure what to think,” she admitted. “You seemed so different. But I immediately found you attractive, when I’d never felt that way about Andrew. And I found myself actually liking you, when I’d never cared for him at all. It was all so very confusing.”
“It wasn’t until I met you, until I realized that there were more lives at stake than just my own and Theo’s, that I started to realize what a grave mistake I’d made. I hope you know that it was never about the money for me, not really. I just wanted some security, a home of my own. And when I reunited with Theo, it was so nice to have someone who cared about me again.”
She stared off into the distance, her mind racing. Here it was. All out in the open. And now she had to decide what to do about it. Could she become the wife of a man who’d just admitted that he was the bastard son of a maid?
The answer was disturbingly clear. She’d been born an aristocrat, had always been told that her birthright made her better than most, but when she looked at this man, how could she doubt that he was a better man than Andrew had ever been? And he was not a stranger come to steal Andrew’s title; he had the same blood, could have easily been the heir himself, if things had happened a little differently.
“I’m sorry,” he said, moving as though to exit the carriage. “I never should have dragged you into this. You deserve so much better than either of my father’s sons. Don’t worry. I’ll find a way to make this right, to walk away without destroying your reputation. I’ll tell your father you’re angry about Sammy, that you don’t want to marry me since I’ve decided to raise him.”
It took a moment for his words to register, but when they did, she reached out and grabbed his arm. “Wait!” she cried. “What do you mean?”
He stared down at her, his eyes filled with an emotion she couldn’t name. “I’m leaving. Isn’t that what you want? Isn’t that why you came here today? To learn the truth and find a reason to call the whole thing off?”
She shook her head, tears welling in her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m here! I don’t know what I want! I just couldn’t bear to not know the truth any longer. Everything about you has been confusing, but I have felt alive these past few weeks! Alive in a way I’ve never felt before.”
“I feel it, too,” he muttered, relaxing back into his seat and staring at her with his heart in his eyes. “No one has ever looked at me the way that you do. As though you really see me.”
“I do see you,” she whispered. “No matter what your name is.” She frowned. “What is your name?”
He sighed. “I don’t know if it’s wise to tell you. You can’t use it, you know. Not even in private.”
The magnitude of that took her breath away. He was right. If they went through with this, she’d have to guard his true identity fiercely. “I’d still like to know it,” she said softly.
“It’s Christian,” he whispered. “Christian Barnes.”
She turned it over in her mind for a moment, liking the sound of it, thinking it suited him well. “Christian,” she breathed. “You’re the one that I want. You’re the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
“I don’t understand it.” He shook his head, looking as though he didn’t believe her. “I’m not good enough for you, Rebecca. Don’t you see that?”
“I see a man who cares about me, about his uncle, about the rest of the people living and working at Trowbridge Manor. You aren’t doing this for your own selfish gain. If all you wanted was the money, you could have stripped the house bare, sold everything, and disappeared.”
He sighed, scrubbing his hand through his hair. “I’ve thought about it. I’m not so sure that I shouldn’t. I think I’ve solved the issue of Miranda for now, but what if there is someone else out there who knew Andrew well enough to denounce me? I don’t want to bring you or Theo down with me.”
“What if I don’t care? What if I am willing to take that chance?” Now that he’d been honest with her, now that he’d shared his reasons, she knew she’d forever be on his side. She’d fight for him if she had to. “With me at your side, who is going to doubt us? Everyone who matters knows that we’ve known each other since we were children. If anyone tries to claim otherwise, it will be our word against theirs, and as a viscount and viscountess, our word counts for something. And surely, you know that my father could never allow anyone to think he’d allowed his daughter to marry an imposter. He’d destroy anyone who dared breathe a word against us.”
He pulled her across the aisle, wrapping his arms around her and crushing her tightly to his chest. He buried his face in her hair, his big lean body trembling against her. “Why?” he breathed. “Why would you want to throw in with me?”
She held him just as tightly. “Isn’t it obvious? I love you. I love you so much.”
He pulled back, staring down at her with shock and perhaps even a bit of dismay. “Truly?”
She nodded, letting her tears flow. “I think I’ve loved you from the first day I saw you. I knew there was something different. I knew you’d returned to me a better man than you’d left. I’d lived in fear of what the future held, what my marriage would be like, but then there you were, the complete antithesis of everything I’d expected. You brought such hope into my life, when before, there had been none.”
He smiled a little. “Perhaps you looked with your heart.”
She thought of Madame Zeta’s prophetic words, and a chill went down her spine. How had the woman foretold this all so clearly? Was it fate that had brought them together? She thought it must be, because they were so well suited. If he hadn’t decided to take Andrew’s identity, she’d have been free to find someone else, but she doubted there was another man in the world she could have loved as well.
“Perhaps I did.” Brushing the tears away with the back of her hand, she tried to gather her wits and thoughts. “So, what do we do now?”
He glanced pensively at the church and then back at her. “After all you’ve learned today, are you sure you still want to marry me? They’re all waiting.”
She bit her lip. She’d just admitted her love for him, but he’d not yet reciprocated, and she wondered if his feelings for her were as strong as hers for him. Did he love her, or was she just a means to an end for him?
Something of her thoughts must have shown in her eyes, because he suddenly cupped her chin and stared deeply into her eyes. “If you say yes, you’ll make me the happiest man in the world. I know that you’re taking a risk, but I’m selfish enough to allow you to do so. Because I love you, Rebecca. I love you so much and it would kill me to walk away from you now.”
This was it. The choice she made in this moment could never be taken b
ack. Perhaps it was wrong to allow him to continue as Andrew, depriving some distant cousin of all that should have been his. However, she couldn’t help but feel that the rules were all wrong. This man deserved the title. He’d be a far better steward of his family’s legacy than Andrew ever would have been
She didn’t realize how long she’d been thinking until Andrew... Christian... no, Andrew... she must think of him as Andrew... finally released her and eased back, his face shuttered and distant.
“It’s all right,” he said softly. “I understand, and I don’t blame you. Please know that I only want what is best for you, and I love you enough to walk away without a fuss if that is what you—”
She cut his words off with a kiss, throwing herself against him in a passionate embrace, holding him tight in an effort to put all his broken pieces back together. He tensed, obviously stunned by her actions, but then he hugged her back, falling deeply into her kiss.
When she finally drew back, they were both rattled and breathless. “Don’t ever lie to me again,” she whispered. “Can you promise me that?”
He nodded. “I swear it. If you give me another chance, you won’t regret it.”
“Then I’ll marry you,” she told him. “I’ve never wanted anything more.”
CHRISTIAN HELPED REBECCA out of the carriage, still a bit shocked by her faith in him. He’d never thought that telling her the whole truth was even an option, but as usual, she’d surprised him. The thought of having her by his side, no matter what, soothed some of the turmoil within him about remaining Viscount Trowbridge.
For too long, he’d been all alone in the world, but now he was a nephew, a father, and soon to be a husband. The responsibility was heavy, but the love he’d found was worth it.
Once she was on the ground, she placed her hand in his, and he led her into the church, fighting a smile at the look of relief on her father’s face. If the old man knew the truth, he’d be a little less enthusiastic, but either way, the bastard son of a housemaid was about to marry an earl’s daughter.