EL DIABLO II

by M. Robinson

  I cooked dinner every night, leaving Cruz a plate of food on the stove. I didn’t even realize I was doing it because I had done it for my father for so long, it seemed a natural thing to do, becoming a part of our routine. I’d wake up to find an empty plate in the sink. When the food was still on the stove, I knew he didn’t come home. Those were the longest days, worrying about him.

  If he was okay.

  Hurt.

  Alive…

  I was only human, it was only natural for me to be concerned. At least, that was what I told myself.

  “I don’t know. I’m used to cooking for two people or a house full of uncles. I wouldn’t know how to cook for one person if I tried.”

  “You’re a big fat liar. I can actually see your nose growing. You’re going to have to go to confession tomorrow for all the lies you’ve told me today.”

  I sighed, she was relentless. “Fine, okay? I like cooking for him,” I admitted for the first time out loud and myself. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

  She mocked, “But why, if you hate him? Oh! I know! Is it because you’re not keeping his balls empty, so you’re making up for it by keeping his belly full?”

  I busted out laughing, falling onto the back of the sofa. She smiled, pleased with herself.

  “You know what they say, Sienna. A man who eats prime rib at home won’t settle for fast food hotdogs, no matter how hungry he is.”

  “Who says that?”

  “Wise women who own half of everything, like you do. Anyway, back to the dirt. What else is going on? Huh?”

  “Well…there is this one thing.”

  “Jesus, girl, I’ve been here all day. Spill it already, I’m growing old just waiting for the goods. What?”

  “Well, I don’t know when it started but it’s been going on for a few weeks now.”

  She ate another piece of popcorn, her full attention focused on me.

  “I fell asleep on the couch one night and I must have been sleeping pretty heavily because I don’t remember being moved.”

  “Moved? What do you mean moved?”

  “I woke up sleeping in my bed.”

  “Cruz moved you?”

  The expression on her face turned astounded when I replied…

  “Yeah.”

  Chapter 27

  —Sienna—

  “Did he wake up with you the next morning?”

  “No.”

  “Okay…did you ask him if he carried you up to bed?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I didn’t think it would happen again.”

  “But it did?”

  I nodded.

  “When?”

  “Every night since. I mean, when he actually comes home.”

  She gasped. “Sienna! You’ve waited all afternoon to finally tell me this! How could you?”

  I chuckled.

  “Has he woken up in bed with you since?”

  “No, we haven’t slept in the same bed, but…”

  “There’s a but? Like butt sex?”

  “Aurora! No!”

  “Damn.”

  “I think he watches me sleep.”

  She cocked her head to the side. “Come again?”

  “Yeah, weird, right?”

  I swear I felt his presence during the nights I went to bed on my own. I’d often wake up feeling as if he was near, watching me while I slept. Even the nights he carried me up to our room, I waited for him to get into bed with me.

  He never did.

  He always left, closing the door behind him. Sometimes in the night, I’d wake up again in a panic, sitting straight up on the mattress. Only to be slapped in the face with the illusion of a man who wasn’t there. It bothered me.

  A lot.

  “Have you said something to him about either of those things?”

  “No.”

  “Why not?”

  “I guess…” I thought about for a second before blurting, “I don’t want it to stop.”

  She gasped again, louder that time.

  “I know, right? What the fuck is wrong with me? I hate him.”

  “Hate is a really strong word.”

  “Aurora, we fight all the time.”

  When he was around, which was rare, we fought like cats and dogs. I was the one who always started it, but I couldn’t help myself. I was annoyed, felt abandoned, and becoming more depressed with each passing minute. No one knew when his sister was going to be found. Anytime I asked him how things were going, he’d shut me out and blow me off. Saying it didn’t concern me.

  It simply fueled my animosity toward him.

  “That’s not fighting, Sienna.”

  “It’s not?”

  “Nope. That’s fucking foreplay and the day you guys finally do it, holy shit! It’s going to be straight up fire! I can’t wait to hear about it! I’m so excited for you! Just wait until you have your first orgasm! And as we’ve heard through the grapevine, your husband knows how to give multiples.”

  “Ugh! That’s another thing that bothers me. I hate that he’s been with so many women. A lot of which I know.”

  “He’s a man.”

  “I know, but still…it bothers me.”

  “Are you punishing him for that?”

  “No. Wait.” I glanced up in the air. “Am I?”

  “Sounds like you’re punishing him for something. Maybe you need to figure that out. However, for the love of God, talk to your husband! You’re married now, Sienna. You might as well try to accept that and find some middle ground. Get to know him. Become friends. The best marriages start out as friendships. You need to give him a chance and stop pushing him away, or you’re going to keep living an unhappy and lonely life. Unless he betrays your father or someone close to him, you’re tied to Cruz for life.” She shook her head, trying to get her point across.

  “You’re not getting out of this marriage, so you may as well try and be his wife. You can’t continue on this way, it’s not healthy. You’re only digging yourself into an early grave, and I’m talking emotionally.”

