“I should have never left California,” he muttered angrily. “But I had Madison,” he continued before frowning. “I don’t have Madison at all, I probably never should have.”
He raked his hand through his hair and flipped the hood of his jacket up and over his head before walking to the cot. He shoved the backpack off the rickety bed and lay down, hearing the springs strain underneath his weight. It wasn’t that late, but his body was weary and his head hurt from thinking too much. Just as he started to close his eyes he heard movement near the window. He shifted his eyes only to behold a rat scurrying across his floor and through a crack in the wall.
“Just fucking PERFECT!” he growled.
He reached down, grabbed his backpack, and tossed it on top of his duffle bag. He then rolled his shoulders as he repositioned himself on the small bed. He tried to close his eyes but couldn’t. His heart was aching, not simply because he was now without Madison, but because he found himself in similar circumstances as he did before going to prison so long ago. He was homeless with no one. His arm covered his eyes as he forced back the tears that wanted to come to the surface. He made his decision; he needed to stick to it, even if it killed him inside.
“Whatever happens, we do it together.”
Andrew startled awake. It took him a moment to realize where he was. He sat up hesitantly, unsure what was happening or what time it was, but as he listened, he could hear activity going on outside his room. He glanced towards the window and saw that the sun was beginning to rise so he knew that it was still early. He stretched, feeling the immediate effects of sleeping on an uncomfortable bed. His heart was still aching, although numbness was starting to set in. It had been a long time since he had woken without Madison, something he would need to get used to again. He rubbed his eyes and stood up.
Andrew dressed and got ready for the day, opting to bring all his things with him. The facility had advised him that he could leave his bags in the room but he knew better than that. He would not leave his belongings to be rummaged through by other residents. He walked down the hall with his backpack on and his duffle bag over his shoulder. He kept his head down, avoiding eye contact with anyone. The last thing he wanted or needed was to have a conversation with one of these people.
“You gonna be back tonight?” he heard one of the guards ask as he walked passed him.
“Yeah, just got to meet with my PO,” Andrew replied under his breath.
“You know you can leave your stuff,” the guard continued.
“I know, but I feel more comfortable having it with me,” Andrew mumbled.
“Suit yourself,” the guard replied as he turned to enter another room.
Andrew walked out of the building and quickly slipped on his shades. He slowly approached the parking garage that housed his bike. Carefully, he tied his bags down and took off towards his meeting with Cortez. He found parking not very far from where he needed to be and determinedly followed his normal routine with breakfast at the diner. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the same. Amy tried to make small talk with him but he couldn’t do it. He also couldn’t help but reflect that it had only been a week since he found out about Randall, a week since his life was turned completely upside down. Although he wasn’t hungry, he forced himself to eat everything on his plate, his brain already shifting into survival mode. When he was done, he briskly walked across the street to meet with Cortez, needing answers to how long he would have to stay.
“What’s with the bags, Harrison?” Cortez asked, noting his charges disheveled appearance.
“I want to transfer back to California. I know my six months expires soon but can I go back now?”
Cortez leaned back in his chair and stared at him, assessing. Mr. Harrison never gave him any trouble. He kept his job and was always put together but today he looked as if he had slept on the streets. His behavior seemed out of character as well. This was not what he was used to seeing from him.
“Is there a problem I should know about?” Cortez asked.
Andrew shook his head.
“Are you in trouble? Doing drugs? What is it, Harrison?” Cortez pressed.
Andrew frowned. “Things didn’t work out the way I would have liked. I need to leave.”
Cortez nodded and smiled slightly. “A fight with the misses, huh?”
Once again Andrew frowned, except this time he felt his entire body tense up.
“Look, why don’t you talk to your old lady before making a permanent move.”
“No, it’s not that simple. Can I leave or not?”
“I’m not going to fill out any paperwork to get you out sooner, that’s a hell of a lot of work when your temporary transfer expires on March 3rd,” he tapped his pen on the file before him. “You can leave next Thursday. That will give you four days to drive back. That is how you will go correct?” Cortez asked looking at Andrew’s discouraged face.
“Yes, I will ride my bike back,” Andrew said looking down.
“I will contact your old PO,” he flipped through a couple of pages and then looked up at him. “I presume you will be going back to your aunt and uncle’s?”
Andrew nodded, knowing that they will most likely be disappointed in him. He would need to call them later today.
“Where are you staying, Harrison?”
“At the shelter on 30th and First,” Andrew mumbled.
Cortez nodded. “You will need to go register at the 13th Precinct since you are now in their district. It’s on 21st Street between First and Second Avenues.”
“I can find it,” Andrew stated evenly.
“If you... change residences, you need to call me and let me know. I will still oversee your case until you leave.”
Andrew mumbled a yes. He was looking at the ground, not making eye contact with Cortez, which troubled him. Cortez became serious and in a firm tone continued, “Do not leave New York without my permission or I will revoke your parole and have them pick you up. Don’t leave, do you understand?”
Andrew nodded and looked up at him. “I won’t. Are we done?”
