by Kelly Ethan
Xandie shrunk back against Lila. Just what she didn’t need, Pain in her patootie Braun. Point Muse bear shifter, police chief, and meddler in her life.
Winifred charged forward, Colin waddling at her heels. “Get it together, Mother. The judges could be watching.”
Elspeth shook off Winifred’s helping hands and dusted her pants down. “Stupid wolf shifters, need to learn to keep their paws to themselves.” She shook a tiny fist at the nearest one curled up on the ground in the fetal position whimpering. “You’re lucky I’m not in my creation cave or I’d hex you until the fleas drove you crazy.”
The wolf shifter security team scuttled away from the deranged old woman as she ranted. Elspeth turned and shook an accusing finger at her protester daughter. “And you, Amelia Diana Harrow, better sleep with your eyes open. I know where you live.” Elspeth gathered up a panting Coilin and swept away with a babbling Winifred trailing her.
Amelia opened a bleary, bloodshot eye. “Is the mad witch gone yet?”
Zach Braun crouched down next to Amelia. “Care to tell me what this is all about, Ms. Harrow?”
Amelia stood with a wince. “Crap, it’s the fuzz. Take me away, copper. I got nothing to hide.” Amelia extended her hands so they could be cuffed.
Braun shook his head. “Firstly, you used to change my diapers and my mother would box my ears, and secondly do you want to be arrested so Elspeth can’t hex you?”
Amelia dropped her hands. “Maybe? Will you?”
“Not a chance. But cam you tell me what this incident is all about?”
Pointing dramatically at Lorelei, Amelia raised her voice. “It’s about people like her. Abusing and maltreating their pets and familiars in the name of entertainment.”
“You’re bitter you couldn’t hack the pace of competition, old woman,” Lorelei yelled back.
“Everyone knows you stack the odds, LaRue. And don’t think I didn’t recognize Amity Puffin hanging around you like a bad smell. We all know what she really does for you.” Amelia sneered.
“Please, you know nothing. You lost it when your corn pooped on a judge. Bitter old witch.” Lorelei sniffed then turning, flounced off with her shadow, Amity, following.
“I’ll stop you, Lorelei. I’ll stop you from abusing your animals somehow,” Amelia panted as she screeched at the purple sprite.
Braun placed a gentle hand on Amelia’s shoulder and steered her toward his cruiser. “Let’s have a cup of tea and a chat, okay?” He helped her into the car and they drove out of the resort carpark.
Lila massaged her forehead, then offered Xandie a weak smile. “Welcome to the real Harrow family, cuz. You sure you don’t want to run screaming off into the sunset?”
Never a dull moment in a family of witches living in a freaky, supernatural trouble magnet of a town.
Four
“I’d kill for a sausage, toots. How about you hop over to the big tent and fetch?” Colin gave Xandie the beady eye and scratched his tummy with a freshly trimmed rear claw.
Xandie flicked the pug on his nose. “How about I don’t sic my talking cat and his pet imp onto you?”
“Eww.” Colin wrinkled his abused nose. “You’re one of those people.”
“Those people would be?”
“Cat people.” Colin said this like he was talking about a murderer.
“Cat, imp, books. That’s me. So, no sausage for you. Besides, the judges will be around for the appearance round of the competition soon.”
Colin puffed his chest out. “I’m magnificent, the judges will be moved to tears.” He sagged back down and squinted for a moment and then smiled.
He didn’t? He wouldn’t… Xandie covered her nose and gagged. He had.
“Better out than in I say. How is my little man?” Elspeth cooed at Colin. She tweaked his bowtie and shifted his black velvet fedora further forward.
“Hanging loose and low, Elspeth. How about you?”
Elspeth cackled. “Nothing a good surgeon or a nasty warlock couldn’t fix. Now are you ready to shine, my glorious pug?”
“The judges won’t know what hit them.”
Elspeth nodded, satisfied. She turned to Xandie. “Where’s that mouthy cousin of yours?”
“Which one? I’ve got two to choose from.” Xandie smirked. Smart mouth was a side-effect of Harrow blood.
“Since death girl is away at a dead person’s conference that would mean Lila.”
