But now he would not argue against it. He had an all-consuming desire to get to Colorado—the sooner, the better. Physically he was probably not ready to go, for he’d not regained his normal strength or his normal weight, but now that he was free and getting well, he must soon deal with his desire to get to the Rockies and to find Harmony, even if he wasn’t quite ready. He had only waited this long because he’d wanted enough strength and health to assure that nothing would go wrong, and he’d wanted to be in good enough shape to face down Wade Tillis.
After twenty-five days he felt like a new man, except for one thing. Although he was surrounded by prostitutes who teased him and flirted with him, he had not overcome his fear of being with a woman again. Did two years of abstention affect a man in such a way that he could never perform again? He did not want to go back to Harmony as half a man. If she was still free and still loved him, he wanted to be a man for her in every way.
He had begun to sleep on a cot behind the kitchen, so that Tillie could use her old room to entertain customers. Tillie had been kind to him. She had nursed him those first few days, and she’d held him when he’d needed comforting. He felt indebted to her; he liked her. And he’d often seen desire for him in her eyes. Several times she had undressed and offered herself to him; it had bothered him that he could not perform unless a woman teased and persuaded him. When the time came, he wanted to be in control, to choose the time and not need any prompting. He was becoming more and more worried. He felt that something was wrong with him, as a result of the brutal beatings he’d suffered. He was ready in every other way to go back to Colorado, but he would not go until this final healing occurred.
On a warm night in late September, he sat wide awake, on the edge of his cot, smoking, thinking. In the wee hours of the morning the “boardinghouse” had finally quieted, and it was a good time to think. Some customers were spending the night with their chosen partners, but the saloon was closed and the kitchen was quiet. Buck took a drag on his cigarette, then watched it glow in the dark. He heard a noise in the kitchen then, and peeked through the door to see Tillie looking through the cupboards. He said nothing at first, only watched her. Her long, dark hair was disheveled, and her thin silk robe was tied loosely so that her breasts were partially exposed. She took out a pie then and cut a piece, putting it on a plate and turning to sit down at the table.
Buck opened his door farther. “You having trouble sleeping too?”
She glanced up at him, her eyes running over his broad chest and flat belly, then dropping to that part of his body that was making him so concerned.
“I got hungry,” she answered. “I had a busy night.”
He left the cigarette in the corner of his mouth as he emerged from his room to sit at the table with her. “Want me to heat some coffee?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I don’t think so. I’ll just drink some water.”
“I’ll get it.” He got a glass from the cupboard, filled it, and set it in front of her. Suddenly, he felt jealous, not because he cared for her, but because she’d had customers that night and he wondered if he could outperform any of them. If he could please this woman who’d known all kinds of men, he could please anyone, and somehow, sitting at the table in the wee hours of the morning, worn out from her “busy night,” she looked vulnerable. She was not the aggressor now. In fact, she’d probably had her fill of men for the night. She might not be in the mood for any more sex. He was curious as to whether he could cajole her into one more round.
He sat down across from her again. “I can’t sleep lately myself,” he told her. “I’ve got to go to Colorado soon. I’m a lot stronger now. Do you think Madam Lucy will mind?”
Tillie smiled, then swallowed some pie. “I doubt it. She knows that’s what you’ve had in mind all along.”
“I owe her a lot. I’ll repay her. I’ll repay all of you somehow.”
Tillie’s smile broadened and she shook her head. “It’s not necessary.” She sighed then, sobering. “We’ve taken in others like yourself. Lucy always feels sorry for them. We all do. Someday there will be laws about such things. Of course, when there are, there will probably be laws against women like us, which will make things a little difficult.”
“I don’t think men will be in any big hurry to outlaw prostitution, especially out west where women are hard to find.”
She laughed lightly then, finishing her pie. “You’re probably right there.” She drank some water, then rose. “Well, you try to sleep, Buck. I’m going back to bed. I’ve had it.”
He stood up as she headed for the door. “Tillie,” he said softly.
She stopped and turned. He almost looked like a little boy pleading for something.
“Come to bed with me,” he told her. It was a gentle command. Her heart raced, for she’d wanted nothing more than to be bedded by Buck Hanner before he went away. But she instantly reminded herself that his situation was a delicate one. She had not come after him, had not exposed herself or thrown herself at him. Did he need to feel he had talked her into it? If so, she was willing to cooperate. She knew men well, and had suddenly realized what this one needed.
“I’m pretty worn out,” she answered.
He walked up to her then, pulling the robe off her shoulders. “Then I’ll do all the work. You don’t have to do anything.” He gently grasped her shoulders, and she could feel his hands trembling. “Please, Tillie.” He bent down and kissed her eyes. “I’ve got to know.” He pulled her close, pressing her bare breasts against his chest. “Something is different. I want you this time. Maybe that’s all I needed, just to want you and not force it. Seeing you sitting in here alone after being with men who just used your body all night and didn’t care about the woman inside of it, I wanted you.”
She felt a hardness against her groin and a rush of desire swept through her, true desire, not just a mechanical reaction. She looked up at him. “Buck?”