“Yeah, we’re done,” Cortez said watching him stand, snatching his bags swiftly before walking to the door defeated.
Andrew shuffled out of Cortez’s office quickly. He practically ran back to his bike and secured his bags. He angrily paced before jumping on the seat to head to Sonny’s. He couldn’t believe he would need to stay for a whole week. He needed to leave now!
“You got a call, Harrison,” Sonny immediately said as he stepped inside his office.
Andrew didn’t need to hear that as he already knew it was probably from Madison. He needed to nip this quickly so he could make his next stop.
“I just came by to tell you that I’m quitting.”
“Sorry to hear that,” Sonny said motioning towards the seat in front of his desk. “If you give me a moment, I’ll figure out your remaining pay.” He brought out a calculator and started tapping on it. “I should have enough cash on hand. Would you prefer that?”
Andrew nodded as Sonny watched him for a moment before pulling up Andrew’s time sheet. By the time Andrew left the shop, he had another $346, which gave him close to $500. He could stretch that so he would be able to stay at a few motels on the way back. He sat on his bike, not sure what he should do. He really didn’t want to go back to the shelter; he looked down and sighed before starting the bike, figuring that first things first, he needed to register in the right precinct.
~*~
Madison tossed and turned all evening, waking several times in search of Andrew, only reliving the heartbreak that he had left her. When her alarm finally went off, she had assessed that she had slept all of three hours and as she stumbled into the bathroom she saw her reflection, it was quite evident that she had a rough night. She leaned closer to the mirror and lightly touched at the baggy skin under her eyes.
“How the heck am I going to hide this?” feeling her eyes moisten again, she squeezed them tightly shut and shook her head.
>
Madison quickly stripped and got in the shower. As the steaming hot water hit her face, she allowed her tears to come again, crying until she could no longer cry. She went through her morning rituals with no energy or vigor. Everywhere she turned, Andrew was there, from his favorite coffee cup, to the sketching pencils that had fallen near his chair in his presumably hasty departure, to the Miles Rayford CD in the player, waiting to be played. She swallowed thickly, willing herself to hold it together as she exited her apartment and started her morning commute.
“Good morning, Ms. Ellis,” Susan cheerily said as Madison walked past her.
Madison mumbled a good morning but all she wanted was to get to her office and drown herself in work so that she didn’t have to think about Andrew being gone. Thankfully she only had one client scheduled and it wasn’t until the afternoon. She had time to be alone. She glanced at the clock around nine-thirty and began tapping on the desk, chewing on her bottom lip until it was sore, finally she picked up the phone.
“Sonny’s Auto Body and Repairs,” a man with a gruff voice said.
“Yes, I need to speak with Andrew Harrison. Has he arrived yet? It’s a... an emergency”
“No, he isn’t here,” the male voice said slightly concerned.
“Umm, okay, I will try a little later, thank you,” Madison said hanging up quickly.
She decided she had called too early and would try again around lunchtime. She took a deep breath and dug into the files on her desk. She worked through lunch, realizing that the minute her mind wasn’t occupied with work she was thinking of Andrew and she couldn’t have that because it always led to an emotional breakdown. Thinking he should be on his lunch break, she tried Sonny’s once again.
“Sonny’s Auto Body and Repairs,” a different male voice answered.
“Yes, I’d like to speak with Andrew Harrison.”
“Sorry, ma’am, he quit earlier today. Can someone else help you?”
“He quit?” Madison asked trying to keep her feelings in check.
“Yes, can I help you with something?”
“No, umm, no, thank you,” Madison said hanging up quickly.
Madison could feel the tears forming in her eyes. She got up and started pacing in her office trying to control her emotions. If he went to Sonny’s then he was still in New York. She reasoned that was a good thing that maybe he would come home to her and her heart filled with hope. That is, until she realized that if he quit his job he probably had no intention of staying in New York and was probably on his way out of the city already. Her chest heaved as fresh tears came down her cheeks just as Susan entered her office.
“Um, Ms. Ellis, your one o’clock is here,” Susan said with concern. “Are you okay?”
Madison nodded. “Give me a moment, please.”
“Of course,” Susan said closing the door behind her.
Madison took several deep breaths, trying to steady her racing heart. She needed to hold it together. After her appointment she would call Aaron and Olivia to see if they had heard from him yet. She went back to her desk and pulled out a small compact she kept in there and checked her makeup.
“You can do this, Ellis!”
~*~
Madison sat at her desk, rubbing her temples. Her client had left thirty minutes ago and her head was still spinning. The accountant who had managed their business before her didn’t seem to know what they were doing. The client’s books were a mess and completely disorganized. What should have taken only an hour had taken three. She looked down at the mess before her and continued to work on their papers. By the time she was done with everything, another three hours had flown by. She knew that she should probably stay longer and work on a couple of other files but she didn’t think she had the capacity to do that. Her head was pounding and as much as she wanted to forget the heartache she was feeling, she knew that she couldn’t focus any more at work. She walked to her window and breathed out deeply, looking down at the street below her.
“Andrew?” she gasped.
