That’s my girl, Alex texted back. Lauren smiled, loving his pride in Viv.
“Home run!” Joe hollered.
Viv threw her arms in the air in a little V of victory. She snagged the bat and handed it to Lauren. “Mommy turn.”
Joe sucked in an audible breath.
“Thanks, Princess Kei-Kei,” Lauren said, taking the bat. “Looks like it’s Super L’s turn.”
Viv nodded.
Lauren hit the ball and it took off in a nice arc. She jogged around the tree bases and Viv ran with her. They double high-fived back at home plate.
Joe joined them and said, “My turn. Viv, go long. This is going to be a homer.” As soon as Viv was out of earshot, he said quietly to Lauren, “Did Alex hear her call you mommy?”
“Yes. I corrected her. Sometimes my students call me that if they’re tired. I guess I just have that maternal quality.”
“Yeah.” He studied her for so long she felt like squirming. “I guess you do.”
After an hour of sports, including basketball with a mini-net on a stand, they headed back inside for a drink and snack. Lauren put Viv in her high chair and filled her sippy cup with fresh water from the sink while Joe got out some Goldfish crackers for her and put them in a bowl. Viv fell asleep right in the middle of eating crackers. Her mouth hung open with bits of chewed-up crackers, her head resting on the side of the high chair. Joe swept a finger in, clearing out the remaining crackers from Viv’s mouth, and leaned back the high chair seat to let her sleep.
“Does she fall asleep in the middle of eating like that a lot?” Lauren asked. She’d never seen a kid fall asleep mid-snack before. She snapped a picture. “For Alex,” she explained, sending the picture with the caption: Power nap!
“She naps after sports,” Joe said. “I think eating is one of those rare times where she’s still. Catches up to her. Plus she feels comfortable here with me.”
She took a sip of ice water. “So, how are things with you? Still working part-time?” She knew he was a security guard since retiring as a cop.
“I am. It’s just for pocket money. I’ve got a full pension from my old job.”
“Do you miss being a cop?”
He dipped his head. “It’s a younger man’s game, but I liked it when I was. You always want to be a teacher?”
“Oh, yes. I was a nanny every summer through high school and college, but I couldn’t wait to have a whole classroom of my own full of kids.”
“You grow up in a big family?”
“No, just me, my mom, and my sister. But my sister is ten years younger, so I felt more like a mom to her.” He nodded and he was such an attentive listener, she went on. “My parents divorced and my dad moved to Vermont to be with his new family. I saw him on school breaks.”
“I didn’t have a large family until I had my own,” Joe confided. “I love it, though. Love kids. We have that in common.”
She nodded. “That must be why Alex is so good with Viv. He took after your example.”
Joe sipped his water and glanced at Viv still sound asleep. He turned back to her. “He’s doing great.” He lowered his voice. “I think he’d do better if he let go of the guilt.”
“You mean survivor’s guilt?” she whispered.
He stood and gestured for her to follow to the adjoining living room. He stopped at a spot where he could keep an eye on Viv before saying, “Tammy didn’t want the baby. It was an accident. Honestly, I’m surprised it didn’t happen before it did. Both Alex and Tammy were wild, living the bohemian artist life in the city. Anyway, Alex wanted his child. Very much. He offered to marry her and promised he’d do most of the child care if she’d keep the baby.”
She stared at him, unsure why he was telling her all this. “Of course he’d want his child. Anyone could see you’ve raised him to have a strong sense of family.”
Joe pinned her with his eyes. “When Tammy died, Alex blamed himself since he was the one that convinced her to go through with the pregnancy. He has tremendous guilt over her death. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he won’t hear it. He’s like superdad trying to make up for her loss. I’m afraid he’s going to crash and burn.” He turned back to Viv. “No one can be superdad forever.”
Her heart squeezed painfully hard. All this time she’d thought Alex’s pain was sorrow over losing his fiancée, but it was so much worse than that. Blaming himself for her death, something completely out of his control, just because he wanted the baby more than Tammy did. Tammy must’ve wanted Viv at least a little to go through with it. No man was that persuasive.
