“All right.”
The door opened and closed. Sighing, she stood and pressed her foot into the flusher even though she hadn’t used the toilet, she’d accumulated a glob of tear and makeup stained tissue. She unlatched the stall and gasped. Finn stood on the inside of the door waiting for her.
“You were crying.”
She turned her face and quickly washed her hands. “No, I wasn’t.”
When she reached for a towel he was behind her, watching her in the mirror. His expression was a mixture of concern and regret. Yeah, get used to it, Finnegan McCullough. That’s what happens when you hang out with someone like me.
“Why are you still here?” she snapped. Dear God, what if she actually had been using the bathroom.
He stepped closer and her breath stuttered in her lungs. “Nothing that guy said was true,” he whispered.
Uh, yeah, it was. “He’s a jerk. I’m used to it. I couldn’t give two shits about what people like him think or say.”
His brow lowered and he studied her as if weighing the sincerity of her words. “You’re beautiful, Mallory. Don’t let anyone tell you differently.”
The same tightening she always got in her chest when a friend lied to her clamped down on her heart. “Thanks. Let’s go back out there.”
He caught her arm and she stilled. Her focus latched on those large fingers wrapped around her skin. Her gaze darted to his eyes. He shook his head and drew her back to the sinks. His hands caught her shoulders as he turned her toward the mirror. “Look at yourself. See what everyone else sees.”
She scowled at her reflection, hating it. She did see what everyone else saw. That was the problem. Every time she caught her reflection in a store window or in a picture she hadn’t known was taken, she broke a little bit more.
There was no missing the way her face was too round and her breasts were too big for any proper-fitting bra. Her stomach wasn’t flat and her shirts didn’t always hide the unsightly bulges. The only thing that made her happy with that mirror was the fact that it wasn’t full length.
“I see it, Finnegan. Now let’s go.” She moved to turn and his grip tightened.
“No.”
“Finnegan—”
“Really look, Mallory. Look at your eyes. They’re the prettiest blue I’ve ever seen. And your lips are full and always the perfect shade of pink. You’re hair is thick and always smells like flowers. Your skin is softer than silk. Yes, you’re curvy, but who ever said that was a bad thing?”
“I’m not curvy. I’m fat.”
“Stop calling yourself that!”
“It’s what I am!”
“Why?” He jerked her shoulders. “Because some doctor showed you a chart? It’s an ugly fucking word and I’m sick of hearing you use it to describe yourself. So what if you have some weight you want to lose? We all want to improve ourselves in some way.”
“Yeah, well, I wasn’t the one insulting myself tonight. It was that guy out there. There’s always someone judging me, seeing the things you clearly don’t.”
“I see them, Mallory. I just…I don’t see them as flaws. This is who you are.”
No! It’s not! In her dreams, she was always skinny. This was not how she imagined herself. It was like she was trapped in a body she hated. She desperately wanted to shed the mask. She was light and airy and easygoing. The outside package matched nothing on her inside.
“This may be who I am, but I won’t be like this for long.”
His eyes closed for a brief moment. “Did you ever think that maybe you’re just built this way? I’m not saying you should give up on all your exercise, but what if you change your BMI and shed a few pounds? You aren’t built like a little boy. Why is that a bad thing?”
She’d long ago gotten bikinis and short-shorts out of her head. Her expectations were realistic. She was aiming for one-seventy, not one-seventeen. Chances were, she’d always be of the rounded variety. “It doesn’t matter. It makes no difference what you see, or I see, or what all the assholes out there see. I’m sick of being me and I’m done talking about this.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re you.”
She narrowed her eyes. How could he be glad about something that made her so miserable? “Thanks,” she said, none too nice.
He released her shoulders and stepped back. “Do you want to go somewhere else?”
She wanted to go home and hit the reset button on the day. “I think I’m ready to call it a night.”
He nodded. She followed him back to the table and they squared up the bill after she threatened him when he wouldn’t take her money. She left it on the table. It was either going to him or the waitress.
They drove home in silence. When he parked she just sat there, too tired to move. “Did you get hurt?” she asked, thinking she should have asked that an hour ago. It wasn’t often—or ever—someone punched someone in her defense.
“No. He’s seen better days, though.”
She laughed without much humor. “There’ll be others. You can’t go around punching people every time someone insults me.”
“Why not?”
“Um, because you’ll go to jail.”
“It’d be worth it.”
“Finn—”
He shifted so he fully faced her. “Don’t. I’m done with listening to you put yourself down and acting like you deserve less respect than everyone else. Done, Mallory. Do you understand? Done.”
She swallowed. “Yes. Sorry.” She faced the dark windshield. “Did you want to come in and watch some TV or something?”
“No.”
His clipped reply cut her to the quick. “Okay.” Her hand went to the door.
“I don’t want to come in because I don’t want to watch TV with you.”
Her shoulders hunched as she tried to curl into herself, curl away from his rejection. Her fingers tightened on the latch as she breathed out some form of a reply and nodded.
“I want to kiss you and touch you, but you don’t want that, and I’m not sure I can keep acting like I feel the same.”
