by Lilah Rivers
It would be strange to consider the possibility of loving again.
Strange, but not entirely unwanted.
Chapter 13
Clementine was hard at work, ensuring that the beef was cooked with just the right amount of red inside for what each of them liked. Her aunt’s steak was hardly browned at all, and Hank’s just a bit more.
Clementine and David liked theirs more or less the same, cooked thoroughly but with a tender, pink interior.
Just as she had everything near ready, Aunt Roberta came down the stairs from her room and found her in the kitchen.
“Oh, dear,” she said, looking at Clementine.
“What is it?” Clementine asked, suddenly nervous. Had she done something wrong? Was Aunt Roberta not in the mood for steaks?
“I forgot to tell you that I have a meeting with a friend in town today. Mrs. Holstice had asked me to come and visit her for lunch. You have to forgive me, Clementine, I plumb forgot,” Aunt Roberta said.
Clementine’s heart sunk a little as she had been hard at work to make sure the food was good, but she also felt relief that it wasn’t anything more than that.
“Oh, don’t worry about it, Aunt Roberta. I can save it for you for dinner,” she said.
“Would you? I would so appreciate that,” Aunt Roberta replied.
“It’s no trouble at all. Just so long as you enjoy the lunch you have with your friend,” Clementine said.
“I will. Mrs. Holstice is always a fun one to be around. A mischievous woman for a widow. You’d think I was tame compared to her,” Aunt Roberta said with a laugh.
Clementine liked that sound of that. Her Aunt was already so full of life that thinking or another woman her age being even feistier was a rather lovely thought.
“I hope that the two of you have a splendid time. Please tell her that I should very much like to meet her. Maybe at church on Sunday,” Clementine said.
“That would be lovely. Anyway, have a nice afternoon. I will let the boys know that lunch is nearly ready,” Aunt Roberta said.
“Thanks,” Clementine replied, watching her Aunt go out the door.
A few minutes later, Hank came into the kitchen.
“Sorry, Miss Clementine. Can I scarf mine down quickly?” he asked.
Clementine nodded, uncertain why he was apologizing or why he had to eat quickly.
“Certainly. Is everything okay?” she asked.
“Oh, yes, Miss Clementine. It’s only that I need to head into town. You remember—of course you remember, how silly of me to think it. Well, after the Reverend’s visit the other morning I wrote to him, saying that I’d like to chat with him in person,” Hank explained.
“Oh? You think you might be able to discuss with him about the objections that he has?” Clementine asked as Hank began to shovel the food into his mouth.
“I know it’s not as though he is suddenly going to support the union of his daughter and me, but I should like to at least have an understanding about what happened the other day,” Hank said, chewing as he spoke and trying not to show too much food as he did so.
“You deserve that at the very least,” Clementine agreed.
“I thought so too. But who knows. Maybe there’s something even more objectionable about me than I realized,” Hank said.
“I’m sure that’s not it,” Clementine said.
“Anyway, you should know that the things he was saying about David? Well, David isn’t interested in Chelsea,” Hank said, as if there was some meaning to that.
Clementine nodded, although she wasn’t sure what Hank’s intentions were in telling her that. Did he mean to give her hope? Or was he just explaining for his own sake?
“Anyway, have a nice lunch,” Hank said, taking his leave.
Clementine sat and tried to decide if she should go ahead and eat or if she ought to take David’s food out to him first. Somehow, it hadn’t occurred to her that he would do the same as he usually did.
David came inside to eat. Even without Hank and Aunt Roberta present.
“Good afternoon,” he greeted, walking through the door and taking off his hat.
“Good afternoon to you, as well,” Clementine said.
“Hank was right. He said that it smelled something wonderful in here,” he said.
“I hope it doesn’t disappoint,” Clementine replied, dishing up the steak and carrots for each of them.
David prayed over the meal and they began to eat.
“This is mighty fine,” David said.
“You think?” she asked.
“I mean it. Your food never disappoints,” he said.
“Well, I’m sorry that you’re the only one who’s here to eat it just now,” she said.
