by Kelly Ethan
Lila bopped Xandie on the nose. “You forgot one.”
“And?”
“Win the pet show so Elspeth doesn’t curse you for the rest of your tragically shortened life.” She smiled widely and winked.
“Thanks, cuz. You’re a gem.” Xandie stomped off in search of Winifred and the disaster in the making, Colin the show pug. She ignored Lila’s smirk. Honestly, some days you just had to ignore your family and get on with sleuthing.
In the end, finding Winifred was easy, Colin on the other hand was a little harder.
“Where is he, Aunt Winifred?” Xandie tapped her foot and glared at her normally beaming aunt.
Winifred wrung her hands. “I swear, he was here complaining about the doggy yoga I had him doing. He’s coming off cigar withdrawals and is so grumpy. I thought the yoga would relax him. I grabbed him a toy cat to chew on and then he disappeared. Mother’s going to hex me when she finds out.”
“Not if we find him first.” Odds were, Elspeth was already involved in Colin’s disappearance. Her maniacal grandmother probably had some devious and underhanded plan in play involving the pug. Xandie glanced around, no one was screaming at the dirty pug’s antics, so the dressing tent was clear. “Stay here and stall if anyone asks about Colin.” She patted her aunt on the arm and ducked outside.
“Where on earth are you, Colin?” Xandie stopped in the middle of the flagstone walkway and considered her options. There were three things Colin cared about. Cigars, food and females. No way would anyone sell a pug cigars.
That left food and females.
The back of Xandie’s neck itched, rubbing the skin she turned. No one was nearby, but still her skin prickled. There’d been a few times on the last week her skin had crawled like a thousand eyes were watching…or maybe a few from those ASP morons. Shaking the feeling, Xandie sped off towards the food tent and Lila’s nemesis, Chef Madelyn Luna.
Lifting the tent flap, Xandie cautiously peered in. A few people having coffee nodded their heads in hello, but otherwise everything seemed calm and Colin-free.
“In or out but stop propping up the tent flap,” Chef Luna snapped at Xandie.
Into the lion’s den… Xandie slipped in and forced a smile. “Sorry, I’m currently hunting a talking pug called Colin. Have you seen him at all? He has an obsession with red meat.”
“You.” Madelyn hissed and grabbed Xandie by the arm, towing her into a curtained-off kitchen preparation area. “That. That’s what happened.” She pointed to the pots and pans littering the floor, along with empty meat packets. “I had fifty kilos of hamburger meat. Now I have none. Your lousy pug was the four-legged culprit.”
Lila would either blow her top or revel in Madelyn’s anguish. Either way it would be another Harrow drama. Time for damage control. “Can you conclusively prove that it was Colin the pug? Fifty kilos is a lot of meat for one little dog.”
“Three things. A big puddle of purple-colored pee, a dog’s paw print and I saw his flabby butt high-tailing out of here. He yelled I was a grumpy dame who needed to eat more.” Madelyn scowled at Xandie. “How are you going to fix this?”
Oh, Colin. If you do the deed, don’t get caught. Elspeth’s first rule of dirty deeds. “Bill Harrow House for the meat and fix something else for lunch. Aren’t you meant to be a renowned Witchbonne chef?” Zinger, baby.
Madelyn growled. “Whatever. Like I said, trust you Harrows to be involved in mayhem.” She held up a hand to forestall Xandie’s words. “I don’t care if you’re Meyers, you’ve still got Harrow blood. Nosy, mayhem magnets, all of you. Look at the trouble going on at the show right now.”
Xandie protested, even though she couldn’t help agreeing with the chef’s words. “We didn’t murder anyone here. Bodies just seem drawn to us for some reason. It’s not our fault!”
Scoffing at her words, Madelyn collected the meat wrappers and shoved them into the trashcan. “I suppose that could happen, but still this place and you Harrows are cursed. Trouble always follows you.”
Madeline was always around the pet show people, maybe she’d heard something? “Can’t blame you there. Harrows’ middle name is chaos. But we aren’t the culprits this time. Have you seen anything strange or suspicious while you’ve been working here?”
