by David Burton
He glanced at the door. Walking into the cafe were two women: Millie and Megan.
Shaun offered a feeble wave. And Megan waved back. Just like the day before, at the airport, which now seemed a lifetime ago.
Megan and Millie came over.
‘Hey,’ Megan said.
Shaun tried to say ‘hi’ but couldn’t, his voice was gone. He cleared his throat and tried again. ‘Hello.’
She looked so grown up and at home in the city, with a shopping bag in her hand and a handbag slung over her shoulder. Her eyes were puffy from crying. What did he look like to her? A pathetic boy, with eyes glazed over from exhaustion and obsession?
Millie leant on the table in an exaggerated performance of casual conversation. ‘Brisbane’s a huge city, course we bloody run into the only two people we know!’
Will gave a weak smile.
Shaun had to clear his throat again to speak, his voice had decided to return. ‘It’s brilliant here, isn’t it?’ he said.
‘Yeah. You guys pumped for the debate? I’ve read your speeches. Tenner sent them to me.’
Shaun looked at the table, the straw lying mutilated in front of him.
‘They’re good!’ Megan said quickly, trying to reassure them.
‘Yours is good too.’ Will grinned. ‘It’s been weird not writing them all together.’
Megan readjusted her bags. ‘Yeah. I’m sorry about that. My dad’s been an idiot. He said I wasn’t allowed to talk to you guys. Especially you.’ She raised her eyebrows at Shaun.
He looked up and met her gaze. ‘I get it,’ he said. ‘It’s all good.’
Millie attempted to lighten the mood. ‘So we’re here on a covert operation.’ She smirked. ‘Our little secret.’
There was a loud shout outside the door. ‘Wait!’ It was Tenner’s voice, and he entered the cafe in a flurry, half-tripping over on the way to them. He was breathless. ‘You three—’ he began, panting and throwing glances at Millie. ‘You three are talking?’
‘Just saying hello,’ said Megan.
‘Yeah. Okay.’ Tenner checked that they knew how to get to the school, then they all said goodbye. Megan offered a brief final wave and headed for the door. Shaun kept expecting her to turn round again, but she didn’t. She disappeared in the crowd.
As Shaun began climbing the enormous stone staircase to the front entrance of the private school, he felt like vomiting. The school looked like Hogwarts with its looming stone buildings and dozens of grand staircases. He half-expected to stumble into a house-elf. By the time they arrived, the sun had already set, so the glowing pathways and lamp-lit corridors made it feel even more other-worldly and unreal. Tenner pointed in the direction of the courtyard and said there was a nice view of the city. They’d driven a long and narrow road uphill to get here. It felt as though they were in the clouds. Shaun knew the school was private, and posh, but he hadn’t imagined anything like this.
It didn’t help that Tenner was a nervous wreck as well. He led them down the wrong corridor several times before they finally found the room. They introduced themselves to the adjudicator. Shaun did his best to smile as he shook the guy’s hand, knowing that his palm was drenched in cold sweat. He and Will had barely looked over their speeches that afternoon. The truth was they just didn’t care. Any time they started talking about the debate, the conversation disintegrated into their theories about Simms and the mysterious text messages. And since their accidental meeting in the cafe, Shaun had also begun to wonder about his chances of being reunited with Megan again. If she was pissed at him she wasn’t showing it. Maybe Millie had talked her round.
So his nerves went up another notch when he saw Megan waiting at the table, nervously shuffling through her palm cards. But now she didn’t really look like Megan. Her school uniform had been ironed. And her face looked different.
‘What’s up with your face?’ said Will.
‘It’s make-up,’ she said slowly, as if Will was a moron. ‘Millie put it on me.’
Will was flustered. ‘Oh. It looks, uh, nice.’
Shaun attempted to smile and say ‘yeah’ confidently, but his body couldn’t manage it. Instead, he coughed for no reason and Megan looked at him. He got his palm cards out of his pocket and started flicking through them.
