Shenin watched her go, looking sad. She knew she was pushing Tyler away, but the last thing she wanted to talk about right now was kids again. It broke her heart to watch Tyler walk away, but she knew it was not something she could handle right now. She sat smoking the rest of her cigarette, wondering remotely if Tyler would just leave now. Her heart kicked up at the thought, but her head said, Maybe that’s what needs to happen. Maybe you just need to stop torturing her and let her go… Shenin squeezed her eyes shut, trying to clamp down on the gut-wrenching feeling she had in reaction to that thought.
Tyler walked out the front door to the offices and continued walking, her boot heels striking the sidewalk as she strode down the street. She knew she needed to walk off the anger she was feeling. Part of her wanted to shake Shenin and make her tell her what was going on. It was maddening! She knew something was wrong, she knew something was happening to them, but she didn’t know what and she had no idea how to stop it.
After about an hour Tyler calmed down enough to go back to the offices. She walked into the office Shenin was using and sat down without comment. Shenin glanced at her, but said nothing.
“I got us a flight out of LAX in the morning at nine. We’ll be in Sacramento by ten,” Tyler said after an hour.
“Okay,” Shenin said, nodding, still looking at her computer.
Two hours later they left the office. A song came on Shenin’s iPod in the car that Tyler had heard before. She turned it up, pointedly looking at her wife. The song was by Adele, and it was called “Water under the Bridge.” The words talked about how it was impossible that she wasn’t the one for her, and if that was possible then why had they been through so much together.
At that point in the song, Tyler reached over and touched the scar on Shenin’s arm from where she’d been shot while in Iraq. The song continued and the chorus was pointed. The chorus song basically asked that if she was going to leave her, to do it softly, that their love wasn’t just something in the past.
As the song ended, Tyler turned the radio back down, looking over at Shenin. She could see that Shenin had listened to the words carefully. Shenin glanced over at her seeing Tyler looking at her.
“Let you down gently?” Shenin asked, her tone affected.
“Let me down, let me go… Whatever you’re planning…” Tyler said, slightly choked.
“Ty, I’m not planning anything,” Shenin said, her voice quavering.
Ty looked back at her, skepticism evident on her face.
Shenin swallowed convulsively, even as that little voice told her, She’s giving you an opening… take it… She shook her head, as much to tell the voice No! as it was to try and make sense of all her thoughts.
“I just can’t get a handle on things right now, Ty…” she said, her voice trembling.
“Then let me help babe…” Tyler said, reaching over to take Shenin’s hand. She was surprised at how cold it was.
Shenin shook her head. “There’s nothing you can help with, Ty. I just need to get things squared away in my head…”
Tyler nodded, doing her best not to be hurt by Shenin’s refusal to let her in.
“You scare me when you get so quiet…” Tyler told her.
“I know, I’m sorry,” Shenin said. “I’m really doing the best I can at this point.”
Tyler nodded, still feeling her stomach clenching.
“There’s just so much distance between us babe…” Tyler said.
“Well, there is, Ty,” Shenin said. “About thirty-six hundred miles.”
“Babe, I’m right here and there’s distance between us,” Tyler said, squeezing Shenin’s hand gently.
Shenin nodded sadly, knowing that Tyler was right, but not sure how to fix it.
Chapter 5
“So genius, huh?” Ashley asked Jet, glancing over at her friend as she drove.
“Jesus,” Jet said, shifting gears and rolling her eyes at the same time. “Fadiyah told you that?”
Ashley laughed. “I think she’s very proud,” she said, smiling.
Jet gave her a foul look. “Shut up.” Ashley chuckled.
“Let’s talk about your weekend…” Jet said, her voice trailing off suggestively.
“What about it?” Ashley asked, her smile wide.
Jet caught the smile and laughed. “He’s that good, huh?”
“And then some,” Ashley said, nodding.
Jet nodded too. “Well, good, I’d say you could use that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ashley asked as she swatted Jet on the arm.
Jet only laughed, shaking her head.
After a few minutes of silence, Jet looked over at Ashley. “You’re being careful, right?”
Ashley looked over at Jet stunned. “Are you asking if we’re using condoms? Or if I’m taking birth control?”
Jet made an impatient sound in the back of her throat. “No, you idiot. I’m asking if you’re guarding your heart.”
“Why?” Ashley asked, surprised by the question.
Jet looked over at her, her expression telling Ashley that she was hoping she wasn’t serious with that question.
“Why do you think I should guard my heart?” Ashley asked.
“Because Baz is me in male form,” Jet said simply.
Ashley looked back at Jet, knowing that what she’d just said was very true, but not sure how to respond. Finally she nodded.
“I know that,” Ashley told Jet.
“Do you?” Jet asked, unsure.
“Yeah, I do,” Ashley said. “But I can’t help that.”
“You can help that by not falling in love with him,” Jet said.
“Really?” Ashley said sharply. “Like I did not falling in love with you?”
Jet winced at her words. “Once bitten… Right?”
Ashley caught the look on Jet’s face and wanted to let her feel it for a minute, but knowing it wasn’t fair to her.
