He wanted more. She could feel it.
Neil had wanted more, too. She hadn’t been ready for more but had agreed anyway. And now? How could she be ready for more with Brady when she’d only been apart from Neil for a handful of months? It was too soon. Made no sense.
Plus, she wasn’t staying here and Brady was a Cove fixture. He wouldn’t give up his life to be a city cop. He loved Evergreen Cove.
“I’m flattered,” she said, trying to sound as neutral as possible. “But great sex isn’t a foundation on which to build a future.”
His jaw hardened, his eyes with it. “Why not?”
She laughed. When he didn’t, she compressed her lips. Maybe she could blame the wine for her lack of clarity. She was tired. It was late. She hadn’t prepared for an argument, if that’s what this was. She’d assumed when she told Brady he’d react like Neil and just… let her go. But Brady wasn’t Neil. She should’ve expected more.
“We don’t have to end things tonight,” she clarified as she pulled a mug and tea from the cabinet. “I was giving you a heads-up.”
And giving myself an out.
“What’s the rush?” he asked. “You have a job here. You have friends you like. You have me.”
Her heart ka-thumped. Her head swam. Brady was supposed to be a fun, temporary fling. What he was saying…
You have me.
She didn’t think he meant for a few days or weeks. He meant… She couldn’t fathom what he meant. Her hand resting on her stomach, she tried to calm herself by taking a deep breath.
“I know you were mistreated by someone who should’ve cared about you,” he said, his voice as hard as his expression. “I know you’d like to lump me into a pile with that piece of shit, but I am not him, Elli Bean.”
That was true. Brady was more of a man than Neil could ever aspire to be. Still…
“I’m not ready for anything serious.”
He drew away from her, stung.
“I don’t need rescuing like Lila.” Hearing her name, the dog padded into the room, her tail wagging. The teakettle screeched. “I can rescue myself.”
“Do I make you feel trapped? Smothered? Do I demand you do things you don’t want to do?” He folded his arms over his substantial chest and glared at her.
He hadn’t made her feel anything but safe, happy. Sexy. But…
“You’re making me feel trapped now,” she admitted.
“By telling you I don’t want you to leave? How’s that trapping you, Elli? I didn’t say you couldn’t leave. I’m not manipulating you into a decision. I’m telling you—and this isn’t easy for me, by the way—that I don’t want you to live in Chicago, because I don’t want you to forget about Evergreen Cove.” He swept his tongue over his bottom lip before he added, “Or me.”
She stared. Speechless. Shocked. He didn’t let up.
“I lost my parents when I was a kid. Lost my gram when I was a teenager. I’ve experienced some deep, dark hurts over the years.”
“Join the club,” she said, her defenses sky-high. She did that when she was afraid, and his confessions were scaring her. Shakily, she poured hot water into her mug.
“I’m not saying I cornered the market.” He was calm. And kind. So kind. “Losing people I loved wasn’t in vain. Because of the bad, I recognize the good. You and me? We’re the good. I know this isn’t on your timeline.” He paused to let out a short laugh. “It’s not on my timeline. I had a plan before you got here, you know. You messed it up.”
He stood close, hip leaning against the counter, her steaming mug of tea between them. Him in front of her, real and live and in the flesh, she had an even harder time thinking of leaving. Leaving him and the life she’d begun here.
It was easy to believe in happily ever after when there was nothing but the soft sound of a dog snoring in the background. She opened her mouth to say… God, she didn’t even know what, but he spoke first.
“It’s late. I’m exhausted. I shouldn’t have said anything. I actually came here with Lila to make a request.”
“Oh?” Resetting her brain would take a minute. He’d turned her world upside down tonight.
“Gramps wants to meet you.” He held up a hand to stay any argument she might have. “I know. Bad timing after what we’ve been talking about. But he won’t stop asking about the woman who’s been taking up my free time. His words.”
