by M. Robinson
He narrowed his stare at me, taking in what I was declaring. Since I didn’t want to argue with him, I got up and left. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t shocked he let me.
My feet moved on their own accord, and before I knew what I was doing, I found myself sitting in front of Adriana next.
“You okay?” I asked her, wanting to break the ice between us.
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry for everything that happened to you. I can’t imagine what you’ve been through these past few months. Your brother was devastated. Your whole family was when they learned of your kidnapping. He beat himself up every waking moment for allowing anything to happen to you. Not a day has gone by that he wasn’t out chasing leads, using any means possible to get answers. Cruz is just trying to protect you.”
I’d only briefly met Cruz’s sister at my graduation party, and already I realized how much she was like her brother. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t even look at me. She completely shut off, imprisoned by her own thoughts. The only reason I noticed was I recognized the expression on her face. I’d worn it a time or two.
For some reason I couldn’t explain or understand, I felt a connection to her like I had with her mother. I wanted to help, give her peace of mind.
Maybe hope.
“My mom was killed in front of my eyes, when I was eight years old.”
Ari’s gaze met mine.
“I know firsthand what it’s like to have your whole life ripped away from you. It’s hard to comprehend and you spend nights awake asking yourself why? Why me? I didn’t ask for this, I didn’t want it. I’m a good person, I don’t deserve what’s happening to me, around me, to people I love. It took me a long time to come to terms with knowing this was the life I was born into. Instead of focusing on the bad, I tried to see the good. My father has done some very shitty things in his time, things that I know he’s going to have to take up with God. But I’ve seen his heart. I’ve felt his love. It’s difficult to separate El Capo from my Papá, and I imagine your mind is all over the place with what you learned tonight with your father. Rest assured, I’ve seen his love for you, Ari. His love for your mom, your brother. You’re everything to him. I hope you know that.”
“I do. And because of that, I know Christiano is a good man too.”
My eyes pinched together, waiting for her to continue.
“I spent the last seven months with him. I know things, like you married my brother. I know they’ve been searching for me. I know everything that’s been going on while I’ve been gone.”
“How?”
“He showed me.”
“Vitale?”
“Yes. He was at your wedding. He went for me.”
“What?”
“It’s hard to explain. I barely understand what happened between us. At first, he was cruel, but…I don’t know. Somewhere along the line, his demeanor changed. I was scared. I’d never been away from home or my family. And then being thrown to the wolves so to speak, it was terrifying.” Her eyes rimmed with tears, visibly reliving it all over again. “I’m not strong like my brother. I’ve been babied my entire life and I didn’t realize how bad it was until I was taken. All I had was time to think, and for the first time I truly recognized how naive I was. Am.” She shrugged. “It’s still really confusing. To make matters more unclear, Christiano came back one night, and he started showing me photos, videos he’d taken of everyone. Told me my brother was getting married. I cried the entire night that I wasn’t going to be there. He showed up the next night in a tux. He had a video of your wedding ceremony and reception, and it was the first time he was kind to me. He told me about the night, how happy Cruz looked. How miserable you did. Things began changing between us after that.”
“Wow. I don’t know what to say.”
“It doesn’t matter what I say, Cruz already gave his orders. He’s a dead man walking. It’s only a matter of time before they find him. He protected me. It’s why I was with him instead of Michael, who turned out to be my long-lost grandfather apparently. Which is even more mind blowing, I’m his granddaughter, and he hated me. He never once treated me like anything more than garbage beneath his feet. I knew he was obsessed with our family. He didn’t try to hide that.”
“He’s crazy.”
“Talk about genes, right? Michael didn’t give me to Christiano like he claims. Christiano walked in on Michael hurting me, and the next thing I knew he was taking me with him. I never went back into Michael’s hands.”
I opened my mouth to say something, however she rendered me speechless when she added…
“I think I’m in love with him.”
Chapter 45
—Cruz—
The doctor finished checking Papá’s vitals. He was heavily sedated, passed out on his bed with an IV in his arm. A mixture of fluids and pain meds were being pumped through his veins to help him stay comfortable, along with a machine to monitor his blood pressure and oxygen levels. Mamá and Sienna were with Adriana in her bedroom, getting her situated after seven long months being away from home.
Dr. Sanchez nodded toward the door and I followed him out, shutting it behind me. He was an old family friend who’d been to our house several times throughout the years for colds, flu, aches and pains. He was paid to keep his mouth shut. Regardless, I trusted him.
“How is he?” I asked, placing my hands in the pockets of my slacks.
“He’s strong, Cruz.”
“I don’t need your bedside manner, doctor, and my mother isn’t around. I want the truth.”
“The truth is,” he sighed, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Your father is in bad shape. Although, we both know how resilient he is. He won’t go down without a fight.”
“His body is fighting against him.”