“You didn’t do it on purpose, Jet, I know that,” Ashley said. “Hell, I don’t think you even realized you were in love with Fadiyah before you got her back here.”
“But you did,” Jet said.
“Yeah, I did,” Ashley said, sighing.
“So, why can’t you be so pre-cognitive with him?” Jet asked.
“I can,” Ashley said. “And I am, trust me.”
Jet drew in a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “I hope so…”
“I am,” Ashley assured her.
“’Cause if he hurts you, I’m gonna have to do something about that, you know that right?” Jet said then.
Ashley looked over at Jet, expecting to see a grin, but she was shocked to see that the look on Jet’s face was serious.
“No, you would not,” Ashley said, her tone shocked.
Jet shrugged, looking unaffected by Ashley’s denial.
“Jet, what the hell do you think you’d do? He’s an ex-Army Ranger for God’s sake!”
Jet nodded. “Yeah, I’d probably get my ass kicked, but…” She let her voice trail off as she shrugged again shaking her head.
“Why?” Ashley asked, still not understanding Jet’s logic at all.
“Because he knows your history with me,” she said, her face serious. “And he knows that he’s in a position to really hurt you, and that should make him think twice. I’d make him think again.”
Ashley looked back at Jet, unable to believe what she was hearing. The idea of Jet and Sebastian in a physical altercation was beyond insane.
“Why would you do that?” Ashley said, still trying to understand.
Jet looked over at her, her look going from glowering to roguish. “’Cause I love ya, kid,” she said, smiling.
Ashley smiled back at Jet, tears inexplicably in her eyes suddenly.
“Quit that,” Jet said, reaching her hand over to squeeze Ashley’s hand.
Ashley nodded, swallowing convulsively to try and force her emotions back down. Her relationship with Jet was still a bit of a tangled mess. She
loved the woman, but she knew that Jet’s heart wasn’t available. She adored Fadiyah and had been part of the reason Fadiyah and Jet had finally gotten together. It was bittersweet to see them together, since it was obviously love and how could she get in the way of that?
She knew her relationship with Sebastian was likely doomed, because Jet was right, he was just like her, not really into commitment. The way Ashley saw it, they had really great sex, and it was a perfect distraction from Jet and the hurt there.
She was thinking along those lines a couple of days later when she walked into Sebastian’s apartment. He’d given her a key, telling her that if she just needed to get out of Jet’s house for a bit, she could come there.
“Sebastian?” she called at the front door.
“Back here,” he called.
Ashley walked into his bedroom; of course he had music on. She looked over and saw him lying on the bed, one arm thrown up above his head casually, wearing sweatpants and nothing else. He was definitely an incredible specimen of a man.
“You look tired,” she said, as she walked over to the bed, seeing the cut on his cheek. “Ow,” she said, sitting down and gently touching his face. “What happened?”
Sebastian grinned. “Suspect decided he wanted to try for the heavyweight title,” he said, his tone wry.
“I take it he looks worse?” Ashley asked, chuckling.
Sebastian narrowed his eyes at her comically. “Of course he does.”
Ashley laughed softly, nodding. “Still the champion, huh?”
“Yep,” he said, lowering his arm, to touch her waist.
She leaned down, kissing his lips softly. He reached up with his other arm, putting his hand to the back of her head to hold her there, to kiss her again. In one smooth motion, he moved to sit up, and pulled her into him, deepening the kiss, his hand at her waist, moving to her back to pull her closer still.
Within moments, Ashley was breathless, her hands grasping at his shoulders, her nails biting into his skin. Pushing up the skirt she wore, she moved to straddle his lap, pressing against him, and making him gasp against her lips. Moving her hands over his chest, she moved her lips to kiss his neck, feeling him grasping at her back as she did. Her hands moved downward, pushing at the waistband of his sweatpants. His hands met hers, and moments later he was inside her. It was an erotic feeling that both of them still had clothes on, and it was what spurred Ashley to greater heights. She came, screaming his name and holding onto him desperately. He gave a shout a moment later, unable to hold on any longer.
Afterwards he held her against him, both of them panting.
“Jesus woman…” he breathed.
Ashley lifted her head, looking at him with a smug smile. “What?”
“Don’t what me, you know damned good and well what…”
Ashley chuckled, reveling in the power she felt at that moment. She knew she had pushed him to his limit and felt absolutely fantastic that she’d been able to do just that.
“Liking that, huh?” he said, his tone knowing.
“I gotta say, yeah, I am,” Ashley said, nodding, her eyes sparkling.
Sebastian looked at her for a long moment, his look considering. His hands slid over her blouse then, unbuttoning it and laying the sides open, his eyes on hers the entire time. Sliding his hands around her bare torso, she felt him unclip her bra, his eyes still on hers. She felt her breathing become uneven as his hands nudged the material of the bra out of the way, his thumbs brushing upward across already hard nipples. She moaned, lowering her head to his neck and biting his skin.
He removed the rest of her clothing and made love to her again. They spent the better part of the evening in that fashion.
Two weeks later Ashley walked into his bedroom again. This time he was wearing shorts and a tank top, but was in much the same position. When he heard her come in, he lifted his arm off his eyes.
