by BJ Harvey
“Right,” I reply, my voice hoarse.
I feel Kate stir in my lap. Looking down, I let out a huge sigh of relief when I see two beautiful, barely open, blue eyes staring back up at me.
“Zander,” she says with a smile. Quickly followed by an, “Owww, fuck that hurts!” as she reaches a hand up to the towel I'm holding firmly against her head wound. “You're here. You came.”
“Will always be here for you, babe. The ambulance is almost here. We're taking you to get checked out. You've got a nasty cut to your head, and you were knocked out.”
“I l….l…love you...” Her voice fades away as she closes her eyes again, but fuck if it doesn't feel fucking good to hear those words from her again.
KATE
I have the biggest headache in the history of headaches. This beats the worst hangover. Even that one from when I was fifteen, and Mac and I stole some moonshine from Mr. Johnson's shed, then went to the park and drank half a bottle each.
I wake up in a horrible hospital gown. I can just imagine the view the doctors and nurses got in the ER when I was brought in. I was so out of it, I barely remember the ambulance ride to the hospital. I remember being wheeled in for a CAT scan to eliminate the possibility of a brain bleed, or hematoma, or something.
I also remember being asked if I wanted my parents called, and shaking my head profusely which just made the stabbing pain intensify, making me pass out yet again.
When I woke up the last time, Zander was holding my hand, his beautiful face marred with a huge frown. I remember him pulling at his hair as he ran his fingers through it, his eyes surrounded by dark circles as he continually refused to leave my bedside. I remember closing my eyes when the nurse came in asking him to leave, saying it was family only.
I open my eyes and slowly turn my head to look at him. “You said you were my fiancé.”
His eyes shine as a slow smile creeps up his face. “Babe, they said I couldn't be here. I would've called the JP to marry us now if I had to.”
“Oh,” I whisper, my throat parched.
Zander stands and holds a styrofoam cup to my mouth, putting the straw against my lips as I slowly drink the cool fluid.
“Thank you.”
“Anything for you, babe.”
“How about I just have you. Can I have you?”
“You never lost me.”
“I thought I was going to. When that man had me against the wall...when he pointed his gun at me...I thought I'd never see you again.” My eyes well up with tears as the enormity of what happened hits me.
Zander leans over me and wraps his arms around my shoulders, careful not to jostle my head around. I bury my face into his chest and cling to him as I let the tears flow.
“Nobody will ever hurt you again, me included,” he murmurs in my ear. “I love you too damn much to risk losing you again.”
I pull back and look up at him, struck by the sincerity in his eyes. In that moment, I don't care what's happened in the past; I just care about the here and now. Too much can happen in an instant. You can overreact without waiting for an explanation, you can get knocked out by a messed up junkie, desperate for his next fix.
I don't want to miss another moment of being with this man.
“I want go home.”
“I want to make a home with you.”
“Can we do both?” I say with a wry smile.
“Abso-fucking-lutely.”
ZANDER
With my girl back in my arms, all is right again in my world. She was only admitted overnight for observation, so I brought her back home yesterday, setting her up on the couch with a pillow and comforter and watching a romantic comedy marathon with her.
Mac and Daniel came over to check on her this afternoon, so I went over to Zach's and grabbed most of my stuff. Kate wants me moved back in as soon as possible. She keeps telling me that life is too short and that we have to live in the now.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for this new belief of hers, and I'm definitely on board with moving back in, especially since I only moved out to give her the space she asked for, but I'm waiting for the penny to drop; for the reality of what happened to her to hit. We were taught at the academy about victim support and what happens to the victims of crime. Kate isn't showing any signs of emotional trauma or post traumatic stress as yet, but I'm going to keep a close eye on her all the same.
Now that I've got her back, I'm not letting her go. When I'm sure she is going to be okay, I ring her parents and speak to her mother. She seems to be more excited over the fact that Kate has a boyfriend, than the fact that Kate has been involved in an armed robbery and knocked out. I'm definitely left shaking my head after that phone call. After that, I ring my mom, and she offers to drive straight up to look after us-she really means Kate-but I assure her that we'll be fine. The differences in our families are kind of shocking to be honest.
Kate has always said that her mother wants her to meet a man to look after her, and I've always thought she has meant emotionally and physically, but the way her mother was talking on the phone to me, I realize she meant financially. That's why I take great pleasure in telling her that I'm a rookie cop. The gasp of horror over the phone is well worth the shit I know I'll get from Kate.
Later on, when Kate is feeling a little better with the help of some pretty strong painkillers, she explains to me about her mother's belief system that men should look after their women in every way possible. How she was raised as her daddy's only 'princess', and was made to believe that she needed to find her prince charming to live a happy and fulfilled life. Instead, Kate fell for an ex stripper, now rookie cop, who treats her better than any other man she has been with.
Funny how things work out isn't it?
KATE
We lie in bed facing each other and catching our breath, having just made love for the first time in two weeks. Two weeks without this is a hell I hope to never live through again.
I missed this, missed him. I love being held so closely in his arms again, and I've never felt safer than I do right now. All of my doubts, my worries, and my insecurities are gone the second he wraps himself around me. Even in our sleep we attach ourselves to each other as if we're meant to be close, meant to be together.