“Brady…” Meeting his family was a level up, especially after she suggested they end things between them. But she had been the one to say they didn’t have to end it right away.
“Make an old man’s day,” he said with a half-smile.
“That’s a cheap shot.” She sighed. She liked him way too much to say no. “I’ll think about it.”
“Thank you.” He sounded sincere. “You okay on your own? I can stay. Lila might try and crawl into bed with you, though.”
“You don’t have to stay. I’m going to drink my tea and crash when my head hits the pillow. I’ll be fine.”
“How you ever believed you lost your independence is beyond me.” He kissed her forehead. “I can sleep on the couch. Wake you in the morning in a creative way.”
“Stop being irresistible.”
He watched her, his smile soft. He looked tired. The dog was already asleep. Elliott was about to drop. But her defenses were low when he was near, and she desperately needed clarity. That would only come if she was alone.
“Goodnight. Drive safe.”
“Hear that, Lila? Classic blow off.” He grabbed the leash. The dog stood up and stretched, tail swishing back and forth.
Elliott walked them to the door and waved when Brady backed down the driveway. It hurt her heart to see him go, but she let him.
She’d made the right decision.
Chapter 18
Elliott spent the next morning hunched over her laptop, a cup of coffee next to her elbow. She’d sent her resume off to three more companies and had spent the last hour browsing apartments online. Since she didn’t know where she would work yet, the housing search was going absolutely nowhere.
True to her word, she’d fallen asleep almost immediately after Brady left. She’d woken up at 4 a.m., tossing and turning. She thought about what he’d said. What he hadn’t said. What he could’ve said.
She thought about how she could feel about him if she stayed in Evergreen Cove. The town bordered on utopia. She was half-surprised residents didn’t randomly burst into song.
Amused by the image, she smiled to herself and admitted that life wasn’t perfect in the Cove. There were plenty of examples of struggle. Brady’s family. Lila’s situation. Lou’s divorce. They just happened to live in a beautiful place.
Elliott had been picturing a life in Chicago for months. She couldn’t give it up to take a chance on a relationship that likely wouldn’t work out. Brady had bad timing, which wasn’t his fault.
Besides, her parents, therapist, and friends from college lived in Illinois. Visiting the Cove was one thing, but living here? She would have to start from scratch. She’d already culled her life down to the bare minimum once this year.
With a sigh, she carried her empty coffee mug to the sink. She loaded the dishwasher and changed her clothes, taking the time to straighten her hair and smooth it back into a ponytail. At the balcony off her bedroom, she watched out the window as a lone seagull flew by. She’d always pictured gulls as ocean birds, not lake birds. A seagull had no business living in Ohio.
“Neither do I,” she reminded herself.
Worse, she’d been considering honoring Brady’s request to visit his grandfather when she should be cutting ties, not making more. But Brady was her friend. She was curious about the man who’d raised him.
A text chimed on her phone, and she shut her eyes. She knew who it was without looking. When she reopened them, sure enough, the text was from Brady.
“Talk to me, Elli Bean.”
Damn him. She wished he would have made it easier for her to say no. But then
, where Brady was concerned, her ability to push him away had the shortest shelf life ever.
She keyed in her response. “Alive and well. Ready when you are.”
His reply came quickly. “Glad to hear it. Pick you up at 1.”
An hour later she exited her front door and climbed into Brady’s truck to sit next to Lila. The dog licked Elli’s cheek, her tail thumping the seat when Elli used both hands to hold her scruffy face.
“She’s the cutest.”
“Careful. Making me jealous,” Brady warned with a smile.
“You’re cute, too.”
“What every guy dreams of, Elli Bean,” he said as he reversed out of her driveway. “Being cute.”
Well, he was.
A short while later, she had the same thought about his grandfather, though she kept that to herself.
“Emory Hutchins,” he introduced himself. “You’re a pretty thing.”
“Gramps.” Brady shook his head in warning.
