by Rissa Brahm
“Preeya…you okay?”
“Oh yeah.” She shut her eyes to reset herself. “Sorry, got sidetracked…anyway, here’s the entertaining part. That good-bye note that Josh had left me…”
Ben nodded, all attention.
“Well, it included song lyrics that I’d supposedly inspired…and now he’s a gazillionaire. Ever hear ‘Sun and Moon in the Guest Room’?”
Ben shook his head, then smirked. “Off the grid for the better part of the year. But wow, that’s insane. Too bad muses don’t get residuals.”
She laughed. “That’s what…a friend of mine said. Anyway, I heard the damn song last night in the cab. It makes me cringe every damn time.”
“Teen love. Oh so deep, yes?”
“Yeah, right.”
“Well, my teen love”—he moved his hand to his chest, to the lanyard around his neck, then dropping his hand back down to the table, he cleared his throat—“became my wife.” He shook his head and sighed, then dug up a thin smile. “Shit, I’m sorry.” But neither his expression nor his apology did a thing to hide the lingering sadness in his eyes.
She could’ve cried a river for him. “It’s fine, Ben, really—”
“No. It isn’t. We had such an amazing day. And”—he slid his hand out across the table, nearly knocking over his wine glass, and grabbed her hand—“you’re amazing, Preeya. Fucking unbelievable to me.”
The heat in her cheeks and the warmth in her chest got her light headed. “Ben.” She looked down at their hands, then laced her fingers with his and slid her other hand on top. Venturing to meet his eyes, she found intensity and something else…and it was almost too much.
Topic change, Preeya. She had to get them back to the light side before she broke into sobs of crazy. Because, damn it, she also had loved the day, and the sweet—and sensual—focus on them. And she wanted that back now. For him…and for her. No downers allowed on such a day.
On her fake honeymoon.
She smiled…then untangled their hands to grab the dessert menu. “So, hey, do you, um, want to share a slice of triple-chocolate cheesecake? I have such a craving after our crazy energy-output today.” She gave him a super-seductive glimmer.
But her suggestion was met with a super-awkward silence.
Then he squinted his eyes at her, swallowed, and disengaged his eye-lock. With the loss of his gaze went his warmth and their vibe. Ben had left the table, though his body still sat in the chair across from her.
She squirmed in her seat. Shit, Preeya. Bad segue.
She’d been insensitive—no, she’d offended him. Or worse, she’d hurt him. And now she couldn’t overcome the heat stroke that had taken her by the throat on its sprint up to her face.
As she fought the tightening in her chest, that old panic as if she were all alone, her phone rang from somewhere in her purse—and there went any hope for resuming their kinetic connection. She closed her eyes and wished that a slow-motion blink would rewind and undo the past minute.
But it did nothing.
And the phone just kept buzzing.
“So sorry.” She reached for the phone in her bag to at least stop the obnoxious noise. Then she glanced at the screen, probably deepening the offensive-factor, but as it turned out, the call was from SafeHaven. Which she’d just missed.
Not the usual ringtone, though.
“Shit.”
“What is it?”
“It’s, um, not sure. My sister’s facility…but, damn it, um…let me go to the front and call, okay?” And without catching his reply, she’d placed full attention on her phone screen and gotten up from her chair.
She weaved through the maze of tables. Four missed calls from Aunt Champa and three others from SafeHaven? Fuck.
Why had she left her cell in her purse and her purse in the car all day?
So she could fully experience and enjoy the excursion away from the world. With Ben.
Screw enjoyment. Experience. Missing a call from SafeHaven—several calls—damn it. The surge of quaking guilt moved her legs and feet and pulse fast, late-to-a-flight fast. Short of breath, she came upon the slew of people milling about the restaurant’s front lobby and vestibule. She worked for a full breath, then continued out to the parking lot when she pressed the number.
CHAPTER 24
“This is Preeya Patel. I just missed a call from—”
“Yes, hold the line, please.”