When the other team came in, Will couldn’t keep his mouth shut. ‘Oh my God!’
Three tall boys, each dressed in an immaculate blazer and shiny black shoes, walked into the room and shook the adjudicator’s hand confidently. Behind them was an entourage of a dozen or so parents and teachers. By comparison, Shaun, Will and Megan looked insignificant. Only Millie and Tenner had come to see them.
‘We’re screwed,’ muttered Will, and Megan hit him on the arm.
The other team shook hands with them. Shaun couldn’t feel a trace of sweat on any of their palms. They were in complete control. They already knew they were going to win. And Shaun knew it too.
Nevertheless, when the debate got underway, he began to hope. As the first speaker for the affirmative, Megan was up, and Shaun was reminded how confident and commanding she was when she spoke.
‘My second speaker, Shaun,’ she said, indicating him, ‘will elaborate on our key points and rebut the opposing team’s arguments.’
When Megan said it like that he almost believed her, but he’d always been hopeless at rebuttals. It meant listening to the opposing team carefully and coming up with arguments super fast. Will was way better at it, which was why he was third speaker.
Megan finished and the crowd clapped politely. Millie let out a loud, slightly inappropriate ‘whoop’ from the back of the room, which made Megan blush. Will and Shaun leant over and whispered congratulations. She relaxed into her chair, her job done for the evening.
The first speaker from the opposing team began. Shaun knew within seconds that their team would win. He was calm, confident and even funny. Shaun had his pen poised over his palm cards, waiting to jot down points that he could rebut, but he couldn’t think of any.
The applause was very loud when their first speaker concluded, and Will patted Shaun on the back as he got up to speak. He took a deep breath, looked down at his palm cards and started. It went by in a quick blur, and even as he was saying it he knew that he wasn’t making enough eye contact, that he didn’t have any rebuttals, that he probably wasn’t speaking loud enough. But he wanted it to be over.
The second speaker on the opposing team was as brilliant as the first. Shaun couldn’t bear to look at Megan and Will. He hated letting them down. But what else was new? His relief turned dark. He felt the tips of his fingers tingling. The room was hot.
What the hell was he doing here? The whole trip had been an onslaught. He just wanted to be home. Now. But he didn’t want to have to speak to his mother. And he didn’t want to think about Tyson or Simms or anyone anymore. The case was too complicated.
The speaker said something to make the audience laugh loudly. Even Will and Megan giggled on either side of him.
He hadn’t made them laugh like that. The adjudicator had a wide grin, his face locked onto the speaker. Shaun hadn’t even looked at the adjudicator.
He could never be a hero. They didn’t have evidence against Simms. There was nothing on Peter except a beer can. Tyson was long buried. His own mother thought he was mental. And he did nothing but let his mates down. He wanted to disappear.
The static in his mind was muted when Will got up and started speaking. He made the crowd laugh in the first 30 seconds without even trying. Shaun couldn’t help but smile. He tried to imagine Will on a stage somewhere, being an actor and becoming famous. And when Will was like this – in front of a crowd, electricity pulsing through him – he could see it.
There were probably more good jokes than solid points in what Will said, but he got a loud round of applause from the room of mostly strangers.
<
br /> Shaun felt more than ever that he wasn’t as talented as either of his friends. He didn’t belong on the team.
When the adjudicator went to the front of the room the result was unsurprising: Shaun’s team lost.
‘But it was close!’ he assured them. Adjudicators always said that, though.
Afterwards, Shaun drifted outside. He needed air. Tenner, Millie and Megan were talking, but he didn’t feel up to joining them. Instead, he made his way to the courtyard. There was the stunning view of the city below them. It was a glowing jewel. From this distance, it seemed make-believe.
‘It’s massive.’ Will sneaked up behind him and Shaun jumped.
A few metres away, basking in their win, was the opposing team. Their laughter echoed off the concrete.
‘Hard to believe we’re even from the same country, isn’t it?’ Will said. ‘Let alone the same state.’