“Oh, right.” Emory cleared his throat. “What I meant to say is that you’re an intelligent, capable woman who I respect mightily.” He grinned. “Do you like pancakes?”
Elli laughed. She saw where Brady had inherited his charm. “I appreciate both compliments, Emory, thank you.”
“You can call me Gramps. That’s what this knucklehead calls me.” He shot a thumb at his grandson.
Lila let out a bark to protest being left out of the conversation. Gramps promptly bent down to stroke the dog’s blond fur.
“I didn’t forget you, Pancake,” he said in a soothing voice. He turned to Brady. “Well, whether you’re eating them or not, she obviously has to have a pancake.” He pointed to the dog.
“Obviously,” Brady said drolly as Gramps and Lila walked into the kitchen.
“I can’t control him.” Brady lifted a hand and dropped it to his side. Seeing him here, in a cozy familial setting made her heart squeeze.
“You’re a good dog dad.”
He didn’t blush, but there was something shy about the way he shoved his hands deep into his pockets. There was nothing shy, however, about the way he leaned forward and muttered, “You forgot to kiss me last night, Bean. And today.”
“I didn’t forget.” Creating distance was hard. Especially while in the same room with him. “I was deciding if I should.”
He gripped her neck and lowered his lips just over hers. “You should. You definitely should.”
So, she did. Despite the arguments about why she shouldn’t. She lifted to her toes and pressed her mouth to his. He moved his lips on hers in a long, open-mouthed, carefully quiet kiss.
Or at least, she thought it was careful.
“Mercy’s sakes,” came Emory’s reply from the threshold of the kitchen. “I was going to ask you two if you needed pancakes, but apparently, you need a fire hose.” He threw a hand and then disappeared into the kitchen again.
“He doesn’t know the half of it.” Brady took her hand and sat with her on the sofa. “Any news on the job search?”
She swiped her palms down her shorts, suddenly nervous. “Not yet. I’ve narrowed down my number-one companies. But the apartments, oy. There are a lot of options in every price range. And without knowing my salary or where I’ll be working, it’s hard to commit.”
“A theme with you.” He smiled and quickly added, “I’m kidding.”
But he was wrong. She’d committed to Neil. As a result, she hadn’t done anything she wanted to do for the last half-decade.
“I’ve spent the last six years with my life on pause,” she said. “I’m not waiting for life to happen to me anymore. I have to be proactive.”
“I understand that.” His eyebrows closed in over his nose.
She assumed there was more he wanted to say. “But?”
“No but. As long as you’ve thought about what you want.”
“Of course I have.” She knew what she wanted. Chicago, a job, an apartment.
“When life changes, Bean, we have to change with it. Chicago sounds like an old dream you’re resurrecting. Not a new one. Better make sure it’s not decomposed before you dig it up.”
The noise that came from her throat was between a laugh and a grunt.
He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “What do you want, Elli? What do you really want?”
It’d been a long time since anyone had asked her that and listened for an answer. Most people who asked that question already had an answer in mind. Neil had told her on countless occasions what she should want, and why she should want it. Even her well-meaning parents had planted the seeds in her mind about her returning to Chicago and working with her father. They had their own reasons for feeling that way. They lived outside of Chicago and wanted her close by. Neil had had his reasons for pushing her, too.
What did she want?
It was frightening to think about. The world was vast, the possibilities endless. And who among them did what they wanted anyway? Who was able to live exactly the way they wanted on their own terms? Didn’t being a responsible adult mean doing what she had to, not what she wanted?
“Chicago’s a good fit for me,” she said rather than voice any of the confusion swirling in her head.
Brady remained silent, which frustrated her further. She’d already put herself on the path back to Illinois. Forward momentum was crucial. If she stopped now, she’d have to start over. Completely over.
“Staying here longer than necessary is a waste of time,” she continued defending. “I could be earning a living and moving on with my life.” She rewound what she’d said and closed her eyes. “I didn’t mean I’m wasting time with you. I meant—”
“Pancakes!” Gramps called. “Get in here before Lila and I eat them all!”