She swallowed thickly and sprinted out of her office, not waiting for the elevator, she slipped her shoes off and flew down the stairs, not hearing the security guard as she pushed through the doors. She looked up and down the street, her breathing ragged. She was sure that she had seen him. She frowned as her shoes fell to the ground. Her tears were stinging her eyes as she brought her hands up to stop the steady flow.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” the security guard asked, touching her shoulder lightly.
“Yes,” Madison quietly mumbled before turning and slowly walking back into the building.
18 Resolve
After leaving the police station, Andrew wasn’t sure what to do next and without thinking, he ended up in front of Madison’s office. He found parking around the corner and leaned against the building across from hers. He wasn’t sure why he was there since he hadn’t actually worked out what he would do if he saw her. His head dropped as he let out an exasperated sigh. While he had decided to only stay for a little bit, that was not turning out to be the case as he couldn’t bring himself to leave.
He firmly remembered what it was like to not be seen and, as such, rotated to various spots on the street, not wanting to look suspicious or draw any unwanted attention his way. That was the last thing he needed at the moment. After several hours, he felt his stomach turn and twist. He tried to ignore it but wasn’t able to.
“Damn it,” he muttered to himself.
He was unaccustomed to not eating on a regular basis, so his stomach continued to growl. He hated to leave his post but he hated being hungry even more. With frustration, he glanced up and down the street and saw a small pizzeria on the corner. He made his way over there, and after he finished eating, he sat in the vinyl-checkered booth and sketched for a long time. After several hours had passed, he noticed that the manager was now talking to one of the workers. He quickly gathered his belongings and threw his backpack on.
“That’s my cue. I better get the hell out of here before they ask me to leave!” he murmured to himself.
As he exited the pizzeria, he shuffled a cigarette out of his pack, lighting it while standing at the curb and looking up at where he knew her office was. He wanted to leave. He knew he should leave but he simply couldn’t. He realized very quickly that he wasn’t able to control the urge to see her again. He needed to make sure she was okay. He reasoned once he did that, then he could leave in peace, at least that was his plan. He started walking towards his newest spot on the street, out of the way but where he could still see her building. Suddenly she burst through the front doors, carrying her shoes with a wild and frantic look on her beautiful face.
“Oh shit!” he muttered and ducked a little further back.
Her head was whipping from side to side, her eyes searching. He worried that as careful as he had been that she might have seen him but he couldn’t imagine how. Her face was flushed and her eyes were desperate. He wanted to get closer; his feet were trying their damnedest to move him towards her. He could almost feel her body against his and the sweet smell of lavender in her hair. He wanted more than anything to kiss her soft lips that molded so perfectly to his while his heart longed to tell her that he loved her and that he was sorry he messed everything up for them. With a look of defeat, she dropped her shoes unceremoniously and brought her hands to her eyes and now, without a doubt, he knew that she was crying.
“Madison,” he whispered, knowing she couldn’t hear him.
He watched the security guard approach her, saying something he couldn’t hear, and a moment later she was slipping on her heels and walking back into the building. His hands immediately went into his hair as he closed his eyes and lulled his head back. He looked around, but in typical New York fashion, no one was paying any attention to him. He lit up another cigarette and took a few steps in another direction, trying to find a better angle to watch for her. He got his wish sooner than he thought, as less than fifteen minutes later she was walkin
g out the door again, heading towards the parking structure. He continued to watch, unable to move until he saw her swerve onto the street. He couldn’t help but chuckle just a little.
“I swear that woman drives crazy!” he said, smiling for the first time in several days.
He shook his head and then the sadness washed over him again. He walked back to his bike and hopped on, resisting the urge to follow her back home. Instead, he reluctantly drove to the shelter and parked before grabbing his duffle bag and backpack. He looked up at the tall hospital building where Randall had been, thinking what a creepy looking hospital it was. There was a part of him that longed for the easy way out. To simply not feel anything anymore, but he knew he couldn’t do that. Madison would find out and blame herself and he wouldn’t burden her with that in addition to everything else.
He slowly strode passed a few homeless men before entering the shelter. Giving the guard his number, he waited as they checked the list to make sure that he was actually supposed to be there. After a moment, the guard nodded at the other man, who proceeded to open the door for him. Seeing no one at the public phone in the hall, he quickly went over to it, dropping his bags and dialing.
“Hello,” Aaron answered.
“We have a collect call from, state your name, sir,” a female voice came across the line.
“Andrew Harrison,” Andrew said softly.
“Will you accept the charges?” the operator stated precisely.
“Yes, yes, Andrew, son, are you alright?” Aaron began before the operator was off.
Andrew sighed and leaned against the wall. “Yes, I’m alright.”
“What happened? Madison is frantic,” Aaron stated with concern.
“Aaron, I can’t talk about that right now,” Andrew’s voice tapered off.
His eyes pinched shut as he continued to struggle with the repercussions of what he was doing. Seeing Madison today was not helping his resolve but it was too late now. He needed to stay the course and follow through.
Helios Exposed (The Helios Chronicles #2) Page 18