Shaun wanted to apologise to Will for letting the team down. For dragging him halfway across the state because he had a crush on a girl and an idea that they could solve an impossible murder. But Will wasn’t having it.
‘Macca’s run?’ he said.
It was tradition. Every debate, win or lose, a take-out run followed soon after. Normally, they’d go into the little chip shop in their home town. Tonight was different. They travelled down the hill and followed the lights until they found a place, taking the journey in two separate cars.
The restaurant was packed. They stood in line, Will high on the adrenalin of the night, talking wildly and making them all laugh. Shaun felt normal for a second. It was just like any other night.
But after they’d ordered, Will went to the toilet, Millie and Tenner were talking, and suddenly it was just him and Megan. Caught in a little bubble. Shaun knew it would only last a minute, maybe less.
‘Listen, I’m sorry.’ He blurted it out. ‘I’m sorry I lied about the wound on the head. I was an idiot. I’m sorry about everything, really.’
Megan held up her hand. ‘Shaun, it’s okay. I mean – it’s not okay, but I don’t care. Well, I care. But, like, there’s a lot going on right now, and I don’t care about that as much as other stuff, you know?’
He didn’t, but he agreed anyway.
‘Dad’s being an idiot, and Mum’s gone all weird, like nothing’s wrong. Millie’s the only one who’s acting sane. It’s so confusing. They’re saying he drowned himself, but—’
‘Megan, something’s up. I lied about the wound thing, but I did see him. You’ve got to believe me.’
‘I don’t know,’ she mumbled, looking down. ‘I don’t know who to believe. Thank you for the boots, though. They’re the only thing we have. We still haven’t heard if Scotts will return his other stuff.’
He smiled. ‘That’s okay.’
She didn’t look up. ‘But really, Shaun, you should leave it alone. I think it’s just easier if everyone forgets. That’s what I’m trying to do.’
He wanted to put his arm round her. He knew exactly how that felt. All he wanted to do when his dad died was forget it ever happened. He’d tried his best to bury everything. In a way, he’d kind of succeeded.
‘And listen,’ she said, ‘I’m sorry I kissed you. That was super weird of me. I was going through a lot. I think it’s better we just stay friends, okay?’
Shaun swallowed and tried to ignore the walls falling down around him, the floor opening under his feet. The noise of the restaurant threatened to drown him. The worst part was that he couldn’t blame Megan for any of it. If he’d been in her place, he wouldn’t want much to do with him either.
From somewhere else, he recognised Will’s voice. He’d joined them again at the table.
‘Foooooood!’ Will yelled.
Shaun did his best to smile along with the others.
From the sky, Shaun’s home town looked like it was surrounded by yawning black holes. It was epic. The mines were colossal dark wounds in the earth, the town a sort of defiance among the rubble. It was like a god’s sandpit. He pressed his face against the window and watched as the earth turned with the plane. They were coming in to land.
He craned his neck to try and spot his house. Tenner was giving him a lift home. His mother was finishing up at work. At the IGA where Simms had met his mystery person and something had gone down.
‘What are you going to say to her?’ Will had asked a million times.
But Shaun didn’t have a plan. It all seemed pointless now that Megan had given up on him. Even the boots weren’t enough to bring her round.
At the airport, he lumped into the car with Will and Tenner and eventually mumbled a goodbye when they dropped him off. His mum still hadn’t moved the letterbox. It was lying exactly where it had landed after Peter hit it. The postman had even stuck a fresh fold of junk mail into the slot. He would’ve had to get off his bike and kneel down to do it. At least the smashed window had been fixed.
He dumped his bag by the door and went straight to the fridge. He wanted a Coke, but he also wanted to check his mum’s work roster. He drew a line with his finger across the page to get to Tuesday, today. She’d be home any minute. He looked at her hours from the past fortnight. His suspicions were right. She had definitely been at work when Simms set up his meeting with the mystery man. She would’ve seen Peter come for Simms. And Simms was meeting someone to hand over the ‘stuff’, possibly money.
His mum knew way more than she was letting on.