“What’s that Frank Sinatra song? My way? Well,” he chuckled. “Your father did it all his way. He’s lived the life he’s wanted. Not many people can say that, Cruz.”
“I’m not ready to say to goodbye to him.”
“I understand. In times like these, all we can do is pray and leave it in God’s hands.”
“God hates me, doctor.”
“That’s not how he works. Trust in him. Okay?”
I didn’t reply, what could I say to that?
“He’s set with his meds and IV until the morning. I’ll be back then. If anything changes, I’m a phone call away.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
He smiled, saying goodnight to Mamá on his way down the hall. She beamed, focusing her attention on me. Standing in front of me, with nothing but strength written clear across her face.
Reading my mind, she reaffirmed, “He’s going to be fine, Cruz.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“I can feel it. I can feel him. I’ve been able to feel your father since I was fifteen years old when I met him for the first time. He’s always had that effect on me. It didn’t matter how many years we spent apart. I felt his soul every single day. So if I’m not worried, you don’t need to be either.”
I changed the subject. “How’s Ari?”
“She’s with Sienna. They’ve taken a liking to each other. It’s good. Your sister needs a friend right now, plus she’s always wanted a sister.”
“And you, Mamá? How are you?”
“I’m relieved and thankful I have my family under one roof again.”
“It feels like a lifetime has passed since we were all together like this.” I couldn’t hold it back any longer. “How did you figure it out, Mamá? How did you know it was Michael?”
“I received a letter this morning that said, I’m sorry. I should have been there for you. With a photo of me performing in New York. Your father said he was going to the city to take care of business and I just knew. I called Luciano, and we flew out there. I don’t think Michael thought I would catch on so quickly. He underestimated me. Your father has two properties from his childhood he has never been able to bring himself to sell. One
is in Colombia, the other is in New York. His mom’s presence is still in those homes. As you know, your father loved your grandmother very much. To this day, her death still haunts him.”
I thought I had my father all figured out. Although, what I did know, barely touched the surface. I couldn’t judge him for his decisions, considering I would have done the same if he hurt my mother. He wouldn’t. He was a lot of things, but his family was everything. The past always had a way of repeating itself. He killed Michael for his sister, and I wanted Vitale’s grave for the same reason.
No one fucks with my family and gets to live another day.
“Does Daisy know about Papá and her parents?”
She shook her head. “No. And I’d like to keep it that way. Michael turned his back on my mother, on both of us. He’s never been anything more than a sperm donor, not a father in my eyes. I don’t know what he told you, but I know that it’s all lies. Your father is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. He gave up everything for us. He raised Daisy the only way he knew how, however, he’s made up for it through her children.”
“I know.”
“This isn’t the life I wanted for you, Cruz.” She lovingly grabbed my face. “I need you to know you’re a good man, you need to remember that. I hate this life, but you have a heart of gold. You will always be my little boy with bright green eyes that could see inside my soul. You’re my heart. I love you, Crucifixio.”
“I love you too.”
She pulled me into her arms, hugging me as tight as she could. “You need to take your wife home and get some rest.”
“I will soon. Go shower. I’ll stay with him.”
“Okay.” She kissed my cheek, and off she went.
I walked back into the bedroom, surprised to find him awake. “Papá, you need to rest.”
“I’ll rest when I die.”
“You almost did.”
“The Devil doesn’t want me yet, son. He doesn’t like competition.”
I scoffed out a chuckle. “You got jokes, I see.”
“How are you feeling? Are you all right?” he whispered out of breath.
“I’m fine.”
“I’m fine too. Now how do you really feel?”
I didn’t hesitate in replying, “Scared.”
Opening his arms, he rasped, “Come here.”
“Papá…”
“Cruz, come here.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You can’t hurt me more than I’ve hurt you. We’ll call it even.”
“I’m not a child.”
“I don’t care how old you are. How many lives you’ve taken. How many demons keep you awake. You will always. Always. Be my child.”
Sitting on the side of his bed, I leaned forward. Gently laying across his chest. Hearing and feeling his heart against mine was a sentiment I wasn’t expecting. There was no controlling the emotions it provoked, stirring inside.
“I love you, Cruz. I’m so proud to call you my son. I never wanted to be like my father. Ever. I knew that since day one.”
“That’s where we’re different, Papá. I’ve always wanted to be like you.”
“You’re better than me, and you’ve proven that over and over again since you were a little boy. I don’t know how God let me have you, your sister, and your mom, but I thank him every day for the light you’ve brought into my dark, dark world.”
“Please…be okay.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I can’t lose you yet.”
“You’re my right eye, and your sister is my left. You are both the apples of my eyes. When it’s my time to go, just know that I will be leaving in peace. I have nothing else to repent. My soul feels saved.”
“I wish I could say the same.”
He wheezed, touching his chest. Trying to breathe through the pain talking was inflicting on his ribs. I reached for the water and helped him take a sip before placing it back on the nightstand by his bed.
