Chad searched his desk for the crumpled paper that had Jackson’s number on it. He was the only person who could fix this. He dialed the number, each ring on the other end was long. It felt like it would never end.
“What do you want?” Jackson’s rugged voice echoed through the other side. Jackson was a grisly man, who would probably kill Chad in seconds if he truly wanted to, but Chad didn’t have a choice.
“Jackson,” Chad tried to keep his voice even and casual like he did with any other person he talked to. “It’s so nice to finally talk to you.”
Jackson’s ragged breath on the other end and the extended silence meant Chad was safe. For now. Chad could hear the muffled voices of the warehouse. “You didn’t answer my question.”
“Can’t I just call to check in on an old pal?” Chad needed to play his cards right. One wrong move and the entire plan could backfire.
“Listen Weeks,” Jackson said through gritted teeth, “I’m ain’t pals with no one.” Chad flinched at double negative and bit his lip to keep from correcting him. He needed him, and even if Jackson had never been the smartest person he knew, he was one of the only people who could throw off the shipment to get the makeup in their store.
“Right.” Chad chewed on his bottom lip. “Well I guess I’ll cut right to the chase then.”
Jackson let out a breath on the other end of the call, waiting for Chad to spill the real reason for his phone call. “I’m ready to call in my favor.”
Silence. He couldn’t even hear the ragged breaths anymore. Chad waited, hoping the line hadn’t gone dead.
“I don’t owe you a favor.”
Chad laughed, the chuckle rising through his throat and out his mouth faster than he could process what was happening. “Jackson, are you forgetting the deal we made?”
“That didn’t mean anything.”
Chad stiffened. “It sure meant something when I saved your ass from getting busted in college.”
Jackson stayed silent on the other end.
“Now, you can either own your end of the deal,” Chad paused building up the courage. It's now or never. He was either getting this shipment or he wasn’t. “Or I can give the cops what I know. Have you ever thought about how I would make sure you repaid your debt? I kept the evidence.”
Jackson let out a sigh on the other end of the phone. “What do you want?”
“Do they happen to ship a cosmetic line at the warehouse you work at?”
“Which one?”
“Jamie Ray. I need one unit. Not more than that. We just need the product to get lost from the original shipment and sent to us as a mistake. We will send an invoice to the company for the unit and stock it before they can take it back.”
“Do you think that will work?” Jackson sounded hesitant.
“It’s the only chance I have.”
There was another long pause from Jackson. Chad held his breath, hoping he would agree to honor his end of the deal. Chad didn’t actually have any evidence. He never saved the photos or video of the drugs Jackson had kept in their tiny dorm room. Chad played his final card.
“Okay,” Jackson agreed. “Give me a couple of days. I’ll get my guys on it.”
“Give me a call when it’s done.”
“Alright. After this we’re even.”
Chad gritted his teeth, pushing the guilt in the pit of his stomach away. “Of course. Thanks Jackson.”
“Don’t thank me,” Jackson said on the other end of the line. His words were sharper than they had been earlier. “I’m not doing this out of the kindness of my heart. I’m repaying a debt. That’s all this is. I’ll let you know when the package is on it’s way to your stores.”
Chad stayed quite letting the words soak in. “Right. Just let me know when it’s done.”
“Alright.”
The line went dead. Chad dropped his hand away from the side of his face, staring at the dark screen. He called in his favor. He used his favor to help Devyn, and somehow the pit he was expecting to feel wasn’t there. He didn’t feel guilty using it for her. Somehow, he felt like it was what he was supposed to do.
Chad locked his phone and tried to get back to work.
DEVYN SULKED WHEN SHE walked into Chad’s office. He sat up straighter in his chair, watching her drag her feet over the cheap carpet. She fell into his spare chair with a thud and sighed. Chad pressed his back into the chair and waited.
“I hate my life,” Devyn moaned throwing her head back in the chair.
“What happened?” Chad leaned forward, resting his elbows on the small desk. The sound of paper crunching beneath his arms almost made him flinch, but he tried to keep from disturbing Devyn.
“Alex came in and she demanded products that I can’t get her. I’ve been trying for over a month and no one has it in stock. I’ve told her a million times that no matter how much I call and beg I cannot get it, so when she cornered me today I froze. I didn’t know what to say, because last time we talked she told me in few words if I didn’t get the product my time here would be cut short. I believe her, so I lied. I told her I was getting a shipment in, but there is no way I can get the product in without a miracle.”
Devyn slumped in the seat. Chad could see the glassy coat over her eyes from across his desk. He needed to tell her about the phone call and he needed to tell her about the order. The one that would save her from this mess.
“I’m going to start looking for another job, but I don’t know who would hire me when they find out I got fired,” Devyn continued.
He chewed on his lower lip, trying to find the words to tell her what he knew.
“What if I had a solution to your problem?”
“What do you mean?” If Devyn were a dog, her ears would have perked up at his words. Her eyes widened and brightened. She leaned forward, soaking in the words hanging between them.
“I called in a favor from a guy I know at the warehouse.”
