As my head cleared, images of Woodley and his crew racing away on horseback the night before poured in. “Woodley? Did you get him? Did you find Francis?”
“Try not to think about that right now. You need to rest,” Rasmus said, looking away.
“You didn’t, did you?”
“I can see you’ll not rest until I tell you. They’d pulled anchor and sailed out of Nassau by the time we reached the ship. You were my priority, Ivory, not him or Francis. Anyway,” he said and then sighed. “We found her in the road. He’d gotten all he needed from the lass.”
“She’s dead, isn’t she?” I asked, turning away. He didn’t answer.
Our somber conversation was interrupted by a knock at the door. Rasmus opened it and invited Fin inside, who came bearing my own remedy of potato soup and fruit juice. He explained he’d come, as well, to have a word with Rasmus, alone. Rasmus instructed Fin to meet him in his cabin in an hour, so he could see I had eaten and was without fever.
“It’s good ta see ye awake, mate,” Fin remarked as he walked to the door and said goodbye. “Oh, by the way, that little fella ye picked up in Nassau? Ye were right. He’s a natural born sailor.”
“I’ll return as soon as I’m able,” Rasmus said, again taking my hand and squeezing it before placing a long-awaited kiss on my sore mouth. “Jonathan will see to anything you need while I’m tending to my duties. I know the next couple of days will be boring, so he can even read to ye if you like.”
I couldn’t answer him. I was strangled silent with grief.
“I love ye, Ivory,” he said, as he pulled my hand to his lips. “Sometimes it’s all we can do just to save ourselves.”
Upon our arrival in Port Royal, I was able to stand with a crutch, handily made by my old friend, Mick. He’d proven not only to be a great artist, but just as good with his hands in making things. It was a bit uncomfortable, but at least I was able to walk only three days after having been shot.
Thoughts of Francis still lingered, but I had to let go. Rasmus eased my grief by spending as much time with me as he could spare, and by the grace of God I slept most of the time he wasn’t at my side. I struggled on my crutch, but I was healing well and demanded he allow me some fresh air. All eyes were upon me as I at last emerged into the sunlight so that I could see the land in the distance. Although they barely uttered a word, my crewmates nodded to me, and a few even tipped their hats and smiled. Once I figured out how to use the crutch, I managed to hobble to the bow to watch as we drew closer to Jamaica. The smell of the sea and moist breeze and spray were like a balm. The closer I came to the bowsprit, the more relaxed and soothed I became.
“Well, look at you,” I heard the familiar and sorely missed voice of James Robertson say as he stepped towards me at the forecastle gunnel.
“So you’re alive, and yet you haven’t once come to see me on my sickbed,” I said smartly, leaning my crutch against the rail and holding it tightly to steady myself.
“Of course I’m alive. I’m not the one who ran off and got herself shot,” he said over a laugh. “Do you know how fortunate you are, young lady?”
“Now you address me as young lady?” I scoffed.
“Well, I suppose since the whole ship knows you’re not only a lady but the Captain’s wife at that, calling you a lady shouldn’t come as a shock to you. May I ask what the devil you were thinking, exposing yourself as you have?”
“My objective was never to be a man. I no more wish to be a man than I would a horse or a dog.”
“I certainly hope you’re not comparing animals here.” He smiled.
“Of course not. What I’m saying is, I am a woman. Regardless of my sex, I have always been capable of things outside the reach of women because I had no choice. I wasn’t brought into this world to sit on velvet sofas and sip tea. Can you imagine?” I laughed.
“I must admit,” he said, joining me in laughter and pulling a crate next to me for my seat. “The idea of you draped in lavish fabrics and sipping tea—although a prospect I find curiously appealing in some strange way—is as foreign to my imagination as seeing myself as a farmer or a husband.”
I winced in pain as he carefully lowered me onto the crate. “Shall I take you back to your cabin?” he asked. His face turned from amusement to concern.
