His expression was intense just like before he’d kissed her to orgasm. “Maybe you’re the one who’s ravenous.”
“Mmm,” she said noncommittally to the windshield. It was hard to argue the point when her panties were soaked and her lips still tingled from his rough kisses.
He cupped her jaw and turned her toward him. His voice was deep velvet that wrapped around her. “C’mere, kiss me again. I have a theory.”
Her heart thudded against her chest. She couldn’t move.
Their gazes locked.
He waited.
She waited.
Heat shimmered between them.
Part of her wanted to throw herself into his arms; part of her said to refuse him. She’d screwed up earlier, throwing her perfectly valid reason for resisting him out the window. She didn’t want to do it again. It would be so easy to give in, to let the fire between them take over. But then what? She’d be the one burnt from the flames.
“Okay,” he said quietly, dropping his hand and starting the car.
She sank back against her seat and let out a shaky breath. Alex pulled out of the lot and put on the radio to an edgy alternative station, the lyrics harsh, explicit, the beat fast. That was who he was, she told herself. She was soft rock; he was edgy alternative.
“What’s up with Carrie and the forbidden?” he asked, a smile in his voice.
She was so relieved to get out of her own lusty head, she laughed. “It’s silly. Just a fantasy romance thing. The kind of stuff we read in book club, but she went a little overboard.”
“What else do you read in book club? Tell me your favorites.”
She warmed to the topic. She loved romance, the life-affirming happy ever after. It filled her with hope and happiness. She blabbed on and on, telling him all her favorites and why. She was especially partial to the Fierce trilogy, as was everyone in book club, it was by Julia Marino, a former book club member (also turned into a movie). The hero had been a true alpha in every sense of the word. Of course, she left out the erotic scenes, instead sharing the hero’s utter devotion to the heroine. She didn’t want to make things awkward now that they were chatting like friends again.
She asked him about his work, his favorite projects, and what medium he enjoyed the most. He loved sketching and digital painting best, especially full-color covers and illustrations for picture books. She was so happy to be back on safer ground, the ride home just flew by.
“So you’re in Clover Park, right?” he asked once they crossed into Connecticut.
“Yes. The apartment complex by the edge of town bordering on Eastman.”
“And you work there too. That’s convenient.”
“Yeah. I’m saving up for a house. Though I can’t complain about the commute. When the weather’s nice, I bike to work.”
“I got that beat,” he said. “I just roll out of bed, take ten steps, and I’m there.”
She laughed. “True.”
She gave him a few more directions and he parked in the lot in front of her building. “I’m just upstairs on the second floor,” she said. Before she could thank him for the ride, he was already out the door, walking around to her side, and opening her door. The gentleman was back.
She stepped outside.
He shut the car door behind her. “I was raised to walk the woman to the door and make sure she gets in safe.” He grinned. “You can blame my dad for beating gentlemanly manners into me.”
She laughed and even to her ears it sounded nervous and high-pitched. The truth was she still wanted him and was very tempted to pull him inside her apartment. “Okay.”
He put a hand on the small of her back, singeing her bare skin with his touch. They headed upstairs.
“You have a roommate?” he asked.
Her brain translated that to I hope we can be alone, making her knees wobble and her heart race. “Yes. Me and my two cats.”
He flashed a smile. “Okay if I come in? It’s my first Viv-free night and I’m not ready to turn in.”
Translation: let’s fuck like animals.
Her stomach did a few flips. “Probably not a good idea.” It’s a great idea! her orgasm-loving parts screamed at her, basically all of her minus the tiny still-functioning part of her brain.
“Just to talk. Or we could watch a movie.”
Translation: I want you to feel comfortable before I fuck you.
She tried very hard to think it through, her brain still sluggish with the lust running high between them. She must’ve been thinking too long because he spoke in a much gentler tone.
“Did I come on too strong before?”
She was quiet for a moment because he had, but she’d liked it. “It’s okay, really. I was just surprised.”
