by K. Sterling
“No. He’s leaving.” He said as he looked at Clark. It was obvious that Clark didn’t enjoy the display of affection or what he was imagining. Or that they were both dismissing him. Lane gave him a sarcastic smile. “You don’t want to be late. Don’t you have to take the family to church, Clark?” He asked as he went around the counter and didn’t bother to hide the obvious tenting of the front of his pants as he guided Clark toward the door. Clark frowned over his shoulder at Aiden.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Cabbot.” Aiden said as he waved. Clark’s jaw twitched angrily as he looked at Lane.
“I’ll call you later.” He said under his breath as Lane pulled the front door open. Lane shook his head as Clark passed him.
“Don’t bother, I’ll be busy.” Lane winked as he slowly shut the door in Clark’s face. He laughed softly and scrubbed a hand over his face before he turned and went back to the kitchen. “What the hell was that?” Lane asked as he went to the stove. Aiden shrugged as he leaned against the counter.
“He sounded like an asshole and he wasn’t getting the message. I thought I’d help you.” He offered before he finished his juice. “So, you and Clark Cabbot?” Aiden asked as he poured himself another glass. Lane raised a shoulder as he made their plates.
“It was just sex.” He said as he looked at Aiden. “Do you like pancakes and bacon?” Lane asked and Aiden laughed.
“I have Asperger’s. I’m not a member of Al Qaeda or a Communist.” He explained as he took his plate from Lane. “I love pancakes and bacon. And syrup. It’s one of the few condiments I like.” Aiden said as he went to the table. Lane smiled as he set down his plate.
“Do you want some coffee?” He asked as he went for the syrup and the juice.
“I can’t drink coffee. It makes me see sound.” Aiden said as he greedily munched through a piece of bacon. Lane’s eyes grew large.
“Of all the things you’ve said to me, that might be the most strange and offensive.” Lane said and Aiden’s eyes snapped to his and he looked worried. “I’m kidding. But how can you not like coffee?” Lane asked. Aiden shook his head.
“Caffeine makes my skin hurt.” He said as he reached for the syrup. Lane couldn’t stop his eyes from sliding over Aiden’s chest at the mention of skin. God, Lane was hurting. He tried to distract himself by watching Aiden pour a very thin, even layer of syrup over each pancake before he carefully cut them. Aiden took his first bite of pancake and his body rocked a few times before he stopped and sat up straight. Lane pretended not to notice and dug into his pancakes. When Lane looked up, about two minutes later, Aiden’s plate was empty.
“Jesus. You want more?” Lane asked and Aiden smiled sheepishly as he shook his head.
“I really like pancakes. But I’m full now.” He said as he sat back contentedly. Lane shook his head in disbelief as he took another bite. Aiden looked thoughtful. “Does Cabbot’s wife know that he has sex with men?” He asked and Lane choked. He shook his head as he pounded his chest and coughed. Lane washed it all down with coffee and cleared his throat.
“No one knows. He doesn’t think he’s gay. Says he’s just a little bi but mostly straight.” Lane explained. Aiden snorted dismissively.
“Are you openly gay?” He asked as he studied Lane.
“Part of the reason I moved up here from Oklahoma was so I wouldn’t have to hide it. Everyone at the department is pretty much ok with it. There are a few guys that don’t approve but they keep it to themselves. Chief has been really supportive. He has a son at Northwestern that’s gay. He came to me for a lot of advice when his son first came out.” He explained and Aiden smiled.
“That’s good. I didn’t want my staying with you to cause you any problems.” Aiden said. Lane’s eyes narrowed as he considered Aiden.
“I looked up Asperger’s last night.” He said softly and Aiden’s head tilted as he watched Lane. “For the most part, you sound normal when you talk and you seem more empathetic than most people with your disorder.” Lane watched as a smile filled Aiden’s face. Lane felt it warming him as Aiden leaned close, as if he was going to share a secret.
“Characters.” He whispered and Lane frowned in confusion.
“Characters?” Lane repeated and Aiden nodded.
