Water under the Bridge

by Sherryl Hancock

  “She has promised me that she will never do that again,” Fadiyah said, smiling over at Jet.

  “Well, that’s a good thing,” Todd said, winking at Jet.

  “Yes, it is,” Marcel said, nodding.

  “You guys look exhausted,” Jet said. “Any chance I could get you two to take my girl home so you can all get some sleep?”

  “Not likely,” Todd said, looking over at Fadiyah. “Your girl has refused to move from your side for the last forty eight hours.”

  “Babe…” Jet said, looking over at Fadiyah.

  Fadiyah folded her arms, looking at Jet. “My place is with you.”

  Marcel smiled. “How can you argue with that logic?”

  “I can’t,” Jet said, smiling at Fadiyah. “But I can kick you two out of here,” she said, looking at her parents. “Go, get some sleep, please.”

  Marcel and Todd looked at each other, nodding, knowing that it was taxing on Jet’s strength to have too many people around her anyway.

  “You win,” Todd said, smiling and leaning down to kiss his daughter’s cheek. “But we’ll be back tomorrow.”

  “We will see you both tomorrow, honey,” Marcel said, leaning down to kiss Jet.

  They both kissed Fadiyah’s forehead before they left. Jet watched, seeing the smile on Fadiyah’s face.

  “Oh, look who’s back in the land of the living,” Sebastian said, as he walked into the room with Ashley right behind him.

  “Jet!” Ashley cried, rushing over to lean down and hug Jet carefully.

  “Hi Ash…” Jet said, smiling. Then she heard Ashley sniffle. “And stop that right now,” she said, narrowing her eyes.

  “Sorry,” Ashley said, wiping at her tears, even as she smiled.

  Jet held her hand up to Sebastian then saw the bandages on his hands.

  “What happened?” Jet asked.

  “How about we worry about you for a minute, Jet Fire,” Sebastian said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. “You scared the shit out of me,” he said, looking down into her eyes.

  “Not on purpose,” Jet said smiling.

  “Don’t care,” he said. “Don’t do it again.”

  “Sir, yes sir,” Jet said, grinning.

  “You used up a few of your lives on this one, young lady,” he told her.

  “Well, I know at least one,” she said, looking over at Fadiyah.

  “Try four,” he said, his look serious.

  “Eesh,” Jet said, looking surprised. “How are Sky and Jams?” she asked then.

  “They weren’t badly hurt in the crash,” Sebastian said. “Sky’s been a wreck though.”

  Jet drew in a deep breath, blowing it out and nodding. “It wasn’t her fault, though, she knows that right?”

  Sebastian gave her a perplexed look. “They’re still investigating the cause,” he said. “Why, what do you know?”

  “There was a sound like a rattling, before all hell broke loose, and then a screech of metal, like something sheering off… That helicopter was fucked up, Baz, the comms didn’t even work.”

  Sebastian looked contemplative, then nodded. “I’ll get them looking in that direction, Midnight wants answers, and she’s going to get them. But I tend to wonder if she was going to get the right ones… This will help, Jet Fire, good job,” he said, winking at her.

  Jet looked at Fadiyah. “I need to see Sky,” she told her.

  Fadiyah nodded, getting up and leaving the room to get Skyler. Ashley and Sebastian left when Skyler entered the room. Sebastian leaned over and kissed Skyler on the forehead as he passed her. Fadiyah also left them alone.

  Skyler walked over to the bed, looking down at Jet, her look dazed.

  “Sky,” Jet said, holding up her hand.

  Skyler looked at Jet’s hand, and then took it, moving to sit down next to the bed. “Jet, I’m so sorry…” Skyler began.

  “No,” Jet said, shaking her head. “You have nothing to be sorry for, that helicopter was fucked up, Sky.”

  “What?” Skyler asked.

  “Something broke,” Jet said. “I don’t know what the hell it was, but something sheared off right before the helicopter went nuts, they need to figure out what happened. You know the comms were all fucked up, and there was a sound like a rattling before I got up to come tell you about it. That’s when there was that shriek of metal and then everything went to shit…”

  Skyler looked at her for a long moment, her thoughts obviously racing. “The controls went cold…” she said. “Jams said we lost our rotor… If the vertical stabilizer ripped… Took out the rotor…” She was muttering to herself and Jet could see that she was coming out of her fog.

