by Anne Malcom
Bull failed to feel any relief over the fact they had finally gotten rid of the problem that had been a pain in their ass. Exacted revenge on the men who had threatened his woman. That was because she wasn’t his woman after this. Couldn’t be. This problem may have been taken care of, club might be cleaner than before, but he didn’t want to risk that feeling again. The feeling he got when the kid had informed him Mia and Lexie were in Hope. The feeling he got when Mia had told him about her encounter with the Lost Knights. Fear. Fear that was like ice in his veins. That was a weakness he didn’t need. He was willing to live in darkness so Mia and Lexie could have cloudless sunshine.
I had done a lot of dumb things in my life. A lot. Thinking it was okay to eat an entire batch of raw cookie dough, for example. Letting Lexie convince me to go vegan for a week. Okay, a day. Got bangs. Married a guy who talked with his fists. But this took the cake. Or at least ran a hot second to marrying a loser who talked with his fists.
“Mom? We going to get out of the car?” Lexie asked from beside me.
I glanced over at her. She was smiling at me, her face lit up with excitement. A casserole dish sat in her lap.
“Yes,” I snapped at her. “Eventually,” I added.
I really didn’t want to go into the unassuming yet rather cute little house. Like I would rather watch seven hours of “American Idol”. But I had already committed to the thing and I didn’t want to face Rosie’s wrath by bailing. I also didn’t quite know how to explain to Lexie that Zane had ended it with me, whatever it was. The only reason she was in the dark was because Zane had disappeared on a “run” the day of the whole incident with the bikers. Gwen had been the one to inform me of this when she called to make sure I was okay the next day. I had played it cool and not let on I was reeling from being dumped. I didn’t want to broadcast that to anyone just yet. I needed to lick my wounds, regroup. I wasn’t letting Zane off that easy. Without a fight. I knew that look in his eyes when he left. The thing that flickered before the shutter went down. He thought he was trying to protect us by leaving. He didn’t understand he’d be hurting us worse than anything else could by disappearing. I tried to run my eyes over the multiple bikes at the curb, searching for Zane’s. I didn’t know how long he’d be away for, but I’d been harboring a hope he might be here today.
“Mom,” Lexie snapped her fingers in front of my face.
“Okay, okay, I’m getting out,” I conceded, opening my door.
She grabbed my hand before I could get out. Her eyes searched my face. “You know, Mom, you need to talk to me about anything, you can right?” she asked softly, with understanding that reflected how beyond her sixteen years she was. I swear there was a wise old woman in there wearing a teenager’s body.
I did my best to give her a genuine smile. “I know, Doll—same goes for you. But you seem to have your life completely sorted and have rendered your poor mom obsolete already,” I half joked.
She gave me a long look. “Never,” she promised. “I’ll always need my mom.” She gave me a smile and moved to get out of the car. I did the same.
We walked side by side, as we headed around back, as Rosie had instructed us to.
“Do I look okay?” I whispered in Lexie’s ear as we rounded the corner to the backyard.
“Yes Mom, for the millionth time you look okay,” she said with exasperation.
“Okay? Just okay?” I hissed.
She stopped walking and turned to me. “Well, the first time you asked, if you recall, I said you looked great. I also said that the second. I’ve lost the will to answer this question. You know you look good,” she told me with a raised eyebrow.
I couldn’t disagree. I had taken an extra effort with my appearance today, hoping Zane would be here and I could sway him with some good old-fashioned sex appeal. I’d straightened my usual wayward curls so my hair dipped way long down my back. Like my kid, I was big on the “no makeup” look, which of course meant at least an hour of makeup application. The blouse I had on was Lexie’s, which meant it was slightly tighter in the bust area; not a bad thing with my current goal. It was sleeveless and had a deep v at the front and back, and was form fitting all the way down my waist. My jeans were my oldest and therefore most kick ass pair. They were so light they were almost white and fit me like an effing dream, if I did say so myself. I had my usual sky high heels on; this time, cork wedges. I hoped my outfit might help me tame a wild biker. Or at the very least distract him from his macho man protection goal.
