How did I not figure it out sooner? I guess, like Carmen, I wanted to believe it was Danny. But Ryan gave Jack a beautiful gift that day. He made him believe his father took the time to do something special for him.
Carmen is right. It doesn’t matter what I look like right now. I grab my keys and bag, then scramble out the door.
By the time I’ve made it to my car, unlocked it and gotten inside, there’s a message on my phone from Carmen.
CARMEN: He’s coaching a football game at Oakhurst High School. Got get him, girl.
I punch the school’s name into my GPS, take a deep breath, and start driving.
When I walk into the Oakhurst football stadium, I’m greeted by a sea of blue shirts and hats in the stands on the home field side. Based on the posters being waved in the air, the school mascot is an eagle.
Oakhurst is an upscale suburban school, and the stadium grounds are immaculate. The dark green field is wrapped by an enormous track, and the scent of popcorn and grilled pork chops fills the air.
I glance at the scoreboard and see that Ryan’s team is up 27–7 in the fourth quarter. There are only two minutes left. Perfect.
My pulse is pounding as I walk over to the Eagles’ sideline. When I see Ryan, my stomach flutters with nervous excitement. He’s wearing a royal blue polo with his team’s logo, his biceps and shoulders fully filling the sleeves, and a gray Eagles baseball hat.
He looks down at a clipboard, says something to an assistant coach, and then crosses his arms over his chest to pay attention to the game as it resumes.
I’m drawn to him, still approaching even though I can’t talk to him during the game. That is, until a security guard steps into my path, shaking his head.
Damn. I’ll have to settle for staring at Ryan’s broad back while I wait, which is at least a nice view. When he turns to the side and I see his clean-shaven profile, it sets in for the first time how unbelievably handsome he is.
I knew he was attractive before, but right now, I can feel it. As my eyes slowly take in the lines of his body, I wonder how I ever could have been confused about my feelings for him. Am I in love with Ryan? At this moment, I can’t honestly answer yes. But could I be, in time?
Hell yes. I’ve never wanted to dive headfirst off a cliff for any man the way I want to for Ryan right now.
The clock ticks down painfully slowly, stopping constantly just to taunt me. I tap my foot on the ground anxiously as I wait
Finally, in the last minute of the game, the clock isn’t stopping constantly anymore. Even with the game well in hand, Ryan is wearing a serious expression, nodding solemnly at something a player says to him.
When it ends, the crowd erupts in cheers, and my heart rate accelerates as I run toward the field. I call out his name as I get closer, but he can’t hear me over the sounds of celebration.
He’s smiling his satisfied grin, his brown eyes sparkling. God, he looks good. I yell his name at the top of my lungs as I rush forward, and he turns.
I’m breathless as I cover the last twenty feet separating us, and when I reach him, his eyes widen with surprise.
“What are you doing here?”
I’m still breathing heavily as I say, “You’re Darth Vader, aren’t you?”
His grin fades, and he looks away. “I didn’t do it to impress you.”
“How did you know?” I put a hand on his wrist, needing to feel him. “How did you know that Jack loves Star Wars and his dad hasn’t been around?”
“Coop told me his dad’s a deadbeat a while back. I stopped by your parents’ place to pick up some stuff they were donating for a fundraiser at the school, and your mom told me the rest.”
“So you did that Star Wars thing just for Jack? Did Coop know?”
Ryan shakes his head. “No one knew but me and . . .” He gestures to the group of players jumping up and down in a huddle behind him.
“The Stormtroopers.”
He nods. “I didn’t want anyone to know either. It wasn’t about you, Sienna. I don’t want you to think I was trying to—”
I interrupt him. “Ask me out.”
He cocks a brow in surprise.
“Ask me,” I repeat.
“I didn’t do it so you’d go out with me.”
“And I don’t want to go out with you because you did it.”
He gives me a skeptical look. “Then why are you telling me to ask you out right after you figured it out?”