He glanced at the clock. “How friggin’ long did it take you to get here?” he asked.
“Like forever and a day!” she said. “Traffic in this town sucks!”
“Well, Jet’s is pretty far from here,” he said.
She nodded, walking over to the side of the bed.
“Are you ever going to look less tired?” she asked him, having noticed a pattern over the last two weeks that she’d been coming to see him.
“I’m beginning to wonder myself.”
Ashley kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, laying herself next to him and then leaning up over him to kiss his lips. He put his arm around her kissing her back.
Things got heated right away, but Ashley muttered, “Mmm Mmm” against his lips, shaking her head.
“What?” he asked, grinning.
“Have you eaten anything for dinner yet?” she asked him pointedly.
He grinned.
“And that’s a big fat no,” she said, shaking her head as he reached for her again. “Oh no, mister, food first. ’Cause if I know you, you didn’t eat lunch either, did you?”
“Well, sure,” he said, grinning.
“Liar!” Ashley said, laughing as she did, trying to avoid his hands.
“We can eat later, c’mere…” he said, pulling her to him again. Ashley kissed him, but then pulled her head back.
“Sebastian Bach, stop it!” she said, doing her best to scowl at him.
“What?” he asked, his voice amused.
“You need to eat,” she told him, her voice stern, even if her eyes were dancing with humor.
He made an impatient sound in the back of his throat.
“Don’t give me that…” she said, moving to get off the bed.
She went into his kitchen and picked up a few menus of places she knew delivered fairly quickly. Walking back into the bedroom she moved to sit next to where he was lying on the bed.
“Okay, your options are…” she began, even as his hand slid over her thigh.
“Can this be an option?” he asked, sliding his hand up her leg.
“Stop it!” she said, laughing. “No! You need actual food. Now, Chinese or pizza?”
“I don’t care,” he said, moving to nuzzle her side.
“You are not getting laid until you eat something, Mr. Bach,” she said.
“That’s harsh,” he said, moving to sit up.
“That me, Ms. Harsh,” she said, making a face at him.
“Fine, Chinese,” he said sighing.
“Okay, what do you want?” she asked.
“I’ll show you…” he said, grinning.
“From the menu, if you please,” she said, her tone prim.
Again he made an impatient sound and said. “Fine, something… something beef.”
Ashley laughed, shaking her head. She picked up her phone and made the call.
Hanging up a few minutes later she said. “They’ll be here in ten minutes.”
“What are we going to do with all this time?” he asked, moving to kiss her neck.
“Mmm…” she murmured. “It’s not that long…” she said, her voice husky suddenly.
“It’s forever,” he said, sliding his hand around her. He pulled her back against his chest, reaching up to move her hair so he could have better access to her neck.
Her hands grasped his arm that was around her as she moaned softly. His arm tightened at her waist, his mouth closing on her neck, sucking as his thumb brushed upward over her nipple. She gasped, dropping her head back against his shoulder. He moved his thumb rhythmically over her nipple as his other hand slid down into her shorts. Within moments she was coming and writhing against him.
“Maybe ten minutes isn’t so long after all,” he said, grinning.
“Oh my God, you are so evil,” she said, her voice still heated.
He stuck his tongue between his teeth playfully, waggling his eyebrows. The doorbell rang. Ashley moved to get up, and Sebastian reached for his wallet on the nightstand.
“I’ve got it,” Ashley said. His hand grabbed hers, pulling her back down
on the bed.
“I don’t think so,” he said, opening his wallet and handing her his credit card.
“I said I’ll pay for it,” Ashley said.
“And I said, that’s not gonna happen.”
“Sebastian…”
“Ashley…”
“They’re going to leave…”
“Then I guess I get what I really want for dinner,” he said, sliding his tongue over her neck. She shivered in response.
“Okay, okay,” she said, moving to stand up.
Sebastian grinned. Ashley came back with boxes, forks and beers, handing him one of each. They sat on the bed, eating in companionable silence. Once they finished eating, Ashley got up and took the left overs, the empty bottles and dirty forks into the kitchen. Sebastian lay on the bed thinking that this felt good.
Ashley walked back into the bedroom again then.
“Done being all domestic?” he asked her with a grin.
“For now,” she said, “but we should definitely talk about what’s in that fridge of yours…”
Sebastian chuckled, holding his hand out to her. She took his hand and he pulled her down next to him, he immediately kissed her and started to remove her clothing piece by piece. She did the same to him. He made love to her then and she found that no matter what, he could always excite her beyond all reason. Once again they lay together, trying to catch their breath. Sebastian’s hand stroked her skin, as he looked up at her.
“So, how’s it going with moving out of Jet’s?” he asked, trying not to sound too interested. He knew his attitude about Jet bugged her.
“LA is outrageously expensive,” Ashley said, making a face.
“I know, trust me,” he said, grinning.
“I’m not really making as much doing the freelance stuff,” she said, shrugging. “So it’s really not good for me to try to make a commitment to paying rent for an apartment when there might be months I don’t sell a story. I’m really not sure what I’m gonna do.”
Sebastian nodded, his look thoughtful.
“Well you’re here a lot,” he said.
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