“I’m out of practice,” he said flatly.
“Mmm-hmm,” she said because she had no idea how to explain where she was at right now, both wanting him and trying very hard to resist him. They reached her apartment. “I’m pretty tired so…” She let him fill in the blank and turned from him, facing the door and pulling out her key. “Good night.”
“Lauren.” His voice was low and deep, weakening her resolve. “Give me another chance to do this right.”
She swallowed, seriously torn.
She slowly turned to face him. His expression was clear in the light by her front door—a dark hunger, ravenous. She shivered. “See you on Monday.”
She whirled and dropped her keys. He scooped them up, unlocked the door for her, placed the keys back in her hand, and held the door open. “See you Monday,” he said.
She rushed inside and leaned back against the door, feeling like she’d just run a marathon, breathing hard, shaky, and weak. She slowly sank to the floor. She did the right thing. She didn’t want to be a late night booty call. She wanted to feel special. His words rang through her head, give me another chance to do this right.
She hadn’t given him a chance.
It was either the smartest or stupidest thing she’d ever done in her life.
~ ~ ~
Lauren got through the week working for Alex with boundaries firmly in place. She took care of Viv at his house every morning while he worked in his studio, they all had lunch together, and she took Viv out in the afternoons. No problem at all. Except not. Because things had changed between them, an awareness and tension in the air. Sometimes she’d catch an unguarded look in Alex’s eyes—pure carnal hunger. Her body got the message, flushing with heat, damp between the legs. And that was just from a look. She wasn’t sure how much longer she could resist him. Part of her said just go for it, put them both out of their misery, but then the more rational part said to be smart about Alex. He wasn’t there yet. Maybe he never would be.
Hailey texted multiple times that week, urging Lauren to go on another date from the online service this coming weekend. But Lauren was too conflicted over Alex to go back to the original plan. She felt so stuck—not ready to go forward with more blind dates, not sure if there was a way forward with Alex. At least not one that didn’t involve her tender heart getting crushed.
Fortunately, her weekend plans fell into place easily on Saturday morning. She’d texted Carrie about spending the afternoon at Grand Lake in Clover Park. And she was excited to go. The lake was surrounded by trees with a nice beach perfect for relaxing on the sand. Not five minutes later, Mr. Campbell, Joe, she reminded herself, called and invited her to a family barbecue on Sunday. She was satisfied with that. She’d get some relaxing time and she’d get some time to observe Alex in his natural habitat, get to know him a little better and feel out the situation. It wasn’t so easy to have an adult conversation with Alex when Viv was around. She figured a family barbecue would provide plenty of adults to entertain Viv.
Saturday afternoon Lauren found Carrie already set up on the sand, relaxing on a beach lounger, wearing a modest sky blue one-piece bathing suit and a large floppy hat that nearly met the huge sunglasses that fit over her glasses. Her bright blond hair fell in
soft layers just past her jaw, one lock stuck to the thick layer of sunscreen on her cheek. Carrie slathered herself in sunscreen because her pale skin was prone to sunburn. She was, as usual on their beach days, enjoying a Yoo-hoo chocolate drink. A cooler sat near her feet.
“Hey, girlie,” Lauren said, unfurling her extra-large beach towel next to her friend’s chair.
“Hey!” Carrie exclaimed. “I’d hug you, but I’m slippery with sunscreen.” She gave her an air kiss and pulled the hair away from her sticky cheek. “Yoo-hoo?”
Lauren stashed her sunglasses in her purse, took off her T-shirt and shorts, and sat on the towel in her usual bikini. “No, thanks. Maybe later.” She slid her sunglasses back on and stretched out her legs, leaning back on her elbows.
“Sunscreen?” Carrie offered.
“I’m going to soak in some rays first.” She tilted her head up to the sun, relaxing in the warmth.
“So how’s things?” Carrie asked.
“Things are good.”
“Any more sketching happening over at Casa Campbell?”