“I’m fine. As you can imagine, there is quite a bit of discomfort in being shot.” We laughed again. “Tell me what you’ve heard, James. What are the men saying?”
“To be quite honest, as I always am, I’m shocked they didn’t shoot you themselves.”
“Excuse me?” My eyes flew open at him, and I reached for the gunnel to stand.
“No, no, no… you stay put, now, and hear me out,” he said, pushing me gently back down by my shoulders. “I’m toying with you, my lady. Much to my surprise, we’ve a rather civilized lot and quite progressive, so it seems. Most of the men have found your endeavors as a man to be more than surprising, and I mean that in a good way.”
“Do you mean to say they accept the fact that I am not a man?”
“Accept might be too strong a word. They have, however, come to the consensus that even if you were not the wife of the Captain, they’d consider serving at your side if you were a man, and some have said, based on your performance, they could easily disregard the fact that you’re a woman. Of course, after having been regaled with stories of your strength and bravery, as well as the fact you took a bullet for their Captain…”
“But, I didn’t take a bullet for Razz.”
“My lady, but you did! Had you not stepped out in front of him to defend him in that fight at Valentina’s, it would have most certainly been him and not you who now bear those bloody holes.”
It never occurred to me that when I had leapt from behind him as he handed me my sword, I did, in fact, stand between him and that shot. “My intention was only to fight. I had no idea a shot had even been fired in our direction, until I was hit.”
“Details, my lady, details. Let me assure you, the fact their Captain is whole is more than enough reason to praise you.”
“Praise me? Stop toying with me, James.”
“You are a strand of hair away from what you long for, and yet you scoff at my answers, when you moments ago asked for them?” He leaned forward and looked down at me, and for once, I could see the truth in his eyes, free of his silly jokes.
“You’ve given me hope. Your words have lifted my spirits so that I think I could run up those ratlines again right now. The thought that these men could accept me as a woman, working and sailing at their side, makes my heart swell.”
“Well, let’s get you home for a bit, until you’re healed. Then, when we return, we’ll concern ourselves with that.”
“When you return? So Rasmus fully intends to go after Woodley without me, then?”
“Even you have to admit it’s for the best. You wouldn’t want him worrying about you while he’s trying to capture a brig the likes of the Tainted Rose.”
“A brig? Woodley’s new ship you mean? So, we’re going after her?”
“The same. By the time you all reached the Jade the night you were shot, he’d pulled anchor and headed off south-east. We had sight of them for several hours once the sun came up. We lost her over the horizon. There’s one thing in our favor, though.”
“What could be in our favor by losing sight of her?”
“She ran.”
“How many guns is she?”
“From the distance, it was hard to say, but we estimated at least twenty.”
“And yet she ran. What do you know of Woodley that makes him such a coward?”
“A coward? I assure you, Ivory, nothing could be further from the truth. Rasmus said that some ships run because they have something to hide or something of value they don’t wish to share. Perhaps the Captain decided this wasn’t the time to pursue her, or… ”
“Why didn’t we? They murdered Francis, for Christ’s sake,” I could feel that familiar fury growi
ng in my chest.
“You honestly don’t need to hear me answer that, do you?” James asked, stepping back and leaning against the gunnel.
“No, I suppose I don’t. Of course it’s because of me.” I flattened my lips and then said, “Do you have an idea as to where she’s headed?”
“I’d say either Tortuga or perhaps even Jamaica.”
“Why in the hell would she head to Jamaica?”
“You give Woodley too much credit. How would he know where we were headed? His objective was to flee and live and nothing more. He knew you’d find Francis on the road, and he knows our dear Captain well enough that he couldn’t let such a brutal act against an innocent girl go unanswered.”
“Rasmus is a bloody genius.” I couldn’t believe my ears and how my hardened thoughts of Woodley escaping had blinded me. “His patience is a virtue born of the highest intelligence.”
“I beg your pardon, my lady, but it was my idea to allow him to believe he’d escaped us,” James said over a hearty laugh.