Holly hated the death girl nickname Elspeth had burdened her with. She was part Banshee, part witch and worked in a mortuary, hence the nickname. Shrugging, Xandie glanced around the judging room. Little benches for both big and small animals were dotted around the room. Every competitor entered was currently giving their animals a once over before the judges came around for the first section, appearance.
“I suppose she’s probably tangling with her mother. Best they’re both out of the way anyway.” Elspeth rubbed her hands together, then leaned conspiratorially into Xandie. “Keep an eye out for Winifred. She wouldn’t approve.”
Approve of what? What fresh hell did her grandmother have planned?
Elspeth leaned toward Colin and blew a little pile of dust on him. The dust glittered purple and pink and settled over the pug in a psychedelic cloud.
Colin coughed and snorted. His little fedora hat flew through the air when a huge sneeze erupted from his hairy muzzle. Green and purple colored snot spattered Xandie, Elspeth and the nearest competitor, Lorelei LaRue.
“Harrows.” Lorelei squealed and tried flicked the substance off her gauzy cream tea dress. “You’re all a menace.”
Xandie grimaced and used Colin’s hat to wipe the mess off the hysterical woman. “Sorry, Colin has allergies.”
Lorelei hissed at Xandie. “That oversexed hairy furball will never win. My Fifi has more breeding in her little horn then he does in all of his neck rolls.”
Elspeth bared her teeth and covered Colin’s ears. “Ignore her. She needs a good feed of red meat. She’s lacking iron.” Elspeth narrowed eyes. “Or she will be when I’m done with her.”
“Yeah, that mini corn. Whoa, what a dame.” Colin winked at the mini corn currently cowering next to Amity Puffin, hairstylist of the competition.
“You leave Fifi alone, you Harrow-made menace,” Lorelei screeched and planted herself in front of her stylist.
Xandie intervened. “I’m sure Colin and Elspeth didn’t mean to hurt you or insult Fifi. Let’s all calm down before the judges arrive.” Xandie faked a smile and nodded at Amity. “Are you here to prepare Fifi? I thought I saw a smudge on her coat.”
Both women squealed and immediately lost interest in Elspeth and fawned over the mini corn instead.
“Elspeth, keep your cool. That purple woman is obsessed, you never know what you might find on your doorstep if she loses it.”
“I’d like to see her try, Xandie. I have the most perfect hex for her and that Fifi. Anyone spell hair and fur loss?” Elspeth spat her words out, outrage obvious in every bone in her body.
“Mother. What have you done?” Winifred stood, arms crossed, glaring at Colin. Or at the glittery purple patches that now covered his back.
“Yeah, I got a powerful itch. Anyone got a back scratcher?” Colin raised a leg and scratched furiously towards his back.
“Nooo.” Elspeth wailed. “He was supposed to sparkle, not itch.”
Xandie poked one of the patches of purple. “Looks like an allergic reaction. Maybe you should get Amelia to have a look?”
Winifred and Elspeth grimaced as one. “Not a good idea and we can’t throw another spell at him. It would make his reaction worse.”
“Oh dear, love. That doesn’t look good.” The tall man with the clipboard who’d run to Hannah Mede’s rescue when the banner collapsed, stood next to them.
“My poor baby.” Elspeth sobbed crocodile tears over Colin’s patchy purple coat.
“We’re due to start in ten minutes. You need to find something to clear it or cover h
is coat up. Otherwise the other competitors will eat him alive.”
Xandie narrowed suspicious eyes at the man standing next to Colin. He towered over her and had a swarthy olive complexion with curly dark brown hair. With heavily muscled shoulders and arms, he didn’t exactly look like the pet show type. “And you are?”
The man snapped to attention and saluted with his clipboard. “Davros Mazani, at your service. I’m the producer and head ringleader for this circus.”
Elspeth lifted her head and tears magically disappeared. “You related to Olga Mazani?”
“My dearly departed, sainted grandmother.”
“She cheated at poker.”
He shrugged. “A saint’s gotta win a round or two of poker sometimes too.” He checked his watch. “You don’t have much longer to find something to help the purple monster.”