  Living in this house was starting to take a toll on me. I never realized how much I truly loathed being by myself. Without having school, Aurora, or Massimo to distract me, I truly noticed the absence of people around me. Somewhere along the way, I found myself craving conversation and human interaction.

  Aimlessly, I spent my days, wandering the property in hopes that maybe I would find Cruz. That maybe we could talk, even though all we seemed to do was fucking argue. I barely ever saw him. He was there less and less as the days went on, never telling me where he was going, or when he would be back.

  I inhaled a ragged breath, knowing she was right. “I don’t know if I believe in love, Aurora.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “If love could conquer all then my mother wouldn’t have died.”

  “Oh, babe…” She hugged me tight. “Sometimes bad things happen to good people. It doesn’t mean you lose faith in love.”

  “I can’t lose someone I love like that again. The only reason I survived it the first time was because I had to be there for my father. Who’s going to be there for me if something happens to my husband?”

  “Sienna, you’re breaking my heart. You’ll have me. And if you guys have kids—”

  I pulled away. “No, Aurora. I can’t bring children into this world. I refuse.”

  “You can’t stop living life. Every single person on Earth has the chance of shitty things happening to them. I could walk outside right now and get hit by a car. Life is hard for everyone. People die every day. It’s the circle of life. You’re one of the strongest women I know, Sienna Contessa Martinez. You don’t surrender to anyone or anything.”

  I nodded, needing to hear that. “I love you.”

  “See…love isn’t so scary. It’s beautiful if you let it be.”

  I thought about what Aurora said for the rest of the day after she left. Thinking about everything Cruz and I
never spoke about. Including, what happened on our wedding night. Just as predicted, my aunts stormed into the suite the next morning as I was eating breakfast on the balcony. Unbeknownst to them, I was sitting a few feet away, once again by myself. They stripped the sheets, giggling the entire time. Saying some shit about how handsome my husband was and they could only imagine the kind of night we shared together.

  “Oh, to be young and in love.”

  It was all a mockery, a sham of a relationship and marriage. Beginning with our ceremony. Anything I needed or wanted was delivered right to the gates of this Hell. Even though Cruz made sure I was well cared for, he never fulfilled my one desire that would cost him nothing.

  Companionship.

  Why would he want to be near you Sienna if you’re always a complete bitch to him?

  I couldn’t believe I spent one afternoon with my best friend and now I’m questioning everything. Especially, what I feel for him. All I really wanted or needed was for him to keep me company, even if words weren’t spoken.

  Against my better judgment, my body still woke up most nights. Thinking he was there, watching me sleep. Every time I opened my eyes to catch him sitting there, he wasn’t.

  I guess isolation could make you dream what you truly wanted, and I still wanted him. At the same time, I fucking hated him when he was in my presence. My emotions were very confusing and all over the place.

  Why did I miss a man I didn’t want to know? Or did I?

  The sad part was, for the first time in my life, I felt safe. With him. Which confused me more than anything.

  What the fuck?

  Before I knew what I was doing, I walked past his office. Conscious that I shouldn’t go in there, nevertheless, I did. From the moment I stepped into his space I was comforted in a way I hadn’t expected. The room instantly provided some type of contentment. His potent scent lingered in every crevice of the vast space.

  Why did I suddenly miss him?

  Why did his scent comfort me when I thought I wanted nothing to do with him?

  Why? Why? Why?

  Softly, I ran my fingers across his desk, his chair, the walls and windows. Making my way around his sacred place until I was touching his black leather couch in the center of the room. Bringing the accent pillow up to my nose, I inhaled his musky cologne. He must have slept on this sofa the night before, it smelled of him.

  I don’t know what came over me, but I laid down. Imagining him there, thinking about me. Tugging the throw blanket over my body, I set my head on the pillow I’d just smelled and started reading my book. Avoiding the emotions and questions which were hounding my thoughts.

  The day quickly turned night, like it always did when I got captivated by a love story. My eyes began fluttering closed and I passed out cold. Merely to once again, dream about him watching me.

  Except this time, I didn’t shoot straight up from a dead sleep. Instead, my gaze instinctually opened.

  No panic.

  No craze.

  No uncertainty.

  I locked eyes…

  With him.

  Chapter 28

  —Sienna—

  Question after question tore through my mind, catapulting my thoughts through a downward spiral of why he appeared so fucking broken.

  His hair was disheveled as if he’d been trying to rip it out of his skull. He was still wearing his suit jacket, probably trying to cover the blood on his button-down shirt. Through a bloodshot, dark, dilated stare, he glared back at me with unyielding sentiments. Clawing at all my insecurities I spoke with Aurora about this afternoon.

  For a second, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. He was showing me all his emotions which he’d never done before. I refused to let go of this moment, trying to ease my overly active imagination the only way I could, making up reasons and excuses for his unnerving behavior. This was all just so damn overwhelming and perplexing.