“I have characters that I use for different situations. If I pretend I’m someone else, I don’t have to worry that I’ll say or do the wrong thing. Its like acting. I got to use a new character while Cabbot was here. I call him Mr. Morning After. He’s flirty and affectionate because he had a great time last night and is hoping for a second round, maybe shower sex.” Aiden’s voice was low and smooth and he winked. Lane exhaled loudly as he felt heat wash over him.
“Shower sex.” He whispered for no good reason and Aiden nodded.
“Mr. Morning After is a big fan of shower sex.” His eyes were heavy as they met Lane’s.
“I should clean all of this up.” Lane said loudly as he jumped to his feet and collected their plates. He barely touched his food but his appetite was gone. For pancakes, at least. He turned the water on and reached for the spray to rinse their plates and jumped when Aiden’s arms slid around his waist. Lane bit his lip and groaned when he felt Aiden’s lips brush his ear.
“We should take a shower so I can thank you for breakfast.” The words were hot and damp against Lane’s skin. He grabbed the edge of the counter when he felt Aiden’s teeth graze his neck, causing Lane's knees to turn to water. Holy shit.
“No more Mr. Morning After, Aiden.” Lane ordered weakly. Aiden’s lips slid up Lane’s neck as he inhaled deeply.
“You smell so good. Are you sure?” Aiden growled softly as he nipped Lane’s ear. Lane nodded weakly.
“I’m sure.” He whispered.
“All right.” Aiden said as he released Lane and stepped away. “I’m going to get dressed.”
By the time Lane could take two deep breaths to steady himself, Aiden was gone.
“What the hell is wrong with me?” Lane whispered to himself. Why wasn’t he in the shower with Aiden, running his hands all over Aiden’s hard, sleek body? Why wasn’t he begging Aiden to fuck his brains out right now? Lane looked at the sink and it was as if he could see his resolve going down the drain with water bloated bit's of pancake. “Because you don’t know if a man like Aiden can do casual sex and if getting involved with him is going to have professional repercussions.” Lane argued. He frowned, only a small part of his brain and body believed him. “Coward.” He grumbled as he turned his attention to cleaning the kitchen.
Chapter 5
Maybe I could get a place. I forgot how good it feels to sleep in a bed, Aiden thought as he ripped the tags off a t-shirt and pulled it over his head. After it's over. If it ever ends, he frowned as he pulled a pair of jeans on. After three years, he was exhausted with it. His thoughts had been dark lately. His mind would drift and he’d imagine giving up and coming out into the open, letting it happen. But the bed felt good. Having that every night could be worth holding on for.
Coming downstairs after he woke up had been almost heaven. If Cabbot hadn’t been there, it would have been perfect. Aiden had never had a morning after. No one had ever made him breakfast. And it was pancakes. He could live for pancakes alone. Aiden said the character was Mr. Morning After. That was a lie. In his head, Aiden was pretending he was Mr. Every Morning. He pretended he knew the body he’d put his arms around as well as his own, that this Sunday had been one of many with pancakes and shower sex. But Aiden knew better than to imagine he’d ever really be Mr. Every Morning. Men like Lane didn’t stay with men like Aiden. A man like Lane might make Aiden pancakes once or twice to save him from a few fast food meals but Aiden wasn’t the type that got long term pancakes.
But Cabbot didn’t deserve long term pancakes either. The idea of Lane with Cabbot made Aiden’s chest tight and he felt like dark heavy slow colors. He didn't understand it. Aiden had never given any thought to who his past partners slept wi
th, before or after him. It had always been about that moment, the brief time they were together. There was never a before. There was never an after. Aiden hated that Cabbot had touched Lane. He was arrogant and thought he was better than Lane. Cabbot wanted to keep Lane on the side, always waiting for him. Lane deserved someone special that was worth long term pancakes. Even worse, Aiden could tell that Cabbot was lousy in bed. Lane didn’t like having sex with Cabbot. Aiden didn’t understand why Lane had settled but he shouldn't have.
Aiden had never been aggressive. He had never pursued anyone. His partners tended to seek him out or it was a simple matter of mutual convenience. After meeting Cabbot, Aiden was determined to have Lane. He’d wanted Lane as soon as he saw him in the terminal and his desire grew more intense with each moment they spent together. Aiden couldn’t accept that Cabbot could have Lane but he couldn’t. And Lane could use a few nights with someone that knew how worship his body and turn it inside out. Aiden might not understand the dynamics of interpersonal communication but he understood how sex and the body worked. Aiden was going to introduce Lane to Mr. Make-His-Toes-Curl-And-Set-His-Hair-On-Fire.