“Here, take my arm and help me. I must speak to Rasmus.”
“Now, why don’t you just wait and allow him to do what he does best?”
I paused and fell deeply into my thoughts for a moment. James was right. I had to have faith in Rasmus that he knew exactly what he was doing and that nothing I could say, and certainly nothing I could do in my condition, would help him in any way. In fact, my injury had done nothing but hinder him. “You’re right. Of course you’re right.”
James knelt down before me and took my hand. “Trust him, Ivory. Do as he says, and I promise you, you’ll not regret it.”
“Just tell me if he plans to attack Woodley before or after he leaves me in Port Royal.”
“After, but it’s for the best. Woodley isn’t a coward, and as you now know, he’s a cold-blooded killer. He’d of thought nothing of taking down this ship and everyone with it, if it meant ridding himself of Big Red Bergman for good—as if he’d be man enough for the task.”
“What happens to men to turn them so evil and cruel?” As the thought of Francis’s fate reached my heart again, the realization that James was most likely right about Woodley brought me back to my senses.
“I choose not to believe any man is born this way. I imagine a great many evil things must have been done to them to harden them so. All men and women, for that matter, have choices to make. Either we fight against those evils or find it easier to allow them to turn our souls black from the pain. For some, inflicting that pain onto others helps to release it. Bearing pain is something we all must do. The struggle is not falling so deeply into that abyss that you can’t turn back.”
His words resonated within me like an echo. I’d allowed my own pain and suffering at the hands of men like Barclay, Rip, and now Woodley, to dictate my actions. I’d unknowingly let them change me for the worst, and in doing so, I’d caused immeasurable pain to others, namely the man I loved. I squeezed James’s hand hard and breathed deeply to relieve the pressure of my own angst at realizing that, as strong and stealthy as I was, at the core of my spirit I was weak. I’d allowed my anger at the world to dictate my actions time and time again and had proved nothing except that, at best, I was unpredictable and brazen.
“Sometimes your brilliance blinds me, James. I’ve been blind in so many ways, but now I clearly see the flaws in me that, deep inside, I’ve always known. Although I’m long on determination and the ability to defend those I love, I am very short on the method in which I have conducted myself in my endeavors to right the wrongs of those who would seek to destroy what little light is left in this world.”
“Rather philosophical of you, one might say. However, knowing you now as I do, I believe you’ve always had the capacity to find your way to this revelation. Although I’d like nothing more than to take the credit, if I didn’t know better, I’d swear you’re growing up.”
James helped me to my feet and slid the crutch beneath my arm. He walked at my side and assisted me when I needed him. For once, I didn’t allow my pride and stubbornness to interfere with what was best for me. I believed, as Cassandra had said, I’d at last handed my shield to someone else to carry for me. Not having to bear the weight of it was freeing, and James, my dear, dear friend, bore my burden without complaint. I believe he actually enjoyed seeing me so vulnerable for once.
TWENTY-FOUR
READY THE GUNS OF FATE
“Weigh anchor, mates!” Rasmus called out as the lines were tossed over to the pier, and the Lady Jade settled in the pale blue, calm waters of Port Royal harbor.
“Kenny? Avast, lad. Carry this letter to the harbor master and hire me a wagon for Missus Bergman.” I watched from my perch upon a barrel as Rasmus shoved a note and coin into the boy’s hand, and Kenny raced down the gangplank immediately as it was lowered.
“Captain, shall I have Missus Bergman’s medical things packed up and brought ashore with her to the Chandler’s?” Master Green asked upon approaching him.
“We’ll be at sea again by nightfall. Leave things as they are for now. We’ve no doctor, but we may need some of those things.” Rasmus turned and looked at me, knowing I’d hung on his every word, and yet I didn’t so much as flinch. He patted Green hard on the back and walked towards me with a smile.
“Well, hello,” I said and smiled up at him. “Will you be coming ashore with me, or will Jonathan be escorting me to the Chandler’s?”