She’d kept the carnal kiss to herself all week because she wasn’t sure what to do about it, but she couldn’t keep it in any longer. She sat up to whisper, “He kissed me ravenously.”
Carrie shot straight up in her seat. “Omigod! I’m so jealous! Good for you!”
“You’re jealous?”
Carrie grabbed Lauren’s arm. “Are you kidding me? The forbidden romance! Tell me everything.” She flopped back in her lounger and took a long chug of Yoo-hoo.
“Um, okay. It’s not forbidden.”
“He’s your boss,” Carrie said with great enthusiasm.
Lauren grabbed a hair band from her purse and pulled her hair up. “It’s just a temp summer job. There’s nothing forbidden, trust me.”
“So how was it?”
Orgasmic.
Lauren took a deep breath before admitting, “Overwhelming.”
“Yeah?” Carrie said eagerly.
“Yeah.” She sat cross-legged and closed her eyes, listening to the happy sounds of children playing, the soft lapping of the water on shore, the slight rustle of a breeze through the surrounding trees. Carrie interrupted her Zen moment.
“Anything else?” Carrie whispered. “What position did you do? Did you sixty-nine?”
Lauren’s eyes flew open. “Geez, Carrie! I said he kissed me not fucked me.” She normally didn’t speak so crudely without a few drinks in her, but Carrie went there first.
Carrie raised her sunglasses and peered at her with wide blue eyes through her black-framed glasses. “Sorry, I got excited.”
She nudged Carrie’s shoulder and then had to wipe the sunscreen off her fingers on the back of her neck. “It’s fine. Now I’m not sure what to do.” She lowered her voice. “He’s been celibate for two years.”
Carrie dropped her sunglasses back in place. “That’s an effing long time.”
“It is, but then what, you know?” Lauren confided in a whisper. “I’m just not sure he’s into me, like, as a person, not just as a convenient…fuck.” And it wasn’t like Alex had tried to seduce her, he’d even checked to be sure she was okay after their kiss, which was sweet. The problem was she couldn’t stop thinking about how much erotic promise that one kiss held. Scorching passion that had swept her off her feet in a way she’d always dreamed would happen and never did.
Carrie nodded sagely. “I get it. Like, oh, there’s the nanny I see all the time, let’s hit that.”
“Exactly!” People didn’t appreciate what came easy to them. She flushed, her own thoughts striking her as much dirtier than usual. Came easy, came hard, it was all so much to miss out on.
“I’d still go for it,” Carrie said. “He’s hot for you, you’re hot for him, wham-bam, thank you, sir!” She saluted.
Lauren shook her head. “It’s more complicated because he’s a dad and he’s grieving Tammy.”
“Yeah, that was terrible what happened.”
Lauren sighed. “The timing is bad. This was supposed to be my summer to find Mr. Right. Hailey’s been working her ass off to find someone for me. I wish I could meet Alex in the future once his head’s on straight, his eyes are clear, and his heart is open.”
“Too late. You already met him and like him. Plus if you met Mr. Right this summer, then meeting Alex in the future is moot.”
“You’re right. I just wish things were—” she waved her hand around, searching for the right word “—I don’t know, simpler. I turned down one of Hailey’s setup dates this weekend because I can’t decide what to do about Alex.”
Carrie took another slug of Yoo-hoo. She handed the bottle to Lauren to hold while she pulled out a small bag of potato chips from her cooler, offering some to Lauren. She shook her head and Carrie took one for herself.
“I’ll see him tomorrow,” Lauren confided. “His dad invited me to a family barbecue. I thought it might help to get to know him a little better.”
“Yeah, maybe his brothers will tell you all his embarrassing stories.”
“I don’t want to embarrass him. I just want to get to know him in a different way.”
They were quiet for a few moments. Lauren started fretting again. What if she got to know Alex, fell hard for him (she was already leaning that way), and then they weren’t on the same page. What if it was a hopeless cause?