“In Point Muse, everything is strange, but this resort takes the witch prize for wacky. The power’s always surging here, and accidents keep happening when the owner, Hannah Mede, is around. Food spoiling, allergic reactions, furniture breaking, clothing missing. You name it. Don’t get me started on the freaks that are hanging around her either.” Madelyn grabbed a handful of pots and stowed them away, out of sight.
Talk about way too many coincidences featuring Hannah Mede. But was it her the killer was after or something to do with the resort? “What freaks are we talking about exactly? Point Muse ones or the psycho killer kind?”
“Who knows in this place? But the creep looked dirty and unkempt. A short, older guy with a yellow-stained beard. He’s always following her, but I’ve seen him talking to Mr. Mede and that polite Japanese guy, Mr. Shan. Now could I have some peace to get some cleaning done?”
“Sorry again for the mess.” Xandie paused at the kitchen exit. “Any idea where the pug was headed?”
“Last time I saw his flabby behind, he was heading towards the resort kitchen.”
Xandie waved thanks as Madelyn yelled at her again. “My invoice for the meat will be in the mail this afternoon.”
“Damn you, Colin. Couldn’t keep your nasty paws off the food.” Speaking of food, she needed to get up to the kitchen pronto. Before he did more damage they couldn’t afford.
Xandie reached the kitchen and the open back door. That didn’t bode well. The same back door where currently an annoyed Hannah Mede’s voice was floating out of. “Don’t blame the dog. The door was left open, that’s a health and safety issue. Not an animal control one.”
Xandie poked her head in the doorway. A group of white-shirted kitchen attendants grouped around Hannah wiping her down with towels. Milk and eggs, mixed together in a dairy and shell minefield, covered the floor. Colin had obviously visited the kitchen for a drink after his red meat feast. “Hannah? Are you okay?”
Hannah pulled a towel off her matted blonde ringlets. “Hi, Xandie. I guess you’re looking for a runaway pug?”
Xandie grimaced. “I’m sorry. He’s Elspeth’s dog and he has a mind and a voice of his own.”
Hannah giggled. “I guessed that when he told me I had nice gams. Then I slipped in a puddle of milk and got covered in this mess. He took off before I could grab him.”
Snatching a cloth, Xandie rubbed at a massive piece of shell attached to Hannah’s back. “I’m sorry about this, I hope you’re okay.”
Hannah waved off the kitchen staff and motioned for Xandie to follow her. “Don’t apologize. At least this accident I can blame on a talking dog. It’s all the bad luck that’s happening to me that I can’t explain that freaks me out.” Hannah grabbed a clean towel from a bench in front of a bank of lockers and swiped at her shirt. “And I’m not crossing Elspeth Harrow for no one. Colin gets a free pass.”
After dumping the egg-covered towel into a laundry bag, she considered Xandie for a moment and then leaned against the lockers. “Now if someone was interested in solving Lorelei LaRue’s murder and they stepped through the unlocked door over there to the left, they might be able to have a sneak peek at LaRue’s second dressing room before the police arrived?” Hannah winked and sashayed off.
“Hannah Mede, you are full of surprises.” Xandie checked her surroundings then pushed the door open to Lorelei’s secret room. Only a small office, but Lorelei managed to turn all available space into a dumping ground for everything purple in the world. A small window, decorated with a purple and silver gauzy curtain, looked out towards the staff car park. A metal folding desk and matching chair had been shoved up into the corner and was stacked high with an extensive collection of expensive make-up. Clothing l
ay in piles on the floor and draped over a small sofa.
Xandie picked through the pigsty and was struck by a severe case of déjà vu. She felt like she’d been in this position before, searching through someone’s life garbage. At least that strange feeling of being watched had disappeared. For now. Hopefully those ASP agents after her supposedly disappeared mother, had given up.
Xandie shoved clothing around the floor with her foot. All she learnt was that Lorelei had been a disorganized piglet. She shuddered at the thought of what Theo would do to a pile of her clothing. He was annoyed enough she was undercover at the same show that refused to let him compete with his own imp.