There was the sound of the shower across the hall. Aiden smiled and his body became taut with arousal and anticipation. Aiden knew he’d get his shower sex before he left. Lane had wanted it as much as he did. Even Aiden could see it in Lane's eyes. The phone buzzed as Aiden was sliding it into his pocket. He froze. His throat tightened and his heart started to beat faster as his body became cold and dark. Don’t. Not now, Aiden urged. He took a deep breath and shook his head. He wasn’t going to look. The message could wait. Fear and anger could wait. Right now, Aiden had something better to focus on. He was going to enjoy the lust and adrenaline of a new lover. He was going to get through Lane’s resistance. And then, Aiden was going to lose himself in Lane for as long as he could.
“What can I make you that you’ll eat?” Lane asked and Aiden looked up from his phone.
Aiden had spent the afternoon going over the crime scene photos from Cabbot’s case and reading statements from his phone. Lane read for a little while and watched a football game. Aiden was surprised when Lane let him eat the rest of the pancakes for lunch. It was turning out to be one of the best days Aiden had in as long as he could remember. Aiden’s lips twisted as he tried to think of what he’d liked to eat. His mother was the last person to cook for him and she had died six years ago. There was a memory followed by a terrible longing. Aiden was afraid to ask, if Lane didn’t have the ingredients, it would be disappointing. Aiden must have frowned or made another gesture that gave him away.
“What?” Lane asked. Aiden looked up at Lane.
“Can you make a grilled cheese?” He asked cautiously and held his breath as Lane’s head pulled back in surprise.
“A grilled cheese?” Lane repeated slowly and Aiden nodded.
“Yes. With apple slices or grapes and plain, sliced cucumbers.” Aiden became very still as he waited. Lane nodded and Aiden almost cried.
“A grilled cheese it is. With apple slices and grapes and plain, sliced cucumbers.” He announced as he went into the kitchen. Aiden felt warm bright colors burst within him and he had to clench his hands at his sides to keep from jumping up and laughing. Another memory.
“But just orange cheese. I don’t like white cheese.” Aiden called and Lane laughed from inside the fridge.
“Cheddar. Got it.” He replied.
Fifteen minutes later, Aiden had to blink back tears as he stared at two grilled cheese sandwiches, apples, grapes and cucumbers. It was perfect. He hooked his feet around the chair legs, straightened his back and locked his shoulders to keep from rocking as he started to eat. Aiden ate his sandwiches quickly then the cucumbers. He ate his apples and looked up at Lane as he popped the last grape into his mouth and found him watching. Aiden raised a brow in question and Lane smiled as he leaned back in his seat.
“You eat like a toddler.” He said and Aiden frowned as he tried to understand.
“I don’t think that’s accurate. I am much neater than a toddler when I eat. Also, I have significantly more teeth, so I can cope with more larger, solid foods.” He argued and Lane laughed.
“I’m sorry, you have the diet of a toddler, Aiden.” Lane amended. Aiden’s eyes flicked toward the ceiling as he considered and he nodded.
“Possibly. But I don’t like bananas.” He admitted and Lane laughed again as he took their plates to the kitchen.
“You know, you’re kind of adorable once you get used to the lack of filter, Aiden.” Lane said as he started loading the dishwasher. Aiden narrowed his eyes as he stared at Lane and tried to decide if it was a sincere compliment. He had a feeling it was and it made him warm. Time to show him you’re a man, Aiden decided as he stood up.
“I’d like to make you something. How about a cocktail?” Aiden asked as he walked toward the bar in the living room.
“I thought you didn’t drink.” Lane called from the sink. Aiden nodded as he took stock of the liquor and mixers.
“I don’t but my parents used to host parties and I would bartend. I’ve memorized at least a hundred drinks.” Aiden said as he went to the kitchen. “I need ice.” He announced as he pulled the freezer open. “What would you like?” Aiden asked as he shut the door and leaned against it. Lane shrugged.
