“She’s mine, isn’t she?” he asked, shattering the silence between them with his startling question.
Her chin jutted out rebelliously, looking for all like she was preparing for a war she planned to win. “She’s my daughter.”
The depths of her eyes were filled with caution. She expected him to be furious for keeping Kellie a secret, he realized. But how could he summon such an angry emotion when he shouldered most of the blame for the way things had turned out? “She’s ours. Can you deny that?”
She wanted to. He could see the conflicting answers in her gaze and he was curious to see which one she’d go with. She closed her eyes, a shudder visibly shaking her. Then her lashes lifted, and he saw her defeat and knew the time for truths and healing had begun. “No.”
The one word nearly brought him to his knees. “Why didn’t you tell me, Josie?” he asked, taking a step toward her.
Her expression wary, she backed up, establishing boundaries that didn’t include him being within touching distance. “Would you have believed me?”
“You didn’t even try to defend your reputation.” He clearly recalled how devastated she’d been when he’d announced that he’d used her for revenge on a McAllister, and felt sick to his stomach for doling out his own share of lies and cruelty. Yet, not once had she denied the rumors, just let him think the worst.
She gripped the counter behind her with both hands. “Would you have believed me?” she asked again, forcing him to acknowledge the question, if only internally.
No. The word was tough to swallow, and a wave of frustration gripped him. “Goddammit, Josie, you should have told me the baby was mine!” He advanced once again, invading her personal space.
“I did!” she shouted, the gut-wrenching emotion in her raised voice bringing him to an abrupt halt. “But you didn’t believe me!”
And that was the worst of it, Seth realized, facing what he’d denied for too long. He wanted to tell her that she should have been more adamant, tried harder to make him understand, which was foolish because he knew in his heart that her pleas wouldn’t have made much difference back then to a teenage boy. All the signs of her honesty had been there, and he’d chosen to ignore the truth, instead of giving her claim the consideration it deserved.
“They were lies, Seth,” she said, imploring him to understand. “I don’t know how or why someone would spread such awful rumors about me-”
“My brother did it.” He ignored her stunned catch of breath and the questions that instantly leapt to life in her gaze, and continued on before they got side-tracked. In a few minutes, he’d explain. “I was a fool to believe the lies, and they made me mad enough to retaliate, which is exactly what my brother wanted. I have no excuses, because what I did was unconscionable.” He swallowed the thick lump of pride lodged in his throat. “Can you forgive me?”
She gave her head a quick shake, and his hopes plummeted. “It’s not as easy as that.”
“It can be.” It was time to up the stakes, he decided, because he couldn’t bear the thought of losing this woman he’d lost once before. She was a part of him, heart and soul. “I love you, Josie McAllister O’Connor.”
His heart-felt declaration didn’t have the effect he was striving for. She didn’t soften or rush into his arms, but instead laughed humorlessly. “That’s just it. I’m a McAllister. I always will be. And I’ll always be the great-granddaughter of the man your family believes cheated for this parcel of O’Connor land.”
That had been his father and brother’s belief, not necessarily his. “What happened all those years ago between our great-grandparents has absolutely nothing to do with us in the present. We’re not responsible for their actions, we’re just living the legend that’s been handed down to us through the generations, and doing our best to deal with the circumstances of that long ago poker game.”
And then, because he couldn’t stand the distance separating them, he closed the gap in three steps and ran a calloused finger along the curve of her jaw. “And just to set the record straight, Josie, darlin’, your last name never made a bit of difference to me. Not eleven years ago, and certainly not now.”
Her stiff shoulders relaxed. “You lost so much because of your involvement with me.”
“None of that matters,” he said, meaning it.
“How can it not?” she argued, her moist gaze searching his. “Half of the Paradise Wild should have been yours, and you lost it because of me. Surely you have to feel some resentment over that.”
