by Avery Flynn
And when he sank into her, slowly inch by inch until he filled her completely, he knew that for all of this being a way to make her remember him that he’d be the one who’d never forget. Fuck she felt so good, so tight and hot around him and he gave into the moment. Forgetting everything before and after as he thrust into her again and again, reaching down between them to roll his thumb over her straining clit. It didn’t take long to put him on the edge as she rose up to meet his every stroke.
“Aubrey I—”
He had no idea what he would have said after that because her orgasm hit hard, his name on her lips as she tightened around his dick and he came with her.
Catching his breath as he held her in his arms still riding high, it wasn’t so much an epiphany as an acceptance that struck him. Whatever had happened, whatever had gone down, they had to figure this out. She’d fucked up. He’d fucked up. But together, they could make it right.
“Aubrey,” he said, rolling over on his side so they could talk face to face.
Shit.
Her eyes were closed and her breathing steady. Okay, it could wait. He’d get cleaned up, she’d get some sleep, and then they’d talk, straighten the whole thing out. He got up and went to the bathroom to do just that, but when he walked back out, Aubrey was gone.
The walk to the U.S. Embassy from the hotel was a short one but even if it had been across the island, Aubrey didn’t think it would be long enough for her to pull herself together.
Everything hurt and it was her own fault. She’d stopped ugly crying in the hotel lobby bathroom so that was a bonus, but she doubted it made much difference considering the looks people were sending her way as she walked the couple of blocks to the embassy. She’d known from the beginning that the truth would come out but she’d let herself pretend it would all work out. She should know better. That only happened in the movies. Well The Admiral wasn’t coming in to save the day in this one. By the time she got to the embassy, the entrance gate was shut and the sign on the front of the guard post said they wouldn’t open again until the next morning.
It was all she could do not to crumble up into a ball right there on the sidewalk and cry. Fisting her hands, she sucked in a breath and tried to think. Falling apart now wouldn’t help. She’d do that later when she got back to Salvation and the boring life in the bakery that was sounding better and better with each broken heartbeat.
An older man in a suit walking by paused in front of her. “Miss your cruise?” he asked, his American accent unmistakable.
“Yeah.” She sucked in a deep breath, willing herself not to give in to the tears she’d been fighting back since she walked out of Carter’s hotel room. “My friends are on board, I need to let them know I’m okay.”
He cocked his head to the side, “And are you okay?”
Aubrey let out the sigh she’d been holding in so long that it ended with something that sounded a little too much like a whimper to her ears. “Not even close.”
“You know what, why don’t you come inside.” He nodded at the guard who opened the gate for them. “We’ll get you all straightened out with a temporary passport and on the next flight home.”
“I thought it was closed for the night.”
“Well,” he said walking through the gate. “Every once in a while we observe Pacific Standard Time when the occasion calls for it, so we’ve got a few hours before it’s five. Plus, being the ambassador has its privileges. Let’s go get you taken care of and make sure your friends know you’re okay.”
She wouldn’t be that, not for a good long time, but getting home and eating pecan pie at The Kitchen Sink Diner would help. She had to believe that because it was pretty much the only thing making it possible for her to get one foot in front of the other and put more distance between her and the man she’d fallen for who never wanted to see her again. And who could blame him? She’d fucked it all up from the beginning.
Eleven
Byron would be having a fit if he ever found out that Carter had voluntarily opted for coach to get the first flight out of Nassau and back to New York after a night spent walking around Nassau looking for Aubrey. It wasn’t until he got to the embassy this morning for a temporary passport that he found out she’d already been there and left on the final flight out last night.
And that was that. He’d overreacted like an asshole and fucked it up. He should have listened to her at the very least. Instead he’d acted like a total douchebag and she’d walked out, which he realized this morning he rightly deserved.
Even though it wasn’t enough, bypassing the wine drinkers in first class to fold himself into a smaller seat with pretty much negative legroom seemed at least some punishment. He was a fucking idiot.
He checked his ticket for the third time to confirm his row and seat as he did the slow shuffle down the aisle behind people trying to fit what should clearly be a checked bag into the overhead bin. One guy was telling with the airline attendant that there had to be something wrong with the bin on this plane because it had fit on the plane he’d taken down to Nassau. Judging by the what-kind-of-bullshit-are-you-slinging look on the woman’s face, she wasn’t buying it. Finally, the guy gave up and everyone snuck into whatever open space there was while he took the walk of shame back to the boarding area with his too-big bag.
Carter’s seat was two rows further down. A woman and a skinny kid were already sitting down. The woman had her hair pulled back into a braid and was wearing the sunburn of a Michigan tourist who’d vacationed anywhere near the equator. The kid, who looked all of eight, was wearing one of those antiviral face masks and had dark circles under his eyes. The kid was by the window. The woman was on the aisle.
He hesitated, not sure what the protocol was in this situation.
“Shadron, time to get in your seat,” the woman said, giving Carter a small apologetic smile. “This gentleman here has the window.”
The boy let out a soft sigh without looking away from the window but started to get up.
“It’s alright, I can take the middle seat. No big deal.” Self-flagellation for the win? That’s right.