I took in the backyard. It was bigger than I had expected and cluttered with people. A lot of them I had already seen at the club gathering I had attended weeks before, so I got a lot of chin lifts and warm smiles. Lexie hadn’t been introduced to a club gathering yet, so she walked around with her eyes wide. A few of the men gave her lingering looks, which immediately had my hackles up. I tried not to worry too much; whenever Killian got here, which he would considering he and Lexie were officially an item, he would deal out withering looks. Which was good, so I didn’t have to ruin my cool mom reputation by tackling the bikers.
Unlike the party I had attended weeks ago, which was a lot of men and women getting loose, I was surprised to see a number of kids running around the grassed area. This was definitely more of a family gathering.
“Hey! Lexie, Mia!” A voice called to us from a seated area to our left. I relaxed when I saw that it was Gwen and Amy waving at us to come over. With a hand on Lexie’s back, I directed her toward the women.
“Hey,” I greeted as we approached the group. Gwen was sitting in a chair, Belle squirming in her lap as she fastened a hat on her head.
Amy stood beside her, looking like she was about to strut down a runway. Her red hair flowed past her shoulders, and a khaki strapless jersey dress clung to her every curve. My eyes stopped at her feet.
“Oh my gosh, I think I’ve fallen in love,” I declared, gazing at the strappy tan heels which crisscrossed her feet and snaked up her ankles.
My head snapped up to the unfairly beautiful face. “Your shoes are the freaking bomb. I want them. Need them. Would you take payment in the form of my firstborn child?” I gestured to Lexie, who rolled her eyes. “She’s house trained and a great cook...if you like kale,” I added.
“Excuse my mother’s unhealthy shoe addiction problem,” she addressed both Gwen and Amy, “I’m looking into rehab facilities.”
Both women laughed, and Gwen set an excited little girl down at her feet. The little girl ran straight for Lexie, who crouched down to smile and tickle her.
“Don’t worry.” Amy touched my arm. “I can totally hook you up,” she winked.
I smiled back at her, wishing I had the money to take her up on the offer. I glanced to Lexie, who was giggling with the toddler. Totally worth not having fancy shoes.
“You both remember Lexie,” Amy had met her briefly when we had been day drinking and discussing Zane and Gwen at the store when we first moved to town. She had stood up now with Belle in her arms.
“Yeah, who could forget such a beautiful girl with such killer style? Lovin’ the jacket, babe,” Amy exclaimed, looking over the multicolored cropped jacket we bought in the vintage store in Hope.
Lexie blushed slightly; no matter how beautiful she got, she still got embarrassed when people commented on it. “Thanks. Mom and I are seasoned vintage shoppers—we have the eye for it now.” She glanced at Gwen. “Your little girl is adorable.” She smiled down at the baby who was tugging on her curl.
Gwen’s hand rested on her bump, which was prominent thanks to the tight white tank she was wearing. “Yeah, she keeps getting prettier every day, I’m pretty sure her dad’s already polishing his shotgun preparing for the onslaught of boys in about twelve years,” she joked.
I laughed. “Try ten,” I corrected her, remembering the looks Lexie got when she was too young to understand.
Gwen stared at me. “Seriously?”
I nodded somberly.
“Oh man, Cade is
going to go on a murder spree,” she groaned.
“On that note, how about we get a cocktail for you and a soda for Lexie?” Amy suggested with a grin.
“I’d love one,” I answered. More like needed some Dutch courage if Zane was ever going to turn up. I tried to subtly scan the yard for him. My eyes landed on many faces, some who were staring at me and Lexie with interest. I swallowed, turning my attention back to my group. It was safer that way. I so didn’t want to start a brawl in Rosie’s back yard because some biker was looking at my kid the wrong way.
An hour or so later I was feeling happy. Comfortable, at home. I had already gotten to know Amy, Rosie and Gwen well enough and the more I knew the more I liked. I didn’t at all feel like the boring old mom hanging out with the young glamorous beauties. I felt like I was with old friends.