“I missed you,” I say with a sigh, snuggling my head into his chest as he rolls onto his back while pulling me over with him.
“No more than me, Firebird.”
I look up at him, hoping he'll see the regret in my eyes. I rest my head on my elbow, placing the palm of my other hand on his smooth chest. “I'm sorry.”
“There's nothing for you to be sorry about. We're together now, right where we're supposed to be. Today is for us. I just want to lay here for a little while and enjoy having my girl back in my arms.”
“Your girl?”
“Hell yes, my girl. My woman!” he says with a grin, beating his chest like a caveman and making me burst out laughing. I lean forward and gently kiss his lips, pulling back as he tries to deepen it.
“I liked your notes.”
“Meant every word.”
“What were the last three words you finished them with?”
He frowns and looks at me, trying to read my face. I giggle, and he pulls me close against his body once more. I see the moment he gets what I'm talking about.
“I love you,” he murmurs against my lips.
“I love you too. Now kiss me like you mean it.”
“Don't have to ask me twice.” His mouth slams hard against mine, rough and raw as he pours everything into the kiss, leaving me no doubt that he means what he says. Soon, we're all over each other again. Zander's still being gentle. A head injury doesn't lend itself to hard, fast sex it seems.
Whatever his reasons for being nightdancer, my heart has always known that Zander is the guy I want. It has always been him. They say that sometimes the love of your life can be right in front of you, and you don't even know it. Eight months ago, I would've said that anyone who believes that
would need their head read.
But now, I'm a believer.
One month later, 2.am.
“Zander, the phone's ringing,” I slur, grumpy as hell that I've been woken up by someone probably drunk dialing and getting the wrong number.
I hear him fumble around on the top of the bedside cabinet as he tries to find the phone in the dark.
“Hello?” he mumbles against his pillow as he answers.
“Daniel … What? ... Awesome … We'll be there soon … No, there's no way Firebird would miss this for the world ... Firebird? Yep, the name kind of stuck ... Right, see you then. And tell Mac to stop swearing. She'll scare the nurses. See you soon.”
I sit up excitedly in the bed, bouncing up and down. “The babies are coming!” I continue bouncing as he nods and laughs at me. “Babe, only you would bounce on the bed at 2 a.m. after being woken up.”
“But the babies are coming! Oh my god, we have to get ready and go to the hospital.” I jump out of bed and throw some clothes on, whatever I can get hold of from my closet in the dark.
Zander slowly swings his legs over the side of the bed and stands up, flexing his delicious muscles and making me momentarily lose my train of thought as my eyes travel from his calves...up his thighs...to his bitable ass with the cutest dimples...I just want to lick them! He turns his head to me as his lips curl into a sexy as hell smirk. “Like the view, Ms. McGuinness?” he says, walking toward the bathroom.
“I always like the view, Mr. Roberts. Now stop distracting me with your naked body and get dressed so we can go see the BABIES!”
ZANDER
Six months later
I never imagined that I'd find the woman who would complete me. Don't get me wrong, I knew I'd fall in love and settle down, but I didn't foresee my firebird invading my mind and my heart. Hell, she's so deeply entrenched in my soul that I can't imagine my life without her and although we've been together for just over eleven months, it feels as if we've known each other for years.
We're very close to Mac and Daniel. Actually, Daniel and I have become great friends. Along with Zach, the three of us meet up once a month for poker and beer, away from girlfriends, fiancés, work and babies. Although, I'm quite partial to those two babies; they're the perfect mix of Mac and Daniel. They've got Daniel's easy going nature mixed with a little bit of Mac's crazy. But I swear they're going to send their parents gray before their time, but it's fucking funny to watch.
Sam and I stayed partners after my three month review period. We work well together, and slowly but surely, she's loosening up. I still think there is some big secret she's hiding, but it's her business. If she feels the need to share it with me, she knows she can.
Kate and I are still living in our apartment. Mac finally moved her stuff out when they moved into a four bedroom, three bathroom townhouse further out of town. Mac hasn't returned to work yet as the twins are taking up all of her time, and since she says it's a 'one time deal' and tells anyone who'll listen that her baby maker has 'shut up shop', I know that she wants to spend as much time with them as possible before returning to work.
As much as we wanted to have the place to ourselves, Mia wanted to move back to Chicago, and Mom and I felt better if she were living with me while she found her feet. She's just been accepted into a fashion design course which she's really excited about, and the three of us are hoping to head home at Christmas since Thanksgiving was at Kate's parents.
But that's a whole other story.
“Babe, we need to get going if we're going to make that movie,” I yell out from our living room.
“Coming.”
“That's what you said half an hour ago.”
“That's because you had me bent over a stool in the kitchen.”
“You weren't complaining.”
“I never do,” she says, walking into the hallway looking as beautiful as ever.
Unlike the previous, very short relationships I had in college, I've never become complacent with Kate. I've never become jaded, felt trapped, or anything like that. It also helps that she's totally on board with sex in public places. I swear she gets off on the thrill of getting caught more than I do. That's how I know my plans for tonight are going to blow her mind.