Her entire body froze. What did he just say? Ally’s words played in her head and she battled to find some form of truth or motive.
“I like you, Mallory. I know you don’t feel the same, but you’re my friend and I can’t lie to you. When we were dancing tonight all I wanted to do was kiss that smile off your face. It’s getting difficult to stand upright when I’m around you.”
She choked on her objection. “What?”
“I get that you just want to be friends, but I just thought you should know…it’s how I feel.”
Her neck twisted until she was facing him. There was no sarcasm in his expression. “If this is some method of getting over Erin—”
“It has nothing to do with Erin and everything to do with you.”
“You’re just horny.”
He scowled at her. “Don’t do that. Don’t tell me what I’m feeling. I’ve been feeling this way for weeks and when I realized you didn’t feel the same I tried to excuse it as something else. Trust me. It’s not. It’s you.”
“Wh—why?”
He shrugged. “I just…want you.”
He wants you. No one has ever said those words. Her breath came out in a slow, jagged release. “Finn, I…You see someone I don’t know. The real me isn’t that. We’re friends. I couldn’t bear losing our friendship because we let our feelings cloud our better judgment.”
His gaze snapped to hers. “Our feelings?”
“Yours, mine, whatever. I’m just saying—”
“Are you attracted to me?” he interrupted.
She stuttered. “I…you’re obviously handsome.” The side of his mouth slowly curved, producing the cutest dimple she’d ever seen. “But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re better off as friends.”
He picked up her hand and when she tried to pull it back to her lap his fingers tightened. Whatever she’d been about to say fled her mind as he scooted closer and tucked her ha
ir behind her ear. “I want to kiss you, Mallory, and I’m going to. You give me one minute and then I’ll decide if I believe your line of bullshit about us being better off as friends.”
“Finn—”
“Shh…” His mouth lowered toward hers and she stiffened. Gentle pulls of lips slowly had her body softening, but her conscience always crept back in to remind her that enjoying his touch was a mistake. She kept her mouth closed and her eyes open.
His head tilted and his hand gently landed over her eyes. “Clock doesn’t start until you kiss me back, Philly,” he whispered against her lips.
She made a soft sound of protest and shut her eyes against the weight of his palm then tilted her head. His hand slipped beneath her ear and around the back of her neck, drawing her in. His scent was all over her as he shifted closer.
When his tongue gently traced over the seam of her lips, she whimpered.
“Let me in,” he rasped and she opened.
His mouth sealed over hers, opening and closing softly. She’d been kissed before and done a number of other things, but never could she recall ever being kissed like this. This was no prelude to fucking. This was an event in and of itself.
Finn’s hand sifted through her hair and goose bumps chased down her arms. Warm, buttery sensations unfurled in her belly and she sighed. His tongue teased and tangled with hers and the next thing she knew she was practically reclining against the truck door. The handle dug into her back, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered as long as he continued to kiss her that way.
“Jesus, Philly,” he cursed and the kiss intensified. His weight pressed deliciously into her front as he leaned over her. Her fingers flexed over his broad shoulders and then his mouth left hers to kiss a trail of delicate smooches down her throat.
Could someone come from kissing? No, but she felt like she was about to. When he finally eased back, his cheeks were flushed under the foggy shadows of moonlight pouring through the glass. He licked his lips as though savoring her taste. She remained slumped over in her seat, speechless.
“You were saying?” he asked, a cocky grin on his face.
She blinked stupidly at him. “I…I don’t think you know what you’re asking for.”
He grabbed her hand and pressed it to the denim bulge at his crotch. She gasped and he said in a husky voice, “Oh, I know exactly what I’m asking for.”
She snatched back her fingers as if he’d burned her and cradled them in her other hand. Sex. He wanted sex. Before she could voice her objections, he said, “It’s not about fucking, Philly. That’s just the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I’m content with simply enjoying the ride. I can wait, so long as you know where I stand.”
“I don’t understand what you mean.”
“Want me to kiss you again so you can find out?”
“No.”
He laughed. “All right, but tomorrow I plan on doing that again. A little longer, a little slower, and soon you’re gonna stop acting like we’re just friends and own up to the chemistry we share.”
Jesus Christ, no one had ever come onto her so blatantly. This couldn’t be all an act. She had nothing to say. What could she say?
“Now, go ahead in, before I kiss you some more.”
She quickly sat up and the door flung open. She scurried out of the truck in record time and slammed the door. His finger pressed into the foggy glass and squeaked as the calloused tip of his thumb wrote XO.
Danger whistles and warning bells clamored in her head. He was going to kiss her again, longer and slower. And then he’d probably get her clothes off, mostly because she wanted to get him out of his. And then, in short order, he’d rip out her heart and she’d never be the same again.
Chapter Eight
Finn climbed the steps to Mallory’s apartment and shifted the sack of food he carried in order to knock. He grinned when he heard her stumbling around. The door opened and she frowned up at him, her hair a rat’s nest of wild waves and her eyes still puffy from sleep.
“What time is it?”
He glanced at his watch. “Eight-fifteen. I brought you breakfast.”
