by Helen Brooks
‘We never achieved that in the past,’ Kate whispered a long time later.
Jack raised the face he’d buried in her hair and lifted an eyebrow. ‘That?’ he inquired. ‘A small word for a mind altering experience.’
She chuckled. ‘I meant the timing. We were sometimes out of step back then.’
‘You mean I was so hot for you I sometimes lost control,’ he said wryly. ‘I felt the same this time. It took every scrap of will-power I possessed to keep from ravishing you the moment I laid you on the bed.’
‘Ravishing is good,’ she assured him. ‘A woman likes to know she’s desirable.’ Kate’s eyes clouded. ‘It was a long time before I felt even passably attractive after you left me for Dawn.’
He winced, and moved away a fraction. ‘I suppose this banker of yours helped with that.’
‘Yes, he did. But it was never like this with David.’ Kate looked at him steadily. ‘Nor with anyone else, Jack.’
He pulled her back into his arms and kissed her. ‘God, I’ve missed you, Katie.’
They lay in each other’s arms for a long, quiet interval, but at last Jack kissed her again and slid out of bed.
‘Let’s eat,’ he said, getting dressed.
‘You go on down. I’ll follow you in a minute.’
He grinned as he collected her clothes. ‘I’ve watched you dress before.’
‘But not lately and not today.’ Kate pulled the quilt up to her chin.
Jack gave her a threatening look as he strolled to the door. ‘Ten minutes or I come and get you.’
Once the door closed behind him Kate slid out of bed, picked up her clothes and raced into the bathroom. Ten minutes later she met Jack in the hall.
‘I was just coming to look for you.’
Kate patted her midriff. ‘I’m hungry. I didn’t think I would be after that huge breakfast, but I am.’
Jack grinned. ‘Making love always did give you an appetite. You were so skinny in those days it always amazed me that you ate as much as I did—more sometimes.’
‘Lucky metabolism.’
Bran came wagging in joyful greeting as they went into the kitchen. Kate made a big fuss of him, then inspected the kitchen table with approval. Jack had put out the remains of the ham with a bowl of ripe red tomatoes, a loaf of Molly’s wholemeal bread and the platter of cheese from the night before.
‘I gave Bran one of his treats to celebrate,’ said Jack as he began to carve the ham.
‘Celebrate what?’ said Kate innocently.
He gave her a look which curled her toes. ‘You know damn well!’
Kate enjoyed the meal far more than the dinner of the evening before. They brought each other up to date on their taste in books, Jack reported on the progress of his current project and Kate talked about her clients and the trip she was making the following weekend to see Joanna.
When her phone rang Kate touched a finger to her lips and showed Jack the identity of her caller as she went out into the hall. ‘Hi, Anna.’
‘Did Jack drive you home last night?’
‘No. I stayed the night in his guest room.’
‘Thank goodness for that. I was worried sick. Look, I must apologise for Lucy. She was an absolute cow to you last night.’
‘Not your fault. She’s obviously got a great big crush on Jack.’
‘I didn’t realise just how great big it was. She was so cocka-hoop about being invited, but then she found you in possession, stunning in your black velvet against all that whiteness, and Lucy was jealous as hell.’
‘You looked stunning yourself. But did Lucy borrow her dress from her daughter by any chance?’
‘No way—Rose wouldn’t be seen dead in something like that.’ Anna chuckled. ‘Lucy was—and is—a fan of Sex and the City, hence the dress and matching toenails. She owns the entire series on DVD and watches for hours when George is away.’
‘That explains a lot. But I don’t remember her looking like that at your party.’
‘You were too stunned by meeting Jack again to notice.’
‘True. But never mind Lucy; is everything all right with baby after your epic drive home last night?’
‘Absolutely fine. Anxious Daddy cooked lunch today and I’m putting my feet up this afternoon.’
‘Good. Keep doing that. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.’
Kate turned to see Jack laughing in the doorway. ‘Did you eavesdrop?’