“How can I help?” she asked.
Joe spared her a glance before turning back to Viv. “Just be a friend. When he’s ready, he’ll move on from it. It helps that you’re so good with Viv, takes some of the pressure off him.”
She let out a breath. “Good. I’m glad I could do that at least.”
“It’s good you’re friends of the family now. It’ll give Viv some continuity.” He pinned her with his eyes again. “She won’t have to lose you after the summer.”
So that was what this was all about. He wanted to make sure Viv wouldn’t be abandoned. “Absolutely. I’d love to visit on the weekends and breaks.”
Joe grinned. “You’re on the list. Birthdays, holidays, barbecues, you’re in.”
“Thank you, that’s sweet. Alex and Viv are lucky to have you.”
He smiled warmly, still a handsome man. Alex looked a lot like him. “I could say the same to you too.”
She felt herself blushing.
“You want something to eat? I’ve got fresh blueberries.”
“I’d love some.”
She followed him back to the kitchen. He retrieved the bowl of washed blueberries from the refrigerator and set them on the table. “Help yourself.”
She took a handful and he did the same. She looked over at Viv and smiled. She looked like an angel when she slept.
“You’re much sweeter than he’s used to,” Joe said. “Don’t let him steamroll you.”
Her head snapped back to Joe. “Oh, no. Alex has been very respectful. He even wrote up a contract for both of our benefit.”
“He did, huh?”
“Yes. He’s had some trouble with nannies in the past, so he made sure everything was nice and clear, hours, pay, all that stuff.” She left out when she’d reassured him he didn’t have to worry about any untoward advances from her. Not that she’d ever made an advance in her life. Men generally made the moves on her, not the other way around. And she was definitely not going to make any advances on Alex after he’d so clearly drawn the line between them. Though part of her wondered what that would feel like, would he pull away or would passion take over, his ravenous need—
Joe interrupted her spiral of out-of-control longing. “Yeah, Viv can be a handful. You just have to keep her energy focused or she’ll find her own fun.”
“Found that out after one day,” she said with a laugh.
He ate some blueberries. “She’ll try your patience, but once you get to know her, you can’t help but love her.”
“Agreed.”
“Can I give you a little advice?”
“Sure,” she said, figuring he’d have some good tips on Viv.
“Alex will resist you, dig his heels in. He won’t want to change the way he does things, but you push through that because he needs it. He needs to change things up. He can’t keep going the way he has.”
Her brows scrunched in confusion. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
Joe leaned forward. “I mean when he puts up a wall, you push through it.”
“What kind of wall?” She had an uneasy feeling he meant more than her responsibilities toward Viv.
He leaned back. “You’ll know it when you see it.”
She nodded, though she was still a little uncertain. “I’ll do my best.” She popped a blueberry in her mouth and chewed, telling herself she was imagining things. Joe wasn’t picturing anything between
her and Alex. For sure, Alex wasn’t. Besides, she should be focusing on this weekend’s singles mixer at Marcus’s bar. “So you got any dirt on Ethan, Ben, and Marcus?”
He grinned. “I got dirt on all three of them. Why?”
“Hailey invited them to meet us at Marcus’s bar. Part of her Make Love Bloom (TM) service. I do online dating too, but this is more like a speed round to check for sparks.”
Joe cleared his throat. “Uh-huh. What about the rest of the guys?”
“They couldn’t make it.”
“Well, which one are you interested in?”
She lifted one shoulder up and down. “I don’t know. I’m supposed to talk to all of them one-on-one and then report back if there’s a spark.”
Joe chuckled. “Sure is different than dating in my day. Your friends going with you?”