“Surprise me.” He said with a wink. Aiden let his lips tilt in an easy grin and made his eyes look drowsy.
“I intend to.” He said softly as he slowly brushed past Lane. He let his hand drag across Lane’s lower back slowly and he smiled when Lane stiffened and held his breath.
Aiden made an old fashioned with orange bitters and set it on the coffee table as he waited for Lane to join him. Lane looked wary when he settled on the sofa next to Aiden and reached for his drink. He took a cautious sip and smiled as he swallowed.
“That’s delightful.” He sighed as he reclined. Aiden nodded as his arm extended along the back of the sofa and let his hand rest behind Lane’s shoulders.
“Why Cabbot?” Aiden asked as he traced Lane’s shoulder lightly with his middle finger. Lane frowned.
“Do we have to talk about my sex life?” He asked warily. Aiden’s head tilted.
“Why not?” Aiden countered and Lane sighed wearily.
“Because you just met the last two years. It’s not exactly something I’m really excited about or proud of.” He admitted. “Why don’t we talk about yours?” Lane looked at Aiden pointedly. Aiden shrugged.
“Fine. What do you want to know?” He asked and Lane looked surprised. Was he expecting Aiden to deflect? Lane leaned closer and Aiden started to stroke between his shoulder blades.
“Are you seeing anyone back home, in D.C.?” Lane asked. Aiden bit his lip as he considered.
“I spend more time away from D.C. than I do there. I’m not in a relationship with anyone but I do have someone that I have sex with regularly, when I’m in town.” He explained and Lane’s eyes narrowed as they searched Aiden’s.
“What’s his name?” Lane’s shoulders tightened. Aiden found that interesting.
“Paul Sloan.” Aiden said and they became tighter.
“Why aren’t you and Paul in a relationship?” Lane asked. It was Aiden’s turn to be surprised.
“Is that a real question, or a joke?” He asked and Lane frowned.
“Why would it be a joke?” His eyes were steady as they held Aiden’s.
“No one would want to be in a relationship with me.” Aiden stated. Lane’s mouth opened and closed several times before he shook his head.
“That’s stupid. Why wouldn’t someone want to be in a relationship with you?” He asked. Aiden laughed softly.
“Aside from the fact that I have no filter and eat like a toddler?” He gave back Lane’s pointed look. Lane rubbed the back of his neck as he cringed.
“Ok, but as far as faults go, those aren’t the worst. And you’re pretty upfront about your flaws.
I can think of much worse.” Lane offered and took a long sip of his drink. Aiden stared out the window as he considered Lane’s point.
“I suppose but it’s never come to that with anyone. Definitely not with Paul. We’re sexually compatible but we have very little in common and have no desire to spend time with each other.” Aiden pictured Paul and reviewed everything he knew about him. “I don’t find him very interesting or enjoy talking to him. And I don’t think he really likes me. We respect each other professionally and the sex is enjoyable but that’s it.” Aiden admitted. “Also, I don’t want to be monogamous with Paul. I occasionally come across someone I’m attracted to when I’m traveling.” Aiden winked at Lane and his fingers trailed slowly up Lane’s neck and he shivered as he stared at Aiden.
“So, you’re kind of a slut?” Lane smiled and Aiden understood he was teasing.
“I don’t think so. Four partners in the last year doesn’t seem too unreasonable. And I’m always careful.” Aiden said and Lane nodded.
“No, that’s not as bad as I was expecting. And everything’s easy and everyone’s happy? No nightmares in your past?” Lane asked. Aiden felt a reflexive tightening in his chest as he pictured the text message he’d received that morning.
Unavailable
Enjoying Lake Cliff?
“Just one but I don’t want to ruin the mood.” He said as he let his fingernails scrape up and down the back of Lane’s neck. Lane sighed as he leaned closer. “Can we talk about Cabbot now?” Aiden asked. Lane frowned.
“Why are you so interested in Clark?” Lane asked as he searched Aiden’s eyes. Aiden held his gaze.
“It doesn’t make sense to me. I can’t understand what you saw in him or why you thought he was good enough for you.” Aiden said softly. Lane snorted as he raised his drink to his lips. He drained his glass and set it down before he got up and went to the window.