A lop-sided smile curved his mouth. “You would think so, but I don’t. I always blamed myself, but never you directly. It was my choice to be with you eleven years ago. And my father’s bitterness wasn’t your fault, he was just looking for someone to blame for the fact that his grandfather lost a good chunk of land that would have been his.” Tenderly, he drew her into his embrace. His optimism bolstered when she didn’t resist his caring, supportive advance. “I have exactly what I want, right here in my arms and beneath the roof of this house.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest, right over his rapidly beating heart. His ribs ached, but he didn’t care; the luxury of holding Josie far outweighed any discomfort from his fight with Robert.
“You lost years with your daughter,” she spoke softly.
He couldn’t miss the regret in her voice, and it made him love her all the more. “I plan to make up for lost time.”
She lifted her head to look up at his face. A slight frown marred her brow. “You’re not angry?” she asked, a faltering quiver in her voice.
“Oh, I’m furious,” he said on a mock growl, though his underlying tone lacked any ferocity. “But not at you. I understand how hurt you were, how afraid, and you did what you had to do to take care of yourself and Kellie.” He stroked his hands along her spine, soothing her, and himself with the simple gesture. “I’m furious at myself for not seeing through my brother’s scheme. I’m furious at myself for being so blind to the truth and not believing in you eleven years ago. Most of all, I’m sorry that you had to spend the past eleven years alone when you and Kellie should have been with me.”
“How did you know Kellie was yours?” she asked, curiosity and hesitancy mingling.
He wound a soft spiral curl around his finger, and breathed deeply of the light, floral scent that seemed to surround him whenever she was near. “I’d like to say that I was smart enough to figure it out for myself, but today Mac gave me a lot to things to think about, and then it suddenly all made perfect sense.”
Incredulity crossed her features. “Mac knew about Kellie?”
“He suspected she was mine, because of your virtuous reputation.” He grinned when she gave him a bewildered look. He’d have to explain Mac’s “loose woman” theory later. “And then I started thinking about all those rumors you always referred to, and realized there was only one person I could think of that would start such damaging gossip.”
“Robert,” she said, and he knew all the pieces of the past had finally clicked together for her, too.
He nodded. “Yeah, my brother was behind all the rumors, and he admitted to it. We had it out, and he knows exactly where my loyalties stand. Until he can accept you as my wife and Kellie as my daughter, then I don’t want him a part of our life. I’m hoping after today’s confrontation he’ll rearrange his priorities to include my family.”
Reaching up, Josie gingerly caressed her fingers over the scrape on his cheek, ran those same fingers to the cut on his lip, her touch infinitely gentle. “You fought for me?” she whispered.
The awe in her voice humbled him. “Yeah, I did, but I’m about eleven years behind in defending your honor.”
That brought a smile to lips he longed to kiss. “Nobody’s ever done that for me.”
His chest puffed out a fraction. “Consider it my duty as your husband. I have a wife and daughter to protect, and nobody will ever hurt them again.”
“Oh, Seth,” she sighed
. Gently cupping his cheek in her palm, she lifted up on tip-toe to show her gratitude with a kiss to the corner of his uninjured lip.
“Mom?”
Josie jumped away from Seth as Kellie’s voice cut through the haze of need that had woven her in its seductive, magic spell. She’d forgotten about her daughter, had no idea how long she’d stood in the archway watching her and Seth, or what part of their conversation she might have overheard.
Judging by the confusion shimmering in Kellie’s gaze, she’d heard enough to draw her own conclusions.
Slowly, Seth turned around to face Kellie, and the two stared at one another. Kellie’s eyes were huge, as if she were seeing a giant for the first time. But the adoration and love shining in Seth’s eyes made Josie realize that he’d never, ever hurt her daughter.
Their daughter.
A knot formed in her chest. She had no idea how Kellie would react to the situation, and prayed that she would accept the truth as well as Seth had.
“Kellie . . .” Josie forced herself forward, toward her daughter, but Kellie paid her no attention.