She nodded and took a sip of water. “Everyone except Mad and Charlotte, they’re not single anymore.” She’d invited them anyway, but they wanted to hang with their guys. She kinda missed them, even though she still saw them at book club and post-book club drinks. She hoped once they all moved on with the next phase in their lives—marriage and kids—they’d still be as close as they were now. She’d make every effort to keep them close. Their kids should all grow up together. And wouldn’t it be nice to live within walking distance? Maybe even the same street. Now she was just being silly. Not everything worked out like her favorite sweet TV show Cherry Blossom Lane. Joe interrupted her fairy-tale thoughts.
“What if one of your friends has a, um, spark before you do?” he asked.
She waved that away. “If it’s meant to be, it will be. Anyway, if there’s any dirt you’d like to share ahead of time, it would really help me out. I’d like to move forward with a suitable candidate sooner rather than later.” She laughed. “Or as Hailey says, for my happy ending. You know how she likes to help out.”
He chuckled. “That she does.” And then he proceeded to dish the dirt on all three guys.
Lauren frowned, her hopes taking a spectacular dive. She thought about cancelling altogether, but feared it was rude after all the effort Hailey put into organizing the event. Apparently, Ethan was a sex addict, which was definitely not relationship material! Ben refused to ever get married because he thought the whole institution was “the man” keeping him down. And Marcus, my goodness, Marcus already had a harem of girlfriends. He didn’t believe in monogamy.
She shook her head. “I had no idea.”
Joe smiled gently. “Hang in there. I’m sure you’ll meet someone decent. Just not those guys.”
She realized Joe had done her a huge favor with his honesty. “Thank you. You’ve saved me a lot of heartache and terribly dashed hopes.”
He chuckled and took a long drink of water. Was it her terribly dashed hopes that made him chuckle? She’d read that once in a book and thought it fit the occasion. Though it was rude of him to laugh. Maybe he was pulling her leg with all that dirt.
“Is something funny?” she asked.
“Nothing,” he muttered, his glass up to his mouth. He set it down and quickly stood. “Keep an eye on Viv for me for a few minutes.” He strode out of the room.
She sighed. Well, she supposed it was better to be in the know. She had asked for the dirt. It was just a shame not to have any hopeful anticipation for her big night out. She’d have to warn her friends off those three men too. Ugh. Dating sucked.
She thought of Alex taking himself off the market and it sure sounded like he had the right idea. Except Alex already had a beautiful child. She’d have to continue wading through the murky dating waters if she was ever going to get the same.
She gazed at a napping angelic Viv and smiled. She pulled out her cell and took a smiling selfie next to Viv, texting it to Alex with the caption, Nanny 2 Viv = best job ever.
Alex texted back. Thanks for all the pics. You want to bring her home now?
Sure. Let me just say bye to your dad. We had a nice talk.
Was he talking about me?
She hesitated. Shit. She shouldn’t have mentioned the talk. Joe had shared intimate details that Alex might not be happy about.
She quickly texted. Nothing bad.
Don’t listen to a word he says. He’s like Josh, calculating, always with a plan.
Her fingers flew over the keys. Your dad is a sweetheart. So’s Josh. (Mostly anyway, she added silently. Josh was less than sweet with Hailey.)
You got the hots for my dad?
She rolled her eyes and then texted: Yes, Alex, I’m going to be your new mom. She slapped a hand over her mouth. His mom had left when he was little. She knew the family history from his sister, Mad. And then with Viv being motherless and calling her mommy, there was just nothing funny about a mom joke.
No response from Alex.
She texted again. Sorry. That was in poor taste. I probably shouldn’t text.
Silence.
Her stomach dropped. She’d upset him. She felt sick. She was supposed to be helping him. Another text popped up from Alex.
Text me anytime.
He forgave her. Oh, thank God. She texted back, I will. She smiled at the phone, even though he couldn’t see her, and texted again. How come you didn’t ask if I had the hots for Josh?
Josh would chew you up and spit you out.
Nice.
Fact. You’re too sweet for him.
Geez, first Joe and then Alex said she was sweet like it was a bad thing. Just because she was kind didn’t mean she let men walk all over her. She had her dignity. She had boundaries and pride and self-respect. All that good stuff. She tried to formulate a firm, but nonconfrontational response, but Joe returned, so she tucked her phone away.