Carrie lifted her drink. “I swear on this Yoo-hoo I’ll have a fling with the next bad boy I meet.”
Clearly all those forbidden romances had addled Carrie’s brain. She was usually so, well, demure. Not uptight, but definitely not this blatant about wanting to get her some. “You don’t want a bad boy in real life. You want someone that will treat you nice.”
Carrie flashed a smile. “Like Alex.”
“He’s not that nice,” she admitted. Alex could be rough and aggressive, not the kind of nice mild-mannered guy she was used to. “But he’s not a bad boy either. He’s a responsible parent.”
Carrie grabbed her arm. “What’d he do?” she asked with a note of alarm.
Lauren squeezed her friend’s hand, loving that Carrie was so supportive and caring. “Nothing bad. He’s just a little rough around the edges.”
“I want that,” Carrie said in a low voice. “Just use me up, wring me out, limp noodle, goodbye!”
“What is with you lately?” Lauren asked. “You’re starting to worry me.”
Carrie chomped on a chip. “My eyes are finally open. I had no idea how repressed Edward was.” That was her ex. She leaned close and whispered, “Do you know he never went down on me? Six years!”
“Sorry,” Lauren said sympathetically. She’d bet good money the reverse wasn’t true. Edward sounded like a selfish loser, but she kept that to herself. Carrie was already upset enough with what she felt she’d missed out on.
Carrie took some more chips, her hand rustling around in the bag. “That’s number one on my bad-boy list. I’ve got all these things I’ve never tried.”
“How many things are on the list?”
“So far three, but I just started it last night. I’m going to add at least ten more. Lucky thirteen! Then the next bad boy I meet, I’ll hand over the list and wait to be ravished.”
Lauren laughed. “I don’t think bad boys follow lists.”
“Oh.” Carrie’s shoulders drooped. “Really?”
“I don’t know. I’m just guessing. I would think they’d rebel against that kind of direction.”
“Hmm,” Carrie said around a potato chip. “No offense, but you’re a woman. I need to ask a guy if it would work.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s inappropriate,” Lauren said patiently. “Text me the list and I’ll give you my thoughts. It’ll be just between us.” Honestly, it was the only way to save Carrie from herself. The road to bad boys was littered with good girls.
“How’s that going to help me out with a bad boy?” Carrie asked.
Carrie shook her head and ate some more chips. “I’m so glad I checked in with you, Laur, that could’ve been super embarrassing.”
“No problem,” Lauren said. She reclined on her towel, soaking in the sun, her body warm and relaxed. She’d nearly drifted off when Carrie startled her.
“Ack!” And then, “Oh no, oh no, oh no.”
Lauren sat up. “What’s wrong?”
“I just texted my bedroom list to my neighbor Larry! He’s right next to you in my contacts! He’s eighty! I’m his in-case-of-emergency person!”
Lauren cracked up. “You might’ve just caused an emergency—heart attack.”
Carrie texted furiously, her thumbs flying. “One word for you, Laur, karma.”
She promptly shut up. She leaned over and pulled her cell from her purse. A text from Alex. It was a picture of Viv, her hand on a sheep, a big grin on her face. The caption said: She wanted you to see.
Her heart squeezed. She already loved Viv so much, such an amazing little girl. She quickly texted: Viv, that is so awesome! Give the sheep a pat from me.
Alex: She wants me to get you here right now. She has no sense of time. We’re at the Bronx Zoo. Wish you were here.
She suddenly wished she was there too, but the Bronx Zoo was more than an hour away.
Alex: Don’t worry about it. We’re leaving soon.
She felt like she’d missed out.
Lauren: Have fun!
Just when she thought she’d gotten herself settled down, she was all worked up again. She didn’t want to miss out on these important moments with Viv. But she had no right. That wasn’t where she and Alex were at. They weren’t a family. She was going to miss out on Viv stuff for a while, maybe forever. Her heart sank.
Karma was a sneaky bitch.
Chapter Thirteen
Formal Arrangement Page 14