“Ryan Lennox.” My voice is louder than I intended. “Ask me out. You said you love me.”
A few players turn in our direction.
“I do love you. But you said you don’t have time for even one single date. The only thing that’s changed since then is you finding out about the Star Wars thing.”
Tears of frustration sting my eyes. “So, you won’t do it, then?”
He moves his hand so my palm slides from his wrist and into his gentle grip. “I want more than just a date, Pup.” His dark caramel eyes hold me in a trance.
“I do too. But we have to start there, don’t we?”
More people are listening to us now, but Ryan doesn’t seem to see anyone but me.
“You’re sure you want this? Because once I have you . . . I’m not letting go.”
“I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out, but I do. I want this.” My heart pounds against my ribcage as he holds my gaze for a full second.
Then, he sweeps me off my feet in an embrace that takes my breath away. His players cheer as he spins me in a circle and then sets me down.
“Will you go out with me?” he asks softly as he looks down at me.
“I thought you’d never ask.”
I cup his cheeks, lean forward, and kiss him. He tastes like cinnamon, and his stubble scrapes against my lips as he bends and wraps me into his arms again, dropping his clipboard and deepening the kiss.
People from the stands are cheering now too. I laugh lightly as Ryan pulls back for just a second and then kisses me again. He’s all warmth, solid strength, and longing. Nothing has ever felt as good as this.
I don’t feel hope or regret right now. I’m not looking forward or backward. It’s just a moment of pure joy I let fill me from head to toe, and it’s utterly perfect.
#datenight
A FLUSH CREEPS up my neck to my cheeks as I admire the black dress and heels I’m wearing in the mirror. The dress has a slightly conservative cut, but it hugs me well in all the right places. And the leopard print heels were a splurge just for this date.
It’s not just the clothes themselves making me feel warm and excited, but knowing I’m wearing them for Ryan. He insisted on taking me to a nice restaurant tonight, even though I told him I’d be fine with pizza or burgers.
I’d be okay with anything as long as it’s with him. Now that I’ve come to my senses, I’m making up for all the years of not seeing Ryan as the sexy, smart, big-hearted catch he really is. I daydream about him at work and end every night on the phone with him, sighing softly and smiling when we hang up.
“You look amazing,” Carmen says as I walk downstairs.
“Thanks.”
Jack is curled up on the couch, his head in her lap and a Star Wars blanket tucked around him. He smiles at me, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s been quieter lately, likely because he can’t find the words for what he wants to say, or because he’s not even sure what to say.
It’s a cruel disease he’s been stricken with, but Carmen insists that we all keep living life even though he’s sick. She still wants him to be a little boy as much as he possibly can. Tonight, they’re having a Star Wars and pizza night, with cupcakes cooling in the kitchen to frost and decorate later.
The doorbell rings, and I race over to answer the door. Ryan stands before me in a pale blue button-up shirt, tailored dark gray pants, and shining black shoes. He takes me in with a slow, sexy smile.
“You’re beautiful,” he says, meeting my eyes.
“Thank you.” I smile ner
vously. “You’re early.”
He shrugs a shoulder. “Couldn’t help myself. Besides, a true alpha never picks his woman up late.”
Warmth at the sound of him calling me his woman swirls in my belly. “Is that so?”
He nods, a corner of his mouth turning up in a smile. I step aside, and he comes in to say hi to Carmen and Jack. When Jack sees him, he sits up, his expression bright.
“The locks still work,” he tells Ryan with a smile.
“Great. Thanks for keeping an eye on them for me.”
Jack snuggles against Carmen’s side contentedly. Carmen meets my eyes with a small smile, silently wishing me good luck.
“Ready?” I ask Ryan.
“Whenever you are.”
True to his word, he opens the door for me, stepping aside so I can walk through first. He offers me a hand as we descend the stairs down to the sidewalk, and I take it.
“How was your Saturday?” he asks as he leads the way to his truck.