He met her lips, gently at first, then savagely, all the pent-up needs suddenly flooding his bones, his blood, his nerve endings. Harmony! If only this could be Harmony!…But he could pretend, couldn’t he? After all, perhaps someday soon he could be making love to her. He must be ready. Of course he couldn’t know what he might find when he went back to Cripple Creek. Perhaps Harmony could no longer be his. But he had to get these things out of his system before seeing her again. Perhaps he couldn’t have her back right away. How could he control his furious desire for her unless he vented his lust, even his rage, on someone else first?
His mouth left her lips to move down over her neck in heated passion, and he lifted her in his arms and kissed her breasts as he carried her to his cot. When he laid her down, he moved over her, tasting the large nipples of her breasts with urgent hunger.
“Buck!” She ran her hands through his thick hair. “Be careful. You’re hurting me.”
He left her breast, moving over her throat again to her lips. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “It’s all happening so fast. I don’t know why—”
“Who cares why? I’ve never had a man want me just for me before. It’s wonderful to be wanted—needed—in a real way.” She leaned up and kissed his breasts, then reached down to gently caress the part of him that told her he would be a man again. “It’s been a long time, Buck. Don’t hurt me.”
He straddled her, opening her robe the rest of the way. “I’d never hurt you.” Why did those words sound familiar? Harmony! She’d said that to him the first time, and he’d answered the same way. Harmony! God how he needed and wanted her! He eagerly kissed the soft hair between Tillie’s slender white legs, and soon he was giving her more pleasure than she had experienced in a long time, despite her profession. This was different. This was Buck, a friend, a nice man she knew well—and he needed her. No man had truly needed her in a long time. She opened herself to him, glorying in the expertise she suspected he had all along. She envied the nameless woman who waited for him in Colorado, as she panted his name over and over, grasping at
his hair, on fire for him as he moved back up her body then surged inside her, plunging deep, shuddering and groaning at the wonderful release. It seemed only seconds before he exploded inside her, so fiercely that she could feel his life flowing into her in urgent pulses.
They lay there quietly then, both of them perspiring and out of breath. “Goddamn, I’m sorry,” he groaned. “It was too quick, too goddamned quick.”
“It’s all right, honey,” she soothed. “The point is, it happened. That’s all that matters. We’ll just lie here awhile, just be together, and I’ll bet before the sun rises we’ll set a record, you handsome stud.”
He half rose so he could see her in the pale light that shone through his slightly open door from the lamp in the kitchen. “Was it good, Tillie?”
She smiled. “Are you kidding? My God, Buck, how did something like you go without for two years? Welcome back to the world of the living.”
His eyes teared and he kissed her lightly. “Don’t take any other customers the next few days, will you? I want to be with you all night every night. Besides, I made you a promise that when I was ready, you’d be the one.”
She ran a finger over his handsome lips. “And I’m glad as hell you promised. I’ll take no other men as long as you’re still here, Buck Hanner.” She grinned. “What a fitting name. Buck. You’re a big buck, all right.”
He buried his face in her dark hair. Yes, he was about ready now. He’d spend some time with Tillie; then he’d be healed in every way, ready to go back to Cripple Creek…and Harmony.
Harmony Jones Tillis was a different woman when she reached Cripple Creek, much to Wade’s delight. She was more receptive, seemingly happier. Wade Tillis felt he had achieved the ultimate success, for not only had he molded Harmony Jones into a scheming power monger, he had apparently won her heart. Suddenly she was inviting him back to her bed. That was just fine with him, for Harmony Jones Tillis was a beautiful creature indeed, made more beautiful by her cold heart. And getting along with her, convincing her they were made for each other, would help him slowly but surely siphon off her fortune. Quietly, paper by paper, he would make sure her name was removed from the ownership documents for their many investments. One day, Harmony Jones Tillis would have to stay with Wade Tillis whether she loved him or not. She would have to submit to him in every way, if she wanted to keep enjoying the fruits of their fortune. If she chose to leave him, fine. But he was protected from any loss, and from having to turn over anything to the haughty little girl he’d talked into marrying him.
He would probably let her keep the store in St. Louis. He cared little for it. That was just one of her flings at revenge; marrying him had been another one. He hated Buck Hanner all the more because his was a rebound marriage. Still, he had won in the long run, for he’d legally bedded Buck Hanner’s woman; and he was secretly stealing her blind so that one day it would not be her decision as to whether or not he came to her bed, it would be his. But for now, she was willing. Why spoil a good thing? He was happy enough, and so, apparently, was Harmony. She made a fine wife for such a prominent man. He’d keep her as long as they got along so well—and as long as she didn’t look at younger men.
He often wondered when and where Buck Hanner had met his death, and how. Under the lash, he hoped. That would serve Hanner right, for harassing him, tailing him, threatening him. And for what? Over his stupid little niece, who had been foolish enough to fall for a ranch hand. No one with the name of Tillis should marry so far beneath her. Besides, she had scorned his own advances. She’d been so young and pretty, and all he’d wanted to do was kiss her. Couldn’t an uncle fall in love with a niece? Well, that didn’t matter now. Filled with rage because she was in love with a stupid, worthless ranch hand, he’d promptly sent her away. And he wasn’t upset about her death, for that had meant he inherited the ranch. On that inheritance he had built his fortune.