“You’re my dad?” Kellie asked Seth tentatively. She stood there with the first aid supplies Josie had requested in her arms, seemingly dazed by the revelation. “My real dad?”
Seth glanced at Josie, silently seeking her permission to confirm the truth. Her barely perceptible nod was all he needed to say, “Yeah, I’m your dad.” His voice was husky with the same emotions that brightened his eyes.
Kellie glanced at Josie, wanting to believe Seth, but still needing her mother’s approval. “Is he Mom?” she asked.
That knot grew tighter, seemingly wrapping around her vocal chords. “Yes, he is.” It was one of the hardest things she’d ever had to say. It was also the sweetest and most gratifying confession she’d ever made because it set a part of her free.
Kellie moved into the kitchen and set the Band-Aids, antiseptic, and swabs on the table, then pinned Josie with an accusing look. “How come you never told me?”
Guilt swamped Josie, and she grappled for a feasible answer that would explain her actions, yet make her daughter understand that her choices hadn’t been easy ones. “Because . . . I . . .” An appropriate response eluded her, and she panicked, looking to Seth for help.
He smoothly interjected. “The reason she never told you about me being your dad was because your mother and I have been through a lot, and it was up to me to trust her with the truth before she could share it with you.”
Kellie was still too young to understand everything she and Seth had gone through the past eleven years. Though Seth’s explanation seemed to pacify her on some level, her worried expression told Josie that she was nervous about Seth accepting her as his own daughter.
Seth was quick to ease that particular fear, because it seemed to echo his own. “I’d like the chance to make up for lost time,” he said, the hope in his voice unmistakable. “I don’t know much about being a dad, but I was hoping that we could learn together.”
Kellie offered a pretty, accepting smile that warmed Josie’s heart. “I suppose I could teach you a few things.”
The tension in Seth’s broad shoulders eased. “You’ll find that I’m a quick learner.”
Kellie shifted on her feet, her shy expression reflecting a new uncertainty. “Can I . . . Can I call you Dad?”
Seth took a deep breath that expanded his chest. Then a huge smile creased his face. “I’d really like that. Do you think I could have a hug?”
Kellie nearly launched herself into Seth’s waiting arms. He wrapped her in a fierce hug, the expression on his face one of indescribable joy. Kellie, too, looked as though she was filled with delight.
Then Seth reached for Josie, enfolding her into the embrace and completing the circle. He gave them each a kiss on the cheek, then he smiled down at Josie, the warmth and tranquility in his gaze matching the way she felt inside.
“I didn’t realize what a lucky hand I was holding during that poker game with your father,” he said, shaking his head in wonder. “I won more than the Golden M, I won the love of a good woman, and a lifetime to share with my daughter and stubborn, feisty wife.”
Josie laughed, the sound light-hearted and pure.
Seth attempted to look stern. “But there’s one last thing I expect from you, wife.”
She lifted a brow sassily and whispered in his ear so only he could hear, “That I move back into the master bedroom?” she guessed, knowing she’d be spending that night, and every night thereafter, in their bed and in his arms.
He grinned wickedly, and with his split lip and bruised face he looked like the dangerous outlaw that thrilled and excited her. “That would be a good start, but there’s something else I need to hear from you.”
She knew what he was asking, and didn’t hesitate. “That I love you?”
“Do you?”
“With all my heart and soul, I do love you, Seth O’Connor,” she solemnly vowed.
He framed her face in both hands. “And you forgive me?”
She smiled gently. “Forgiveness goes both ways.”
“Then I’ll meet you half-way.”
“Yeah, I like the sound of that,” she said, and brought his mouth down to hers. The kiss was tender, and full of the love and forgiveness they’d both pledged.
Most importantly, it held the promise of a new beginning.
Epilogue
Seth strolled into the kitchen, slipped his arms around Josie as she made pancakes for a lazy Sunday breakfast, and nuzzled her neck. “Ummm, what a wonderful day for a reunion.”