“In this world, Cruz,” he softly spoke. “The only thing you can do is protect the ones you love. Family is everything. One day you’ll have kids of your own to make you feel whole. They will fill the void in your heart for the lives you’ve taken in their name.”
“I love you, Papá. You fill that void right now.”
He lightly smiled, closing his eyes. It was the first time in my life, he fell sound asleep in my presence. I sat there for a while, just listening to his lulling breath, watching his chest rise and fall. Finding harmony in it all.
After all these years, I finally knew…
His demons were laid to rest, allowing him to find the sleep he spent his entire life waiting for.
Chapter 46
—Sienna—
It was the early hours of the morning by the time we made it back home.
Home.
That word was such a foreign concept to me a few days ago. I never thought I’d think of this house as anything other than my imprisonment behind the bars of mafia life. It was crazy how your perspective could change when you least expected it. I never imagined I’d feel love behind these walls.
I did.
I do.
Cruz saved my life. He would have died for me, and that wasn’t something I could ever overlook.
“Hey.” I walked out onto the balcony of our bedroom.
He was sitting in the lounger, watching the sun rise, declaring a new day.
“Are you coming to bed?”
“I’m not tired.”
“Will you come lay with me then?”
For a brief moment, our eyes connected before he nodded. I grabbed his hand, leading him inside.
When we passed our bed, he questioned, “Where are you going?”
“To shower with my husband. We’re filthy.”
“Sienna—”
I looked back at him, stating, “Trust me.”
Once we were in the bathroom, I turned on the shower and within seconds, the glass fogged up from the steam of the hot water. Not letting go of his hand, I spun to face him.
His eyes never lied to me, they were filled with inquisitiveness on how far I wanted to take this. There was no trepidation in my hands, as I let go of his to unbutton his shirt. One-by-one, my fingers moved down his torso before carefully pulling it down off his arms, cautious not to hurt the flesh wound on his bicep. Tugging it off, I gazed at his injury caused by a lunatic. Realizing how close it was to his heart, mine raced.
If it had been inches over, he wouldn’t be standing in front of me right now. Something came over me, I leaned in and softly kissed his gash while peering up at him through my lashes.
My hands reached for his belt, and the button of his slacks, stripping them off as well, letting them fall to his ankles. He stepped out of them, never breaking our intense connection. In one quick move, I pulled off my dress, bra and panties.
In an instant, his curious stare turned predatory with need. I smiled, loving the reaction my body evoked in his face. Stepping back into the shower, I brought him with me.
He closed the doors as I approached him with caution, terrified he’d push me away, but not caring if he did.
I needed to look at him.
Hold him.
Tell him everything.
Tenderly, I touched the bruises and cuts that ruined his once soft skin on his chest, his arms, and his stomach. I wanted to remember this moment, seeing him vulnerable.
My beautiful broken man.
Mine.
His body shuddered when I touched him, but I didn’t stop.
I couldn’t.
My fingers moved to his sides. I wanted to get rid of all the hurt and pain he might be feeling.
For me.
His family.
His father.
My fingers found their way back to his handsome face.
There under the hot cascading water above our heads, I confessed my sins, “I didn’t want to love you, because deep down in my soul…I couldn’t bear the thought of losing someone else
in my life. I wanted to hate you out of fear of having you die in front of my eyes like my mother did.” I bit my lip, struggling not to cry.
I continued. “I keep people at a distance to protect my heart from the pain of mourning another person. I know what this world is, and I’ve hated it all my life. I wanted to run away, to leave, and in a way, I got my wish. Getting taken hostage, only proved how much I wanted to come home. To you. From the moment I first saw you at my graduation party, I felt this deep connection to you. It’s why I walked over to begin with. My heart wanted something I couldn’t have. I wouldn’t let it. So my mind went into survival mode and I was a complete bitch to you. I’m so sorry, Cruz. You’ve been kind, loving, and patient with me. You would have given your life for mine.” Tears slid out of my eyes. He brought his hand up to wipe them away with the back of his fingers.
He seemed captivated by every word I was sharing.
“I will never be able to thank you enough for what you’ve done for me.”
In one breath, he murmured, “I love you, Sienna.”
Knowing he meant it, since the first time he said it at the church, I wanted to say it back, though I couldn’t find the courage.
I was mad.
Furious.
Love will do that to you.
Surrendering to him, I finally professed my vows, “I, Sienna Luciano, take thee, Crucifixio Martinez, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”
Leaning in, I kissed his mouth. Rasping against his lips, “I love you too. Then. Now. Forever.”
—Cruz—
“I know we will love each other as strongly as we will fight, butt heads, and argue over meaningless stuff. I want all that with you. I want to bicker and make up. I want to laugh and cry with you. Make memories that will last us a lifetime. I want to grow old with you,” she sincerely expressed.