‘Every word. You were discussing Lucy Beresford’s dress, I take it.’
‘Guilty! Girls will be girls.’ She explained about the television series which Jack, as expected, had never seen, so wasn’t much the wiser.
‘Are you saying she got herself up like that purely on my account?’
Kate grinned. ‘It certainly wasn’t on mine!’
Jack’s mouth twisted in distaste. ‘Even if I were fool enough to play around with the wife of a friend I like and respect, it would not be Lucy Beresford.’
‘Sensible man!’
He sighed. ‘But somehow I have to make that clear to the lady, and at the same time keep George as a friend.’
‘Tricky,’ agreed Kate.
Jack’s patience suddenly ran out. ‘You could help me with that.’
‘How?’ she said, eyes narrowed.
He took her hands in his. ‘Darling, I meant to wait a while before I brought it up, but surely you can see what I’m getting at?’
‘No, I can’t.’
‘The best way out of the dilemma is to acquire a wife of my own—you, Kate.’
She stared at him. ‘Are you serious?’
‘It’s not the sort of thing one says as a joke! We’ve wasted too much of our lives apart already, so for God’s sake let’s get married, Kate.’ He waited, his eyes darkening at her lack of response. ‘I see. You obviously don’t care for the idea. Should I have gone down on one knee?’
‘The answer would still have been no, Jack.’
He dropped her hands, turned his back and strode into the living room to stand at the far windows, his back turned.
Kate followed as far as the fireplace. She waited quietly until he faced her, and forced herself to meet the ice in his eyes.
‘Did you plan this?’ he asked, in a voice so quiet and cutting she winced.
‘What do you mean?’
‘When you met me again, and found I was divorced,’ he went on in that same deadly quiet voice, ‘did you see a golden opportunity for revenge?’
‘Unlike you to be melodramatic, Jack,’ she said with distaste. ‘Anyway, you’re wrong.’
‘I don’t think so.’ He thrust his hands in his pockets and strolled towards her, lover transformed into menacing stranger. ‘The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that you’ve had this in mind from the moment we met up again. String him along, play hard to get, and then show him what he’s been missing. And put the cherry on top by turning him down flat when he proposes. Did that feel good, Kate?’ he demanded.
She shook her head silently.
‘So now what? Don’t tell me you want us to be good friends!’ He gave a mirthless bark of laughter. ‘At this moment in time, Kate Durant, I don’t feel friendly at all.’
‘I can see that, and I’m sorry for it.’ She turned away, unable to hold that hard, implacable gaze a moment longer. ‘It’s my fault. I shared your room last night because after the sleepwalking episode I was scared to stay on my own.’
‘That was last night,’ said Jack grimly. ‘But it was broad daylight when we made love this morning. You were wide awake when we walked all the way upstairs to my bedroom, Kate. You had ample opportunity to say no along the way. So why the hell didn’t you?’
She eyed him in surprise. ‘Surely it’s obvious. I wanted to make love with you—simple as that.’
‘Why?’
‘Curiosity, nostalgia, lust—take your pick. I wanted to find out if it would still be good with you.’
‘And was it?’ he asked casually, as though h
er answer was unimportant.
But Kate knew it wasn’t. She could see a telltale pulse throbbing at the corner of his clenched mouth. ‘It was miraculous, Jack. I told you that. Better than with anyone else. But it makes no difference. Even if you’re still of the same mind…and, by the look on your face, I doubt that—Ican’t marry you.’ She hesitated. ‘We could be lovers again,though, surely?’
Jack gave her a flaying look, then bent to put more logs on the fire. ‘You mean you love the sex, but you don’t want me as a husband?’
‘Something like that.’
He turned expressionless eyes on her. ‘Did it give you a buzz to tell me that, Kate? Did it make up for your hurt when I married Dawn?’
‘You have no idea how much you hurt me,’ she said with sudden passion. ‘One of my reasons for turning you down is to avoid similar hurt in future.’
His mouth twisted. ‘A pity you didn’t let me know that sooner.’