  “Got some thinking to do, huh?” Jet asked.

  Skyler looked at her, shaking her head. “You may have just saved my career,” She said, smiling and feeling a bit like a weight had lifted off her.

  “Anytime,” Jet said.

  Skyler gave her a serious look then. “We watched you die,” she said, her tone grave, the look in her eyes devastated.

  “Believe me, it was never the plan,” Jet told her. “And if it makes you feel any better, I’ve been told that I’m not allowed to do it again, ever,” she said, with a grin.

  Skyler looked back at her. “I have never seen someone as devastated by a loss as Fadiyah was, you could hear that wail throughout the hospital.”

  Jet’s look flickered. “I heard it,” she said, a bit bewildered. “I don’t know how, but I heard it… And I’ll never forget it.”

  “Don’t,” Skyler said, “because that my friend was true devotion.”

  Jet nodded, looking affected.

  “You need to get some sleep,” Jet said, getting tired again herself. She reached out for Skyler’s hand, and squeezed it gently. “Please take care of yourself, Sky. And stop blaming yourself, it was not your fault.”

  Skyler nodded, starting to look like she believed it.

  Getting up, she leaned over to kiss Jet on the head. “Don’t fuckin’ scare me like that again,” she said, her eyes staring down into Jet’s.

  “Roger that,” Jet said, grinning.

  Skyler left then and Fadiyah came back in. Jet was already getting tired, so Fadiyah simply sat, stroking her hand until she fell asleep.

  Jet woke an hour later. She was lying on her side looking at Fadiyah. The girl was curled up in an uncomfortable looking chair, trying to sleep and very obviously failing.

  “Fadi,” Jet said, reaching her hand out to touch Fadiyah’s leg.

  “Hmmm?’ Fadiyah murmured tiredly.

  “Honey, you can’t sleep that way,” Jet said.

  “I can,” Fadiyah said, getting a stubborn tone in her voice.

  “Baby, come here,” Jet said, holding out her right arm.

  “What?” Fadiyah asked softly, not understanding what Jet wanted.

  “Come here, babe…” Jet said, touching the bed next to her.

  “But…” Fadiyah said, shaking her head.

  “Come here, or I’m coming over there,” Jet said, grinning at the implausibility of her own statement, but it was enough to convince Fadiyah.

  Fadiyah climbed carefully into the bed with Jet, careful to avoid the wires to the monitors and rested her head in the hollow of Jet’s shoulder, sighing as she did. Jet carefully put her arms around Fadiyah, feeling better herself. Moments later they were both asleep.

  Later during the night the nurse came to take Jet’s vital signs, she was surprised to find the dark haired girl in bed with her patient. Jenny, the nurse, like many others in the hospital that evening had been on duty the night Jet Mathews had ‘died’ and the dark haired girl had wailed eerily. Jenny was very happy to see that Jet had not only been spared, but seemed to be doing well now. As Jenny checked Jet’s pulse, with her hand on Jet’s wrist, she looked over to see that Jet’s eyes were open tiredly. Jenny smiled at Jet, who smiled tiredly in response, then closed her eyes again and was asleep immediately. In all her life, Jenny wished for a love like th
ese two obviously had.

  Across town Sebastian and Ashley were lying in bed, her head on his chest, his eyes staring up at the ceiling as he absently stroked her shoulder.

  Ashley turned to look up at him. “I heard what you did the day of the crash.”

  Sebastian looked down at her, his look somber.

  “Climbing into a helicopter that’s on fire,” Ashley said, her look concerned. “That’s pretty brave, Sebastian.”

  “Brave or crazy?” he asked her.

  “A little, or maybe a lot, of both,” she said.

  He nodded. “You know I had to,” he told her.

  Ashley nodded. “I know, it’s who you are.”

  He nodded again. “I couldn’t leave her in there.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t,” she said. “As much for her, as for you.”

  “For me?” he asked, surprised by her statement.

  “You’d never have forgiven yourself, Sebastian.”

  He looked back at her for a long moment, and then nodded. “You’re right about that.”