Lexie also got on with them naturally, which didn’t surprise me. She was a polite and sociable kid, who pretty much got along with everyone. She spent most of her time hanging with Lily, a pretty girl who was closest to her age, although she looked about twenty. Lily was also fielding scary stares from Asher, whom I had met before. He was yet another hottie in the club; no visible tattoos but seriously visible muscles. He had actually dragged her away moments earlier and Lexie had grinned at the retreating couple. She was currently chasing a very enthusiastic Belle around the yard, along with a couple of other kids who had taken a shine to her. I smiled as she gathered the toddler up in the air, twirling her around. She seemed oblivious to the glances she got every now and then. One she wasn’t oblivious to was Killian, whose eyes hadn’t left her the moment he arrived. He didn’t seem to be approaching her just yet, merely watching. And, like I had predicted, sending withering glares at the couple of men whose gaze lingered on Lexie a moment too long. I was impressed. How a teenage kid could send menacing looks to hard bikers twice his age and pull it off was anyone’s guess, but he did it.
“You’ve done really well with her, Mia,” Amy said, nodding her head at Lexie.
“You really have,” Gwen agreed from across the table we were sitting at. “I hope that I can do such a great job with Belle. I can’t believe you did it all on your own,” she said, eyes wide. “I was a nervous wreck the first year of Belle’s life. You saved my life that day with the teething thing.” She gave me a warm look of gratitude. “I don’t know how I would have survived without Cade.” Her eyes focused on someone behind me.
I knew it would be Cade, considering he routinely stared at her in the hour I had been here. He’d come over twice to check on her, rub her belly and chat to me. I ignored the green-eyed monster who had reared its head when I saw that, not to mention the interactions between Brock and Amy.
“You’d have done it,” I told her with certainty, tearing my thoughts away from my own longing. I sipped my drink. It was my second and my last, considering I had to drive. “When you’ve got someone counting on you, someone who is your entire world, you find the strength,” I explained.
“Where’s her dad? If you don’t mind me asking,” Amy said softly.
For some reason, I didn’t. I had lied and skirted past every question people asked me about Lexie’s dad. Steve and Ava knew about him, but that was it. Even Lexie was in the dark about what a monster her father was. I glanced around the table at the women who I considered friends, who I trusted.
“He isn’t a good man,” I started quietly. “The worst, actually. I left when Lexie was a baby. You know what I said about surviving?” I asked Gwen.
She nodded, a sad understanding on her face.
“Well, I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I hadn’t left.”
I didn’t add if I hadn’t run. Hadn’t hidden. No matter how much I trusted these women, I couldn’t tell them the whole truth. For my safety. For Lexie’s.
Amy’s hand covered mine. She gave it a squeeze then released it.
“I think we need more drinks,” she declared to the table, winking at me.
“Yeah, ‘cause then we’d be able to settle in for watching young love unfold.” Rosie nodded behind me and all eyes moved in that direction.
I followed her gaze. Killian had dispersed all of the kids and was talking to Lexie. He had his hand at her wrist and his face was close to hers.
“Lexie had a boyfriend before?” Rosie asked, her eyes not moving.
“Nope,” I replied, my eyes not moving either. “They are officially joined at the hip. I think I need to call his parents and let them know their son does still exist, he’s just been sucked into a black hole of adolescent love,” I joked. He had spent all his time at our place over the last couple of weeks.
Lexie had her eyes downcast and Killian’s other hand went to her chin, directing it so her face lifted to his.
A silence settled over the table and I looked to see all of the women’s faces grim. “Kill doesn’t exactly have parents, Mia,” Rosie explained softly.
Well, excuse me while I extract my giant, cork-clad foot from my mouth.
“His dad was a good man, a good father. He died when Kill was about eleven,” she continued. Her face hardened. “His mom’s a junkie, total bitch to boot. Doesn’t give a shit about him. Club’s pretty much raised him,” she told me with sad eyes.