She glanced at the bag as if it were a dead raccoon and stepped back. “Come in. I have to pee.”
It amused him how she was so frank about such things. He dropped the bag on the table and began unloading containers. The toilet flushed and he heard her brushing her teeth. When she came back out, her hair was tied back in a lopsided knot. That, paired with her tiger print pajama pants, was probably the cutest vision he’d ever seen.
“Grab a plate. I have a bunch of greasy meat byproducts I know you’re gonna want to tear into.”
She frowned at him, but brought two plates and silverware over to the table. He popped the lid off the fruit salad and sighed. “What? This isn’t bacon?” He opened the other little tin. “And who put this egg white omelet in here? Looks like they stuffed it with spinach and mushrooms. Well, I can’t eat this.”
When he glanced at her she was smiling. He passed her the container and she sniffed happily. “Very sweet, Finnegan McCullough. What’s in the other container?”
“Oh, that…that’s just some disgusting concoction. You eat that. I’ll take one for the team and eat the other garbage.”
He opened up his breakfast and dug in. The bacon was crisp, the pancakes were fluffy, and the eggs were slathered in cheese. He made sure to keep his plate discretely hidden, because he knew it would piss her off, but she didn’t seem to mind. The sounds she made as she ate her own breakfast were almost sexual and his appetite switched to a completely different sort of hunger.
“Is your mom not making breakfast today?”
“She is, but that’s later. First, they all go to church.”
Her lips closed over a ripe berry speared on the end of her fork. “Don’t you go to church?”
He shrugged. “Now and then. Me and God have a special understanding.”
“Is your family very religious?”
“My brother was going to be a priest. What do you think?”
“Oh, right. I can’t imagine Colin as a priest.”
He laughed. It was still difficult to imagine his brother as anything else, but Colin was madly in love with Samantha and his daughter, so there was no doubting this was the path God had intended for him.
When his stomach was full he closed his container and carried it to the trash. She nibbled her fruit salad. “Thanks for breakfast. Everything was great.”
He liked the way she didn’t sit on the chair like a lady. No, not Philly. She kept one foot on the seat and her knee by her chest. She was perfectly relaxed at the moment and the way her skin still appeared soft from sleep made him want to rub up against her…maybe do some groping and fornicating…
“What are your plans for the day?” he asked, returning to his chair.
“I have to run. I didn’t exercise yesterday.”
He gasped in mock outrage. “Oh no! Whatever will we do?”
She chucked a berry at him and he caught it in his mouth. She giggled. “That means I have to do something extra today to make up for it.”
He could give her some ideas. Maybe burn a few calories himself. “Are you running soon?”
She lifted her creamy shoulder. She had the nicest complexion. “Soon. If I wait too long I’ll get tired and start making excuses.”
“I know something we can do. What? I’m serious. Did you ever climb a tree?”
“When I was little.”
“How would you like to climb a big tree?”
She grinned and looked at him challengingly. “How big?”
“How big do you want it?” Her cheeks flushed and she glanced away. “We have a hundred foot tree we use for training. You can go as high as you can manage.”
“Is it dangerous?”
“I won’t let you do anything dangerous. I’ve been logging since I was a teen. I know how to do it safely. It’s a great workout.”
“I bet. I’m mean, you’re in t
errible shape.”
He grinned and flashed her a shot of his abs, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “Terrible,” he agreed.
Her lips parted and she rasped, “Abysmal.”
Dropping his shirt, he said, “What do you say? Wanna see what I do for a living?”
“Sure. What should I wear?”
“Do you have boots, like hiking boots?”
“No.”
“Then sneakers, heavy jeans, and long sleeves. I have everything else at the site.”
As Mallory changed, he cleaned up from breakfast. When she reappeared she looked rugged in the sexiest sense of the word. Her hips filled out a pair of dark denim jeans and she had on a thermal under a baggy T-shirt. “Ready?”
As they drove to the site, she complained about how logging wasn’t sympathetic to the weather and worried about sweating. Girls. However, he’d never taken a girl climbing. She got cool points simply for agreeing to try it out.
He parked about a hundred yards from the tree they were going to scale. As soon as he climbed out of the truck he went to get her door. She got there first, but he cornered her before her feet had a chance to touch the ground.
Her scent crawled into him, all soft and flowery. He’d been breathing it in since she got in his truck. She stilled as he helped her down and proceeded to back her into the door.
“Finn,” she said in warning.
He ignored her and smirked as he lowered his mouth to hers. Warm, soft lips greeted his and she sighed. There was no more reluctance once he pressed her mouth open and stole a taste. He gripped her hips and pulled her to his front. Her hands crawled slowly over his shoulders as their heads tilted.
There was something about kissing Mallory that was different from all the other women he’d kissed. She was tender and warm. He loved putting his hands on her. When he pulled back she blinked up at him, her cheeks a bit flushed and eyelids at half-mast. Even though he’d just kissed her, he wanted to do it again.
Grunting, he turned to get the equipment out of his toolbox in the back of his truck. When he thought she wasn’t looking, he did a quick readjustment of his situation down below.
Skin (McCullough Mountain 2) Page 11