“But is everything all right with Prana? Prana Patel, my sister.”
“Yes, Prana Patel is…fine, but, oh goodness, hold a moment, please…”
Hold? What the hell? Was Prana fine or was she now not fine?
“Preeya Patel. How selfish can one person be? You miss your father’s wedding and don’t bother to call? Aside from all that I have done for you, young lady, you should really know what your father, my brother, has done for you. It’s about damn time.”
“Aunt Champa? What’s going on? Is Prana okay? Tell me”—you horrid witch!—“is everything all right with my sister?”
“Oh, so you care about Prana? But you abandon her at this family function. The nerve…really, the nerve of you!”
Like their father’s wedding had a damn thing to do with either of his precious daughters. He’d abandoned her and her sister. And Champa had the nerve to put it on Preeya?
Wait, had they brought Prana to the stupid wedding as bait? Or as the ultimate guilt trip? Or so her father could save face and look like he’s father of the fucking year? Have at least one daughter present. And bonus points for having the disabled one there. Fucking prick. Hell, it was probably all of the above.
Focus, Pree. On what matters.
“Is she all right, Champa? Please, just tell me that. Is Prana okay?”
“Yes. But your father’s not. He’s devastated. And humiliated.”
“Like I give a shit if he’s embarrassed. Don’t you see that? I…we were left by my parents—”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa—”
“No. You let me finish. I was stuck with you, my aunt, treated like an outcast, always put down just to bring your own daughter up. I thought family was…was unconditional. I had no goddamn mother, for Christ’s sake. And you had to go and remind me that I wasn’t your damn kid every fucking day I lived in your house. I never even felt like your niece…” She paused, out of breath and suddenly light-headed. “I hardly felt like a damn stranger!”
“Are you done, Cinderella?”
Silence. Preeya had no more words, just fumes, her chest heaving.
“First off, your father did not abandon you. Your mother, on the other hand, did.”
“My mother left us for a cause; my father left us for fear and greed. Left us to the wolves, Prana and I—left to the fucking wolves.”
“I am no wolf, my dear, and I hope to God you never go to India to know what preying animals really look like. But, no, you are wrong—dead-wrong about my brother. He saved your sister’s life. And yours. And you’re wrong about your mother, too.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Then Ben came up behind her and asked with his eyes if he should stay there with her—worried compassion in his face. She nodded. Because please, for the love of God, someone stay with me through this insanity.
“Your mother left…because of your sister. A month after giving birth—she left. Not for some charitable mission in India, Preeya. Not for anyone but herself. She didn’t want the burden of raising Prana. And so the coward left. She left Prana and you and my brother. She abandoned all three of you because of her selfish heart, her lazy, love-lacking heart.”
“I don’t believe you. I don’t! Why would my father lie to me?” Her head swam, heart shook. “You just want to demonize her, is all. Because you got stuck with me. She sacrificed raising her own children to go and help hundreds. Thousands by now. You wish you had a molecule of that selflessness in you.”
“Oh, you think raising your sister, with all her issues, wouldn’t have scared her off? Her entire
life would have been on duty. Prana is seventeen years old now and she can’t even use the restroom on her own. That child would’ve cut into your mother’s perfect life. No more ‘everything-to-the-wind’! That free-spirit got off scot-free, that’s for sure.”
Preeya went silent in her desperate attempt to find oxygen. But nothing. She could only muster a shallow half-breath through her shock.
“Preeya, your father lied to you for the same selfless reason he does anything. He didn’t want you to blame Prana. And so you wouldn’t think bad of your mother and then project her ills on yourself. But honestly, I think that’s exactly who you turned out to be, Preeya Patel. Just like your selfish witch of a mother. And nothing like your father. If only…”
Preeya blinked her eyes. She took another attempt at air, but now having been stabbed in the chest by someone who dared call herself flesh and blood—her guardian—she couldn’t for the life of her snag a breath. And if her gasping had pulled any oxygen into her lungs, it all must’ve leaked out those dagger holes in her heart, because the next instant she only saw a blurry version of Ben through hazy eyes. She blinked desperately for clarity, but things only got blurrier. And foggier. Then darkness.