  He was sitting in the armchair, closest to the couch I was sleeping on. His body hung forward with his elbows on his knees, while his hands were out in front of him in a prayer gesture. A bottle of Bourbon perched in between them. Behind his cold demeanor, I could tell he was internally battling something he’d never say out loud.

  Especially, to me.

  As soon as my eyes shifted to the seared cut on his upper lip, I fucking knew.

  “You’re one of them now, aren’t you?”

  He didn’t move.

  He didn’t tense.

  He didn’t make one sound.

  His silence spoke volumes, deafening in my ears.

  “Why?” I questioned, needing to know. Waiting on pins and needles for him to answer.

  Since I was a little girl, I’d heard the rumors about La Famiglia’s initiation. My grandma once told me it was just hearsay, there was no certainty in an old wives’ tale. I didn’t believe it until this very moment.

  “Do you understand what you’ve done, Cruz? You can never leave now. They completely own every last part of you. Their blood runs through your veins. You’re one of them forever. There’s no going back, you’re bound to them for life from here on out. Why? Please, just give me an explanation. I have to know why you’d willingly give your soul up like that. For what?”

  “The day I lost focus, I lost my sister. I’m drawn to you, Sienna. I have been since the first time I laid eyes on you. I hate it because it left Adriana vulnerable. I won’t make that mistake twice. Come Hell or high water, I’ll do whatever I need to in order to find her.”

  “There’s more to it than that, I can see it in your eyes.”

  “You’re right. I’m a Martinez. It’s in my blood. I won’t make excuses for who I am, not even to you.”

  “And what about my life, huh? I’m stuck now too.”

  “Your life is my life. Till death do us part. You can act like you hate this world, but I know the truth. I can see it in your eyes as well, Sienna. Your blood is just like mine. We didn’t have a normal childhood. Fuck normal. The only reason you think you hate this world is because your father didn’t keep your mother safe. She died on his watch. That’s not hate.” He spoke with conviction, “It’s fear.”

  I didn’t back down, revealing more truths, “They both mean the same to me.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Bull-fucking-shit. I see you sleeping. I see you at peace. I see you smiling when you’re outside in the sun, the pool, your rose garden. I hear you humming our wedding song when you’re cooking, making the bed, walking down the fucking hallways. You laugh when you’re reading or watching movies. I. See. You. Sienna Martinez. You may hate me, but you don’t fear me…so yes, they’re two completely different things.”

  I called him out, “How do you know all that?”

  “Don’t ask stupid questions you already know the answers to, Princesa.”

  The nerve of this man!

  I jumped off the couch. “I knew it! You’re watching me!”

  Chucking the liquor bottle straight across the room, he lunged forward with his face inches from mine. His strong calloused hand gripped my throat with authority as he loomed over my small frame. The glass shattered against the far wall, producing a crashing sound that boomed deep within my core. As if I was the one who collided with it instead.

  The dynamic between us had always been fire and ice, and half the time I didn’t know which one of us stood on what side.

  “How many times do I have to remind you, not to raise your fucking voice to me? Even the most patient of men would have shoved their cock in your mouth to shut you the fuck up!”

  His reaction didn’t faze me in the least. I’d seen my father flip tables when his meal wasn’t prepared properly.

  “Is that a threat? I’m not scared of you,” I stressed, standing taller.

  “That much is crystal fucking clear.”

  I could feel his warm breath on my lips as his chest heaved in anger. His grip tightened slightly then eased. Through his temper and su
dden movement, I couldn’t help but notice he was bleeding through his makeshift bandage on his right leg. My gaze hastily shifted to the rip on the side of his slacks.

  “What happened?”

  Cocking his head side to side, he let go of my neck. “Bad goddamn day.”

  I winced, understanding the ramifications of those three little words. Unable to control my response, my body moved on its own accord, dropping to my knees in front of him.

  “The fuck?” he rasped, taken back by my bold move.

  “Oh my God.” I reached for his wound. “Were you shot?”

  Not allowing any more of his feelings to be seen or heard, he crudely turned away from me and walked toward the door.

  “It’s none of your fucking business.”

  “None of my business?” I snapped, standing up while watching him limp out of the room.

  I couldn’t do this for another second.

  The push and pull.

  The all-out war.

  One too many pent-up frustrations from the last three months.

  His distance.

  His resentment.

  His anarchy of a life bound to mine.

  Without thinking, driven on pure emotion and adrenaline, I shouted loud and fucking clear, “I’m your wife!”

  As soon as the words flew out of my mouth, he stopped dead in his tracks. My eyes widened, recognizing the significance of what I just announced. It was the first time I acknowledged what I was to him.

  There was no holding back, I spit rapid-fire, “You think I don’t know you resent me for your sister getting taken? Do you think I’m stupid enough to think you wanted to marry me for anything other than revenge? I know the truth! You wanted to punish me! You think it’s my fault that you left her! If it wasn’t for me, she’d still be here and not fucking missing!”

  No response.

  Nothing.

  To hell with this and his indifference.

  I grabbed the vase from the coffee table and threw it in his direction. Shards of glass blasted off the wall in front of him.