“Why, my lady, I would certainly never ask a boy to do the job of a man.” He winked at me and carried on with his work. I sat there, clutching my journal and staring off over the town, as memories of my journey passed through my mind. I’d written down as much as my hand would allow, and as I read back through it the night before, I was grateful that I could see myself through new eyes—eyes that were now washed clean of my own anger and immaturity.
“Come along, you little pirate queen. I’m to help you to your chariot,” James said as he held out his hand.
“Pirate queen indeed, you smart-ass scallywag. By the way, you’re going to meet the love of your life today. Did you know that?” I asked him as he helped me to my feet and then to the gangplank.
“Aye, yes. One of your ugly cousins, I presume.” He chuckled.
“Not nearly as ugly as you, I can promise you that,” I quipped.
“Robertson, get her in the wagon, and I’ll be along in a moment,” Rasmus called out as James grew impatient with my wobbly pace and scooped me into his arms, carrying me the rest of the way.
I threw my arms around his neck and whispered, “Not worried about those sharks anymore, are you?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I am, but I’ve come to realize that you, my lady, are more dangerous than any shark I could encounter in the sea.”
I burst into laughter and kissed James on the cheek. He’d become more like a big brother than a friend now, and I adored him. I also secretly prayed he’d find one of the girls to his liking, simply so I could torment him for being wrong. I also wondered at the difference in my relationship with Rasmus as compared to the open and playful nature of my feelings for James. I wanted the same laughter with my husband but feared, due to his position of authority and the heavy burdens he had to carry, we might never laugh so loudly, nor feel so free of cares.
I sat in the back of the wagon and watched as my husband—my hero and my heart and soul—walked down the gangplank to join us. He stopped only to give instruction to Kenny to get into the wagon, as he wanted him to see to my needs ashore, and he promised him quite a reward upon his return. Kenny nodded and hopped into the back of the wagon next to me. He kept peering over at me as if he was going to burst. I couldn’t help but hand him the pin to pop. “What is it, Kenny? You’ve obviously something on your mind.”
“You’s on me mind, Missus. That’s all they’s talkin’ about.”
“All who’s talking about, and what are they saying?” I asked him as the wagon’s wheels began to turn.
“The men. T
hey’s all sayin’ what a pip ye are and how they ain’t never met a woman like ye.”
“Well no, I suppose they haven’t, since I don’t imagine they’ve seen any women aboard a ship.” I didn’t know what to say. Having heard James’s version of the men’s opinions, and now this bit of it from Kenny, I had even more hopes of someday serving alongside of them as a woman and being treated as an equal. I pressed on. “Kenny, did they say anything about sailing with me again?”
Kenny looked back at Rasmus and James and then at me, but he didn’t answer. “Kenny, I asked you a question. We’re not aboard the ship anymore. You can speak freely with me now.” I turned and looked at Rasmus and noticed his right ear turned back towards me.
“Not all, but most said they’d seen enough of ye to know you’s a better sailor and fighter than most of ‘em. They all say they’d want ye back as soon as yer able. That there’s the honest truth.”
“Really?” I asked, watching Rasmus turn his full attention back to the road.
“Aye, oh… and they said you wasn’t foolin’ nobody pretendin’ to be a man, but the way I figure it, most of ‘em just didn’t want to admit they’d been tricked.”
“Yes, I suppose that makes perfect sense,” I said with a wink.
“Captain Bergman!” a man shouted as he approached, seemingly out of nowhere, on horseback.
“Whoa,” Rasmus said, pulling the horses to a stop.
“Captain Bergman, thank goodness I caught you. Your note, yes. Yes, she docked a day after you sailed.”
As the man dismounted, Rasmus leapt from the wagon and rushed to his side. I strained to hear what they were saying, but all I could discern through their actions and Rasmus’s look of surprise was that something important had happened concerning a ship.
“Kenny, can you hear them?” I asked in a whisper.
Jaded Tides (The Razor's Adventures Pirate Tales) Page 20