‘A great pity,’ she agreed.
‘What are the other reasons?’
‘Pretty obvious ones. When I inherited the house I found a new job, made a home here for Joanna and me—’
‘And there’s no room for a husband in your tidy little life,’ Jack said harshly. He looked at her objectively, as though seeing her for the first time. ‘When we met up again I thought you’d hardly changed at all. I was wrong. You’ve grown hard, Kate.’
‘I prefer to think of it as mature. But I agree I’m not the malleable little girl you once knew.’
‘Malleable!’ He laughed again. ‘That’s a joke. Nothing I could do or say back then changed your mind about a job in London.’
‘True. But marrying someone else by way of retaliation was a bit extreme, even for you, Jack,’ she flung at him.
They looked at each other in hostile silence for a while, then Jack took the phone from his pocket, excused himself politely and went out. Kate stayed by the fire, staring down into the flames as her heartbeat gradually slowed to normal. The odd, abrupt proposal had taken her by surprise. She just hadn’t seen it coming. If she had, maybe she could have deflected it somehow without alienating Jack so completely.
Jack came back into the room with Bran padding after him, and Kate bent to fondle the dog’s ears to hide the sudden tears of bitter regret in her eyes.
‘I rang up to check on the roads,’ Jack told her, making the fire safe. ‘Apparently there’s a lot of surface water in places, so I’ll drive you back in the Jeep. I’ll have your car sent to Park Crescent in the morning.’
Kate eyed him militantly. This was the last thing she wanted. ‘I’m perfectly capable of driving through a few puddles.’
‘The river’s broken its banks at one place. Your car is too small to cope,’ he said in a tone that warned her not to argue.
‘I don’t want to put you out—’
‘You’re not. I was driving into town to see Dad, anyway. If you’ll get your things I’ll bring the Jeep round.’
Feeling well and truly put in her place, Kate went up to the guest room. She removed the sweatshirt, folded it neatly and left it on the bed, put on her camisole and suit jacket and went downstairs. Jack was waiting with her raincoat over his arm. He held it out, and in silence Kate put it on and belted it tightly.
‘I’ll just say goodbye to Bran before I go.’
‘No need. He’s coming with us.’
The sunshine had gone, leaving an overcast afternoon as dark as Kate’s mood as Jack helped her up into the Jeep, her only consolation the welcome from Bran behind his wire screen.
When they reached the main road there were large stretches of surface water in some places. As they drew nearer the river, the water grew deeper and Kate realised that Jack had been right. Only a four wheel drive could have made the journey in safety.
‘If you can’t get my car back tomorrow it doesn’t matter,’ she told Jack. ‘I can walk into town if I need anything.’
‘Fine.’
And that was the sum total of their conversation until they arrived in Park Crescent. Instead of getting out right away, Jack looked at her for a long moment and she waited in foreboding, sure she wouldn’t like what he had to say.
‘I made a big mistake when I asked you to share my bed last night,’ he said at last.
‘And I made an even bigger one in agreeing.’ Kate gave him a mirthless smile. ‘I realise now that there was a much better solution to the sleepwalking problem. Instead of sharing your bed I should have taken Bran up to the guest room to share mine.’
‘Dogs aren’t allowed upstairs in Mill House,’ Jack said after a pause, and got out. He came round to lift her down, and then waited while she unlocked her door and deactivated her alarm.
‘Thank you for driving me home,’ Kate said politely.
‘My pleasure,’ he said with sarcasm.
‘Goodbye, Jack.’ She closed the door, turned the key in the lock and rammed the bolts home hard enough for him to hear.
It was only after the Jeep moved off that she conceded that Jack had every right to be angry. Even hurt. This was the second time she’d rejected him.
As she went upstairs to change her clothes Kate felt a deep, mounting sense of guilt. For the first time in her life she had let her hormones take control. She had known, in her heart of hearts, that if she let Jack make love to her he would take it as a sign of something far more significant than mere sex. Last night, when he was smiling at her down the length of his dinner table, it was obvious that he’d taken it for granted they were back together again in every sense of the word. But she’d assumed he just wanted them to be lovers again. The idea of marriage had never occurred to her.