Devyn’s face fell, furrowing her brow. “I don’t understand.”
“Last night, I got a call from Alex.” He chose his words carefully. “She called me and told me she was giving you an impossible task because she was trying to make you fail. She wants to hold this over your head and then she wants to fire you, but I won’t let her do you wrong. We can call corporate. I already have a shipment of Jamie Ray’s on its way to the store.”
Devyn parted her lips, shaking her head. Her brain was trying to catch up with the words tumbling from his lips.
“What do you mean? I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t you tell me?” She raised her voice with each word.
Chad’s face fell. “I was trying to this morning, but you wouldn’t let me. You were in a hurry to get in here.”
“Why would you not ask me first? I think I deserve to know if you make a decision like that without me. What do you mean you called in a favor? What kind of fucking favor is that?” Devyn chewed on the inside of her mouth, shaking her head at him. She stood up, shoving the chair away from her. “I don’t need a handout. I’m not a charity case. Call off your fucking favor. I can take care of it myself.”
“Devyn please,” Chad called after her.
Devyn spun around, rage in her eyes.
“No,” she yelled. “Fuck you. I can’t believe I fell for your shit. I thought you respected me. I guess I was wrong.”
She clamped her mouth shut before turning on her heel and slamming the door behind her.
16
Devyn wasn’t sure how she got home. All she knew was that her feet were aching and a stubble thud had started pounding in her right temple by the time we walked through the door. She’d never left work early, but she had too. Devyn didn’t care what Alex was going to say. All she cared about was getting the hell away from Chad and into a safe place so she could think.
She shoved the door of her townhouse open, Christmas music blaring. The sound of “White Christmas” by Bing Crosby was too much. She raced through the door, slamming it hard behind her. Devyn t
urned the corner and found her sister sitting in the living room.
She was on the couch, curled up in a pair of her Christmas pajamas and a mug in her hand. The record player Chad had stumbled over two nights before was sitting in the middle of their living room. She was going to throw up. The feeling of her lunch rising from her gut was too hard to resist. A tear slipped from her eye.
“Turn that off,” Devyn said her voice cracking.
Maria turned to her and raised an eyebrow. Devyn’s voice failed her, cracking again as she begged her sister to turn the music off from the record player.
“Please Maria, turn it off.” Devyn was sobbing, the tears streaming down her cheeks. She rubbed her eyes trying to clear her vision. Her vision darkened and the tears wouldn’t stop. She couldn’t turn them off.
“Devyn, what happened?” Maria jumped out of the loveseat and ran to her. Devyn’s mind wouldn’t slow down. The image of them sitting on the same loveseat talking about the music and the lights. Everything came back to her and a wave of betrayal washed over her.
“Chad,” Devyn stuttered, trying to get the words to fall out of her mouth so she didn’t have to repeat them. Her heart felt cracked and no one would ever understand. “Alex called him. She told him she was going to fire me if I couldn’t get the shipment we need.”
Devyn wasn’t telling her the full truth and her heart stung again. She wanted her sister to understand before she said the rest. She wanted her to know why she was hurting. The thing she had feared most in the world had come true. She had worked so hard to get her job and to do the best she could for the company, but it wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t good enough and she needed Maria to understand that. She had failed and there was nothing she could do about it.
“How do you know that?” Maria shook her head gripping Devyn’s shoulders.
Devyn hung her head. “Because he told me.”
“Why would he tell you that?”
“Because he wanted me to know he was going to take care of it,” Devyn whispered, letting her head fall toward the floor. “He beat me. That’s all he wanted. He wanted to beat me and he did it. I just didn’t think he would make me feel this way before he would do it. Before he would rub it in my face.”
Devyn had finally lost it. The tears streamed faster down her face. Snot coated her upper lip and the urge to curl into herself was hard to deny.
“Snap out of it,” Maria shook her shoulders hard. Devyn looked up, shocked her sister had said anything to her. “Did he tell you what she said?”
“I just told you that.”
“Answer the question.”
“Yes.”
“Then what the fuck is the problem here Devyn? Because it sounds like this guy got a call from your boss and he is trying to help. What else did he say?”
Devyn bit her lip, staring down at the shoes she had forgotten to take off. “He said he took care of it. He got the shipment because he called in a favor.”
“Devyn, what the hell is wrong with you?” Maria pinched the bridge of her nose.
“He said he called in favor! What the hell does that mean? It sounds like he wanted to prove that he could do my job better than I could.” Devyn puckered her lips, pouting so her sister would turn the attention away from her and back to Chad.
“No, Devyn, it sounds like he wanted to help someone he cared about,” Maria shook her head. “Jesus Christ you’re just like mamá.”
Devyn’s vision turned red and her cheeks burned with fury. Maria hadn’t mentioned their mother in years. “No, I’m not.”
Maria folded her arms across her chest. “Yes, you are. You’re overreacting because something isn’t going your way. You shut everyone out including me. You won’t let anyone love you. He said he loved you didn’t he?”
Devyn’s face grew red again and she refused to answer.