That was a long time ago. Mary Beth was dead, and now Buck Hanner was dead too. He had married Buck Hanner’s pretty little lady. For some reason things just seemed to work in his favor. It made life most pleasant.
Harmony began to entertain more now that she was happier and more settled. She was totally convinced she had found her niche and had rid her heart and mind of Buck Hanner. She wanted friends. She wanted to play the role of a wealthy woman. The trip to St. Louis had been good for her, and her decision to become Wade’s wife in all respects had proven to be a good one. He didn’t bring out the passion she’d known with Buck, but such passion was dangerous. Wade was her husband, and she enjoyed being a woman. It was time to look to the future.
She entertained two and three times a week in their handsome home on a hill overlooking Cripple Creek, serving the finest foods and often hiring musicians to play for her guests. She felt that it was time some refinement came to Cripple Creek. In fact, she intended to talk to Wade about building another theater, and perhaps bringing in some kind of industry to keep the town going once the mines were played out.
It was at one of her many parties, as she strolled in her garden with one of her guests, that she spotted Hank Fisher standing at the fence, watching her with those sorrowful eyes of his. She scowled at him, then excused herself to go and talk to him. The woman she’d just left watched, aware that Hank Fisher had been the one to bring Harmony Jones down from the mountain, and that Harmony had been a bitter, scheming woman ever since. In a few moments she hurried off to join several ladies who still loved to gossip about what had happened between Harmony Jones and Buck Hanner on the mountain.
Harmony was almost grateful to leave the woman. Most women bored her, for they knew nothing of business and generally had no interest in doing anything but dressing up and socializing. Nonetheless, she played the role required of a woman in her position in society. Now here was Hank again. She had thought she had gotten rid of him, of his piercing, knowing eyes. Only Hank knew what had happened on the mountain, and to her knowledge he had never told anyone that she’d lost a baby up there. She had that much to thank him for, but she didn’t like seeing him. He reminded her of that winter on the mountain.
“What do you want?” she asked, trying to be pleasant.
He swallowed, his hands shaking. “I…I seen him, Miss Harmony.”
Her heart leaped almost painfully. “Saw whom?” she asked cautiously.
“Buck. I seen him…in Colorado Springs.”
She paled visibly and grasped the fence. “Don’t lie to me!” she hissed.
“You know I wouldn’t. I was on a stage comin’ back from orderin’ supplies out of Colorado Springs for my shop. I didn’t have a chance to say nothin’ to him, ’cause the stage took off. I’d just happened to look out the window, and I seen him ride by on a black horse. His hair was longer, and he was thinner, but I could swear it was Buck.”
She strove for control. “How can you be sure?” she asked, her voice shaky. “I’ve seen…lots of men who…reminded me of him.”
“Maybe so, ma’am. But this one, well, if Buck has a twin, he’s it.”
Her eyes turned cold, in spite of her flushed cheeks and the perspiration on her forehead. She pressed a handkerchief to her brow. “It’s warm today,” she muttered casually, as though unaffected by the news. Then she took a deep breath and pressed the handkerchief to her neck. “You’re probably mistaken, Hank. Buck would never dare show his face in this territory again. I would have him hanged for stealing my gold. It is a hanging offense, you know.”
“But I’m sure it was him, ma’am.”
She shrugged, her outward calm hiding the rage burning in her soul. “Then I’ll have it checked out. I would appreciate it, Hank, if you told no one about this, not even my husband. If Buck Hanner is found and arrested, I want it to be done on my say-so. I want him to know I was the only one who had a hand in it, that I alone want to see him with a noose around his neck.”
Hank’s eyes saddened even more. “You don’t mean that, Miss Harmony.”
“Don’t I?” she snapped
. “You watch and see!”
“But what if he had a good reason?”
“Reason!” Her eyes spit fire. “There is no reason good enough to warrant leaving the woman you love pregnant and unmarried and stranded on a mountain! And to take her gold on top of it! That man destroyed me, and I shall destroy him! I’ve done it to others!”
His eyes teared. “Seems to me you’ve done it to yourself, ma’am, if you’ll pardon the remark. You ain’t nothin’ like the little girl I met that day I come when Buck was wounded.”
“Of course I’m not!” she sneered. “I’m smarter now, wiser! I’ve learned my lessons well, Hank, and I would appreciate it if you’d stop looking at me the way you do and talking about that day. It’s none of your business what kind of woman I am. I have every right to hate Buck Hanner, just as I would hate a rattler! I appreciate your not mentioning I lost a child by Buck, but having that knowledge gives you no right to come sneaking around and upsetting me all the time. I wish you hadn’t told me this. I’m sure your imagination was running away with you. Buck knows the law. To come back here would mean he’d be arrested, probably hanged. But I’ll check out what you said. I’ll send men to Colorado Springs.”
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