  “I know,” she said, smiling. “And I love that about you.”

  “Might have loved me a little less if I hadn’t gotten out in time…” He said.

  “Well, you would have been a little harder to love, since you’d have been dead,” she said, her words sounding like she was joking, but her eyes belying those words.

  “Well, I’m not.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  His hand reached up to touch her cheek, bandages still in place. “I love you.”

  She moved to kiss his lips, then kissed each of his hands. “I love you.”

  They were both silent for a few minutes, Ashley’s fingers touched the bandages on his hands gently.

  “Are your hands going to be okay?” she asked him.

  Sebastian shrugged slightly. “The doctor said that there’s a surgeon who can fix any damage, but he’s expensive. Jet’s dad said he’d pay for whatever I needed… Not sure how I feel about that.”

  Ashley moved to lever herself up on her elbows to look down at him. “If you don’t, Jet’ll just do it,” she told him, knowing Jet owed Sebastian her life.

  Sebastian pursed his lips. “Figured as much, yeah.”

  “Dangerous stuff, saving people’s lives,” Ashely said, grinning. “They tend to be grateful.”

  “Damnit,” he said, winking at her.

  “Oh, I almost forgot!” Ashley said suddenly.

  “What?” Sebastian asked.

  “Juliet is coming for a visit next week,” Ashley told him.

  “Uh,” he stammered, surprised.

  “I told her about the accident and all and she wants to come see you,” Ashley told him.

  Sebastian grimaced. “God…” he said, sounding like the classic big brother.

  “Sebastian, she loves you and she wants to make sure you’re okay.” He blew his breath out in consternation, but nodded all the same.

  ***

  For two days, Tyler had not left Shenin’s bedside in the hospital, not to eat, not to sleep; only for the very basic needs, and then she was straight back in the chair watching her wife. Skyler had come in to see Shenin the evening they’d gotten to the hospital. Tyler had hugged Skyler, thanking her over and over for saving Shenin’s life. She knew that if Skyler had not gone to the apartment and found Shenin when she did, Shenin would not be alive. Skyler had been deeply affected by the event and it had taken both Devin and Jet to talk her down. Muffit had been cleaned and was now, much to the hospital administrator’s horror, lying right next to Shenin on the hospital bed. She would frequently put her paw on Tyler’s hand that was clasped in Shenin’s, and move to lick Tyler’s face as well.

  When Shenin finally opened her eyes, Tyler was there, her bright blue eyes were the first thing Shenin saw.

  “There’s my girl…” Tyler said, smiling down at Shenin.

  “Ty…” Shenin whispered.

  “Right here, honey… right here,” Tyler said, squeezing her hand gently.

  Shenin nodded, closing her eyes slowly, then opening them again and looking at Tyler. “I heard you…” she said, her voice soft.

  “I love you,” Tyler said, leaning down to kiss Shenin’s lips softly. “As long as I have you, I have everything I’ll ever need.”

  Shenin’s eyes filled with tears then, spilling over as she closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Ty…” she said, her voice mournful.

  “You’re still here, baby, you’re still with me,” Tyler said, tears in her own eyes. “That’s all the matters.”

  Shenin nodded, closing her eyes again.

  There had been a note found in Shenin’s bedroom at the apartment. It read:

  “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to tell you everything… I couldn’t hurt you like that… I’m sorry I’m not strong enough to withstand this pain… I love you, Tyler, I will always love you.”

  Tyler had been physically sick upon reading it. She’d crumbled it up and thrown it away.

  She was never going to let her wife feel this low again. She didn’t care what it took.

  ***

  The night Shenin was released from the hospital, she lay in bed, watching her wife move around the room as she got ready for bed. She was still feeling very shell-shocked by everything that had happened. They’d heard about Jet the day before, and Tyler had gone over to that wing of the hospital to check in on her, even if it was only for an update. Shenin had been released only that afternoon, as she’d been on a seventy-two hour hold for a suicide watch. Only fast talking and some help from other sources had kept Shenin out of the psych ward.

  Tyler moved to the bed, getting in and laying down, pulling Shenin into her arms immediately.