I walk over to her and put my hands on her hips, looking down into her blue eyes which are sparkling with amusement. She reaches up to cup my jaw as I lean my head into her hand.
“Fuck, I love you, Firebird.”
“Love you more, Zan.”
“Not possible.”
“Try me?”
“I will later, for now…” I lean down and kiss her forehead, knowing fairly well that if I kiss her lips I'll scoop her up and go straight back to our bedroom, “we need to get going. 8 p.m. movie showing. We don't want to miss it.”
“You sure?” she says with a sexy smirk that is always my downfall, except tonight. Tonight I can't give in because there is too much at stake.
“I'm sure. But you bet your ass that I'm taking that rain check.”
The beauty of this plan of mine is that I let Kate organize our 'date night' activities. This whole night has been her idea. As far as she knows, we're going out for dessert after the movie-that she picked, of course. She found a dessert and cocktail lounge claiming to have Chicago's best Tiramisu.
Halfway through the movie, an old Western that Kate thought I might enjoy, I get bored and turn to her for entertainment. I start by letting go of her hand that had been resting on top of her skirt, and pretending to tie my shoe up.
Wrapping my fingers gently around her ankle, I slowly trail them up her bare calf, caressing behind her knee, then moving my hand deftly under her denim skirt until I'm teasing the silk of her panties. She parts her legs and I can hear her breathing pick up. “Zan,” she husks out, putting her hand on mine when she thinks I'm taking it away. My little firebird is a hellcat in public, and she's only getting better.
Turning my body into hers, I move my mouth to her ear. “Tell me what you want, baby girl.” It drives her mad if I call her that when we're fooling around.
“I want your fingers inside me.” She's also rather direct about what she wants and that drives me wild.
“With pleasure. Yours, hopefully,” I murmur as I trace the shell of her ear with my tongue. I slip her underwear to the side and run my thumb over her hard clit, making her hips buck up against my hand.
“Easy, baby, you know I'll make this good for you.”
I cup her pussy, slowly inching one finger inside of her while my thumb continues to circle her clit. She turns her head, and our mouths meet. She thrusts her tongue into my mouth, smoothing it over mine as my free hand wraps around her head, holding her close to me as her moans grow louder.
“Shh,” I hear from the front of the theatre, but I don't give a fuck right now. I push a second finger into her, and she whimpers as she thrusts her hips against my hand, her tight pussy gripping my fingers forcefully. My dick is throbbing, straining against the zipper of my jeans, but right now I want to feel my firebird come apart on my fingers. I push my thumb a little harder against her, increasing the speed of my fingers as I drive them deeper into her.
“Mmm, oh God,” she whispers as I move my mouth down her neck, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses in my wake. I feel her muscles tighten, and I slam my mouth against hers to swallow her cries as her climax takes over.
I give a final few lazy strokes before removing my hand, and pushing back her underwear. Bringing my hand to my mouth, I lick my fingers clean which just makes her eyes darken again.
“Fuck, that's hot,” she whispers, leaning in and laying her head on my shoulder as she tries to slow her erratic breathing.
“You're hotter, babe. Now let's watch the rest of this movie.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders and will my hard-on to calm down, until later at least.
When the credits start rolling, I stand up and hold my hand out to her. There's one more surprise for her tonight, and I hope like hell she likes it.<
br />
We walk a few blocks towards our house, toward N.State Street. When we're a hundred feet away from our destination, I stop and turn to face her. “You trust me, right?”
She looks at me and frowns. “Of course I do. What's this about, Zan?”
“I need to blindfold you.”
“Why's that? Seriously, we can't fool around in the middle of the street.”
I try not to laugh. Her eyes are wide with shock, and I can see her mind ticking over. “Babe, I have a surprise for you, but I need to cover your eyes. I promise I won't steer you wrong.”
“Okay,” she answers instantly. Fuck, I love this woman, and to think I came this close to fucking this whole thing up. Never going to make that mistake again.
I reach into my pocket and pull out a black blindfold, covering her eyes and tying it off at the back. I make a stupid face in front of her, and when she doesn't laugh, I know she's completely in the dark. In more ways than one, it seems.
“Take my arm,” I say. She fumbles for my arm and grips tightly when she finds it. “We're going to start walking now.”
“You better not be punking me, mister,” she says, a huge smile covering her face.
The closer we get, the faster my heart starts racing. Am I doing the right thing? Too late now, Roberts.
We stop across the street from the historic Chicago Theatre. I look up to the marquee in front of the building and smile. It's perfect. I had to call in a lot of favors, but it was worth it.
I take a deep breath and turn Kate to face the sign. Standing behind her, I lean down so that my mouth is by her ear.
“I want you to take off the blindfold now and look straight ahead. And remember to breathe.”
I move back and watch her hands come up to her head, dragging the blindfold down and away from her eyes. She stands there motionless for what seems like an eternity, her hand lifting to her mouth in shock. She spins on her heels and stops dead in her tracks when she sees me kneeling on the sidewalk with my arm outstretched, a diamond solitaire engagement ring held out to her.