If only it hadn’t rained so much.
Kate pulled on thick socks and jeans and a heavy sweater and tied her hair back from her tired face. She eyed her reflection with distaste. The way she looked now it was pretty amazing that Jack had wanted her at all. But their relationship had never been about looks. It was about the kind of rapport they’d shared over lunch today as much as the heat and rapture of their lovemaking earlier on. And there was no use blaming the rain. Without the flooding she wouldn’t have stayed the night, it was true. But even after the upset about the sleepwalking she should still have had the strength to control her own libido in broad daylight. She scowled at herself. Normally she never noticed that she had a libido. With Jack it was different. Just one look from those silver-flecked grey eyes and every clamouring hormone she possessed ran riot.
CHAPTER TEN
THAT weekend marked a downward turn in Kate’s ‘tidy little life’. Her painting and decorating was finished, it was too cold to start gardening, and it was so hard to fill her free time she accepted another client. When she found her keys posted through the door and her car parked outside she wrote a polite letter of thanks to Jack, but after that had no further contact with him of any kind. And felt the lack of his forceful presence in her life just as painfully second time round as the first.
Over supper mid week Anna was agog to hear details of the sleepover at Mill House. Armed against this in advance, Kate reported that she’d slept in a guest bed and stayed for lunch next day, after which Jack had driven her home in the Jeep.
Anna sighed, disappointed. ‘We thought there might have been more to it than that.’
‘You did, not me,’ protested Ben. ‘Leave the girl alone.’
Kate blew him a kiss. ‘Thanks for the “girl” bit.’
‘Pity though,’ said Anna with regret. ‘I hoped that spending the night together would do the trick.’
‘We didn’t spend the night together,’ Kate reminded her. At least, not all of it.
Kate was heartily glad when the weekend arrived at last and she could make for Manor House School to spend a few happy hours with Joanna. The time with her passed far too quickly, as always, and Kate was in melancholy mood after taking Jo back to school that evening. When Philip Brace intercepted her in the car park she was pleased to see him and this time, with
nothing in the world to hurry home for,she accepted his offer of a drink or coffee in the nearest pub before the drive back. Philip was an interesting companion and the interlude was pleasant, but when he saw her to her car afterwards Kate thanked him rather formally for the coffee and his company.
‘No doubt we’ll see each other at school again some time.’
‘I’ll look forward to it,’ he assured her, his wry smile telling her he knew exactly where she was coming from.
Kate’s mood deteriorated on the journey home. There was no point in encouraging Philip Brace—or anyone else. The only man she wanted in her life was Jack Logan. And fat chance there was of that that now. She would just have to make the best of life without him. Again. Easy to decide, she thought morosely, but hard to put into practice, even though Jack could have been on another planet for all she knew until she met his father in the park one Saturday afternoon with Bran.
‘What the devil happened between you two, Kate?’ Tom Logan asked bluntly when the greetings were over.
Kate fondled the dog instead of meeting his eyes. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You know perfectly well, my girl. Jack is like a bear with a sore head these days. When I see him, that is. He’s either working all the hours that God sends on several projects at once, or driving to London—sometimes there and back the same day.’
And Kate, stabbed by jealousy, could well imagine why. ‘I haven’t seen him, Tom.’
‘Which accounts for his permanent black mood!’ He sighed. ‘I was so sure you two would get back together. What went wrong, Kate?’
Kate smiled into the striking Logan eyes. ‘How about I tell you over coffee at my place? You never did bring Bran to visit me.’
While Bran explored the garden Kate showed her visitor over her house, anxious for his opinion. ‘What do you think of it?’
‘You’ve done a very good job,’ he assured her. ‘Your aunt would be pleased. The house would sell like the proverbial hot cake if you put it on the market.’