  “Jet’s okay?” Shenin asked, not for the first time that night.

  “Yes, honey, she’s okay,” Tyler confirmed.

  Shenin nodded, looking pensive. Tyler reached up to stroke Shenin’s cheek with her hand, pressing her lips to Shenin’s forehead. They lay quietly for a few minutes, then Shenin looked up at Tyler.

  “Ty…” she began, her eyes looking haunted. “I know… that there’s a lot of things I need to tell you…” she said, her voice hesitant.

  “About Iraq?” Tyler asked gently.

  Shenin’s eyes reflected surprise, but she nodded slowly.

  “You don’t have to tell me, Shen,” Tyler said, her look searching. “Jet told me, everything.”

  Shenin’s eyes widened in surprise, then took on an angry look.

  “Babe, don’t get mad at her, I kind of forced her hand,” Tyler said, grimacing.

  “What did you do?” Shenin asked, looking worried.

  “I kinda punched her.”

  “Oh my God, Ty…” Shenin breathed.

  “Yeah, I know, it was stupid,” Tyler said. “But I was desperate at that point.”

  Shenin nodded her head, understanding what Tyler meant. Things had gone really sideways at that point and there didn’t seem to be any way to stop it from happening. When she had awoken from the nightmare, she’d seen Tyler as the man who’d raped her repeatedly, and all she’d wanted to do was to get away. Even when Tyler had told her it was her, Shenin’s mind wouldn’t accept it and she kept fighting to get away. In her mind if she just fought a little bit harder, he wouldn’t have succeeded, and wouldn’t have killed her marriage. It had been that thought that had led to the punch to Tyler’s face. It had been that punch and Tyler’s walking out that had led to her actions on the kitchen floor.

  “I’m so sorry, Ty…” Shenin said, her voice breaking as tears slid down her face.

  She shook her head, knowing that there was nothing she could do now to erase what she’d done, that nothing was going to take that memory away for Tyler.

  “Can you tell me what was going through your mind?” Tyler asked, her voice gentle.

  Shenin drew in a deep breath, her eyes unfocused as she carefully worked her way around the memory.

  “When I hit you,
and you left…” Shenin said, looking up at Tyler. “I thought to myself, that I had just done it… finished it… I was done…” she said, her voice trailing off as Tyler pulled her in close, doing her best not to blame herself for everything. “I just thought it would be easier for everyone if I wasn’t here anymore. You could move on with your life, find someone that wasn’t so fucked up…”

  “Oh babe…” Tyler said, tears in her eyes now. “No…” she said, shaking her head. “I can’t live without you, Shenin. I’m not saying that for effect, I mean every word. If I had lost you… I don’t think I would have hung on for long,” she said, her tone tremulous. “You are my life, Shen, and if you aren’t here, I don’t want to be here either.”

  Shenin looked back at Tyler, surprised by what she was saying.

  “But Ty… your family, your parents…” she said, thinking about all the people who would be affected by Tyler’s death.

  “Shenin,” Tyler said, her hand on Shenin’s chin, tilting her face up to hers. “You are all that matters to me. If I have you, I have everything I need.”

  Shenin looked back at her wife for a long moment, trying to take in what Tyler was saying. No one had ever valued her on this level before, and she found it hard to believe anyone could.

  Tyler could see that Shenin was struggling with what she was hearing. Part of Tyler knew that Shenin was never going to believe everything she was saying, but it was Tyler’s hope that if Shenin at least took some of it in, it would help heal the some of the wounds that had allowed her to take such drastic steps to end her pain.

  Holding Shenin’s face in her hands, Tyler looked down into her eyes. “I need to apologize to you,” she said, her voice gentle, but strong.

  “Ty…” Shenin said, starting to shake her head.

  “Shen, please let me finish,” Tyler whispered.

  Shenin bit her lip, nodding, her eyes reflecting worry about what Tyler was trying to apologize for.

  “No, I’m not apologizing for Iraq,” Tyler said, knowing it was exactly what Shenin was thinking. The look on Shenin’s face then, proved she was right. “I know there was no way I could have been there, or could have known what would happen, so it’s something that I need to put aside. What I am going to stop putting aside,” she said, looking more intent, “is you.”