“That’s sweet of you, but it’s okay,” the woman said.
She got up and her son moved to the middle seat. Carter sat down by the window and tucked his arms as close to his sides as possible and settled back for a long ass flight back to New York. With any luck, he’d sleep through the whole damn thing and wouldn’t dream about Aubrey even once.
It wasn’t until they’d been airborne for a few minutes before he felt a little nub of a finger poking him in the arm. He cracked an eye open and looked at the kid on his left. His many years of media training was the only thing keeping him from growling—right up until the kid shoved a folded piece of paper at him and gave him one of those weird, awkward kid winks that was more of a blink.
Hello, Admiral. My name is Shadron. I’m eight. Are you undercover?
Fuck. So much for his Bahama Living cap pulled down low and the days’ worth of beard growth. He hadn’t even fooled a little kid. He didn’t have it in him to lie to a kid who was obviously sick. The best he could hope for was to keep his real identity between him and Shadron. He lowered his tray table, snagged the pencil from the boy, and jotted down a quick response.
I’m not at liberty to say.
The boy read the note, nodded, and started writing his response on the bottom. He adjusted the mask covering his mouth scrawled off a few words before handing it over.
Understood. You are my favorite superhero.
How often had Carter heard that from kids and adults during the past ten years of playing The Admiral? Too many to count. However, he heard the studio’s PR person’s voice telling him that while he may have heard it all before that it was the first time that fan had gotten to say it to him and that was what was important. He borrowed the pencil again and handed over his reply.
Thank you. It’s a huge honor to meet you.
The boy grinned big enough that it was noticeable
even with his mask and started to write another note. That’s when Carter felt like he was being watched, he looked up and locked eyes with Shadron’s mom who was staring at him with the kind of do-not-fuck-with-my-child glare that only a mom could give. Okay, maybe passing notes with a little kid without his mom’s go-ahead didn’t have the best optics. Before he could explain though, the kid slid over the note that now was covered with his uneven handwriting almost all the way down to the bottom. Carter held it up, angling it so the boy’s mom could read it too.
Sir, I would like to ask a few questions. 1. Is Bolt really your best friend? 2. How long have you had your dog, Tug? 3. Are you worried about facing down Iceburg? He’s the most powerful super villain on the planet.
Carter glanced over at the woman and raised an eyebrow in question. If she wanted to shut the conversation down, he would find a way to make that happen. However, as soon as she started reading the note, her suspicion turned to something softer and the tip of her nose got red as she pulled a Kleenex out of her pocket and mouthed, “Thank you.”
Taking that for a go ahead, Carter started answering the kid’s questions. And so it went for the next half hour, the writing back and forth until the kid’s eyelids must have gotten too heavy to hold open any longer and he fell asleep, his dark eyelashes so long they brushed the top of his face mask.
“Thank you,” Shadron’s mom said with a sniffle. “I mean you probably were looking forward to your nap rather than pretending to be some Hollywood super hero.”
“All in a day’s work.” Just usually against a green screen.
The woman let out a sigh. “He’s gonna be telling the nurses this story for days and I hope you don’t mind but I just don’t have the heart to explain that you aren’t the real Carter Hayes.”
He schooled his expression before he ruined his cover. “What gave it away?”
She waved her hands at their tight quarters. “Hello, coach section.” Letting out a quiet chuckle that sounded rusty from disuse, she shook her head. “Those movies mean the world to him. Watching them is usually how he deals with all the time in the hospital, makes him feel as if he can conquer the cancer just like The Admiral beats all those super villains.” Her chin trembled and she crumpled the tissue in her hand, visibly swallowing. “And he will. You take my word for it, he will.” Exhaling a quick breath, she gave him a curt nod. “Now you’ve been kept from your nap long enough. I won’t bother you anymore, I just had to say thank you.”
Carter closed his eyes, but sleep didn’t come. His brain was spinning out too much. For all the effort he’d put into shaking off The Admiral’s persona because of how the role had limited what parts casting directors thought he’d work for, he’d never thought about what the character had meant to the people who paid to sit in the dark and watch The Admiral up on the big screen. How many other Shadrons were out there finding even a little bit of inspiration in a hero who guaranteed happy endings? And what kind of idiot was he for never seeing that?
You’re a real asshole, Hayes.
Maybe there was a way to do both, to be The Admiral and to stretch his professional muscles. It didn’t only have to be one or the other. He could make both happen. No one was just one thing.
Now, where did you hear that?
He gritted his teeth and forced himself off that path. No. He wouldn’t think about her. Aubrey was gone and it was his fault. Best just to forget about her and finally get some shuteye before they landed in New York.
Two days after getting home in the dead of night after snagging the last seat on the last flight away from the last man she should have fallen for, Aubrey was dragging ass. Not even the strong-enough-to-put-hair-on-a-person’s-chest coffee at the bakery had perked her up. There was only one thing in all of Salvation that could help at that moment—Ruby Sue’s pecan pie.