“Yeah, but I think Hank enjoyed it. He was hiccupping as he said goodbye and headed towards town,” David said.
“I hope that things go well for him,” David said. “It makes me terribly sad to know that the Reverend isn’t happy about the two of them being together.”
“Yeah, and it must be strange for you. With the Reverend thinking you’re a good catch and then poor Hank being your good friend?” she said.
“Oh, I’ve explained to Hank and I will as many times as need be. I’m not looking to court Chelsea St. Claire,” he said.
“That’s good for Hank. And, well, I guess it’s good for you too because I don’t think that Chelsea has any interest in you,” Clementine chuckled. “No offense, but her heart is pretty well set on Hank.”
“As it should be. He’s a good man. Besides, I’ve got another young lady that I’m having to deal with and I can’t be getting noticed by women I have no interest in,” David said.
Clementine’s head shot up at this. She was surprised he would be so forthcoming with that kind of information, but she was also worried about what exactly he meant.
Was he talking about her? Was she the woman who was interested in him that he didn’t care for in return?
Clementine had thought she was being subtle enough about her feelings, but maybe she was wrong. Maybe she had shown too much, stared a little too long and whatnot.
“Oh, so you have another young lady after you?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he said, with a hint of a laugh and a smile.
Clementine couldn’t read the look or the reaction. Maybe it was a little bit bitter or not wanted? But maybe it was something different. Perhaps he actually did like the attention and maybe even like the young woman.
Of course, she still didn’t know if he was referring to her or another young lady in town. If it was her, she hoped that he did care. But he said he didn’t and now, she was simply hoping that he was talking about someone else.
Then again, how many young women in town did there have to be who considered him a prospect? If Chelsea’s father did, as well as another young lady, what if there were others?
Once more, Clementine scolded herself for caring so much. She had no right to be upset about this. David Brown was a free man and someone that she could not be overcome by with her feelings.
She was not that foolish. At least she never had been in the past and she certainly didn’t want things changing now.
“Well, I’m sure that all of the unwanted attention will cease when you end up finding the right woman,” she said, somewhat hoping he didn’t take that to mean her even though she secretly hoped that he would.
David looked at her and held her gaze for a moment. Clementine wondered if he could read her thoughts in that gaze. What would he think of them? What would he think of her?
“You know, your eyes are the loveliest shade of brown,” he said, rather forthrightly.
Clementine froze, wondering what she was supposed to say in reply to that. But before she had to say anything, David went back to eating, as casually as could be done. She almost wondered for a second if she had imagined the whole thing.
“Can I get some more carrots?” he asked, then.
“You may,” she replied, being formal i
n her words and stiff in her movements as she scooped another spoonful onto his plate.
“So, I know we talked a little bit about our old lives,” David said, getting Clementine’s attention.
“Yes, we did,” she replied.
“I don’t know if I made myself overly clear about something,” he said. “You know, I told you how my heart was fairly broken.”
Clementine nodded, hearing the sigh in his voice.
“But I don’t know if I told you that the Lord has done good work to heal it,” he added.
This lit up Clementine’s heart. Although she assumed that David was no longer interested in the woman he had been jilted by, he did appear to be honestly seeking God’s Will for the future.
“I know that my heartbreak in love is very different from what you faced in losing your family, but I do hope that he continues his work in you and heals you, likewise,” David said.
“Oh, he has been. He is faithful,” Clementine said, eagerly.
Truly, God had been doing so much for her. He had been bringing her all manner of joy and peace through the tragedies that she had faced. It had been so much grief, so much pain.
But here she was, strong and ready for the future. She had been able to begin a new life, all thanks to his goodness.
“I think the Lord has used your aunt in a lot of ways for us both. She’s like his angel for us, opening doors for you to still be with family and for me to use my gifts while starting fresh,” David said.
“That’s a grand way of looking at it. I like that you see it in those terms. You know, I think Aunt Roberta would appreciate that as well,” Clementine told him.