Shifting aside a pile of sparkly purple mini corn collars, Xandie uncovered a small-framed photo. It was a shot taken of Lorelei, draped over a purple racing corn neck. She stood in front of a racing track, grinning widely into the camera and holding the trophy aloft. And there in the background was a short old man with a yellow beard, along with a disgruntled-looking Malachi Mede.
“Interesting.” Could that be the grimy man following Hannah that Madelyn Luna described? “How are you all connected to Lorelei?” Xandie tapped the photo with a nail and a small yellow ticket slipped out from the frame.
Frowning, Xandie picked it up and studied the ticket. Most of the writing on the slip read like a foreign language. Race eleven. Acacia cup. Illusion Park stood out. Illusion Park was home to the racing corns, the same animal that Lorelei was hanging off in the photo. Was the grimy bearded old man some kind of bookie? Lorelei obviously loved the racing corns, but was she an owner or a gambler? What was the connection to Malachi Mede?
A creak behind her was the only warning that someone had snuck up behind her. Xandie shoved the ticket in her pocket and spun to face her intruder.
“Always poking your nose in where it isn’t supposed to be.” Chief of police, Zach Braun, frowned at Xandie. “Do I even want to know why you’re in here?”
Xandie made a point of poking under the desk in the corner of the room. “Looking for a runaway pug. If I don’t find him, Elspeth will go on a hex rampage.”
The chief looked over his shoulder, obviously scanning for a scary haggish witch. “Well, there’s no pug here. How about you run along and keep out of my investigation?”
His investigation? Ha. Let’s see whose investigation it was. Xandie smiled sweetly and took a leaf out of Hannah’s blonde bombshell book and sashayed out, wiggling her fingers in a sarcastic little wave. She could hear Zachy ‘bear’ Braun grinding his teeth as she walked past.
Life was good when she could annoy a bear shifter and solve a murder at the same time.
Seven
“There’s no need to be nervous. You know what to do,” Winifred mumbled, looking anywhere but at Xandie.
“But I don't know. We were supposed to practice, but Elspeth whipped Colin away for some special powwow with you. What do I do?” Okay, now she was nervous. Xandie paced alongside the show ring. The next stage was something called the gate stage.
“I was actually speaking to Colin.” Winifred offered a weak smile to her niece. “We’ve gone through everything with him. Follow his lead.”
“Yeah, this is a piece of cake, sugar. I got this. Follow me.” Colin puffed out his manly doggy chest.
Xandie rolled her eyes. “This round is about Colin following my lead, my directions. Correct?” Xandie waited for Colin to nod. “Then how can I follow him?”
Winifred and Colin looked at each other and then back to Xandie, speechless.
“Oh, for god’s sake.” Xandie raised her hands up in the air and let them drop heavily by her side.
Winifred grabbed Xandie's hands and gave them a quick squeeze. “Trust us. We have this managed.” She rolled her eyes to the left side of the ring and then waited for Xandie's response. Frowning, Winifred rolled her eyes again to the left side.
Had her aunt suffered some kind of seizure no one had told her about? Then she followed her aunt's eye roll and scanned the left side of the ring. Mostly onlookers and supporters stood chatting ringside, waiting for the next stage to start. A few familiar faces around town, but no one special... Xandie's gaze stuttered to a stop and then reversed back two people. Hanging out ringside, with a gray wig and hunched over a walking stick, was her grandmother, Elspeth. Even though banned, she'd come disguised as an old woman. The irony.
She blew out a breath and glared at her aunt. “Do I want to know what's going on?”
“Best not to. The future police report and all that.” Colin winked at Xandie.
Davros popped up next to Colin. “All ready to go, Colin?”
“The engine is revving, Davros. Let me at those judges.”
“Good to know. Wait for your cue then slay the judges with your awesomeness.” Davros winked at Colin and darted off to the next competitor.
“Shake your tail, sweet cheeks. Time to show the world my glorious talented body.” Colin trotted off and lined up at the edge of the ring.
“Elspeth owes me. Got it?” Xandie narrowed her gaze. “I will collect and my fee will be double if it includes Elspeth danger time.”
Winifred looked confused. “You aren't charging anything. You don't have a showing fee.”