Winifred snapped her fingers. “Quick, Xandie, head to the food tent. Some baking soda and warm water might help.”
Xandie nodded and took off at a run. The quicker she was, the less time Elspeth had to set off witch world war three with the not-so-nice Lorelei LaRue. Taking a shortcut behind the judging team, Xandie yelped as she ran into two well-dressed men, whispering animatedly. Xandie hit the grass with a thump. Thankfully, her rear end was well padded courtesy of Lila’s baking.
One of the men, a solid built blond, Malachi Mede, offered a hand to Xandie. “Sorry, Miss?” He hauled Xandie to her feet and stared quizzically at her.
Blushing at her clumsiness, Xandie offered an apologetic smile. “Meyers. Xandie Meyers. We’ve got a bit of a rash problem and judging is soon. I should have looked where I was going.”
The other gentlemen, this one with almond shaped eyes and close-cropped black hair, bowed to Xandie. “Apologies, Ms. Meyers. I thought I’d offer my salutations to Mr. Mede on the opening of his lovely resort. Unfortunately, we chose an inappropriate spot.” He bowed again. “Malachi, I look forward to speaking about the resort another time.” He nodded to Xandie and quickly left.
Someone was eager to leave. But was it because of her clumsiness or something else? Switching on the charm, Xandie tended her own apologies. “Sorry for disturbing your chat. I didn’t think anyone was behind the judging tent right now.”
Malachi Mede looked uncomfortable for a moment but recovered swiftly. “No worries, Ms. Meyers. Rashes are more important than listening to someone gush over your place. Please excuse me, I have to find my wife. She’s overseeing the food for tonight’s cocktail party.” Mede nodded and disappeared into his resort.
Something made her think his meeting had been a tad more important than gushing over resorts or gossiping about the health conditions of the pet show contestants… Colin. Xandie took off again this time for the food tent.
Pushing open the flap, Xandie waited for a moment to let her eyes adjust to the absence of glare. The beginning of Fall in Maine was glorious and Point Muse had turned on its welcoming weather for the pet show. But it made it hard for a girl to see what condiments she needed for an Elspeth-caused rash.
“Lunch isn’t until one.” A woman in a chef’s smock glared at Xandie.
The same dark-haired woman who’d sneered at Lila’s bakery the other day. The same person Lila had run away from and procasti-baked for hours.
“I need some baking soda for a rash emergency.” Xandie crossed her fingers the woman could help, otherwise she’d have to test her lungs and legs and search out the resort kitchen double time.
The chef frowned. “I think I have some in the kitchen.” She pointed a red-tipped finger at Xandie. “Stay there.” And disappeared into the back of the tent.
Xandie tapped her fingernails on the benchtop and snuck a look at the food in the glass cabinets. Only a few dishes were out, but everything looked delicious. One thing could be said for Malachi Mede. He spared no expense in opening his resort and hosting the pet show.
“Here. The chef shoved a small box at Xandie. “Bring it back if there’s anything left. God knows the last thing I need is someone accusing me of stealing produce.”
“Nothing new for you, Madison. Being accused of stealing, I mean.” Lila growled from behind Xandie.
“I did not steal your recipe, Harrow. We happened to submit the same recipe at the same time. You’re sore because you lost your place. Only the best is offered a place at the Witchbonne.” The chef smirked.
Xandie juggled her box of baking soda and stepped out of the firing zone.
“You mean the crookedest. The only way you got in was by cheating and stealing my flambe.” Lila stood with her fingers curled in fists, sparks shooting from her clenched hands…literal sparks.
“Well, you almost ruined my dish. That means you cheated too.”
Lila drew back. “Liar.”
“You set my flambé on fire.”
“It’s supposed to be on fire.”
“Not when a judge is eating it. You’re lucky they saw the funny side and scored me for creativity.” The chef bared her teeth in a shark smile. “In fact, you could say you helped me into that position all by your witchy old self.”
Lila threw her hands up in the air. “You’ll get yours, Madeline Luna. Karma loves a cheater.” Lila grabbed Xandie’s arm and towed her out of the tent.
“Not a friend then?” Xandie quirked an eyebrow in question.