She stood. “I’m going to get Viv back home.”
“Sure thing,” Joe said easily. “Thanks for stopping by.”
She carefully lifted Viv out of the high chair, still sound asleep.
Joe kissed the top of Viv’s head. “You should check out the new Spray Bay they have over in Fieldridge at the rec center. It’s just sprinklers and sprayers, perfect for her age.”
“I heard about that. I’ll check with Alex, thanks.”
She returned to Alex’s house with a number of rehearsed lines that spoke to the fact that just because she was sweet, she wasn’t a pushover. Viv woke up when she pulled in the driveway. She carried her anyway because Viv was still a little groggy.
She rang the doorbell and the door swung open to a smiling Alex. “I’m so sorry about my stupid mom joke,” she blurted.
“You’re forgiven,” he said, taking Viv from her arms and tucking her against his chest. He gazed down at Viv with so much love in his eyes, Lauren’s eyes stung and her throat clogged with emotion.
All of her carefully rehearsed lines about herself flew from her mind. She melted on the spot. She had to fight the impulse to hug them both, to join in their lovefest. Viv rested her head on her dad’s chest and popped her thumb in her mouth.
He lifted his head and met Lauren’s eyes. “I’m getting you a key to the house.”
“Thank you,” she said over the lump in her throat.
“Everything okay?” Alex asked.
She nodded and that was all she could manage because she’d just realized she was longing for what she could never have. Alex had Viv and that was all he needed.
Chapter Nine
By Thursday Alex was all caught up on sleep and making fantastic progress on the book covers. Lauren had taken Viv for a picnic lunch and a visit to the new Spray Bay in Fieldridge, the next town over. She’d texted a picture of Viv looking thrilled to hold a huge slice of watermelon. That had made him smile. Viv probably didn’t remember eating watermelon last summer. And even though Lauren explained she was putting her cell in the waterproof tote so she could be with Viv in the water, the lack of communication made him feel like he was missing something important. He’d been there for all of Viv’s new experiences. This was the first time she’d been to a water pl
ayground and, though he knew she was in good hands and knew he needed to work to pay the bills, it still made him depressed to miss out. He would’ve shown up there if Lauren hadn’t taken his car. Lauren had texted when they were ready to head home. He’d been waiting impatiently ever since.
As soon as Lauren pulled into the driveway, he went outside to meet up with them. Lauren stepped out, giving him a sunny smile and a wave. She looked tan and happy.
“How was it?” he asked, already on his way to get Viv from her booster seat.
“We had a great time,” Lauren said, joining him by the passenger side. She smelled like the beach—sunscreen, fresh air, and a sunny day.
He gave himself a mental shake, opened the door for Viv, and poked his head in the backseat. “Hi, Viv!”
“Daddy!” She beamed her little baby-toothed smile and held out her arms to him.
His little sunshine was back.
Her hair was still wet in crooked pigtails, no sunburn that he could see. Lauren did a good job. A deep sense of contentment washed through him as he lifted Viv out and held her in his arms. “Did you have fun in the water?”
“Yes! And Kaitlin and sprinkler and flower and ice cream and babble, babble.” She was exuberantly excited and he couldn’t keep up with what she was trying to tell him.
Lauren interpreted, smiling at Viv. “She made a new friend Kaitlin. She’s three and they held hands and played in all the sprinklers. Some of them were flower sprinklers.”
He headed back to the house, still holding Viv because he’d missed her, and Lauren kept up, filling him in on what he’d missed.
“There were also multiple pipes in all directions where water came out, buckets that tipped water out, and a couple of dolphins spouting water. We got them ice cream from the ice-cream truck afterwards. I made plans to meet up with Kaitlin’s mom there again tomorrow if that’s okay.”
“Yeah,” he muttered. “Of course.” He turned to Viv. “Sounds like a great day. Wish I had been there.”
Viv patted his cheek. “Daddy go.”
He smiled. “I will. But don’t you squirt me with water.”
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