When she opened her eyes, Brady’s expression was carefully neutral.
“You don’t have to explain why you’re doing what you’re doing, Elli Bean. I just wanted to make sure the choices you’re making are for you for this time around. That you live the life you want and not the one someone is trying to create for you.” He bit down on his bottom lip, chagrined. “Guess that goes for me, too. Hell, I’d love it if you stick around. But you know that already. I respect your decision.”
He stood and helped her to her feet. Her heart raced as she took his hand. He’d said what she thought she wanted to hear. That the decision was hers. That he wouldn’t interfere. But at the same time, she felt like he was letting her go.
And like watching him leave last night, being let go felt awful.
Chapter 19
Brady hated to acknowledge it, but part of him was rooting against Elliott.
On Sunday, they’d eaten pancakes and laughed at Gramps’s colorful sense of humor. Brady had witnessed firsthand the chink his grandfather put in her armor. Seemed only fair. She’d battered Brady’s suit of armor half to hell.
But another part of him, the part that understood she was on her own journey and needed to make choices for herself, was betting on her to win. Her journey was just that: hers. He’d started up with her because he wanted her, not because he’d intended on forever and ever amen with her.
At least that’s what he kept telling himself.
“No charge, officer.” Elli pressed a button, shoved some cash from her pocket into the cash drawer and closed it before he could pay for his coffee. Jo chuckled, one hand on the bakery case, the other hand on her hip.
“Do you train your baristas to be this stubborn?” he asked.
“This one came with that feature. Didn’t need training,” Jo said. “I’ll miss her when she goes. Haven’t you talked her into staying yet?”
Elli’s playful smile tightened at the corners. Jo didn’t know she was dancing around a landmine, so he let her off the hook.
“You know me, Jo. Can’t tie me down. I’m a loner.” He slid his sunglasses onto his nose and his radio crackled in his ear. He recognized the address of the call. Mack and June Browning’s house.
Adrenaline
shot down his arms as he recalled their last heated exchanged. When he’d punched Mack. Took Lila. Left June crying.
He pressed a button on the radio and replied he was on his way.
“Is everything okay?” Elliott’s concern for him was written all over her face.
The truth was no, everything wasn’t okay. A call to Mack’s likely meant he was hitting his wife again, and this time, if June didn’t press charges, Brady might kidnap her and relocate her to an undisclosed location. Protocol or not.
“If Brady’s answerin’ the call, everything will be okay. Won’t it, Officer?” Jo knew plenty. Including Mack’s address. She’d employed June for a short while until Mack had refused to let her work. That reminded Brady of what Elli had been through, and the thought of her bending to her ex’s will made him want to chew nails.
“Perfectly fine.” He gave Elliott a cocky smile to communicate that she didn’t have to worry about him. “I’m a professional.”
He turned to leave, coffee in hand, when she called out, “Dinner at my house tonight? Seven o’clock?”
Slowly, he turned. She was standing at the counter, her face filled with a desperate sort of hope. He hadn’t expected the invitation. She’d blown him off since the visit with Gramps. He’d seen her here at the shop, and they’d had a few short text exchanges, but she hadn’t been eager to invite him over.
Until now, evidently.
The smart move would be to turn her down. She was leaving soon, and there was no sense in dragging this out longer than necessary. Except the look on her face was killing him. Her concern combined with ample longing was his weakness.
“Everything goes the way it should, I can be there at eight.” He had a full day ahead, but he wouldn’t miss the chance to spend time with her. Maybe she’d changed her mind about the Cove after all. And about him.
“Eight o’clock.” Her smile was nervous when she added, “Be careful, okay?”
That sank into his skin.
He hadn’t had a woman worry about him in a long time. Probably since his grandmother. She’d had her rosary beads out daily, praying for his safety.
Bad Boy Blues (Evergreen Cove Book 1) Page 9