Lila released her grip on Xandie’s arm and took a deep breath. “Sorry, she’s a sore spot with me. Luna stole one of my recipes and used it to get into one of the best witch cooking schools we have. I can’t stand her.”
“That’s the woman you saw yesterday outside the bakery?”
“Yeah, I try and avoid her. She brings out the witch in me.” Lila offered a shamefaced smile to Xandie.
“Well, if I don’t get this to Elspeth,” Xandie held up the baking soda, “then we’ll both be seeing the witch in Elspeth.”
“Lead on, scaredy-pants Meyers. God forbid you tangle with a geriatric witch.” Lila bowed.
“Have you met our grandmother? She’d scare an angel into retreating.”
“True.” Lila took off running.
Jogging to the judging tent, Xandie burst in with a huff and made a beeline to her grandmother and Aunt Winifred.
“Sorry it took so long. Lila was about to have a fight with the caterer.” Xandie extended the box to her grandmother. Both women were standing on tiptoes, whispering to each other. Davros, the producer, had disappeared.
“Is this some Harrow bonding thing I don’t know about?” Xandie murmured to Lila who shrugged.
“Who knows with those two?”
“Shush. We’re trying to listen,” Winifred hushed her nieces.
Xandie shot Lila a confused glance and dumped the baking soda box next to a snoring, purple-patch-covered Colin. “Let’s get closer and have a look.” Xandie pushed through the crowd of competitors and onlookers. A thin wail echoed over the crowd’s rising noise.
“Over there.” Lila pointed to the curtained-off grooming section. Where three judges currently lingered.
Lila shifted in front of the curtain to sneak a peek. A female loudly sobbed from behind.
“What’s going on?” Xandie asked a little man with a frizzed-out mop of a bird sitting on his shoulder.
“Murder.” He drew the word out with relish.
Another one? Maybe she was a body magnet? Elspeth and Winifred were fine, who could it be? “Who was killed?”
“That purple be-witch Lorelei and her mini corn. Might open the field up to the rest of us.” The little man smiled with a mouthful of teeth filed to points.
“Xandie, look.” Lila pointed to the curtain, as it twitched back to reveal chief Zach Braun, a sobbing Amity Puffin and an angry Amelia Harrow.
But that wasn’t the only thing it revealed. Standing still as a statue behind Amelia with hands in the air was a petrified Lorelei LaRue and her mini corn, Fifi.
Zach Braun turned towards Amelia, “I’m sorry, Ms. Harrow. But I need to ask you a few que
stions down at the station.” With that, he led her away from the tent along with a sobbing Amity Puffin.
Here we go again. Xandie Meyers, dead body magnet, back in business.
Five
“Can’t believe that obnoxious glittering rabbit took out first place in appearance.” Elspeth limped around the room with her arm in a sling.
Lila snickered while she dusted her cousin’s kitchen bench. “I can’t believe you hexed the golden goose to lay an egg on its head.”
Elspeth growled. “I was trying to smother the damn rabbit with the goose. How was I to know their owners used to be married and the animals had grown up together?”
“How about you try not to kill your competitors? Might help.” Xandie shuddered, the chaos at the appearance judging stage was not something she was likely to forget. After the police had carefully removed Lorelei, the judges had continued with their rounds and awarded best place to Lulu Moon’s glitter Angora rabbit. Elspeth had not dealt with defeat well.
“I see you, Alexandra. Your position as my favorite granddaughter is tenuous at best.”
“God’s sake, Gran. You lost. Give it up.”
Elspeth pointed her finger at Lila. “I was robbed.” She sighed. “Fine, maybe getting Colin to belch radioactive gas on that Phoenix was a bit much, but how did I know she’d go up in flames and set the tent on fire?” Elspeth pointed at her sling-bound arm. “I was injured too. Didn’t do that on purpose.”
Xandie coughed into her hand and ignored Elspeth’s dramatics. She’d rather hear from Lila about her mother. “Have you heard anything about your mom, Lila?”
Lila dropped her cloth and leaned against the kitchen bench which was now covered in an overdose of baking goods. “Nothing since the last update. They interviewed her all night about Lorelei and their history together. Winifred left a little while ago to try and break her out of the station.”