“I’ll have to tell her that, then. But anyway, I thought I should bring it up with you also. You really have been a blessing for me here, anyway. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you,” he said.
Clementine smiled at David, again uncertain of herself.
She just didn’t know what to say. Was he teasing her? Did he know that she liked him and had he decided to use that for his own fun?
It was difficult trying to decipher David’s words and his behavior. One moment he was complaining about the women in town being after him, and then the next he was showering her with all these compliments. What was she to think?
But it appeared in his smile that David certainly had some sort of intention. Whatever it might be, Clementine imagined that one day, she would find out.
They ate the rest of their meal in silence, breaking the moments only now and then to glance at one another. But those glances and hints of smile held something meaningful, something that Clementine was afraid to confess.
Yes, she had thought once that she had been in love, and then believed herself to be a fool for thinking that when she realized that it hadn’t been love at all. But this? This was something different. This was more than mere attraction or interest or the horrible confusion that she would get in her gut sometimes when she thought a man might be interested in her.
No, this was a sudden desire to spend her life with this man. Something that she didn’t know if she would ever have or truly want. That is, she hadn’t known she wanted it until now.
And now? Now the answer appeared quite plainly before her.
Clementine would be more than happy to spend her life with a man like David Brown.
Chapter 14
“I think I would have been like Peter. Honestly, I always think I’m more faithful than I really am,” David said with a laugh.
“You don’t seem like Peter to me,” Clementine replied, shaking her head but evidently amused.
They were standing outside the church having just enjoyed a good service, but both having come away with realizations about their own personalities.
“I told you, I’m not near so hopeful of my heart to think that I’m anything close to those men,” Clementine said. “Or the women, of course. Although I’d like to be a woman like Lydia who ran her own business and still managed to do some good ministry.”
“I think you’d be great at that,” David said, feeling warm and grinning at her.
They had been talking more and more lately and David was truly beginning to feel like the connection was mutual. After that lunch they’d had to themselves, he hoped that his feelings were clear to Clementine.
He thought he had addressed things well enough. He had covered himself that, in case she heard about Tabitha’s feelings for him, she would know that he was not interested. He had been perfectly clear about all of that. As well as the fact that he no longer cared for Georgia.
Yes, after that day, David was certain that Clementine understood where his heart was now at.
“Well, regardless of what I would or wouldn’t do well, I do wish that I could be a woman of stronger faith,” Clementine confessed.
“And I would like to be a man of stronger faith, but it’s something that we must work for,” he said, believing it wholeheartedly.
David glanced away for a moment and saw that the Reverend St. Claire was watching the two of them together. He took in a sharp breath but returned his attention to Clementine.
Maybe if the Reverend saw the two of them together, it would discourage him from continuing to push his daughter onto David. Maybe Reverend St. Claire would begin to realize and understand that David simply wasn’t interested in his daughter, after all.
He felt a little bit bad, having to make it clear this way, but the Reverend had not made this easy on him. It was always a challenge, trying to prove that he wasn’t interested. And even that morning, Chelsea had given him that apologetic look, as if to warn him that it wasn’t over yet.
David noticed, suddenly, that Clementine had stopped talking and was looking between him and the Reverend. She understood that there was something passing between the two of them.
“Has he still been trying to get you to court his daughter?” she asked.
“Not as openly,” he replied, keeping his voice low.
“I saw Chelsea yesterday and she told me that he still refused Hank. Even after Hank when and spoke with him and was so kind and honest,” Clementine said.
David nodded. He had spoken with Hank later that day after he had gone into town to talk with Reverend St. Claire. It had not gone overly well, but at least the two were at peace.
Hank had said that the Reverend kept alluding to something that Hank had written him, but when asked for further explanation, the Reverend hadn’t said much else.
It was sad to see his new friend going through all of this. A Reverend of all people should see the value that Hank possessed, even if he did have worries for his own daughter.
“Has anyone ever told you that your nostrils flare when you’re thinking too hard?” Clementine asked him, a laugh imprinted across her face.
David turned to her for a moment and looked at her with surprise before he burst out into laughter.