“It was really good. We went to the farmers market this morning and then had lunch with my parents downtown. How about you?”
“The team did a project for an elderly couple in town, so I helped with that. We did yard work and painting.”
When we get to his truck, he opens the door for me. I should get in, but instead, I just look at him. I’ve always known in the back of my mind that he was handsome, but now I’m starting to see him in a new light. He’s not just Coop’s good-looking friend anymore. He’s Ryan. My RoughRider. And that man gives me the weak-in-the-knees, giddy sense of hopefulness I haven’t let myself feel in years.
Ryan lets me look without asking me if something’s wrong. He knows why I’m looking, and he looks back, a smile playing on his lips.
I reach for him, pressing myself against his chest and wrapping my arms around his neck. He encircles me, his big arms around my back making me feel warm and secure.
If only this moment could last forever. I’m so content that I moan softly and press a soft kiss to his neck. He responds with a sound deep in his throat that sounds like a growl.
“You really are an alpha, aren’t you?” I say in his ear.
He lets out a deep, soft laugh and rests his forehead against mine. “With you, I am.”
“I kind of don’t want to move and get in the truck,” I admit.
Ryan pulls back slightly and gives me an amused grin. “I kind of don’t want you to either, but we’ve got a reservation.”
I slide my hands out from around his neck and down his chest, reveling in the hard, solid feel of him. The thought of feeling his bare skin sends a shiver of desire from the tip of my spine to the base.
Ryan’s eyes slide closed for just a second. I love that he likes my hands on him. But he’s right, we have dinner plans, and I want to enjoy the date he planned for us.
When I step up into his truck, he offers me a hand for support. Once I’m in, he closes the door, and I laugh to myself as he walks around the truck to get inside. I feel like a high school girl again, wishing he would park the truck somewhere so we could just make out all night.
He takes me to a little basement-level restaurant in the city called Leonardo’s. It’s dimly lit, the walls covered with photos of the owner and all the famous people who have eaten here over the years. The air is filled with the scent of garlic and authentic Italian music piped through speakers.
“This place has the best lasagna,” he murmurs as we’re led to our table. “Ever been here?”
“No, but it’s great. Just perfect.”
Over dinner, he tells me about his team and the classes he teaches. He has a passion for history that I never saw in him. His deepest passion is football, though. I like the way he talks about his team as a whole, but also sees each player as an individual.
“I guess I’m kind of a hard-ass,” he says with a wry smile. “I never thought I would be. When I was a player, I swore I’d be the coolest coach ever.”
“You have to be pretty hard if you want to have a winning team.”
He nods. “And the funny thing is, the boys respond well to it. I don’t just want to coach them in the game of football, but in life. We talk about how to treat people and look out for yourself and all that too.”
“You’re probably the only father figure some of them have,” I say, thinking of Jack.
Ryan reaches across the table and takes my hand. He rubs his thumb over my knuckles, his gaze intently focused on me.
He’s not nervous. At all. I’m the only one whose insides feel like they’re on spin cycle right now. Ryan seems to know, with crystal clarity, that all he needed was a chance with me. And damn, does his confidence turn me on like nothing else.
“I’m sorry it took me time to get here,” I say softly.
“We’re here. That’s all that matters.”
The lasagna really is amazing, and we eat slowly as Ryan listens to me go on and on about the Alpha Mail expansion and Carmen and Jack. After dinner, we walk downtown, meandering past shop windows hand in hand as we continue talking. We stop at a small ice cream parlor, where I get a strawberry waffle cone and he gets a chocolate mocha one.
It’s a little after ten when we get back to his car, and I’m hoping he plans to take me back to his place. After this evening of being so physically close to him, I want him in ways I never thought possible. I love his light, masculine scent that reminds me of cedar. I’m driven mad by the way he looks at me, a fire in his eyes that he keeps reined in.
I want him to unleash that fire and have his way with me until sunrise. This date has only confirmed what I already suspected: I’m falling hard for Ryan.