CHAPTER 25
He slid his hand from her cheek to her neck and checked her carotid pulse. It was racing, but not in the red zone, and her breathing, shallow but even. He’d thankfully caught her when her knees gave out—God, a head injury would’ve meant half a night in a Mexican ER if you were lucky.
Her phone, though, he hadn’t caught. It now lay at his feet. He shifted Preeya’s weight in his arms so he could hold her and open the car door without her falling. Ben slid her into the front seat, situated her legs and head, then bent down to grab her phone from the ground.
It wasn’t shattered, just dinged on a corner. The call minutes still ticked away—he heard a shrill voice coming through the tiny speaker. He put the phone to his ear, but the call ended. He hit End a few times to clear it before slipping the device into his pocket and refocused on Preeya.
He kneeled at her side, took her wrist to feel her pulse again, and to feel her warmth. He waited twenty seconds then multiplied—her pulse felt fast still, but nothing to be concerned about. He brushed a loose strand of hair from her face. So drained, so calm, so damn gorgeous and sweet and smart.
He sighed. God, what had upset her so badly?
She moaned, as if in a dream.
“I’m right here, Preeya. You’re okay and I’m right—”
A buzz sounded from his pants pocket. Just in case it was whomever she’d been speaking to—her sister’s doctor maybe?—he glanced at the screen.
Thnx Pree, and FYI, I can’t stop thinking about you. Always, Ev.
From Evan Chambers, date, time, et cetera.
Evan? Can’t stop thinking about her?
Hey. None of your business, Ben.
Right.
He shoved the phone back in his pocket and the lingering thoughts—Evan?—down deeper in his mind.
“Preeya. Hey, Preeya…it’s me, Ben,” he whispered in her ear. Her eyelids fluttered, then stuttered open.
“Hey, back,” she murmured, looking around slowly in an obvious daze.
“You’re sitting in my car. You just passed out.”
“Huh. Right. Yeah, I…I remember…things going fuzzy.”
He wouldn’t dare ask what had upset her unless she wanted to tell him, but…“You’re staying with us tonight.”
“No, no. Just take me to the hotel. I’ll be okay.”
“You’re staying. And I’ll postpone my departure. So I can be here for you.”
But her head just kept shaking from side to side. As if she was against something more than what he was saying. “No. No, no. I want to go with you, Ben. On your excursion. I want to go with you, to help.”
Had he heard her right? Yes, but she was delirious. “I would love that, but you are not in any shape to make that call right now.” And what of her job? Where was this coming from?
Her eyes widened and darted at him with a sternness he hadn’t seen from her in the short—yet extremely intense—time he’d known her. “I am in fine shape. Perfectly sound. Never more clear-headed. Really. I want to come. I want to help. With you.”
He smiled at her, though still taken aback. “We have another day and a half to think, talk, plan. Until then, let’s get you home, comfortable, rested.”
“I need Wi-Fi. Gotta video-call Prana, my sister. See that she’s okay.”
“Stacy has Wi-Fi.”
“Your sister’s house is fine, then. Let’s go.”
Ben moved to stand, but her hand took his arm. “Wait. I…I want to stay with you tonight. With you, with you. That wouldn’t be…appropriate, though. At your sister’s, with the kids there…”
His pulse ratcheted up a few hundred RPMs—her intensity, her insistence, her focused need, it was like a shot to his heart. “Your hotel has Wi-Fi, right?”
She gave him a frantic nod. God, that call had shaken her up and made her downright impulsive. “Yes. The hotel. To the hotel.”
He swept a few more loose wisps of her black-as-night hair from her panic-stricken face and shook his head, unsure if this was happening in real life, real time. “Okay, so…I’ll stay with you tonight.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll call Stacy and let her know.”