Josie smiled as he affectionately and possessively clasped his hands over her belly, though she found his remark a little confusing. “Reunion?”
“Did I say reunion?” He thought for a brief second. “Yeah, I guess I did.”
Exasperated, she stacked the pancakes on the plate on the counter and turned in his arms. “What are you talking about?” He’d been in an exceptionally good mood the past three days, acting like a kid with a surprise, and she’d yet to figure out what had prompted his lively, playful behavior.
He frowned at her, ignoring her question. “Hush, while I talk to my baby.”
Bending low, he pressed his cheek to her slighted rounded tummy beneath her cotton t-shirt and leggings, and murmured sweet nothings to the baby growing inside her. It was a nightly and morning routine Seth had insisted on. Josie listened to his silly one-sided conversation and endured his gentle touch and tender rubs with as much pleasure as he received from the daily practice.
From the moment she’d announced her pregnancy, Seth had told her he didn’t want to miss a moment of this child’s growth, that he wanted to be as much a part of the development process as he could possibly be. After losing that opportunity with Kellie, she understood his fierce need to bond with this baby from the start. She was only in her fourth month—she estimated she’d gotten pregnant their first night together—but by the time the baby was born, he or she would know their father’s gentle voice.
Unable to help herself, she touched Seth’s soft hair, her heart expanding with emotions so powerful, they defied words. This man she’d been forced to marry had become her best friend. He was a wonderful, caring husband, a good, loving father to Kellie, and she knew this second child of theirs would flourish from so much love and attention.
Before her emotions could get the best of her, which they frequently did these days due to hormones, Josie rolled her eyes dramatically at her daughter as if asking, “Can you believe this marshmallow of a guy talking to my belly?”
Sitting at the table, Kellie grinned at Seth’s openly affectionate display. Her daughter had adjusted well to the news that Seth was her father, and with every day that passed, their father-daughter relationship only grew stronger, closer. There was a natural connection between them that even the years apart hadn’t been able to sever.
Their life together over the past couple of months had settled into a comfortable routine.
She and Seth still argued—she wasn’t about to let him get the upper hand—but their arguments were healthy and productive. And making up afterward was delightful. Seth, the rogue that he was, seduced her mercilessly, holding back what she ultimately wanted until they came to a mutual compromise. It was a frustrating, but fun way to dissolve the tension between them.
Sarah visited often with Brianna and Brendan, and Josie thoroughly enjoyed the other woman’s company. A few weeks ago Josie had run into Robert at the feed store in town. After the initial awkwardness of unexpectedly meeting face to face, Robert had stammered out an apology that seemed to encompass every wrong-doing he’d inflicted on her through the years. Knowing that was Robert’s way of asking for a second chance, she graciously accepted his expression of regret. Next week, she and Seth planned to have Robert, Sarah and his children over for their first family get-together. It was a start to mending the rift between their families.
Though life had settled into a certain tranquility, and everything seemed as perfect as a woman could ask for, there was one thing missing from her family. Her father. She hadn’t heard from him since he’d left, and she worried endlessly about him, and missed him terribly. When she mentioned her concerns to Seth, he assured her that her father would come home. She appreciated his support and optimism, but the letter her father had written to her on his departure left her with doubts.
Finally, Seth lifted his head, ending his one-way conversation with their baby. “So, what do you think it’ll be, Kellie?” he asked, a mischievous sparkle in his eyes. “A boy with my brawn and handsome good looks, or another girl as beautiful as you and your mother?”
“How about twins?” Kellie suggested enthusiastically. “I’d like one of each.”
Josie groaned and shook her head adamantly at her daughter’s over-zealous request. “How about one at a time, and we’ll see if we can fill your order over the next few years.”
A lop-sided grin crooked the corner of Seth’s mouth. “You’d give me another baby?” His voice was tender and expectant.
The Cowboy's Gamble: Destined For Love Series Page 17