“Exactly.” Xandie stomped off. Her threat hadn't exactly come out the way she wanted, but still, having a lurking Elspeth Harrow around didn’t bode well.
Alex Pennywort, host extraordinaire, sidled up to Xandie as she stood behind Colin.
“Ms. Meyers?”
Xandie smiled up at the tall, skinny show host with his slick backed hair and pale complexion and tried not to look too eager. Pennywort was on her interview list and here he was in front of her. Maybe having Elspeth around wasn't bad luck. “Yes. But it’s Xandie, please.”
“I'm sorry to say, but there are some irregularities in Colin's paperwork.”
Bam and there was the Harrow bad luck kicking in. “What kind of irregularities?”
Alex cleared his throat. “His birthdate was listed as last week, and his breed is noted down as whatever the hell I say it is.”
Elspeth. “My grandmother's idea of a joke. Colin is a pug bonded to Elspeth Harrow and as such is blessed with some advantages.”
Pennywort glanced down at the pug currently sharpening his claws on a Stymphalian bird while chatting her up. The Greek bird had a beak of bronze and sharp, metallic feathers that gleamed in the sun. And they were man-eaters.
Xandie closed her eyes for a moment. Seriously, which pantheon of gods had she annoyed to get Colin babysitting duties?
The host stepped behind Xandie. “Flora is quite particular about her bronze feathers. She's been known to shoot them out like arrows at people who annoy her.” Pennywort prudently moved a few more steps away from Colin and Xandie.
A bird with a beak, talent and feathers made out of bronze would interest Colin. Of course, any female with a heartbeat would do that.
“Colin, heel.” Xandie snapped her fingers and prayed to her library that he’d listen.
Instead, Colin yanked his head around and scowled at Xandie, but still moved away from the bird with a wink.
She offered a weak smile to the green-haired nymph standing behind Flora, the fierce metal bird. Xandie turned back to Pennywort and apologized to both the host and the nymph. “Sorry, Colin’s just friendly. Everyone loves him. So, is it still okay for him to compete?”
Alex cleared his throat and checked his papers. “Of course. Now you've explained, records will be amended. No problems.” Alex paused for a moment, obviously measuring his words. “I heard you're investigating LaRue’s death?”
Seriously? Gossip got around quicker than her grandmother did. “I'm not investigating, the police do that. I’m making sure my Aunt Amelia isn't charged with a crime she didn't commit.”
“Of course.” He nodded sagely and then lowered his voice. “After this stage is completed, come find me. I have information that might help you.”
He winked slowly to ma
ke sure she got the point. And then quick-stepped away to the middle of the ring. Clapping his hands and then flicking his fingers in a strange pattern, his voice boomed out as if he was speaking into a loudspeaker.
“Welcome one and all to the gate stage of the Supernatural Pet and Familiar Show. This is where our experienced judges will ask our competitors and their animals to complete a series of actions.” He paused for dramatic effect, then ploughed on. “Each competitor has an arm band with a number. The judges will call out a number and an action. The competitor will step forward with their animal and complete this action. At the end of the stage if the judge calls out your number, you will step out and stack your dog to be judged. The winners will be announced shortly afterward. The judge today will be Wallace Moonshadow.” With a flourish, Pennywort welcomed the judge to the ring.
Xandie whispered down to Colin. “What does stack mean?”
“Pose me, baby. Show my muscles off and blind that wannabe accountant with my awesome show dog skills. “
They were screwed.
The short, balding man with the nervous twitch, stepped up to the ring. Moonshadow cleared his throat. “All competitors please move around the ring in a single pass until back in your starting spot.” The animals shuffled around, but no one moved. Xandie craned her neck around the green nymph to see who was at the start.
A visibly sweating Lulu Moon crouched down next to the trembling Angora rabbit, currently glowing a fluorescent purple.
“Bunny has performance anxiety. Good chance for us to scoop the winning pool.” Colin smirked and panted, obviously raring to go.
Green nymph agreed. “Moon’s been off her game since LaRue stole her husband. Plus, being the second favorite to take out supernatural all breed champion is a tough weight to deal with.”