“Yes.”
“You really should have a doctor close by in case, you know, you faint again.” He sighed then winked—this was happening.
“Yes, Ben. I need you…close by.” But her expression wasn’t suggestive or seductive. It was still fear-stricken and stunned. His hand moved to her cheek, brushing it with his thumb. “I’ll stay with you, Preeya,” he whispered. “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
*
Just as he inserted the key into the ignition she took his hand and nuzzled her cheek into his palm. How drained she seemed. How vitally spent.
“Thank you. And, Ben, I’m sorry…for earlier. At the table. When you were trying to talk about your wife. And then us…I was—”
His finger at her lips halted her words. “You’re fine, Preeya Patel. You owe me no apology. If anything, I owe you an—”
“No.”
“Yes. It’s hard to know…what to say around me. I still don’t control…my emotions, my reactions.” He shook his head then took her hand. “And honestly, since, you know Jamie’s passing, I haven’t felt like myself…the real me, until now, until you. So for that, I should thank—”
A loud ringing interruption came from his pants pocket.
“It could be SafeHaven…”
He shifted to grab then hand the phone to Preeya. “Just…keep it short,” he suggested, not wanting her upset again. And not wanting it to be that Evan again.
“It’s Amy…from her honeymoon cruise? There’s gotta be something wrong. Hello?”
*
Amy’s frantic ramble overwhelmed Preeya, so she put it on speakerphone so Ben could grasp anything she missed.
“They just got Wi-Fi restored on the ship, and we saw the missed calls from Darren’s mother. It apparently happened Sunday morning. The doctors say it’s a miracle his brother’s even alive.” Amy spoke through her sobs. “If he’ll ever function again, they can’t say. They can’t even say if or when he’ll come out of the coma. Darren is sick over it. His brother all but raised him, Pree. And there’s no way for us to get there—no port stop for another day and a half…”
“God, Ame, I’m so sorry. What can I do?” She hated that tragedy hit her friend at all, but especially during her honeymoon. Jesus.
“My sister and mother are the only ones there from my side, and, well, they’re fucking crazy. And Darren’s mom is, of course, a wreck. I want to know how he is through trusted eyes, to put Darren at ease, if that’s remotely possible. Can you just go to the hospital, check, give us the real deal? And give Elaine a little company, too.”
“Of course.
” She motioned to Ben for a pen and paper. “Which hospital?”
“Santa Maria Hospital, ICU, room 515.”
“I’ll go now,” she said while Ben nodded to her. “The friend I’m with, he’s a doctor. He’ll take me and we’ll get the facts. Watch your phone and email, okay?”
“Right, okay. Thank you, Pree. Really, thank you.” And the call disconnected with the last remnants of a whimper from Amy Rine, or rather, Amy James.
CHAPTER 26
They headed back into the restaurant to pay, to pee, and to check for Wi-Fi so they could skip her hotel for now and get to the hospital for Amy. But she needed to reach out to her sister before anything or anyone else.
“Watch your step here,” Ben said, his hand at her lower back. His delicate touch sent warm waves over her skin.
“Thank you.”
“God, when it rains, it pours, huh?” he went on, holding the door open for her.
“You aren’t kidding.” Her phone call with Aunt Champa flashed to mind, and the brash awakening to an opposite reality replaced the warmth of Ben’s touch with a rush of icy chills up her spine. “I think I need water…”
“Of course. Sit here. I’ll get a bottle and the Wi-Fi code…if they have a hotspot.”
She plopped down on the long, cushioned bench in the restaurant’s lobby and watched Ben’s long strides to the hostess stand.
What if Ben hadn’t been there? What if she’d been alone to hear her aunt’s rant? Alone and completely off guard. And in contrast to last night, when she’d found a new piece of herself, a version of her where she could be on her own, and be okay. More than okay. Not lonely, but strong and alone, by choice. Like she was a worthy-enough person to be alone with.