He drives back to my place, though, so I invite him in as he walks me up the stairs to the front door.
“I’d love to, but I think I shouldn’t,” he says with a grin.
“Really?” My disappointment is obvious.
Ryan’s expression turns serious as he cups my cheeks in his hands. “I’m not doing a single thing to mess this up. The reason I’m not coming in isn’t because I don’t want you really fucking bad . . . it’s because I do.”
I nod, so warm I wouldn’t feel a blizzard passing by right now.
He runs a thumb over my cheekbone and says, “I want to see you again as soon as possible. I can do most anytime but Friday nights during the season.”
“Yes. And . . . maybe Carmen and Jack and I can come to one of your games?”
“I’d love that.”
I sigh softly. “So no crazy alpha sex for me tonight, then.”
Ryan groans and kisses my forehead. “We’ll get there. And when we do, it won’t just be sex.”
He kisses me then, and it’s only slow and sweet for a couple seconds. Then he pulls me against him, one of his hands on my waist, as his kiss becomes deeper, more insistent. When his hand slides down to cup my ass, he seems to catch himself, pulling away.
“I have to go,” he whispers against my lips. “You make it hard to be a gentleman.”
I just nod, breathless. I’m pretty sure I manage to say goodnight before I float into the house and close the door, leaning my back against it as I close my eyes and smile.
Every horrible date was worth it. It was those dates that led me here, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
#thestrongone
ISAAC HASN’T STOPPED smiling since he walked in the room almost an hour ago. He seems truly touched by the going-away party we surprised him with.
Jane had lunch and an amazing cake catered in, and I gave Isaac an Apple watch, his going-away present from the Chicago office. Lucky for us, he isn’t going completely away—he’s just transferring to the New York office. He’s keeping his client roster, so it’ll be business as usual from a new location.
After the stalking thing, Isaac decided he needed a change of scenery. He and his daughter are officially moving this weekend. I’ll be glad to have a veteran employee in the new office.
“Thanks for everything, Sienna.” He of
fers me a hand, but I hug him instead.
“You’ll still be seeing plenty of me.”
The party starts breaking up, and Jane begins sweeping in for cleanup duty. I help her get the conference room back in order, and then I go back to my office.
The first thing I do is look at my phone, and the second thing I do is smile when I see messages waiting on my Foxy app.
ROUGHRIDER16: Hey, gorgeous. How’s your day?
ROUGHRIDER16: Mine’s been decent, other than a near-death experience when a kid mistook the brake pedal for the gas pedal in driver’s ed this morning . . .
ROUGHRIDER16: I couldn’t even be mad at him, because he peed his pants. Not like fully soaked, but enough to cause embarrassment.
ROUGHRIDER16: But seriously, if I hadn’t gone to the bathroom before we left, I may have pissed myself too. He floored it across an intersection with a semi coming from the other direction.
I can just picture Ryan, outwardly cool and collected, but inwardly shaken by the oncoming semi. I write him back.
SIENNAM: I don’t know how you do it. I’d be yelling at those kids to get out of the car and let me drive . . .
SIENNAM: Good day here. Any day with cake is good.
SIENNAM: NY office is exceeding all projections. Couldn’t be happier about it.
SIENNAM: Also, I get to see you in two days! I miss you.
We have each other’s cell numbers, but we keep using the Foxy app for old times’ sake. I like seeing “RoughRider16” on the screen and knowing it’s Ryan on the other end.
I’ve cut back on my work schedule, taking weekends completely off and leaving the office by five every day. With Jack declining, I want to be home with him and Carmen every evening. Even though I know she can do it all on her own, I see the relief in her eyes when I walk in each night. When I’m with Jack, she feels comfortable taking a little quiet time for herself with a book or calling a friend to catch up.
Ryan’s team has an away game this week, but we’re planning to go to next week’s home game. On Friday night, Jack and I bake cookies and listen to a radio broadcast of Ryan’s team playing.
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