I felt a pang for this poor kid, the one who looked strong and unflappable from the outside. The one who also looked like a whole lot of bad news, but one who treated my daughter with unbelievable tenderness and me with respect. I had already begun to grudgingly like him. This just cemented it. Plus, I knew exactly what it was like to have parents who didn’t give a shit. It sucked. No wonder he gripped onto a girl like Lexie with both hands. Why he was happy to sit with us and watch movies he no doubt hated while we chattered through them almost half the time.
Lucy, who had been quiet, spoke to me. “Despite that, Killian’s actually a real good kid,” she told me with a small smile. “I’ve known him since he was a baby, and despite appearances he’s respectful. He’ll treat her well,” she promised.
“I already know he will,” I told her with a smile.
“Yeah well, if he doesn’t I know he’d have Cade to answer to,” Gwen interjected. “He’s pretty big on treating women with respect.”
“And Brock,” Amy added.
“And pretty much every guy in the club,” Rosie added.
“And me,” I added. “I may not own a shotgun, but I’m thinking of heading down to Walmart to get myself an arsenal.” I may have liked the kid, definitely felt sorry for him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in for it if he hurt my baby.
The women laughed. I wasn’t sure why, considering I wasn’t kidding.
Then I felt it. Something that made my eyes move from Lexie and Killian’s intense looking conversation. It was pressure, heat, anger. I could feel him. His stare. My eyes moved until they settled on dark, stormy, beautiful ones. Zane stood in the doorway that led into Rosie’s kitchen. He was wearing all black, as usual, despite the fact it was scorching. I felt like the temperature went up about a thousand degrees with his glower threatening to set me on fire.
“Mia, why is Bull looking at you like you blew up the Harley Davidson headquarters?” Gwen asked. “Did you guys have a fight or something?” The subject of Zane was surprisingly yet to come up in our chat. The women had all asked about what happened in Hope and had seemed sympathetic of me having to give up my favorite vintage haunt, at least temporarily, but no one had grilled me about my relationship with Zane. It was as if these women had a sixth sense about heartbreak, or at least they were waiting for me to bring it up. Zane’s unmistakable glare had them done waiting.
“Umm,” I drew out my response, willing myself to tear my gaze away, or at least to muster up my own glare. He wasn’t the only one who was angry. I may be trying to convince him not to give up on us, but I was still pissed as hell he did in the first place.
Before I got the chance, his eyes moved. They settled on Killian and Lexie. I didn’t think it was possible for his gaze to tur
n more murderous, but it did. I was surprised Killian didn’t scamper away or beg for mercy once he met it. But the kid stood his ground. I had to admire him for that. Zane stormed his way over there. He hadn’t been around the past two weeks, so he obviously wasn’t privy to the serious relationship that had developed in that time. Which was probably a good thing, considering what he was doing in his blissful ignorance.
Zane barked something at Killian and he reluctantly let Lexie go and stormed into the house, pushing past Zane.
Lexie looked after him with a faraway look in her eye. Her gaze settled on Zane and she beamed, running over to him. To mine and everyone else’s at the table’s utter surprise, she put her arms around him. He seemed to jolt slightly before engulfing her in his giant arms and kissing her head lightly. He pulled back once he had decided he’d shown enough affection without damaging his badass card. His face softened as she chattered away, smiling the entire time.
More than a few men in the crowd were watching in open amazement at his soft face and clipped answers to Lexie’s chattering.
“Is that Bull actually having a conversation?” Amy asked in disbelief.
“And he might actually look like he has the possibility of a smile brewing,” added Rosie, equally gobsmacked.
“And he let Lexie actually touch him in public,” Gwen added with a sad smile. She looked to me. “You’ve fixed him,” she declared weirdly. Her voice held a sad note to him.
“Fixed him?” I repeated in confusion, really needing to get behind the glint in all the women’s eyes. The glint that was connected to the demons in Zane’s. That, I guessed, was the reason Zane was trying so hard to keep his distance.
The ringing of my phone interrupted the conversation, much to my chagrin.
“Sorry, ladies, I’ve got to get this,” I said apologetically. I did, considering I was on call at the hotel and I was sure something would go wrong right when I needed to be exactly where I was.