Feet filled with lead, she flipped the bakery sign to Closed and crossed the street to The Kitchen Sink Diner. Ruby Sue sat in her usual spot on a tall stool behind the cash register. Petite, sharp-eyed, and with a voice made raw from too many cigarettes for too long, Ruby Sue knew everything about everyone in Salvation thanks to her nosy nature and the fact that her pecan pie was worth giving up secrets for.
Ruby Sue took one look at Aubrey and got down off her stool and went to the pie case. “You look like you’ve been trampled by a herd of wild goats drunk on the Sweet’s family moonshine.”
“If only I felt as good as I looked.” Aubrey sat down at one of the empty stools at the counter, thankful it was after the lunch rush and before the early bird dinner special so they were alone except for the cook/dishwasher, Otis, who was working on the crossword puzzle in the corner booth.
Ruby Sue took out a plate of pecan pie, one with extra goo spilling out from the crust, and sat it in front of Aubrey. Then, she took out two forks and handed one over. “That sounds like the beginning of a story—one with a man. Hopefully, he has a butt I could bounce a quarter off of, if so please describe it in detail.”
“Ruby Sue,” she gasped, a fork full of pecan goodness stalled halfway to her mouth.
“What?” The older woman shrugged her bony shoulders. “I’m old, not missing the ability to admire a good butt.”
“He has a world-class butt,” she said before stuffing the pie in her mouth before she could say more.
There were, after all, entire Instagram sites devoted to his ass. Since she’d landed, she’d been avoiding social media. It just wasn’t the same anymore. Her thirst site, the ones she followed, each one would be a smack-in-the-face reminder of the possibility of something amazing that she’d messed up.
“Excellent.” Ruby Sue took a bite. “Now tell me that he has a brain and ambition too.”
“He does.”
“Wonderful. So what has you moping around looking like you ate your own donuts.” Ruby Sue dropped her volume to a whisper. “No offense, but we all heard about your attempt to bake when you first moved back from college.”
That had been a disaster. The volunteer firefighters had been nice about it though. Luckily no one had been hurt and the worst damage was a charbroiled tray of bear claws. This time it was much worse.
“I messed it all up.” She set her fork down, the idea of taking another bite making her stomach roil. “I lied to him, well, at least by omission.”
“Did you apologize?”
Aubrey nodded, tears already pooling in her eyes as the image of Carter’s face when he confronted her in the hotel room, his hurt as plain as the pecans on top of Ruby Sue’s pie.
The older woman took another bite from their shared slice, chewing it slowly as she turned her assessing gaze on Aubrey. “Did you make amends?”
“I can’t.” She sank back against the chair, wishing she could just melt into it. “It’s too big.”
“The most important things always are.” Ruby Sue finished off the pie, dumped the crumbs from the plate into the garbage, and then added the dish to the red tub waiting for Otis after he finished his puzzle. “Life doesn’t just give you what you want. You have to fight for it.”
“Yeah, but you also have to know when to accept reality.” Like there was any actual hope of her ending up with a movie star. Even if she hadn’t messed everything up by posting about how Carter was on the cruise, she was a wannabe writer working at her gran’s bakery in a small town. It would have never worked out and so maybe it was for the best that he’d found out. Still, she couldn’t even think his name without having to purse her lips together to keep from crying. “That’s what I did when I came back here,” she continued, her voice trembling. “I shelved my book proposal, set my alarm for o’dark thirty, and did what needed to be done.”
Ruby Sue huffed at her. “At first maybe, but then you got comfortable and a bit lazy.” She pointed a liver-spotted finger at Aubrey. “I’ve known you since you were a Daisy Scout and you walked in here during the lunch rush and sold me ten boxes of overpriced cookies despite the fact that I was trying to run the cash register, s
eat people, and eavesdrop on the latest town gossip. Growing up, there wasn’t a single day when you sat back and just accepted things. You have too much spark to you to give that up now. It’s still there, you just have to find it.”
That’s what Aubrey had thought she’d done on the cruise. She’d thought it was being with her friends and Carter, but that wasn’t it. The cruise had forced her to take herself out of the rut she’d fallen into. The new perspective the cruise had given her was like having electricity running through her veins like she was in college again. She’d been inspired. She’d been happy. She’d been open enough to fall for Carter despite knowing in the long term there was no way to make it work.
Ruby Sue made an mmm-hmmm noise as she shot Aubrey an I-told-you-so-look that sent her gray eyebrows into the stratosphere. “I can practically see the lightbulb turning on above your head.”
That’s pretty much what it felt like, as if someone had flipped a switch. She didn’t want to go back to feeling like she was just going through life by the motions again. She couldn’t fix things with Carter but that didn’t mean she couldn’t keep that cruise perspective when it came to the rest of her life. It wasn’t too late to still be that person she’d been before, the fun one who took chances and just went for it.
Mind whirling, she glanced over at Otis with his crossword. He was gnawing on his pencil just like she did when she was in the middle of research. Her heartbeat sped up.
“I know what I need to do.” She hustled off the chair and toward the door. “I just have to figure out how.”
“I’ve found pie always helps with that,” Ruby Sue said, handing her a full pecan pie already wrapped up. “I’ve had this set aside, figuring you’d be over soon enough.”