“Of course he did. You’re acting out because you’re terrified another person is going to leave you just like she did. Devyn, you have to get over this shit. Mamá has been gone for years. You have to move on. You can’t keep pretending to be the victim. Stop being the thing that happened to you.”
Maria had always been the one who pulled Devyn out of her meltdowns, but it wasn’t helping. She didn’t understand what Devyn was going through.
“You don’t get it.” Devyn slumped onto the couch, looking away from her sister.
“I lived it,” Maria said, gripping Devyn’s chin in her hand and turning her face toward her. “Don’t tell me I don’t get it.”
“You didn’t have it as bad.” Devyn pulled away from her sister’s grip. “You didn’t have to take care of your sibling and worry about them having food or clothes or shampoo. You didn’t have to make sure they never realized anything was wrong. I did that. I always fought for you. We may only be 14 months, but you were just a baby.”
“I was there. I watched it all happen. You may have tried to protect me, but it didn’t matter. I was old enough to understand what was happening,” Maria said. Her big eyes were glassy, recalling the memories of having an addict as a mother.
“You don’t get it.”
“Shut up,” Maria shouted, throwing her arms in the air. She grunted and stood to her feet. “Stop fucking around. I want you to be happy. Why can’t you see this is killing you? Will you stop holding onto the past for once and just let yourself be happy? The mamá we had before the drugs would want you to be happy.”
“I don’t care what she wants,” Devyn screamed, her voice carried through the house. Maria froze, her wide eyes staring into Devyn’s soul. A tear slipped down Maria’s cheek, shaking Devyn back to reality.
“Then do it for me,” Maria whispered. “Stop wasting your life hiding from people who care about you.”
Devyn played with her hands resting in her lap.
“I don’t want to get hurt again,” she said before looking up at Maria.
“Neither do I, but sometimes you have to get hurt to live. I would rather experience life with someone I love than never have it at all.” Maria pushed Devyn’s hair behind her ear. “Something is different with you. I had never seen you like this. Do you love him?”
“Yes,” Devyn admitted, her cheeks flushing at the confession.
“Then what are you waiting for?”
“He didn’t ask me what I wanted. He didn’t make it about what I wanted. He made it about how he could fix it. It made me feel like I was just a project to fix.” Devyn huffed.
“You are so hard to please.” Maria rolled her eyes.
“That’s what he says.” Devyn sighed, though she was fighting off a laugh. Chad had told her that so many times she’d lost count.
“Well go fix things before it’s too late. If I agree with him about that then I know he is a keeper. Not many people can put up with your bullshit.”
“I want this to work, but I don’t know what to say.”
“Easy.” Maria walked closer to Devyn, tugging the collar around her neck upward before adjusting it. Maria stared at her and brushed her hands across the fabric. “You walk up to him and say, ‘I’m sorry I was wrong’ or as mamá said before she died, ‘lo siento, mija.’” I’m sorry my daughter.
Another tear slipped down Devyn’s cheek. Maria brushed it away the same way Devyn had done for her at their mother’s funeral. The weight on her chest returned, reminding her their mother wasn’t coming back. There was no way she could right the wrongs their mother had caused, but she could keep going. She could change who she became.
Devyn wanted to live. She wanted to move forward. She pressed her lips together and gave Maria a soft smile, Devyn watching Maria under her eyelashes.
Maria patted Devyn on the shoulder. “Now, go buy that man a gift that will show him you actually paid attention to him before you had a meltdown.”
Devyn laughed, but she knew exactly what to get him.
17
Chad pulled a bottle of whiskey out of his desk drawer, and cracked the seal. He took a swig from the o
pen bottle, not caring about the burn running down his throat. What the hell just happened?
Just when he thought things were going okay, Devyn threw a curve ball at him. Not to mention that none of this would have happened if she had just taken the time to listen to him. He took another drink from his glass. He stared down at the bottle, trying to remember why he had bought the damn thing and why he had put it into his desk.
Right now he didn’t care.
Right now he only cared about forgetting the way Devyn had stormed out. How she hadn’t given him a minute to explain.
His phone chirped, pulling him from his already fogging brain. Chad grunted, pulling the phone out of his jacket pocket.
“Lidia–”
“Guess again,” his mother’s voice came across the line. Her sweet voice calmed him, taking the frustration away he had been feeling. Chad furrowed his brow, thinking of how he’d get home if he drank too much.
“Hey Ma,” he said. “I’ll be home soon.”
“I know. I’m just calling to check in on you.” She paused, waiting for him to say something. Chad was could feel the tears pooling in his eyes. He focused on keeping his breathing steady and even. “How was work?”
“Fine,” he said too quickly. “It was the same as usual.”
“Did you tell Devyn about your that lady calling you last night?”
Her question startled him. “What?”
The color drained from Chad’s face, recalling he hadn’t stepped far enough away. He had hoped to keep his mother away from the stress he faced every day.
“I overheard,” she said. “It’s not like I tried though. You know it’s hard for me to move my chair by myself.”
She sighed on the other end of the line.
“Are you drinking?”
“How’d you guess?” Chad was tired of hiding. Tired of being the strong one.
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