When she came in, Shaun was sitting at the dining table waiting. The sight of it made her smile. But he didn’t respond.
‘There he is,’ she said, ‘my big star. How’d it go?’
He looked at her. ‘Mum, what do you know that you’re not telling me?’
She paused, her keys still dangling in her hand. ‘What?’
He spoke slowly. ‘I said, what do you know that you. Aren’t. Telling. Me?’
She scoffed. ‘I don’t like your tone. What’s got into you?’
His eyes were fixed on the empty glass in front of him. ‘Mum, the night that Peter Grant bashed Henry Simms, you were working. Minutes before Peter found him, Simms was at the IGA.’
Her mouth was open. ‘What? Mr Simms told you this, did he?’
‘It happened at the IGA, didn’t it? Right in front of you.’
She threw her keys on the table and they landed with a heavy clang. ‘Shaun, I don’t like the way you’re speaking to me. What’s going on?’
‘That’s what I’m trying to figure out.’ His mouth was an uneven scowl.
‘Did Mr Simms tell you about what happened?’
He laughed. She was still refusing to give him any information. He couldn’t believe it. ‘He didn’t have to tell me anything,’ he mumbled.
‘What?’ She sighed with frustration. ‘Speak up.’
‘I said,’ Shaun began, his voice rising, ‘he didn’t have to tell me anything.’
‘What does that mean?’
‘The bashing happened at the IGA and you didn’t even mention it,’ he yelled. ‘You just took me to the doctor the next day to see if I was crazy.’
‘Shaun!’ she shouted, her face growing red. ‘Stop. I didn’t tell you because it was none of our business. And I took you to the doctor because I’m your mother and it was the right thing to do. This conversation is over.’
She went into the kitchen, but he followed her. ‘What was he doing at the IGA?’
‘Shaun. Drop it.’ The words barely got past her teeth.
‘Mum, he might be involved in Tyson’s death.’
She was up against the counter, cornered by him. ‘That’s none of our business, Shaun.’
‘None of our business?’
‘Tyson killed himself. Okay? He stumbled into that bloody bathtub and drowned.’
Shaun’s hands were becoming tight fists. ‘He would never do that
,’ he said. ‘It makes no sense. His girlfriend was pregnant. He had a whole life here. A child.’
But she wasn’t listening. ‘Shaun, this is about your dad.’
His eyes were wet with tears and he hated himself for it. It only made him angrier. ‘It’s not! I saw him, Mum! And then he was gone. Simms has something to do with it! He killed him!’
‘No, Shaun.’
‘Yes!’
‘You need to calm down.’
He was breathing fast. He felt red. He saw red. Everything was red. He wanted to break something. He understood how Peter had felt the night he found Simms. He wanted to hit something.
‘Tell me!’ he said, screaming now. ‘Tell me why Simms was there at the IGA before Peter showed up. Who else was there?’
Her voice was firm. ‘Shaun.’
‘TELL ME!’
Suddenly she was afraid of him. Her own son. He could see it. She’d never been afraid of him before. It made him happy and sad all at once.
‘No-one,’ she said. ‘No-one was there. Simms was shopping, I think, and then Peter came in. It was so quick, Shaun. Peter was there and then it started and then the police officer was there – I didn’t even have time to call them.’
‘No-one else was in the store?’
She shook her head. ‘No. What is this about? You need to calm down.’
His mind was racing. If no-one else was in the store, then who had Simms been texting to meet up with?
He breathed hard.
There was only one other person he could’ve been texting.
His eyes were fixed on his mother again. ‘Where’s your phone?’ he said.
‘What?’
‘ARE YOU FUCKING DEAF?’
Her eyes lit with fury. ‘Shaun, stop. You can’t speak to me like that. You’re being crazy.’
He swallowed, his eyes unblinking. ‘Did you have something to do with this?’
‘What? No!’
‘Then show me your phone.’
He knew the phone number didn’t make sense, but his mum could’ve hidden her number, or got another phone.